by Kerri Ann
Cast by the sunlight sneaking through the buildings, I’m taken aback by his subtle beauty. We’re the same height, standing eye to eye. He has no obvious scars from puberty, no tell-tale cuts from scuffles, and nary a hair out of place in his manicured brows. Don’t ask why I notice that. I’m not superficial, I just happen to see the finer details of people.
He has no piercings that I can see, and if he has any below the belt, I’m more than glad to inspect them—for flaws that is. No noticeable tattoos, and the perfect set of lips that I want to pull between my teeth. He’s near perfect. With dark, clean-shaven hair that’s mussy in the front, cut clear along the sides, thick lashes, and crystallized eyes housed in a dark rim, to me it’s as close to perfection as I think I’ll ever see.
I don’t think he feels as good about my perusal of his features as I do, as he seems a bit unnerved by it.
“Tyler, we should talk. Maybe over that coffee?” I tell him, hoping to break the tension.
Without saying anything to me, Tyler takes a few steps, then a few more. “Coffee…right.” Moving ahead, he pauses again, but with a softer tone to his features. Tyler turns around.
Pushing up against me in a rush, pressing his body to mine, Tyler’s mouth crashes towards mine, causing a shock to my system. Cradling my head between his strong hands with his mouth against mine, the invasion is exhilarating. Allowing him entrance, our tongues tangle, the roughness of his facial hair scratching mine is enticing and tantalizing. Exactly what I envisioned it would be like to kiss him.
When he pulls back, breathing heavily and licking his moistened lips, I’m speechless at first. “Tyler, you’re a hard man to figure out.”
Grinning, he smooths a hand down my face, then kisses my lips tenderly once more. “Come on, Chris.” He takes my hand in his. “We’re going to have that coffee.”
Tyler
Walking past the little shops that dot the landscape of Manhattan, I suddenly feel uneasy. It’s not Chris. It’s not that I’m walking down the street with a beautiful man. It’s that his past does haunt him, cloying at him, causing me to doubt. I’m rethinking all of it as we’re hitting the curb. The kiss, the hand touch, the chance on someone…it isn’t Chris that I’m really rethinking, it’s me. I’m fearful.
I mean, Chris might be a monogamous man if given the chance. Only my mind can’t seem to jump the line that he’s married. I’m pretty particular about rules. And yeah, it’s easy to see she’s his beard, only there to make him seem manly and fully straight in the eyes of the political realm, but he’s definitely gay if the video is to be trusted. By the passionate look on his face as he euphorically reached climax with another man’s cock in his ass, I’d say he’s not into women quite the same way.
The question though, is if I can’t overlook all of that, then why did I kiss him?
As we walk along, heading down the street, I’m considering the options of knowing Chris better. I could hail him a cab and run back to my apartment alone. As always, I’m living in fear of having my heart twisted again.
Or.
I can take a chance.
Julia was right, dammit!
I’ve been alone for so long—sixteen years to be exact—that I haven’t given anything a chance at all. My motto has been, ‘no one can break you if you don’t let them.’ If they can’t get near, how do I know that they will?
Not handling the silent walk well, I decide to break the silence. “Did it help?” I ask. “I mean, did the video and the coverage—”
“You mean, did it lift a weight?” Chris is beaming. “Fuck yes. Jeez. I’ve never been anything but a man’s man. Tough, rough, take no shit, burly. That was the expectation. It’s never been easy, but the video has given me something I’ve never had; a sense of peace.” His smile is genuine, and I totally know what he means. I’ve never faked it, but I’ve seen enough friends who did. They had to show they were into a girl, when all along they were screaming on the inside to be let out of the cage that society had dragged them into.
“I’ve had a few friends that faked it until marriage. Or hitting the altar and running with the best man instead of the bride.” It’s happened more than I can count. “So I’m sorry you’ve never really had a chance to show your love for another man, Chris.”
Scoffing at that, he lets out a haughty laugh. “What do you have to be sorry for? You weren’t the guy in the recruitment building that I thought was sexy. You weren’t the guys in the barracks that I had to hide excitement from of seeing their manliness on display. I knew that it wasn’t mine to touch without a court martial at best, or worse, being strung up after they took turns on my ass, then left in the desert to die. I’ve seen it, and I’m sure I’ll have some nasty fucking emails in my inbox when I look next from the team I was stationed with.”
“What do you think about your job?”
Laughing deep, he steps ahead and turns to face me with a great big smile. “Oh, without a doubt, I’m fired. Indiana is a Republican state, and while they allow civil rights as an unalienable right, corruption is about to take my ass to the cleaners.”
On that I’m confused. “Why?”
“Well, I didn’t take money, sway votes or collude to do damage, but my reputation is about to be set alight like a big fucking bonfire.”
