Friends ForNever

by Melissa Baldwin

  I'm sorry about earlier. I overreacted.

  After thinking about it, I'm going to meet with Chelsie in the morning, and hopefully I still have a shot at the job. They obviously were impressed by my work, so I'm not expecting them to change their minds, at least I hope not. I don't know much about Madeline Bufont, but I have heard she's ridiculously strict when it comes to her staff. She doesn't even allow her staff to wear certain shoes, so I'm sure she would never tolerate a relationship in the office. Although it's not like Aiden is coming to Paris, so why should it matter to her?

  I arrive at work bright and early yet again. Late last night, I sent Chelsie a message explaining that I really wanted this opportunity, and I desperately needed to talk to her. She was really nice and told me to be in her office first thing, so here I am. All of a sudden, I feel like everything is falling apart around me, and I have no idea why. I feel like I have to do something.

  "Thanks for meeting with me," I say after she hands me a cup of coffee. Chelsie has the good coffee in her office. She has some kind of coffee press thing that probably cost a fortune—anyway, it makes the best coffee, which is better than our cheap Mr. Coffee coffeemaker in the break room.

  "Of course," she says. "I'm sorry about yesterday. When I got the call from HR, I was completely blindsided because I thought everyone knew that you and Aiden were seeing each other. I guess that wasn't the case."

  "Any idea how HR found out?" I ask her nonchalantly. I don't want her to know that I want to find out and confront the person who may have potentially ruined my chances to go to Paris.

  "I have no idea," she insists. "I don't even know if someone told them or if they just heard. You know how people talk around the office."

  I spend almost an hour in her office, and I feel a little better. She seems to think that my position is safe. I hope she's right.

  I'm about to leave her office, but I stop. "Chelsie, do you think there's a way to find out who did this?"

  She smiles wickedly. "Do you want me to try?" she asks.

  "Yes, please. I really would like to know who my real friends are."

  This day is going much better than yesterday, although I haven't heard back from Aiden. I really want to go to his office, but I don't think seeking him out here would be in my best interest right now. I'm starting to feel as though the walls have eyes.

  "I need to talk to you," Bre whispers as soon as she gets to work. She doesn't show up until lunchtime. She claims she had a doctor's appointment, but I can tell by her bright complexion that she was at the spa. Why is she whispering?

  "Okay," I whisper back. Now I'm whispering, too. Why does that happen?

  "Later," she mouths, motioning toward Aly's desk, and Aly isn't even here.

  Bre is acting so strange, even more so than normal. There are now two pictures of her and Harry strategically placed on her desk, so I'm assuming they're pretty serious now. I guess this happened at the right time because she hasn't mentioned anything about not getting selected for the project. I guess her dream man has finally come along and that outweighs working in Paris for five weeks. I need to ask her if she is still seeing the dating doctor.

  I text Aiden again. I really wish I wasn't so rude to him yesterday.

  Can we talk tonight?

  A few minutes later, he finally texts me back.

  I think we need to. Meet in the lobby after work.

  Damn. That's not exactly what I was hoping for. His text is really cold, and I feel sick to my stomach. What have I done? Between waiting to hear something about my job and waiting to meet Aiden after work, I don't get anything done the rest of the afternoon. I end up watching YouTube videos on how to braid hair. I guess I can call this research if I ever decide to do a piece on hairstyles, which will never happen. Bre disappears at some point during the day and never comes back. I guess she didn't have to talk to me that badly.

  I'm in the lobby at 5:05. I didn't want to appear that desperate, so I sat at my desk watching the minutes pass. Aiden is already sitting on one of the couches, looking at his phone.

  "Hey, stranger," I say cheerfully.

  "Hey."

  Wow, that sure was a chilly greeting. I knew he was upset with me, but I didn't expect this. I sit down next to him, but it feels like he's hundreds of miles away.

  "Before you say anything, I want to apologize for yesterday. I totally overreacted, and I'm really sorry." I put my hand on his arm, and he looks at it as if it's poisonous.

  He doesn't say anything at first.

  "Who's Will?"

