by J. K. Rock
My face heated at the compliment, and I traced patterns in the beach sand with my toe. It was one thing to hear kind words from a stranger, but to know that my mother believed it, too. Wow.
“The director promised to contact the school and get back to me. There aren’t any guarantees, of course. But there’s a chance she can help you get in if you would like to attend.”
The words blew me away. The idea floored me. But Mom’s strained face yanked me back to reality. If I didn’t go to the boarding school, then I should stay with her. “I want to be with you. Help you.”
Mom stroked my hair absently. Tonight was the most we’d touched since our obligatory Christmas photos last December. I’d missed this contact. Hadn’t realized how much until now. “Alex, seeing you happy does help me. And besides, one of the jobs I’ve applied for is in Manhattan working to match disadvantaged women with careers.”
I pulled back and studied her. “Isn’t that your charity?”
Her mouth quirked. “Yep.”
“So you’d be hiring yourself?”
“If the board agrees.”
The joy of new possibilities streaked through me. “We’ll make them. You’ve done a lot for them. And if I get into the performing arts school, we can get an apartment. Personally, I like SoHo, but I heard the Meat Packing District is really trendy and—”
Mom held up a hand. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Lots to figure out before then. I’m glad you’re staying here for the second half of the summer while I get things settled. I just feel bad that Javier can’t stay, too.”
I startled, stunned she’d remembered him and his situation. So much had changed in my life, but everything was the same for him. He’d still leave camp the day after tomorrow to start over in a group foster home.
“It’s not fair. Javier’s tried so hard to be there for his mom. And he’s smart and a really good cook, and now he’ll be stuck in a group home without his family. With no options.”
Mom pulled my head down to her shoulder and rested her chin on top of it. “Maybe there’s more in store for him than you think.”
Alex
Free period the next day felt like a death sentence. I lay on my back with my feet propped on the wall behind Jackie’s bunk, my hair dangling over the edge of her mattress. In just a few hours, I’d deliver my speech to the girls who’d signed up for Emily’s class, and I still had no clue what to say.
“Hey, isn’t that another Secret Camp Angel gift?” Yasmine pointed to a small, tissue-wrapped object peeking out from my pillow. She sprayed something floral around her neck, transforming our musty cabin into a tropical garden.
“Probably.” I rolled over on my stomach and dropped my head in my hands. My after-dinner talk was going to be an epic fail. What did I have to say to girls about growing up and becoming mature? Like my parents had written, I was the cautionary tale, the girl who wandered into the witch’s candy house or fell asleep in bears’ beds. Sure I’d learned a lot lately. But with Javier leaving, it felt like too little, too late.
“Aren’t you going to open it?” Jackie’s bunk squeaked when Piper jumped on beside me.
Something weighty dropped in my lap. Would this be an insult masquerading as a gift? Or had my Not-So-Secret Camp Angel decided to take it easy on me?
Yasmine’s expression gave nothing away.
“Come on, Alex. Open it.” Jackie scrubbed a towel across her damp head and joined us on her bunk. She’d showered after playing some pick-up basketball.
Bracing myself, I hoped for the best. The tissue paper came free, and a smooth silver pen lay in my hands.
“Ohhh,” the group chorused.
“It’s pretty.” I held up the pen and inspected every angle. Was it booby-trapped or something? Would ink squirt out when I uncapped it? “I guess I could use it to write Javier.”
“You should use it to write your speech.” Yasmine gave me a knowing look, and I couldn’t keep her secret to myself any longer.
“Thank you, Yasmine.” I pointed a finger. “You wouldn’t admit it the other night, but you’re my Secret Camp Angel.”
She smiled and shrugged. “Guilty.”
Emily strolled in, her neon yellow biker shorts brilliant in the sunshine streaming through our screens. “Where did you get that awesome pen?”
I handed it to Emily. She turned it over in her hand, a small smile playing on her fuchsia-coated mouth. “That’s a Waterman pen. My father only used these. They’re French.”