As Chris is turning back around, walking beside me again, I look at our surroundings. We’re at the doors to his hotel. I didn’t walk to my place, I walked to his. Stopping short, I look at Chris. “Sorry. I didn’t keep track of where we were going. How about a raincheck on that coffee?”
As disappointment flickers across his features, it disappears just as fast. He smiles. “Yeah. Sounds good, Tyler.” Pulling open the door to his hotel, he goes to step inside, but he stops and turns. “Thanks for the chat, and the escort back here. I wouldn’t have made it on my own.”
“You’re welcome. Maybe I’ll see you around.” Presenting a hand for him to shake, I smile. “With Julia, anything’s possible.”
“That’s an understatement, I bet. But yeah, sounds good.” He steps over the lintel. “Thanks again, Tyler.”
As the door closes slowly, I watch Chris walk away. I may not have decided it, but I did the right thing. Well, partly. I shouldn’t have kissed him and confused things, but I’m glad my mind subconsciously decided for me, saving me the trouble of a mistake.
Chris
“So when I say, “You say this, Chris,” I assume you’ll do as you’re told. Correct?” Julia is pissed off, and rightly so. I just fucked up.
I said something in court that could damn my chances of getting out of the charges from the fucktard that set me up.
“I get it. It was a stupid thing—”
“Oh, you get it, Chris? Really? You get it? No, you don’t. It was stupid.” She’s slamming paperwork into her messenger bag in a huff, curving corners and scrambling the pages up haphazardly as she rushes to toss it all in. The judge took a break to go over all the evidence—including the video, which I’m sure he’s going to love—before he comes back with a decision.
“My comment might have been offensive.”
She narrows her eyes, making me wish for one of Carli’s tirades. “Chris, to say I want you to tell the truth, doesn’t mean I want you to inform the court how it felt to have his cock in your ass when asked by the other team. They were looking for any excuse to find you were enjoying it. And that maybe, just maybe, you had coerced him into it.” I know I need Carli to save me if this woman throws down. Carli would defend me. Even at nine months preggers, she’d give Julia a run for her money. I know it.
“I can only do so much with what I’m given, and you, mister, might have wrecked it all. I can’t do a thing for you if you say shit you shouldn’t.” Picking up all of her things and laying a coat over her arm, I offer to help with the bag.
Handing it to me, she softens slightly. “It’s been a week of figuring out the best plan of attack for this. I hate that you could royally screw yourself, without the a
ssistance of a cock.” Starting away from the area we were sitting in, I listen to her Jimmy Choo’s click along the floor. With her a few steps ahead, she calls over her shoulder, “Come on. I need an espresso.”
Following her, walking out of the courthouse and straight to a street vendor, Julia hands the man a twenty.
“What would you like?”
She’s asked me this twice today, and I’ve answered nothing both times. “I don’t do—”
“Coffee. Yada, yada, yada. Yeah, I remember. But maybe a tea? Something to calm your nerves. I’d like to keep my perfect record intact, Chris. You all wigged out isn’t helping either one of us.”
I sigh. “Fine. A black tea then, please.” Standing like her hat rack, holding not only her bag but her coat now too, she takes both her petite cup and mine from the vendor. Stirring in sugar, Julia talks to me over her shoulder. “Any answer from Elaine?”
All week she’s ignored my calls, ignored Doris, my assistant—who just quit— and ignored even Carli as she emailed, texted, and sent her a video message asking her to answer the damn phone. “Nope. Nothing. Still radio silence.”
“I don’t blame her. If I was dealing with my fake husband’s political suicide, which could eventually drag me through large puddles of shit, I’d avoid you too.” Handing me the tea and taking back her bag, Julia stuffs the change in a pocket. “She knows you didn’t do it on purpose, but it will be good for both of you. She just needs time to realize that.”
Sipping from her cup as we walk back towards the front of the courthouse, Julia stops short, grabbing a seat on a bench. Slapping the seat beside her, I know she’s asking me to join her and not hover. It’s been a week, but I’ve figured Julia out. Do as she says, don’t piss her off, and I won’t have to go in the octagon with Rush.
It’s been a consistent threat of hers.
Do as you’re told. Do as I say. Don’t make waves, and don’t piss me off. I’m a good size guy, but meeting her one day at his gym across town, a little pee came out of me as I watched him in action. The man is a majestic predator in there. Oh, and not to mention, what Julia wants, Julia gets with Rush too. So my ass in that cage would occur if I piss her off.
“So, have you talked to Tyler this week?”
“Straight for the gullet, huh?”
“Yep, that’s me. I like it plain. Don’t sugarcoat shit. Sugar coated shit is still shit. So…” Preempting a reply, she pauses, sipping that dainty cup once more.
