by Violet Blaze
I stood up suddenly, my stool scraping across the floor at the same moment my dad entered from the backyard.
“Where's Rhonda?” he asked, and I seriously had to close my eyes to keep from screaming.
“Not feeling well,” Flor said, and I had to wonder if that was actually a lie at all. “Come on, Abs.”
“Where are you two off to?” my dad rumbled, giving me one of his piercing looks. Maybe it was just me, but it felt even more invasive than usual. I pretended not to notice and let Flor grab my hand. He dragged me through the living room, up the stairs, and into my bedroom. Why, exactly, he thought this was the best place to do this, I'm not sure.
I swallowed hard, the sound audible in the sudden quiet between us.
I watched him fish something out of his pocket and toss it onto my bed. It looked like a jewelry box and for one terrifying moment, I imagined that it held a wedding ring, that Flor really had been intending to ask Rhonda to marry him. But then he opened it, and I saw that it was just a bracelet. A pretty bracelet, but still just a bracelet.
“It's for my mom,” he grumbled with a sigh. “If anyone asks, I brought you up here to look at it.”
“Um, okay?” I said, the words more of a question than a statement. “But why did you really bring me up here?”
Flor sat down heavy on my bed, putting his face in his hands. I wanted to sit down next to him, curl my arm around his shoulders, but I didn't. I thought about saying I was sorry, but that wasn't really true either. I wish Rhonda hadn't had to find out that way, but she'd deserved to know. If anything, Flor was the jerk for not telling her right way, and I was … I stopped short of bringing up Max.
“Now who's playing the game?” Flor snapped back at me, standing up suddenly and forcing me into the dresser with the heat of his anger. “Rhonda heard you, Abigail. And then she went home and told fucking Max.” Flor turned away and ran his fingers through his hair. As if on cue, I heard Addi's voice from downstairs.
“Max is here!” she called and I felt the blood drain from my face. Flor and I exchanged a look before he snatched up the bracelet and we both flew down the stairs like our lives depended on it. Maybe they did?
“Can you keep my parents in the kitchen?” I whispered frantically to my best friend, grabbing the door and moving outside before Flor could stop me. Max was standing in the driveway, a very unpleasant look on his face. Shit.
“Get your fucking ass down here, Florian,” he snapped and I felt a horrible surge of fear when I realized that Rhonda was in the car, eyes red and puffy, focused right on me. The worst part of it all was that I deserved it. “You sick fuck,” he said as Flor approached and paused, putting a cigarette between his lips like he just didn't care. Thing was, he did. I could tell from the tightness in his back muscles, the stiffness of his shoulders. He was playing it cool, but in all reality, he was strung tight, way, way, way too tight. “You fucked your own sister,” Max said and I cringed, putting my hands over my ears like that would block out the truth.
Flor lit up his cig, but he wasn't looking at Max. He was looking at me, right straight at me.
“Don't blow a gasket, dude. Relax, my parents are inside.”
“Yeah,” Max said, and I heard the strange echo of a little boy in his voice, the same one who'd grown up alongside Flor and me. He was disappointed in us and it hurt. Where was that hole in the ground when I needed it? Maybe I could just crawl inside and disappear?
I glanced over my shoulder, but no faces appeared at the window – not yet. My stepmom was nosy and my dad was suspicious. Combine those two traits and you basically have professional eavesdroppers; it was only a matter of time. I don't want it to be like this, I thought as I took a step towards Max. He was careful not to look at me and I found my own attention straying to Rhonda. She was staring through the window at Flor with red, watery eyes and all I could think was this is my fault. I'd pushed and pushed and pushed, even though Flor had pushed back. He'd tried to let this go and I'd kept on until this was where we'd all ended up.
“Look, maybe you shouldn't come home tonight?” Max asked, leaning back against the car and running his hand down his face. “In fact, maybe you shouldn't come home at all.”
“What the hell does that mean?” Flor asked, grabbing his cigarette between two fingers and taking a step forward. “You trying to kick me out of my own place?”
