by Devney Perry
“I think so too.” Felicity smiled and turned her eyes to her daughter, touching the tip of Victoria’s tiny nose.
“I can’t wait to hold her,” I said. “How are you doing?”
Felicity looked back to the camera and sighed. “I’m tired. She came pretty quickly and I’m worn out.”
“She did awesome,” Silas said in the background.
“Of course she did. Is everyone healthy?”
She nodded. “We’re all perfect.”
“Oh, good. I wish I were there to give you both a hug.”
“Me too,” Felicity said. “Come and visit us soon?”
“Very soon.” When Victoria squeaked, I took it as my cue to say good-bye. “I’ll let you go. Thanks for calling me. Will you send me pictures?”
Felicity nodded and smiled. “Prepare to be flooded. I’ve taken about a hundred in the last three hours. Once we get home and settled, I’ll call you.”
“Okay. Congratulations. I’m so happy for you.”
“Thanks. It’s been a day I’ll never forget.” The joy on her face was something I’d never forget.
Silas joined the shot and kissed Felicity’s cheek.
“Congratulations to you too, Daddy. You guys take care.” I waved and smiled, then ended the call. When I turned back to the living room, I was met with more smiling faces.
“That’s so exciting!” Mom said. “I hope Kameron or Kellan has a sweet baby girl.”
My phone started to ding as the flood of promised pictures started coming through.
“Let’s see those baby pictures,” Dad said.
I immediately went for my phone, not needing any encouragement to thumb through pictures. With me in the middle of the couch, Henry on one side and Mom and Dad on the other, I started swiping and saving pictures.
“Oh, she’s beautiful,” Mom said, “and Felicity looks amazing. You’d never guess she just had a baby.”
I smiled. “If I didn’t love her so much, I’d hate her for being so photogenic. It’s not fair.”
Henry scoffed. “Says the woman who had my entire team begging to be put on Sabrina duty.”
I blushed and swiped through more photos, pointing out the people that I knew and guessing at those I didn’t. When I got to the last picture, my smile fell and my fingers froze.
Felicity had sent me a picture of Beau and Victoria.
Beau was standing, smiling down at the baby, as his massive arms cradled her tight. His hair was longer underneath his baseball cap, its ends curling up at his neck. The skin at his forearms and cheeks was tanner than when he’d been here weeks ago. He looked so perfect with that baby I could hardly breathe. His expression was so soft and loving, it was hard to believe that little girl wasn’t his own.
“Who’s that?” Dad asked.
I forced my eyes away from the picture and swallowed the lump in my throat. “That’s Beau.”
“Oh.” Mom gave me a sad smile and patted my hand. “I’ll get us more wine. Henry?”
“No, thank you,” he said. “I should probably get going. Thank you for a wonderful dinner.”
“I’m so glad you could join us,” Dad said. “It was a pleasure meeting you.”
“Same to you.”
We all stood from the couch. Mom and Dad shook Henry’s hand, then Mom went to get more wine and Dad slipped into my room for an early bedtime.
“Thanks for coming over tonight,” I said. “It was nice to see you.”
“You too.”
I walked him to the door, but before he could leave, I called his name. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why did you call Felicity the night I killed Anton?” I had replayed that night a hundred times, and with every rewind, I wondered why he’d called Felicity instead of my parents.
He sighed. “Because I didn’t want you to have to tell her what had happened.”
“Right,” I said, though I was still confused. Why hadn’t he done the same with my parents? Having to explain everything to them had been awful. Before I could ask, he answered my question.
“And I knew Felicity would call Holt and he’d come to you.”
“You did? How?”
“Because that man loves you, Sabrina. Which is why I’m surprised he isn’t here.”
Beau loved me? Then why wasn’t he here with me? Why had he left weeks ago without a trace?
Curses.
Because I’d pushed him away.
I was such a fucking moron.
Henry chuckled. “I can see you’ve got a few gears turning. I’ll say good night.”
“Oh, sorry,” I said, snapping out of my head. “Thanks again for stopping by.”
He bent to kiss my cheek. “Good-bye, Sabrina.”
“Bye, Henry.”
When the door clicked shut, my hands immediately went into my hair.
“Uh-oh,” Mom said when I walked back into the living room.
“I messed up.” I sank onto the couch and pressed a pillow over my face.
She jerked the pillow away and handed me my wine instead. “Would you like to talk about it?”
I nodded and took a healthy gulp. I had told my parents about Beau and my time at the outpost but I’d kept it fairly vague and PG-rated for my dad. Now that it was just me and Mom, I spent the next hour giving her the full story, all the way from meeting Beau in Silas’s kitchen to the bomb Henry had just dropped.
“There. That’s the whole story. You don’t need to read my next novel because I basically just recited it for you, except I gave my characters a happy ending.”
She laughed. “I’m glad you shared with me, dear.”
“Me too.” I was still upset but it had helped to talk it over, especially with Mom. “I’m glad we’re closer these days,” I admitted. “I’ve really missed you and Dad. Kameron and Kellan too.”
