Struggle to Forever: a friends to lovers duet

by Lilliana Anderson

  “Do you want me to show you again?” I whisper, gasping as he pushes himself against me once more.

  “Hell yeah.” He grins, eyes twinkling as he rolls onto his back, still holding me against him. I make a big show of sliding down his body, undoing his pants slowly before releasing his erection, gliding my hand up and down his smooth shaft before lowering my mouth.

  “No yelling,” I tease, before taking him in my mouth and slowly drawing him in.

  Twenty-Three

  Paige

  “You seem much happier these past couple of weeks,” Andrea comments during the afternoon lull in the salon. “You and Elliot must be getting along well then?”

  “Are we ever,” I reply, attempting to keep the ear to ear grin to myself as I put the kettle on to make us both a tea. I can’t help but gush a little about how great things have been since we moved into the room in the flat together.

  “Oh, I want an Elliot too,” she sighs, accepting the mug as I hand it to her. “Are you doing anything special this weekend?” she asks. “It’s not long until he has to go home is it?”

  My mood plummets as I’m reminded that our time is almost over. “He’s going home in a week, actually. So, I’ve planned a great weekend at a B and B in Lyme Regis. It looks amazing,” I tell her as brightly as I can.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, honey. I didn’t realise he’s leaving that soon,” she sympathises, sipping her tea and watching me with interest.

  “It’s fine, Andrea. We both knew this was coming. We’ve been trying to have fun while we can, instead of worrying about what will happen when he goes. I’ve been refusing to talk about it.”

  “But you have to face it soon. There’s only one week.”

  “Maybe we’ll discuss it on Monday. But for this weekend—our last weekend—I need to keep it fun.”

  “If you’re going to a B and B, I can bet it’ll be a whole lot of fun.” She laughs, winking at me suggestively.

  I feel the heat rise in my cheeks as I return her laughter while images of Elliot in bed flick through my mind, warming my core. Out of all the men I’ve slept with in my time, he's by far the best. I don’t know if it’s his technique or if it’s because of our connection. But, I crave him.

  Our last weekend together is going to be amazing, I won’t accept anything less.

  Elliot

  After leaving the flat early Saturday morning, I drive Paige’s newly acquired car to the bed-and-breakfast she picked out for us to spend a night at. It takes us nearly three hours to get there, and after listening to the Jebediah disc for the second time through, Paige switches to the radio and tunes it into her phone so we spend the rest of the trip listening to 90s alternative rock. She’s got a great voice as she sings along, knowing the lyrics to every song. I’m surprised at how many songs I also know the lyrics to, like Radiohead’s Creep and Powderfinger’s Passenger.

  “Almost there,” I say, as I turn onto the road that leads up to where we’re staying.

  “I can’t wait.” Paige grins, wriggling happily in her seat. “My arse is so numb, I can’t wait to stretch my legs.”

  “We could have stopped, you know,” I point out.

  “I know, but I want to spend all of our time here. It's beautiful isn’t it?” she gushes.

  And as I pull the car into a parking space outside the bed-and-breakfast, I’m inclined to agree.

  “Wow.” I look up at the grand building, rendered a sandy colour and set in the most idyllic coastal setting. We climb out of the car and stretch as we look around at the storybook English gardens, and the view that continues uninterrupted over rolling hills and all the way to the sea.

  Taking a deep breath, I fill my lungs. I don’t think I have ever had such clean air in my chest in my entire life.

  “This is amazing.” Paige smiles as she spins in a slow circle, taking in her surroundings.

  I open the boot and take out our suitcase, waiting for her to join me so I can wrap my arm around her waist and walk inside together.

  There’s a small woman with brown curly hair waiting for us when we enter. She introduces herself as Beattie and shows us upstairs to our room. Walking ahead, she chats away about what time breakfast is served, and where they get all of their produce from. I stop listening when she opens the door to our room, and I’m faced with this giant iron bed, covered in white pillows and a pale green quilt. I want nothing more than to flop down on top of it. Sleeping on two single beds pushed together hasn’t been the most comfortable experience of my adult life, so paying as much as we are for this weekend seems totally worth it for the bed alone.

