Shane's Burden

by Peggy L Henderson

  Heat had crept into her cheeks, and she’d avoided eye contact with the teacher. How was she going to respond without sounding like a fool? Shane Taggart was popular, he was on the football team, and he didn’t even know she existed, other than for five seconds when she’d collided with him in the hallway.

  “My mother wouldn’t want me to,” she’d blurted. Again, it was the truth.

  Hesitating, she’d raised her eyes slightly when Mr. Weiker hadn’t said anything. She’d caught him staring at her with a look in his eyes that conveyed he knew way more than he revealed. Finally, he’d offered a knowing smile. At that moment, Alley had been convinced he could read minds.

  “I think I understand. Perhaps you’re right, and I need to ask someone else to tutor him.” He’d sat at his desk with his elbows propped up, and creating an upside-down V shape as his fingertips touched in front of his face. Alley had shifted weight from one foot to the other while he studied her.

  “It’s good to have ambitions and goals, and to dream big, Allison,” he’d finally said. “Just as long as we remember that those goals are our own goals, and not someone else’s. It’s easy to lose sight of our own dreams when we try to please someone else, and we don’t take the time to please ourselves, too.”

  She’d simply stared at him, fighting to keep the tears that threatened behind her eyes from showing. Mr. Weiker had completely nailed her life with those few words. There was nothing to be done, however. Her mother had been relentless in making sure Alley focused on her studies first and foremost. She’d laid on the guilt trips, telling her she’d regret it if she didn’t make sure she got a good education.

  Mr. Weiker hadn’t been finished with his advice to her that day. He’d leaned forward over his desk toward her and held his hand to the side of his mouth, then whispered as if someone else was in the room, “Your secret’s safe with me, Allison, but sometimes it’s worth it to take a risk and talk to someone who might not otherwise take notice. You never know what might happen.”

  Alley had wished at that moment that the floor would have opened up in one of those swirling vortexes from sci-fi movies and sucked her into a different universe. How had he known? How had Mr. Weiker been able to tell that she’d had a girlish crush on the moody Taggart twin? Had it been Mason Taggart, she could have found the courage to offer him some help, but Mason was already good in all his subjects. It had always puzzled her how twins who looked so much alike could be so different in character.

  Alley shifted in her seat in the truck as Raine swerved around a dead skunk in the road. She hadn’t taken Mr. Weiker’s advice that day, or any other day, although his words had stayed with her through the years. She’d settled into her studies and into the life her mother had created for her, and put Burnt River out of her mind.

  Now, ten years later, Mom was living in New York with her new husband, enjoying the life that Dad hadn’t been able to give her in Burnt River. Alley was no longer under her control. She’d graduated with her masters in biomedical engineering, and was about to start her doctorate. School at Cornell had become her home, her life.

  She stared out the window at the green hills and pastures that zipped by. Open spaces everywhere, with the occasional old barn sprinkled among the newer farm buildings. Stacks of unused winter hay were as abundant as the bands of cattle in the distance. She blinked at the unexpected tears that filled her eyes. This had been her home growing up. She’d loved it here, but she’d been taken away to fulfill someone else’s dreams, just like Mr. Weiker had predicted.

  Alley cleared her throat. “I didn’t see Mason at the memorial.”

  Raine’s knuckles turned white as her hand tightened around the steering wheel. Alley stared for a moment. Had she said the wrong thing?

  “Mason’s in Salt Lake City. He had a bad accident a few months ago. He’s currently in rehab.”

  “I’m so sorry,” Alley stammered. “Will he be all right?”

  Raine shook her head. “We’re not sure yet. He hasn’t regained use of his legs, so right now he’s in a wheelchair.” She laughed softly. “He was about to take over old Doc Johnson’s veterinary practice. No one’s sure what’s going to happen now.”

  Alley stared straight ahead. Should she even ask?

  “What happened?” The words were out before she could stop them.

  “To make a long story short, a horse fell on top of him at the ranch. Shane was with him at the time, and of course he blames himself for the accident.”