“I gave it to her.” Yasmine smiled. “I’m her Secret Camp Angel.”
Emily handed the pen back. “No wonder Alex’s gifts were so awesome.” She held out a fist to Yasmine. “Way to get in the spirit, home girl.”
“Thanks.” Yasmine fist-bumped her, then made an exploding sound that was so lame even Emily laughed.
“Yeah, thanks, Yasmine.” When I really thought about it, she meant well. “But I still don’t see how it will help me with my speech. I don’t have a clue what to write about.”
“What about the other gifts? You could use them, too.” Siobhan hurried across to my desk area and held up my first gift—A Girl’s Guide to Growing Up. “There are actually plenty of good facts in here.”
She handed it to me, and I flipped a few pages, loving the smell of a new book. I stopped on a chapter entitled “Self-Esteem” and scanned a few paragraphs. It wasn’t all that different than the things my folks wrote about on Wholesome Home, but the tone was less…know-it-all.
Or maybe it just helped that it hadn’t been written by…a parent.
“You’re right. Thanks, Siobhan.” There was a lot of good stuff in here that would help me get a speech started. If only I’d thought to read the darn book before I caused Javier so many problems.
“What about this gift?” Trinity left the bunk and returned with the mirror I’d tossed near my laundry bag.
I peered over her shoulder and caught both of our reflections. Her calm expression didn’t do much to slow my bumping heart. “You don’t need a third eye to see the truth.”
“No,” I sighed and wiped off a mascara smudge with shaking fingers. “Maybe I just needed to open the ones I have.”
A warm hand rubbed my back. “Now that you see,” Yasmine held up the bottle of ear drops she’d given me, “it’s time to listen. We’ll all help with your speech.”
I looked at the circle of smiles surrounding me and felt the first twinge of happiness in days. No matter how much I’d messed up, camp friends were friends for life and would always have my back.
Heart squeezing tight, I leaped into the cluster of my friends, trying to hug everyone at once. We collapsed in a squealing heap. “I owe you guys, big time.”
Piper swiped her hair off her face and straightened. “Can I start?”
I nodded, my heart bursting that they wanted to help me.
She strode over to her bed to retrieve a friendship bracelet she’d been braiding from material scraps she’d found in the arts and crafts room. “My advice is never to be wasteful.”
We all groaned. Of course Piper would say that.
“What?” She flicked her hair over her shoulder. “Is there something wrong with not wasting yourself on things that don’t matter—like boys who don’t treat you with respect or friend drama or obsessing over your looks?”
That shut us up. In fact, I used the pen and took notes in the margin of the book. It was actually really good advice. I clicked off the pen and glanced up. My ears were definitely working now.
The swimmer’s drops must have kicked in.
“Anyone else?”
Jackie hugged her scabbed knees. “Don’t let others intimidate you or push you around. Stand up for what you believe and don’t stop until you reach your goals.”
“Oh, I love that!” Trinity exclaimed.
“Writing it down.” I scribbled. Yasmine was right. I should have been listening all along.
“My advice is to go after what you want. You’ll neve
r know if you’ll get it unless you try.” Siobhan’s bright cheeks left no doubt she was talking about Rafael.
I reached across and gave her arm a quick rub. Siobhan had, just last summer, lectured our old cabin mate Lauren about boys being a distraction. But here she was, keeping up with her summer school by studying with Rafael.
“Thanks, Siobhan. Anyone else?”
“Be open-minded to change because you’ll go through a lot. The universe has a plan, and there’s no rush to figure it out,” Trinity mumbled over a mouthful of kettle corn.
“Yep.”
“So true.”
“Definitely.”
The girls each took a handful when the bag was passed their way. I munched on the salty sweetness, thinking life was like that. Sugar and spice. There were good times and challenging times, but in the end, you always wanted more. I hated that Javier and I hadn’t worked out, but I still got to spend a summer with my friends. If only there was something nice I could do for him.