  I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. Why is he asking about Will?

  "What?" I say absently. I'm so confused.

  "Will?" he spits out his name. I feel like an idiot because I'm not sure what to say.

  "Why are you asking me about Will?" I reply defensively. "He's a…friend. A family friend, actually."

  He nods his head. "Only a friend?"

  "I told you about Will. Don't you remember? I told you how my mom had some crazy idea of setting me up with her friend's son." I pull my hand away and fold my arms tight to my chest.

  "Erin, that was a while ago, before you and I started getting more serious," he explains. "I didn't think you would still be seeing him."

  I shake my head in disbelief.

  "I'm not seeing him. He's my friend." I'm really bothered that he's acting like this, and it's not like Aiden and I have discussed being exclusive.

  "Weren't you just with him the other day?" he snaps. I don't believe this. I knew I couldn't trust her. Aly told him that she saw me with Will. I fold my arms and glare at him.

  "Let me guess. Aly told you she ran into us, didn't she?" I ask. "Not that I'm surprised. I told you she was behind all of this, didn't I?"

  Aiden jumps up and faces me. "Don't make this about Aly. I don't understand your feud with her. This is about you and me."

  I'm absolutely fuming. "Are you serious right now?" I ask, raising my voice. "This is absolutely about Aly. Will and I are only friends. We had brunch last weekend and happened to run into her and her friend. I can only imagine the kind of bullshit story she gave you." We are now both standing up facing each other. A few people in the lobby have turned to look at us.

  "Maybe we need to walk outside and finish this discussion," I say through gritted teeth. I head toward the door with Aiden a few steps behind me.

  "Fine," he says.

  It's a chilly San Francisco night, and the air is even colder between Aiden and me. I refuse to give in and apologize when I've done nothing wrong.

  "Aiden, I promise you that there is nothing going on between Will and me, but it's obvious that you are going to believe what you want," I say rudely.

  Aiden looks me in the eyes for the first time during our argument. He's breathing heavily, and I can tell he wants to say something. I want him to tell me that he believes me and not her. I want him to apologize to me. And I want to go back to that night we were together on my couch, talking and kissing. Everything was almost perfect until someone else had to interfere.

  "Aly did not tell anyone about us," he says calmly. "I asked her, and she swore to me that she would never do something like that. She really cares about you and your friendship."

  I laugh loudly. "Sure she does. That's why she took the first opportunity she had to tell you about seeing me with Will." I'm trying to act tough, but inside, I'm falling apart. He doesn't say a word and looks away.

  "Well, I guess there isn't any more to say," I say as I turn and walk briskly down the street, leaving him standing alone. I hear him call my name, but I keep walking and don't turn back.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  My life is a mess right now. I've called in sick to work for the past three days, basically since my big blowup with Aiden. I've hardly eaten and have done nothing but watch TV (go figure). I don't want to see anyone or deal with anything right now. I finally answer my phone, but only because it's Mya.

  "Hey Mya," I say. I know I
sound horrible.

  "What the hell is happening out there? Do I have to come to Cali to fix your life for you?" she shouts into the phone. I have to pull the phone away from my ear because she's so loud. I start to cry and explain the details of my fight with Aiden through my sobs.

  "So, who's this Aly girl?" she interrupts. "That's it, I'm coming there." I know Mya well enough to know that she's already online searching for plane tickets. At this point, I think she would do more harm than good.

  "Just take a breath and count to ten, Mya. There's nothing you can do right now."

  "You know this is a typical guy thing," she exclaims.

  "What do you mean?" I ask curiously.

  "Don't you see it? He got so jealous when he heard you were hanging out with another guy that he completely flipped out. That should tell you something."

  "I don't know," I wail.

  She laughs. "He obviously can't deal with his feelings, so he reacted the wrong way."

  "Whatever." I'm too emotionally exhausted to deal with men and their issues.

  "I'm just saying don't give up on him yet. Now, what are we going to do about Paris?"

  The rest of our conversation is all about Paris. She actually thinks I need to put together a PowerPoint presentation to plead my case. This is so Mya, always overdramatic, but honestly, at this point, I don't think I care about it anymore.