“All this time, all these years, how did I miss it?” Max asked, glancing back over at us, his eyes swinging back and forth like he was trying to discern some obvious connection between us, like a red string of fate wrapped around each of our pinky fingers. Legend has it that those who are destined to become lovers are connected by this crimson thread and although it can stretch or tangle or twist, it will never, ever break. I decided that if this was indeed the case with Flor and me, we were certainly testing the limits of our connection.
“Let's talk this out later, okay?” Flor said, taking another step forward. I saw him glance at Rhonda and away again, like it pained him to look at her. Did he love her? I stuffed my hands inside the front pocket of my hoodie and took a breath.
“Max,” I began, and both he and Flor startled like I wasn't even there.
“No, you shut the hell up,” Max said, his voice breaking like he didn't know what he should feel for me. Honestly, that was a surprise. And here I'd been operating under the idea that he was never really all that interested in me, that he, like Flor, thought of me as annoying add on, just another little sister. But his words …
“Don't you fucking talk to her like that,” Flor growled, throwing his cigarette down on the driveway. Max raised an eyebrow.
“What? Are you gonna fight for her honor, Flor?” he said, pushing away from the car and turning to face his friend. The last thing I wanted to add to my recent résumé of regrets was the breakup of a longterm friendship like theirs.
“Max, I'm sorry,” I blurted, moving between them and trying to get Max to actually look at me. “We didn't mean for it to happen like that. It just … things between Flor and I are confusing. Please, I don't want my parents to find out this way.”
“You plan on telling them?” Max said, looking at me like I was insane. “When they're having a baby? Are you insane? River's going to kill you.” I rather thought it was the other way around – my dad killing Flor. But then again, River was awfully protective of her only son. “I wanted this to be a mistake. I thought Rhonda was crazy, but … ” Max shook his head at me. “You two are fucking insane. If you want to fuck your brother, be my guest. You guys deserve each other.”
“Max, don't,” I said, reaching out to touch his arm. He threw my hand off like it was poisoned and the tension in the air tripled. Flor's fist came out of nowhere, cracking Max in the face. He stumbled back, but he didn't go down and before I knew it, the two of them were embroiled in a raging fistfight. Max grabbed Flor by the shirt and shoved him against the car as Rhonda climbed out the other side and moved around to try and help me pull them apart.
“What's going on out here?” Addi's voice was high and panicked as she came down the cement steps and tried to grab Max by the arm. The boys struggled to get at each other anyway and somehow in the fray, Max's elbow flung back and smashed me right in the nose.
I stumbled, blood pouring down my face as Florian paused long enough to catch sight of me. His eyes widened and then all bets were off. I suppose somewhere deep down, I almost liked the fact that he was fighting for me, but it was all wrong. Everything was just off. When I was fifteen, when Flor had me pressed against the wall, his lips on mine, his hands on my body, how did I ever think this would turn out? I should've seen this coming from a mile away.
I clutched my nose and tried to staunch the bleeding while my two childhood friends, the only two guys I'd ever had sex with, ended up on the pavement. Flor was on top this time, dropping a hard punch to Max's face that made my entire body go cold. Whatever he was fighting about, it was more than just Max pushing my hand off his arm. Flo
r was angry and confused and frustrated, and he was taking it out on his friend.
“What the hell?” Addi asked, gesturing at the boys. Nobody was trying to stop them now. All I could hope was that they'd stop before my parents made it out here. “Abigail?” I pulled my hands away from my face, wet with my blood and gave her a look. That was all it took. “Max knows.” She pursed her lips and glanced over at Rhonda. Rhonda's blue eyes slid over to mine and held there. I could see the frustration and the confusion I was feeling mirrored in her gaze.
“You know you can never have him?” Rhonda asked me, voice soft. “Not without giving up everything else.” I heard the sound of the front door opening and then my dad was suddenly just there, ripping Flor and Max apart while my stepmother screamed at them. When she caught sight of me, her mouth dropped open and my heart twisted into an impossible knot.