The slanting afternoon sun glittered on the letter “A” hanging from my bunk. For so long it stood for everything I’d wanted in life: appreciation, attention, control. Most of all, it stood for me. A glittery A for Alex because I needed to stand out in a good way—separate from my parents. It practically shouted “MINE” wherever I nailed it.
But none of that mattered anymore. I didn’t need to be noticed and have people like me. So what if the world thought I was the problem child and now troubled teen? What counted is what I believed. I’d let other opinions affect me too much.
Suddenly, I knew someone else who should have the sparkling “A.”
Javier.
I paid no attention to the “Where are you going?” and “Swim starts in ten minutes!” shouted behind me as I grabbed the letter and bolted from the cabin. In less than a minute, I was on the Warriors’ Warden porch. I bent over, my sides aching, chest heaving. Luckily, all was dim and hushed inside. Knowing Rob, he’d used the free time to take them on a run. Knowing Javier, he was in the kitchen.
The door swung open with a small tug, and I strode to Javier’s bunk. Like me, he had a top one. Unlike mine, his was neatly made with no frills to perk up the sad-looking navy comforter he’d tucked in the corners. I grinned down at my final Secret Camp Angel gift. Time to change that.
I found some paper and used my new pen to write him this note.
Javier,
I’m sorry for what’s happened this summer. But I wouldn’t change a moment we spent together since it meant everything to me. I won’t forget you, and I hope you won’t forget me. But just in case, here’s something to remind you of the crazy summer you met an even crazier girl named Alex. P.S. The “A” now stands for amazing—as in our amazing summer. It was short, but I hope you’ll remember it for the rest of your life. I know I will.
xo, A
I tucked the note under the “A” and put both on his pillow. Hopefully he’d understand it wasn’t goodbye. It was forever.
Javier
“You have everything you need?” Bam-Bam asked me before we walked into the mess hall.
I checked my watch again. I didn’t want to miss any of Alex’s speech.
“Yeah.” I pointed to the video camera I’d borrowed from Mr. Woodrow. The camp director had actually helped me out with a few things in my last days at camp, so I couldn’t really think of him as Gollum anymore.
Camp Juniper Point had been good to me. Mostly because it had given me Alex, if only for a little while. But I’d met more people here who gave a crap about what happened to me than I’d ever met anywhere else.
“Good.” The counselor nodded, jaw flexing. “But I mean for your trip across state. Do you need anything?”
I wasn’t ready to share my plans about that just yet. But I knew Bam-Bam meant well.
“Yeah. I’m good.” I had my head screwed on straighter than it had been in a long time. “Thanks.”
Inside the mess hall, applause made me wonder if it was time for Alex to go on yet. I’d gotten special permission to slide into the back of the room, even though Alex’s talk was geared toward the girls. When I’d told Emily I wanted to record footage of Alex, she’d turned cartwheels.
Literally.
“You’ll do fine, kid. Good luck.” Bam-Bam clapped me on the shoulder while some giggling girls wearing face paint ran past us into the mess hall, whispering to one another about seeing the Wholesome Home star speak.
Alex must have a following with younger girls. I wondered if she knew her parents’ blog had won her fans.
“Thanks. I know you did everything you could to help me.” This was awkward for me, but the guy deserved the words. “I appreciate it.”
Bam-Bam stared down at the water, his expression guarded. “You helped me out quite a bit with the Vijay thing. I should have seen the signs he was using.”
“Rafael gets most of the credit.” I tightened my grip on the video camera. I needed to get inside and start filming, but it wasn’t often that anyone stood up for me. I wouldn’t walk away from someone who’d believed in me even before I did. “And it’s not your fault you didn’t know. That’s not exactly the stuff you expect at a place like this.”
People sent their kids to Camp Juniper Point to get away from drugs and bullying and all the crap kids faced every day at school. Kids here still sang “B-I-N-G-O,” for crying out loud. Sure, some of it was corny. But it was special, too.