  As if my life isn't miserable enough, a few minutes later I get a text from my mother reminding me of family dinner tomorrow night. I try to tell her I'm sick, and she shows her usual concern with her response.

  Take a vitamin C, and dinner is at 6.

  Figures. Thanks for your concern, Mommy, I think to myself.

  As I'm getting ready for bed, I suddenly get the urge to call Aiden. The more I think about it, the more I miss him. What if Mya's right? What if he can't deal with his feelings, and that's why he acted like that? I lay in bed for a while before I fall asleep. I have to put my life back together. If I want to go to Paris, I need to fight for it, and if I want to be with Aiden, I need to fight for him. I can't let some so-called friend dictate my future.

  * * *

  "Aunt Ewin, let's play princess again," Kylie whines. I've been playing princess with Kylie since I arrived at my mom's house for dinner, and that's okay because truthfully I'd rather play with kids all night than deal with my mother and the third degree of my life. I pick at my food while my brother tells some boring story about one of his recent cases.

  After dinner, I'm helping with the dishes when my mom stops drying dishes and gives me a funny look.

  "What's wrong, Erin?"

  I put a few bowls away in the cabinet and drop my head. A tear rolls down my cheek. I try to stop it, but the tears keep coming. I don't remember the last time I've felt so vulnerable in front of my mother.

  "What is it?" She puts her arm around me and leads me to the table. Before I know it, I tell her everything, and I mean everything. It's an explosion of tears and profanity.

  "Hey, Mom…" Eric interrupts. As soon as he sees me, he looks completely taken aback. "Oh, sorry." My mom waves him out of the room and continues to rub my back.

  "I don't understand why you didn't tell me about Aiden. I would have never pushed you to see Will had I known you were already seeing someone."

  Crap. I didn't want this to turn into a discussion about our complicated relationship. We're actually having a mother-daughter bonding moment, and I don't know if I want to ruin it. I put my face in my hands.

  "Erin?" she demands.

  I exhale deeply. "What do you want me to say, Mom?" I start to cry again. "You want me to tell you how much it frustrates me that you're constantly making me feel bad about my life? You want me to tell you that I'm tired of all the blind dates? I've asked you numerous times to stop, and you don't." I'm sobbing again.

  She looks as if I punched her in the face. She can't possibly say that she didn't know how I felt.

  "You're my only daughter," she exclaims. "I have every right to be concerned about your future."

  I throw my head back in frustration. Is she even listening to a word I'm saying? I want to go home.

  "Okay, Mom." I know well enough by now to just let it go because I don't stand a chance of winning this argument. "I really don't feel well. I need to go home."

  * * *

  A few days later, I'm sitting in Chelsie's office waiting for Katie from HR to arrive. Apparently, a decision has been made about whether or not I will be spending five weeks at Bleu Amour. I tried to get some information out of Chelsie, but she's not saying a word.

  "None of this even matters anyway," I tell her. "Aiden and I are no longer seeing each other."

  Just then, Katie rushes into the office. "I'm sorry I'm late, but today is not my day. There are issues popping up everywhere." She continues to ramble on while my future is hanging on by a thread. Okay, so that was a little overdramatic, but it is what it is.

  Chelsie clears her throat. "Katie, I have a packed schedule today. Can we get to this matter, please?" She points at me, and I nod my head.

  "Of course." She laughs.

  Hah. I'm so glad she can laugh while I'm sitting here sweating.

  "Okay, so the situation has been discussed, and after much consideration, I'm afraid we have to rescind the offer that was made to you. It turns out there were several candidates who felt that your involvement with a member of the interview panel is a conflict of interest. Therefore—"

  "But Aiden and I are no longer involved," I interrupt. This can't be happening. I feel sick to my stomach.

  Katie continues, "I'm sorry, Erin. Please do understand that you're still a very valuable member of this team, and your position here is one hundred percent safe. However, at this time, you will not be working with Bleu Amour. The only other option would be for us to start the interview process all over again, and we don't have the time to do that."

  Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry.

  I swallow hard. "Thank you, Katie."

  I get up to leave because I don't have the energy to fight this. Before I leave, I hear Chelsie ask if they've selected someone to go in my place. She tells her that they will have a decision within the next day. I hold my head up high and return to my desk. Truthfully, I'm not that surprised. I never felt like this opportunity was really mine. I guess it was never meant to be.

  "There you are," Bre says. "I thought you fell off the face of the earth. You never miss work. What's your deal?"

  "I've been sick," I tell her. This is not a lie because I have been sick—sick to my stomach. Aly gets up and walks toward the elevator, completely ignoring us. She must be mad from when Aiden told her that I accused her of blabbing. Honestly, I don't know if she's guilty. I don't know anything anymore, being that my life is in shambles.

  "It looks like things are moving along well with Harry?" I ask her, pointing to the pictures on her desk.

  She smiles. "Well, things were going really good, but he's been traveling for work, so I haven't gotten to spend much time with him lately." She pulls her chair closer to me and leans in to tell me something. "You're not going to believe this, but Harry is actually really successful. I'm talking C-level VIP."

  "I know," I tell her. "Aiden told me a while ago."

  She looks horrified. "What? Why didn't you tell me?"

  I rub my temples vigorously. "Because it wasn't my place to tell."

  She gives me a strange look. "Whatever. What's the deal with Aiden anyway?"

  I'm surprised she doesn't know. Bre is usually on top of all the gossip in the office. I assumed that enough people were talking about it by now. Not to mention she has framed pictures of his brother all over her desk.

  "There is no deal with Aiden," I snap. "It just didn't work out, and I'd rather not talk about it, if that's okay."

  Bre looks shocked. "Okay, but I don't get it. You two are meant for each other, so whatever the latest childish issue is, you need to just get over it."

  She turns
her back to me and immediately gets on her phone. Whatever. Considering how self-involved Bre is, I'm surprised she's even this interested in my life. When I go to the restroom, I look at my reflection in the mirror, and I look absolutely horrible. What's happening to me? I'm letting myself fall apart over a guy, and why? Aiden and I weren't even together that long. So why is this so hard for me? I sit on the counter in the restroom and contemplate going home early again. I lose track of time playing on my phone.

  "Hey, Erin." Kimmy walks in and sees me sitting on the counter. I'm sure she will run and tell everyone that I'm losing it.

  "Can you believe that about Bre?" she asks while she reapplies her lipstick. "She totally lucked out, but then again, she always manages to find a way to come out on top."

  I have no idea what she's talking about, and I really don't care.

  "I haven't heard anything about Bre," I say flatly. Her expression says it all—whatever she's talking about is a big deal. Now my curiosity is growing.

  "What about her?"

  She hesitates for a few seconds. "Bre's going to Paris. She just found out."

  Am I hallucinating, or did she say that Bre's going to Paris? That means she got my position. I don't believe this. There were people who were much more deserving than her.

  "Erin?" Kimmy asks, waving her hand in front of me.

  "Sorry. I'm just a little out of it today," I tell her.

  She gives me a concerned smile and pats my arm. "I can imagine. You must have been devastated to have that opportunity ripped away from you. I guess it's better that I wasn't chosen from the get-go. That would be terrible to have it one minute and then have it gone. But, on the bright side, I'm glad you will be here with me."

  Seriously, will she ever stop talking?

  "Um, thanks."

  She heads for the door but turns around before she leaves. "You know, at first I was upset when I didn't get the position, but after thinking about it, I bet we have even more possibilities if we stay. It's going to be okay." She gives me a warm smile and leaves.

  I decide to work from home for the rest of the day. I have to think everything through. What if I've been completely wrong about everything? Perhaps it was Bre all along? I guess I just didn't want to face this possibility. Wow, I'm so confused. I have to talk to Chelsie to see if she found out any information. Of course, if someone did this anonymously, then how am I supposed to ever know the truth? And maybe that would be a good thing. I need to fix things, at least with Aiden. My heart is racing, and my hands start to shake as I reach for my phone.