  Paige

  I can’t help but smile as I see the way Elliot is looking at the bed. I half expect him to lift off the floor and float toward it on a cloud of desire. I can’t wait to lie on it either. It looks like heaven.

  “I’ll just leave you both to get settled then,” Beattie says, as she lays some pamphlets on a little table by the door and closes it softly behind her.

  Elliot looks at me and grins then drops our bag and somehow manages to go from standing next to me to lying on the bed before I’ve had the chance to blink twice.

  “Oh my god. This is amazing,” he moans. “I have missed having a decent mattress sooooo much.”

  “I’ve never had a great mattress, but I agree. This bed is divine,” I say as I climb on the bed and lie next to him.

  Resting my head on his chest, we lie together quietly. I run my fingers gently up and down his side while he plays with my hair. It feels so nice that my hand slowly stills, and I drift off to sleep.

  Elliot

  “Thanks so much for organising this weekend,” I say after a while. No response. “Paige?” When I lift my head, she stirs a little, shifting even closer to me in her sleep.

  I'm filled with so much emotion that it takes extra long for me to exhale. I want to tell her I love her this weekend. But, I don’t want her to think I’m only doing it because I’m about to go and there’s no real consequence to me saying it. I want her to know that I want to be with her. I want her to know that if she doesn’t want to return to Australia, then I want to come back to her as soon as I can get a new working Visa.

  There’s so much we need to say, but it’s hard finding the right time to say it. We both agreed not to talk about what will happen when I leave, but my leaving is just around the corner. We have to face it sometime.

  After a while, I close my eyes too, drifting off with her in my arms. I’m fully aware that this is one less time I’ll get to do it. Unless she agrees to come home with me.

  Paige

  It’s almost dark when I wake up, still wrapped around Elliot. I love having my head on his chest, listening to his deep rhythmic breathing as he sleeps. I tilt my head up and kiss his jawline. He never shaves on the weekends and after a full day, he almost has a beard.

  “Hey, baby,” I coo at him to rouse him awake.

  His eyes flutter open, and he looks down at me smiling. “Hey, what time is it?” he croaks, taking a deep breath as he stretches his body out to wake himself fully.

  “Almost 5:30,” I tell him softly. “You want to get some dinner?”

  Springing to life, he rolls on top of me, sending excited butterflies dancing through my body as he kisses me passionately. “I’d rather stay here and feed off you,” he murmurs, slowly undoing the buttons on my shirt as he trails kisses down my chest until he reaches the apex of my cleavage. He flicks his tongue against my skin while his hand cups my breast, squeezing it as I gasp, arching myself beneath him. Pulling the lace of my bra to the side, he kneads my flesh and swirls his tongue over my already erect nipple. I pull at his shirt as he works me into a frenzy while he worships my breasts, crying out in loss when he moves his mouth back up to my neck and buttons up my shirt one handed.

  “But I think we’ll need food,” he murmurs against my skin. “I’m planning on keeping you up all night.”

  Shivers run through me as I think about what’s in store lat
er. Then I watch him stand and lie there immobile, a quivering mess after being worked up moments before. Holding out his hand, he pulls me up off the bed, kissing me once more before tugging me towards the door to go in search of somewhere to eat.

  He holds the door of the car open for me, his eyes dark and seductive as he watches my movement. A groan escapes his mouth as I slide my hand down his body as I enter the car—I may or may not have let my hand trail over what felt like a very firm rod in his pants—grinning wickedly at him.

  “Cheeky.” He chuckles as he adjusts himself slightly and closes the door, walking calmly over to the driver’s side to slide behind the wheel. “Do you know what you want to eat?” he asks, reversing us out of our parking space and pulling onto the road.

  “Well, I did, but you put a stop to that.” I pout, earning myself a beautiful grin in response.

  “We’ll just see what we find then, huh?”