  “Why would Shane blame himself if it was an accident?”

  Raine scoffed. “Like I said, he’s a pretty intense guy. He always blames himself when things go wrong, as if he should have the power to control the universe.”

  Alley stared at her fingernails. Clean and freshly manicured. She used to chew them down beyond the quick. To this day, it was still a bad habit whenever she thought of her mother. She curled her fingers into a fist to resist the urge to chew on a nail this very moment. The impulse had been there since the moment she’d caught a glimpse of Shane sitting in the booth at the diner, and it had only intensified when he’d stared at her.

  There had been no recognition in his eyes. Not that she’d expected there to be. She’d forgotten all about him soon after leaving Burnt River. Her infatuation with him had been silly, she’d concluded. Why have a crush on someone who’d been rude to her and didn’t give her the time of day?

  Then why would he cause all those insecure feelings to return the moment she’d looked at him? At least this time, she’d been able to maintain eye contact and not stare at the ground.

  “Looks like we’re here,” Raine announced, her cheerfulness back.

  Alley looked up. She leaned forward in her seat and her eyes widened. The truck pulled off the main road and rolled up a dirt lane toward a ranch house that looked familiar, yet it was so different from what it had been ten years ago. She glanced out the window at the empty pastures on either side of the lane. Wooden boards hung from the fence. One section leaned precariously, looking as if it would blow over with the next breeze.

  The truck came to a stop in the yard that was littered with rusty old farm equipment parts. The barn that had been her secret hiding place to get away from her mother, and had housed many of the horses her dad and gramps bred, gave the appearance of being hundreds of years old. The sliding barn door was clearly off its tracks as it hung at an angle. How could this place have changed so much, and for the worse, in only a decade?

  “Do you want me to help you with your luggage?”

  Raine sat in her seat, staring at Alley. Concern flashed in her eyes.

  “No,” Alley whispered. She opened the door. “Thank you so much for giving me a ride. I’ll return the favor some day.”

  “No need. Let me know if you need anything.”

  Alley simply nodded and stepped out of the truck. She reached into the bed for her suitcases, then walked toward the house with a pounding heart. The glow of the setting sun over the mountains in the distance gave off a golden shimmer over the house, but even that couldn’t disguise the sad and dreary appearance of her childhood home.

  Chapter 3

  Shane lumbered down the staircase and followed his nose to the kitchen. The rich aroma of coffee left a clear olfactory trail all the way from his upstairs bedroom. Most days, he was the first person awake, and the one making coffee, but not this morning. He’d been out a little too late last night.

  Not by his choice, though. He’d been designated driver for Jerry and a few others, and no one had wanted to leave the bar before 3 am. Celebrating Mike Weiker’s life had been the best excuse in a long time for an all-nighter at the Wicked Waters, and Kull Kacey, the owner, had kept the place open longer, even after he’d stopped serving alcohol at 2 am. He’d refused to let anyone leave who didn’t have a designated driver or someone to pick them up.

  Shane’s Suburban had been filled to capacity with passengers who needed a ride to various ranches outside of town. When he’d f
inally dragged himself into the house sometime around 5 am, the sun had already started to poke up from behind the mountains.

  He should have simply stayed up rather than try to get a couple of hours’ sleep. Now he was already behind and the day hadn’t even started yet. Somehow, he’d make it through the day without much sleep. If only he could have closed his eyes and drifted off right away, he might have gotten three solid hours.

  The moment he’d closed his eyes, however, the image of a blonde with expressive blue eyes staring at him had given him no peace. The fact that he couldn’t remember who she was when he was absolutely sure he’d seen her before kept him tossing in bed and punching his pillow in frustration.

  When he’d finally drifted off, he’d been plagued by dreams of high school corridors, classroom doors slamming in his face, and books flying at him from all directions. Mr. Weiker had smiled and offered him a handshake, and told him he needed to keep going despite all the bad things life tossed at him. While he’d been talking, he’d kept stacking more and more books into Shane’s arms, and a chubby girl with glasses had bumped into him, making them crash to the ground.