Rhonda walked away, her heels loud against the pavement, and disappeared around the corner.
“What is this all about?” my dad asked, holding Max and Flor apart.
I caught that beautiful green-eyed gaze and then swallowed hard, blood choking my throat.
“Me,” I whispered around a lump of fear.
It was now or never.
I sat at the dinner table, my eyes focused wholly on my empty plate and the gold placemat beneath it. I held a warm washrag against my face while Flor sat clutching one in his lap on the opposite side of the table. He had a black eye and a split lip. In the fray, one of his lip rings had disappeared, leaving a bloody hole that his mother was clucking over even now.
“I can't believe you boys would go that far. And right outside in the front yard where all the neighbors could see? What if somebody had called the cops?”
I looked over at Addison, beyond thankful that she was still here and Max wasn't. I don't know if I could've done this with his penetrating gaze focused on me. If the relationship that he and Flor, and he and I, had once shared could ever be repaired, I'd be devastated. I heard my dad mutter something under his breath, but I couldn't and wouldn't look his way.
“Now that we're all calmed down and cleaned up,” River paused to dab at Flor's lip, but he jerked away from her. I imagined that it wouldn't matter how old he got – whether he was sixteen or twenty-one or forty years old, she'd be right there by his side. “Let's hear what started all of this.” River looked over at me. “Does this have something to do with you dating Max?”
Flor snorted and I felt my cheeks go red.
“Something like that,” he choked out, coughing and shaking his head of mussed hair. I wanted to run my fingers through it, kiss his swollen lips, even now with all of this drama. What did that say about me? “But it's a little more complicated than that.”
“Was it really an accident?” River asked for what had to be the twentieth time, eyes focused on my aching face and bloodied nose. I nodded yet again and she sighed, sitting down heavy in the chair next to Flor, one hand on her belly. “Then what? What on earth could've inspired the two of you to go at it like that?”
Silence descended, heavy and stifling. I knew it had to be me to break it.
“Dad,” I said carefully, “River.”
Addi took a deep breath beside me.
“Don't, Abi,” Flor said softly. I felt a kick under the table and narrowed my eyes on him before finally reaching down and holding my palm out for the note he was trying to pass to me. Considering we were sitting on opposite sides of the table, it was a bit of a stretch, but if River or my dad noticed Flor and I leaning a little far forward, they didn't say anything.
Mouth shut, dope.
I pursed my lips and tried to glean something from his tight expression. It was hard to look Flor in his green eyes when one was practically swollen shut. Max had gotten in some killer blows. I patted the underside of the table before I remembered that I'd taken my yellow notebook with me. Bleh. I sat back with a sigh and ran my fingers through my hair. I mean, it wasn't like family dinners ever turned out well, but tonight was a goddamned disaster.
“Well?” my dad prompted, his balding head gleaming under the light of River's crystal chandelier. I remembered the day she'd had it installed, forcing Flor and me to come stand in the doorway and watch as she made a weird faux drumming noise under her breath and flicked the lights on. A spark had exploded from the base of the fixture and turned a decent size portion of the nearby ceiling black. It taken Flor, me, and Google to figure out how to fix it. “Either you've finally lost it, Florian, or you did something to upset Max.” Flor's lips thinned and I could see a flash of anger cross his face before he spat out the lie that he hoped would save us both. Unfortunately for me, it was almost as bad as the truth, which I'd actually been planning on telling until he'd opened his big mouth.
“Max and Abi have been sleeping together.”
Silence.
I choked on my next breath and felt my cheeks burning.
“When he pulled in the driveway with Rhonda, I confronted him about it. He didn't like it.” Flor shrugged like this whole thing was no big deal, just another thorn to be brushed off and forgotten about, no matter how badly the wound might bleed. “She took his side and then the whole thing just went to shit, okay? That what you wanted to hear?”
My dad's face was as red as mine, but most likely for different reasons.
“I'm eighteen,” I said before anyone else could get a word in edgewise. “We were dating. It's not that big of a deal.”