  “Can’t we skip dinner and just go back? Finish what you started?”

  “What I started? Paige, you started this whole thing the moment you laid those gorgeous amber eyes on me in the plane. I haven't stopped wanting you for a moment since.”

  “Amber eyes, huh? I’ve never thought of them like that. You were pretty hot on the plane yourself, you know,” I admit.

  “Yeah? Well, you were pretty indifferent for a girl who thought I was hot.”

  “Indifference and disinterest are two very different things, Elliot.”

  “Care to elaborate on that?” He flicks me a glance as he concentrates on the road. I feel like saying ‘not really’, but I find myself answering his question instead.

  “I’d been on my own for a long-time, and I’d given up on men way before then. I didn’t think I could ever have something like this, someone like you.” I smile as I study his profile. “I guess I wasn’t letting myself look at you like that.”

  He pulls the car into a parking space outside a restaurant that’s overlooking the water, but we don’t get out. We sit and study each other for a moment instead. I can see the questions running through his mind and hold my breath while I wait to see what he says next. I think I just shared too much information, and I’m not sure what he picked up on.

  “I’m glad you gave us a chance then,” he says finally, surprising me by not pushing for more answers. “Come on, let’s go eat.” He tilts his head towards the restaurant as he opens his door, unfolding his long lean body before walking around to my door to help me out.

  “Thank you,” I say, taking his hand. I can see a small sparkle in his eyes as he smiles down at me, and I’m reminded of the plane when he held his hand out to steady me, but I refused to take it.

  Slipping my arms around his neck, I rise on my tiptoes and press my lips against his, breathing him in deeply as his mouth responds to mine, kissing me fervently, his arms wrapping tightly around me as he pulls me against him.

  Humming as I pull away, I run my fingers through his growing hair as I gaze into his eyes. “Thank you for not giving up on me,” I murmur softly.

  “You’re worth it,” he says, smiling as he pulls me close to him and guides me into the restaurant. The moment the doors open, the smell of cooked fish and vegetables collide with my nose, and I'm suddenly starving.

  We both select the catch of the day, served on a bed of steamed vegetables, drizzled with a lemon and dill sauce. Each mouthful is amazing as we talk easily with each other about anything and everything, being careful to avoid any more relationship talk, both knowing we were straying a little too close to talking about his leaving. We can’t let his imminent departure ruin what little time we have left.

  After dinner, we take a walk along The Cobb; this big brick ocean wall that stretches out into the sea like a pier. Huddling together as the cold wind comes off the water. It whips my hair about so it attacks us both in the face.

  Laughing I twist it with my hand and try to hold it to one side. “Don’t look in my eyes. I think I just became Medusa,” I joke as wisps break free and blow straight back into Elliot’s face.

  He takes hold of my shoulders and guides me so I’m standing with the wind blowing towards me. “Then I’ll turn to stone,” he says seriously, as he stares into my eyes. Then he captures my mouth in his, sliding his tongue against my own as my toes curl from the electricity that courses through my body each time we connect.

  “What did I ever do to deserve you?” I ask, filled with complete wonder over the man who compliments me so thoroughly.

  “Just lucky I guess.” He smiles. “We need photos,” he tells me, pulling his phone from his pocket and readying the camera.

  We lean into each other, smiling as he holds the phone out, snapping picture after picture as we smile, kiss and laugh. As he scrolls through the photos, and we admire his handiwork, it’s hard to ignore that voice inside that’s telling me these photos are to remember our last weekend together. This is it. There won’t be any more.

  Elliot

  Returning to the B&B, our car trip is virtually silent as we both become lost in our own thoughts. Gone is the playfulness we started with before dinner. Instead, there’s this elephant hanging around, refusing to be spoken about.

  As soon as we shut the door to the room, Paige flings herself against me and wraps her arms tightly around me as she buries her face in my chest, her breath shaky as she sighs against me. I wrap my arms around her body and plant a soft kiss on the top of her head, letting out a long sigh myself.

  “What are we going to do, Paige?” I venture.