  Shane ran a hand over his scruffy face. He’d taken a quick shower after rolling out of bed, but he was already behind in his day, and there hadn’t been time to shave.

  “Good morning.”

  Ever-cheerful Raine greeted him as he rounded the corner into the kitchen. She sat at the table, a humongous coffee mug between her hands.

  “Looks like you had a long night.” Her eyes traveled up and down his body as if critically appraising a new dress she was contemplating buying.

  “Next time, I’ll offer to pay the cab fare for everyone and go home early,” he grumbled.

  Shane approached his mother and leaned forward to kiss her cheek. “Good morning, Mom.”

  She lifted her eyes to his. Like every morning, she tried to smile, but it was an effort. She raised a shaky hand, her way of telling him “good morning”, and her mouth opened. She produced a few incoherent sounds, and Shane responded with a wide smile.

  What he really wanted to do was break down in a heap on the ground and cry every time he saw his mother. The vibrant rancher’s wife who’d loved nothing more than to spend the day at the horse barns now spent her time in a special wheelchair, often doing nothing more than staring out the window.

  The home healthcare nurse he’d hired to take care of Mom full-time did a terrific job with her, trying to keep her engaged. The speech therapist, the physical therapist, and the occupational therapist all came several times per week. At least they kept her as busy and stimulated as she was able to be, if nothing else. There had been only minimal improvement from the stroke she’d suffered seven years ago, though.

  Shane nodded to the nurse, who helped Mom with eating her breakfast. He moved to the counter and poured coffee into a mug.

  “I made scrambled eggs and toast. There’s plenty left.” Raine watched him from her seat. She got up and without asking, piled some eggs on a plate and tossed a couple pieces of toast on it, then set it on a placemat at the table.

  “Don’t say you have no time for breakfast.” She glared at him the way Mom had always done. Shane’s eyes went to his mother for a second, but her focus was on her own breakfast.

  Frowning, he pulled out a chair at the table next to Mom and sat. “I’m running late.”

  Raine shoved a fork into his hand. “You’re welcome for the food. And whatever it is that you need to get done today can wait a few more minutes. The ranch will still be here, even without you overseeing everything for one morning.”

  Shane stabbed at the eggs. After last night’s chili cheese fries, and then an assortment of other greasy bar food throughout the night, it seemed like fresh eggs were the best thing he’d eaten in a long time.

  “Thanks for the good breakfast, Raine.” He flashed his sister a smile, and she nodded, apparently appeased for the moment. Besides, it wouldn’t do to bicker in front of Mom.

  “Like I was telling you earlier, Mom, the memorial was really nice. A lot of people were there that we haven’t seen in a long time.” Raine took a seat opposite Mom at the table. “Do you remember Alley Cramer?” Raine paused, clearly waiting to see if there was a response from their mother.

  Shane glanced up from his plate. Alley Cramer. She was the woman with Raine at the diner.

  Cramer? The last name was familiar, but again, not a single memory came to him that included Alley Cramer from high school. There was no response from Mom, either.

  “I’m sure you remember Ariel Cramer. I think her maiden name was Sanders. You went to school with her,” Raine continued. There was a slight nod from Mom. Clearly, that name had sparked a memory. Now might be a good time to jump in and find out what he’d been racking his brain over for the last twelve hours.

  “Any relation to Henry Cramer?” Shane forked more food in his mouth to disguise his curiosity.

  Raine sipped her coffee. “Yes. Ariel is Henry’s daughter-in-law. Alley is his granddaughter. Ariel left Burnt River, with Alley in tow, after her husband died. Mom always said how miserable Ariel was living here. She’d always wanted to get out of this town. Had grand ideas of leaving Burnt River, but no money, and when she got pregnant, she had no choice but to marry Henry’s son, Paul. After he died in a car crash about a year before Mom had her stroke, Ariel took her daughter, and moved away.”