“All the more reason it should have stood out. Vijay was never a bad kid before.” Bam-Bam held the door open. “Come on. I’ll find us seats.”
We slid into a back row just as Emily introduced Alex. I hurried to get the video camera going because I had big plans for this footage. Alex might not need her glittery letter “A” anymore, but she still deserved some time to shine. I’d talked to her for a few minutes during breakfast, and she’d told me her parents were splitting and that she might be able to study at a performing arts school in New York. But Alex didn’t know about the plans her mother had in mind for me. Mrs. Martineau had approached me this afternoon with enough ideas for my future to make my head spin.
For now, I messed with the zoom feature on the camera and tried to get the best possible footage in case it would help Alex get into that acting school. I walked closer to the stage, careful not to distract her or anyone in the audience. I took some crowd shots while Alex held up a bottle of ear drops and a mirror, talking about her Camp Angel gifts. I snagged an image of her mom watching with teary eyes.
That made me start listening. Keeping the camera balanced on a folded table off to one side of the room, I tuned into what Alex was saying.
“…I’d been so focused on getting payback for what someone else did to me, I was making myself miserable.” She held up the mirror to all the girls watching her. “Guess I should have taken a good look in here instead.” She put her hand on one hip. “And I don’t mean to check out my eyeliner.”
That got a laugh from her audience, and I could see how she brought her acting skills into play. Sure, she spoke from the heart, but she used that big personality to work the crowd.
Light up the room.
“I should have realized you don’t look backward. I hurt someone I cared about this summer because I wanted the wrong kind of attention.” She blinked. Paused.
My gut clenched, and I knew damn well she wasn’t acting now. I felt bad for all the times I’d pushed her away. I wished I could have every last one of those moments back.
She cleared her throat. “What I learned this summer is that you pay it forward.” She set down her prop on a stool beside her. “It makes you happy inside to do nice things for other people, like what Emily did with the Camp Angel bracelets.”
She held up hers to show it off and waved Emily to stand and take a bow. While the girls cheered, Alex hollered the loudest.
“My Camp Angel taught me a lot, even though I was not always a gracious learner.” She turned to stare at someone in the audience, her green eyes shi
ning with tears. “Yasmine, I’m sorry and thank you.”
More applause. I picked up the camera to shoot the crowd again, my heart in my throat. Alex was freaking magnificent up there, and these girls really responded to her. She’d be like her mom one day, helping out people who didn’t have their lives together. I’d had a chance to talk to Mrs. Martineau earlier and she was…awesome. I understood where Alex got her generous spirit, even though her star-power was all her own.
“So if you want to learn how to deal with negative situations or if you just want to become a stronger, better, more kick-butt girl, you should take the Growth and Development workshop with Emily. You won’t regret it.”
The cheers were louder now than they’d ever been. I had to put the camera down, actually, so I could make some noise. Alex was more than just a hot girl. She was funny, smart, and talented. And yeah, I’d say she definitely fell into the “kick-butt” category.
I’d been an idiot not to see it sooner. Or not to help her see it. But then, I’d had problems of my own this summer. Still, it wasn’t too late to change. To offer Alex something to prove that I’d never, ever forget her.
Alex
“You were wonderful, sweetheart,” my mom gushed.
I’d been mobbed after my talk, and it was really strange feeling, like a rock star at camp. But sheesh. I guess the younger girls all knew the Wholesome Home blog—they’d been following my “issues” with the same devotion their parents followed my parents. Weird, right?
I’d been so isolated from pop culture, I had no clue there were kids in the world who wanted to hear my side of the story.
“I was so nervous.” My backpack containing my props quavered in my hand. I could feel it moving against my leg where I held it like a purse. “I worried the whole time—”
“You were amazing.” Javier appeared at my side to whisper the words in my ear. “Emphasis on amazing.”
“Thank you.” I met his deep brown eyes and wanted to fall into them. “This is my mom—”