“You have no idea how happy that makes me.” She sniffled and wiped a tear from her wet eyes. “I hate all of the bad things that happened to you over the last year but I can’t regret them. When Janessa died, you built these walls to shut everyone out. I think it was your way of keeping your heart from being broken. Nothing we did could get through. I’m just so glad to see you’re starting to take those walls down.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. You were so young and what happened with Janessa was so traumatic. She was the Kameron to your Kellan back then. I just wish we had known what to do to keep you from pulling away.”
“I don’t know if there was anything you could have done.” They had always been there for me; I just hadn’t let them in.
“Most of the time, I don’t even think you know you’re pushing us away. So many people love you and want to be close to you, Sabrina. You just don’t always let them. The only person I’ve seen you really let in since high school is Felicity.”
And Beau. Being with him at the outpost, stripping away all of my comforts, he had opened my heart. He had broken through my walls and helped set me free.
“I don’t want to shut people out anymore,” I whispered.
She reached out and grabbed my hand. “Then don’t. You can’t let what happened with Janessa all those years ago define how you’re going to build relationships. Your guard isn’t just keeping out the bad. You’re blocking the good too.”
“Why do you think she killed herself?” Never, not once had I asked that question.
Janessa had left a note for her parents but no one had ever told me what she’d written, and I’d been so angry with her at the time, I hadn’t wanted to hear any excuses.
Mom pushed out a deep breath. “She was pregnant.”
My jaw fell open. “Pregnant? We pinkie promised to stay virgins until college. And she didn’t just kill herself but her baby too? I can’t—” I took a long breath and stopped my rant. “Never mind. Getting all worked up isn’t going to bring her back.”
“No, it’s not.”
I shook my head
, dumbfounded at her choice. “I wish she hadn’t been able to buy that gun.”
“Is that why you went after the Federovs?”
I nodded. “Kids shouldn’t be able to buy illegal guns off the street. Without that pistol, she would have had to commit suicide some other way. If she’d taken pills or even cut her wrists, I might have been able to save her, Mom. I could have gotten there in time.”
“No, dear. You wouldn’t have. She had been dead for hours by the time you got there. No matter what, there was nothing you could have done.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“Oh, Sabrina.” Her head fell. “I wish I had known you felt this way. I should have forced you to talk about this a long time ago.”
I shook my head, sending a couple of tears down my cheeks. “I probably wouldn’t have listened but I’m glad you told me. Now I can let it go.”
We sat together in silence, holding hands and finishing our wine until she gave my fingers one last squeeze and stood from the couch. “I’d better get to bed. We can talk more tomorrow if you’d like.”
“Okay. Thanks, Mom.”
I was emotionally drained but doubted I’d sleep much. Instead, I’d be thinking about the serious life changes I was going to make, starting tomorrow.
No more pushing people away. I was done working from sunrise to sunset and most of the hours in between. I was done using sex as a way to keep men at a distance. I was done living a solitary existence.
I wanted to be close to my family. I wanted to build lifelong friendships. I wanted to surround myself with people who loved me unconditionally.
“Mom?” I called before she could slip into the bedroom.
“Yes?”
“I think I’m going to move home.”
“Miss Sabrina,” my doorman answered the phone.
I smiled. “Hi, Tim.”
I always smiled when I talked to Tim. He was more like an uncle than a doorman. At nearly sixty-five, he had been in this building long before I’d moved in and he’d be here long after. This place had become a part of his soul just like the outpost had imprinted on mine.
“What can I do for you today?” he asked.
“I wanted to let you know that my movers should be here within the hour. You can just send them up when they arrive.”
“I’ll see to it but are you sure that you really want to move? It’s a long way away.”
I smiled wider. “I’m sure.”
For the last two weeks, Tim had been relentlessly trying to convince me to stay in Seattle. He’d written me a note that summarized all the negatives of moving. Every time I came in or went out, he’d remind me of all the wonderful things about the city. He’d even had my favorite Thai food delivered one evening with a red circle on the attached menu showing its Washington-only locations.
“All right,” he muttered. “I’ll expect you to come back and visit.”
“You can count on it. Thanks, Tim.” I hung up and swiped through my contacts, pressing Felicity’s name next.
“Hey, hold on one sec,” she answered. In the background, baby Victoria was wailing like a banshee. A door clicked shut and Felicity sighed. “There.”
“Um, maybe you should call me back. Don’t you need to get her?”
“She’s fine. Silas is with her.”
“Is everything okay?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.” Her voice cracked as she started crying. “We’re trying to get her to drink from a bottle so that Silas can get up with her at night too. My nipples need a break and I am just so tired. I’ve barely slept in two weeks.”
“It will get better. I promise.” I had no idea what else to say to a new mother.
She sniffled. “You’re right. I keep telling myself that too, but it’s just been a rough couple of weeks.”
“Hang in there. She’ll probably be sleeping through the night by the time she goes to college.”
“God, I hope so.” Felicity laughed and sniffled again. “How’s the packing going?”
“All done. The movers should be here soon and my car is all loaded up with the stuff I’m hauling myself, so as soon as they’re finished, I’m out of here. Good-bye Seattle.”