  Shane frowned. Henry Cramer was part of his order of business today.

  “Did Alley ever go to Burnt River High?” He raised his coffee mug. The question was casual enough that it shouldn’t get his sister’s wheels spinning.

  Raine laughed. “Alley was only the smartest person in my class, probably the entire school, while she was there. She left after junior year. You were pretty self-absorbed back then, Shane. You probably wouldn’t remember her. She’s changed a lot, I must say, in several ways.”

  The dream he’d had during his couple hours of sleep came to mind. The chubby girl with the dark-rimmed glasses. Bumping into her in the hallway when she’d been carrying a stack of books. His brows rose.

  “Allison Cramer? She’s Henry’s granddaughter?”

  He cursed under his breath. He’d seen her a few times in class, but like his sister said, he’d been too self-absorbed at the time to associate with anyone other than his football buddies and girls on the cheerleading squad. He couldn’t conjure up any specific memories of her.

  Raine nodded. “She looked rather shocked when I dropped her off at the Cramer Farm. I don’t think she knew what shape the place is in.”

  “I’m supposed to meet with Henry Cramer today,” Shane mumbled.

  If Henry’s granddaughter was staying with him, he’d most likely see her again today. He ran his fingers along his chin. Why did that thought fill him with worry and anticipation at the same time?

  Because for some reason, you were attracted to her last night at the diner, and now you might have to see her again.

  He had no time for socializing, other than a quick meal at Evie’s or one of the other places in town to talk business when he got together with some of the ranchers in the area. Relationships were too much work, something he didn’t have time for. He had enough to think about with his mother, Mason, and keeping the ranch productive. At least his sister hadn’t given him a reason to worry . . . yet.

  “What sort of business do you have with Henry Cramer?” Raine’s sharp eyes pierced into him.

  Shane bit into his toast and chewed. Anna, the caregiver, wiped his mother’s mouth with a napkin, then asked her if she was finished eating and wanted to get dressed.

  “I’ll see you later after work, Mom.” Raine stood and hugged her mother. “I’ll probably be gone by the time you’re done getting dressed.”

  She directed her attention back to Shane once the nurse had wheeled Mom out of the kitchen. She raised her brows at him, waiting for an answer.

  “We ran into each other last week at the feed store, and he sa
id he thinks he’s ready to sell the place.”

  “And you’re thinking of buying his farm?” Raine’s eyes widened.

  Shane nodded. Raine wasn’t usually interested in his business dealings. He was in charge of the Taggart Ranch, and everyone trusted him to do what was best. While Mason had gone to vet school and Raine to nursing school, he’d quit college to take over the family business full-time after Mom had had her stroke.

  “He told me he can’t afford it anymore. He’s losing money left and right, and he’s had to let go of all his employees. He mentioned he has a few nice mares left and several two-year-olds ready for training, but he can’t afford a decent trainer, so he’s decided to sell.”

  Raine shook her head. “That’s really sad. He held on to that place for so long for his son, and then Paul died in an accident.”

  Shane frowned. Time to talk to his sister in practical terms, not with emotions. “If I don’t buy the property, someone else will. I’ll make him a decent offer.”

  “It’s only a few hundred acres. What are you going to do with that?”

  “The back of his land borders a few of our pastures. Land is always a good investment, even if it isn’t much.”

  “But we don’t really need it. Taggart Ranch has plenty of acreage.”

  Shane glanced at the digital clock on the microwave. Why was he having this discussion with his sister? He didn’t have time for this.

  “Mason often said he’d like to expand the clinic in town to include more large animal surgery, but Doc Johnson doesn’t have the facilities for it. I figured Henry’s place would make a great second location for the vet clinic, for the large animal portion.”

  Raine studied him with an appraising eye. She glanced in the direction where the nurse had wheeled their mother. Leaning forward, she stared at him.

  “How do you know Mason will be able to come back? He may have had big plans before the accident, but . . . Do you really want to do this for him, or is it more for yourself?”