  Lifting her head, her eyes swim with tears and worry she’s refusing to let go of. “Make love,” she answers, stepping away from me and slowly undoing the buttons of her shirt while at the same time kicking off her shoes.

  “All right.” Who could refuse a beautiful girl asking you to love her with your body?

  “Sit down,” she instructs, indicating the bed with a nod of her head. I do as I’m told and sit there watching as she shimmies out of her three-quarter pants and steps towards me, still wearing her unbuttoned shirt but giving me glimpses of a matching set of purple lingerie.

  “Is this new?” I ask, as she lets her shirt drop down her arms, stepping within my grasp. Reaching out, I hook my finger in the middle of her bra, pulling her towards me and sliding my hands over the purple, lace edged, silk that’s cupping her breasts.

  “You like it?” she rests her hands on my shoulders as I bury my face in the soft flesh of her chest.

  “I do,” I say, reaching my hands behind her back to unhook her bra. “Now I want you to take them off.”

  Paige

  A bolt of arousal shoots down my body and straight between my legs at his gruff tone. His eyes darken, like a turbulent sea, as he watches me slowly peel the lace-edged silk away from my body, leaving them by my feet on the floor.

  Catching me by the hand, he pulls me swiftly towards him, flipping me on the bed and holding himself over me, trailing his fingers along my curves as he brushes his lips against mine, his tongue embarking on a slow languid exploration of my mouth.

  When his hand reaches my hip, he pulls my body closer to his, fitting me up against him as his fingers continue to trail down the length of my leg, resting behind my knee and guiding me so I’m wrapped around him.

  “God, I’m going to miss touching you,” he breathes as his kisses stray along my jaw and down the curve of my neck.

  “Don’t talk about it please,” I stress on a gasp as his hand finds my breasts, kneading at my tender flesh as his mouth closes over the nipple of the other, sucking it to a point as I moan, pulling at his shirt, desperate for the feel of his skin against my own. “Take it all off.” I undo the button on his fly as he sits back to remove his shirt.

  Dropping his clothes at the foot of the bed, he reaches out and grabs my legs, dragging my body down the bed until I’m open and exposed, quivering as I wait for his touch as he settles himself between my legs.

  His breath is warm and feathery as his mouth nears m
y most sensitive spot. I whimper in anticipation, rolling my hips up towards him. He’s teasing me.

  “Please,” I beg, aching for his touch.

  “Give me your hand,” he says, sliding his fingers around my opening as he distributes my wetness around me, dancing around my clit with his fingertips, causing it to throb even more.

  I give him my hand, and he guides me between my legs. “Together,” he says, inserting his fingers between my folds as I circle my clit, moaning and rocking my hips upward as we work. He plants soft kisses on my inner thighs as he watches, humming his pleasure as his fingers curl inside me, massaging my core and bringing me ever closer to bursting point.

  “You want more?” he asks, gently easing a third finger into my opening.

  “Oh yes,” I cry, rocking my hips harder against his hand. The sensation is too much for me to bear, and I cry out trying to keep my own hand moving as I spasm around his hand. Nudging my hand out of the way, he takes my clit into his mouth, sucking at it and swirling his tongue as I writhe underneath him, screaming out and pulling on his hair.

  Suddenly, it all becomes too much, and I lock my foot against his shoulder pushing him hard as I scoot up the bed and away from his grasp. He’s back up on the bed in seconds, holding himself above and grinning as he looks down at me, nudging between my legs with his erection.

  “Had enough?” he asks, his eyes dark and playful.

  “Never,” I pant out as he crashes his mouth into mine and reaches his hand out for a condom from the bedside drawer. Separating briefly to apply it, he returns immediately, reconnecting our mouths before slamming into me, filling me with his intensity as we beat our hips together, kissing and moaning, pulling at each other’s bodies in a sweaty dance filled with all the feelings unspoken between us. We pound into each other again and again until we’re both calling out, shuddering together, before collapsing in each other’s arms, gasping for breath but refusing to let go.