“It’s a long drive so please be careful and call me if you get tired. No matter what time it is, I’m sure I’ll be awake. Victoria and I can keep you company.”
“Sounds good.”
“Good luck today.”
I smiled. “Thanks. Give my girl a hug and a kiss for me.”
“I will. I’d better go rescue Silas.” The sound of Victoria’s screaming got louder as Felicity went back to the nursery.
“Okay. Bye.”
Tossing my phone on the couch, I scanned the stacks of boxes in my living room. My movers would be packing up the rest of the apartment but these boxes were all going to charity along with most of my furniture. Where I was going, I didn’t need a bed, couches or chairs.
Beau’s house already had it all.
Felicity thought my plan to show up on Beau’s doorstep tonight was romantic. I’d thought so too, at first, but now I was starting to think it was foolish and impulsive. What if he turned me away? Or worse, what if he was with another woman when I showed up?
The thought made me nauseous so I went to the kitchen to get some water.
Chugging it down, I willed myself to stay positive.
Besides, it was too late to change my plans now. For Beau, I’d take the risk. He deserved to see how far I was willing to go to keep him in my life. He deserved this grand gesture.
With nothing left to do but wait for the movers, I stood by a window and took a few moments to appreciate the city. The street below was bustling with cars and people walking by. The tower across the street was mostly office space, people working away at their desks. There would certainly be things I’d miss about Seattle, but mostly, I was glad to be going home.
Even though I’d only spent a few days in the actual town of Prescott, I knew without a doubt it was the place for me. Montana had won my heart.
Just like Beau had.
The nervous energy in my stomach swelled when a knock sounded at the door.
This was it. I’d spend the morning hours watching the movers wrap and box my belongings and then I was leaving. I’d lock up and give Tim my keys. By this time next week, this place would be home to someone new. I just hoped that during their residence here, it included far fewer traumatic moments.
I rushed to the door, forgoing a check at the peephole, and swung it open wide, smiling and ready to greet my moving crew.
But my movers weren’t on the other side of the door.
Beau was.
My smile dropped and I gaped at him, using the door to balance my swaying feet.
“Hi.” One hand was in his jeans pocket and the other was holding a small black bag. His jeans were newer, not the faded and worn pairs he usually wore and he’d traded his normal plain T-shirt for a deep green button down with rolled up sleeves.
He was breathtaking.
This rugged, sexy mountain man was every one of my lost hopes and forgotten dreams come true.
The shock of seeing him finally wore off and I found my voice. “Hello.” I wanted to scream and jump into his arms, to kiss his face a million times, but first, I wanted to know why he was here. “Would you like to come in?”
“No.” He shook his head and dropped his bag so his hand could stroke his beard. “I want to say a few things before I come in.”
“Okay.” The excitement I’d felt a moment ago was now tied in an anxious knot.
He sucked in a long breath before launching right into his speech. “When you left, you said you didn’t belong.”
“Beau, I—”
“Please, let me get this out.”
I nodded and whispered, “Okay.”
“You belong right here.” He held out his arms, making a circle in the space between them. “You belong with me. Right here. No matter where we live, whether it’s Montana,
Seattle or Timbuktu, this is where you belong.”
My breath hitched and my heart started racing. Was this really happening? He’d really come for me?
He’d come for me.
He was willing to give up his home, the town he loved and being close to his family, Coby, just to be with me. Any doubts I’d had over the past two weeks vanished. Henry had been right. This man loved me completely.
I opened my mouth to tell him that I was moving to Prescott but the stairwell door flew open with a loud bang and I flinched.
“Oh, Sabrina,” my neighbor sneered. I’d nicknamed him The SOB in 5-1-3. “Don’t tell me we’re back to having federal agents roam our hall.” He eyed Beau up and down.
I shook my head. “No. No federal agents. Excuse us, we’ll go inside.”
I wouldn’t miss this guy when I moved.
“Should I expect to hear gunshots later?”
Asshole.
I wasn’t the only one who thought that was a rude question. Beau did his jungle growl and turned to loom over my young, arrogant neighbor. SOB’s face paled when he realized he’d gone too far.
With clenched fists, Beau ordered, “Go.”
SOB scurried to his door down one from mine, fumbling with the keys as he cowered away from Beau.
The second his door clicked shut, I started giggling. SOB had completely ruined our moment but I did love how Beau was first and foremost my protector. “Come inside.” I reached out to tug Beau’s hand.
He grabbed his bag, then walked past me and down the hall. I dragged in a huge whiff of his amazing pine smell as I closed the door and followed him inside. When I got to the living room, he was staring at the boxes stacked on my couch with his hands planted on his hips. “What’s all this?”
“I’m moving. Those are the boxes going to charity along with my furniture.”
“You’re moving?”
“Yep. The movers should be here soon.”
He ran a hand over his beard as he walked to the windows on the far side of my apartment. “Where are you going?” he asked the glass.
The smile I’d been fighting let loose. “Montana.”
Beau spun around, his eyes wide.
“You kind of stole my sunshine here, Goliath. I was going to show up at your house tonight and ask if you felt like having some company.”