“Are we done here?” Flor said, sniffing and running his hand over his face. He looked so tired, and I felt so responsible. This is not just your fault. That's what Addi would've told me if I'd fully confided in her the way I should've. I glanced over and she raised one single brow at me. I was going to pay for this later.
“I … ” Even River seemed at a loss for words. I avoided her gaze as well as my father's and fiddled with my hands in my lap. If my family was good at anything, it was making me feel like I was fifteen again.
“Can I stay here tonight?” Flor said as he pushed his chair back. “Apparently I'm not welcome in my own place anymore.” He looked right at me as he said it.
“Of course you can, honey,” River said, sounding far too pleased by the prospect of her grown son coming back home. “But that doesn't exactly solve the issue between you and Max. Now, I know Abi's your little sister, but – ”
“She's not my fucking sister,” Flor griped, shoving his chair back in and moving from the room before my father got the chance to get a single word out.
“Dad,” I said, but he lifted his palm and stood up, leaving just as quickly as my stepbrother had.
“Well, I know I'm still hungry,” Addi said, bless her fucking heart. My stepmom gave me a long, searching look before getting up and leading my friend into the kitchen to make her a plate. The second they were out of sight, I scrambled out of my seat and followed Flor up the stairs. I didn't even bother to knock before I burst into his room and found him at the window, head bowed, fingers gripping the windowsill so tightly his knuckles had turned white.
Flor lifted his head to glance back at me as I closed the door softly and leaned against it.
“I'm sorry,” I whispered. “I should never have … maybe I shouldn't have told you how I felt. Then none of this would be happening, and Rhonda … ”
“How's your nose?” he asked me instead, turning around and perching on the windowsill, the soft breeze from outside teased his dark hair and made it hard to breathe. If anything, all of this drama should've done something to dampen my attraction to him. Surely if this thing between Flor and I was just hormones and lust and sexual tension, some of the sparkle would already be wearing off? I thought of that crimson thread of fate again and squeezed my left hand into a fist.
“Fine,” I said, my voice echoing around the nearly empty room. It was nothing now, just some spare guest bedroom with a few pictures on the wall, a bed, a dresser, a desk. Once upon a time, not all that long ago, Flor's room had been like a splash of color, cov
ered in his artwork, filled with his things, tainted with the deliciously wicked masculine scent of him. I'd both loved and hated this room; it was Flor, and it was comforting because of that, but it was also the place he'd brought most of his girlfriends. I glanced over at the bed and wondered if the springs still creaked or if my stepmom had gotten around to replacing it. She kept saying she was going to redecorate in here, make it a guest suite, but it hadn't happened yet. I wondered now if it would become the nursery. More than likely, it would end up being my room.
“Next time I get Max alone, I'd going to beat his ass until he can't stand straight.” Flor reached up a finger and prodded at his swollen lip until he cringed.
I crossed my arms over my chest and resisted doing the same. My dad had taken a look at me and decided that my nose wasn't broken, so I wasn't going to dwell on it. Honestly, Flor and I had sort of gotten what we'd deserved, although Max's words had hurt worse than I'd thought.
“This is kind of what we get for cheating,” I told Flor, thinking of that steamy bathroom, of his hands on me, his body inside of mine. He looked up at me then with his one good eye, like he could sense what I was thinking.
“Guess so,” he said, surprising me. For once, Flor wasn't ordering me around or screaming or avoiding the subject. “I guess I could've handled this better.”
“And I guess I could've done the same. Flor, I'm sorry I did this to us, but I couldn't keep it inside anymore. I don't know what to do now or how to go about all of this, but I don't think I can stop loving you.”
He cringed, but I didn't care. It felt good to have the words out.
“Abigail,” Flor began, but it was my turn to have the last word. I shook my head and gave him a look that told him that maybe, just this once, he didn't know best.
I guess all it took was getting punched in the face for me to realize it.
I tugged on that red string of fate and hoped that Flor would answer.