“No.” Twirling the tea bag, watching it spin, hoping that no will be accepted as an answer, I avoid her.
“No? That’s all you have for me? Not good enough.” Picking up her phone, she starts to dial a number. Once it’s answered, she says, “Linc, honey. What are you doing this after—”
“Okay!” I shout, trying to admit defeat and save my bacon. “Okay, I’ll talk.”
Smirking, “No, I really don’t care. As long as you’re picking me up and taking us to the club I’m good.”
As he answers her, Julia’s smile kicks up a notch. “Just what I thought of too! Viewing room one it is then.” Hanging up without saying another word, Julia turns back to me with a devilish grin that says ‘take that, fucker,’ before placing her phone back in the bag.
“Fine. No, I haven’t talked to Tyler. No, I haven’t seen Tyler. And no, I haven’t gone out of my way to do so. What is with you and pushing us?”
Tipping her cup to down the remainder of her espresso, she tosses it in the trash can beside us. “He’s into big and beautiful men like you. You’re definitely into him. I saw it at brunch. I’m still unsure of how you didn’t end up fucking on the elevator to your room, but that’s on you two. And, regardless of what you think, I actually want to see you happy. Man, it kills me to say it, but I’m rooting for you.”
“Really?”
“Yes. Really.”
“That was almost a compliment, Julia.”
“Don’t get used to it. If you crush my Tyler, I’ll chop your balls up and feed them to the pigeons in Central Park.” Looking at her watch, she rises from the bench. “Come on. We’ll be needed back inside shortly.”
Chris
“So you got off, and your dick was in your pants? I think that’s a win-win.”
“Thanks, Carli. Yes I did.”
“So are you about to celebrate with a room full of cocks, feather boas, porno videos, dildos, and frilly dresses?”
“Don’t make me come over there and tell you the reason you had to clean your car in person, Carli. It won’t be a pretty picture.”
“And why would you have to do it in person? Is the truth that good? Because if it was scary and you thought I’d kill you, there’s no way you’d travel to L.A. to tell me.”
Shocked, I smile. “You’re back in the States? Really? When did you get back?” I’m worried it means something happened with the babies. “And why are you here? What happened, Car?”
“Nothing, you posh pussy. Both are asleep in their cribs, tossing and turning as they think of what their Uncle Chris did to their mother’s car.”
I snicker, envisioning those sweet little darlings. “Considering who their parents are, I’m amazed neither of them have horns and a Jai of their own as soothers.”
“They’re not allowed their own Jai’s.” She quiets for a second. “They’ll have to name them later when they can speak. For now, it’s Bubba one and Bubba two.”
“Oh my God. The things you think up, Carli.”
“You love it, Chris. Now stop fucking around. Tell me what happened over the past week while I was pushing beach balls out of my cunt.”
Giving her the rundown, I tell her all of it. The whole fiasco with the stupid shit I said in court, how the judge—who had thankfully been the recipient of blackmail and bullying of his own—understood my plight. He released me of all charges. He also condemned the asshat—his words, not mine—and suggested he should shut up and sit down before he was countersued for entrapment and willful bodily harm. The last was a stretch he said, but he felt it was up to me. The whole time, Marcus sat in the chair looking downtrodden, publicly embarrassed and frightened of what the judge might do next. I chocked it up to a life lesson. Thankfully, it also meant the video had to be taken off the internet, unless he and his co-conspirators wished for further defamation of character and blah, blah, blah charges.
“So I got off.”
“I guess you could say that. Did you countersue?” she asks.
“No. I just wanted it to go away.”
“Wow. You really are a pussy.” Shuffling around, I hear a baby crying in the background. “See? Even Coco and Lou don’t like it.”
“What did you name those two sweet girls again, might I ask?”
“Coco and Christian. For my two favorite things.”
She can’t mean that.
“You named your daughters after Coco Chanel and Christian Louboutin? Please tell me you’re kidding?”
Hearing low cooing, I know Carli has soothed the babe. “No, I didn’t. How much of a bitch do you think I am? Nori is after my mother, and Marca after Jamieson’s. He didn’t want to at first, but after a bit of sexual coercion, he fell in line.”
“That’s almost sweet, Carli. I knew you were nice.”
“Watch it, buddy. You still haven’t told me a story about my car, a feather boa, and a very thorough cleaning. Until that time, you are never off the hook. Be prepared, you’ll be called for late-night diaper changes when I’m tired.”
“Ugh. Yeah, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I’m allowed to travel out of state anymore.”
“Yeah, I’d say that’s a wise choice. When do you fly out?”
“I don’t leave until Monday morning. Julia made me promise to stick around for brunch once more before I leave. She scares me more than you do.”
“That’s not a stretch, Chris. You’re afraid I’ll kill your mojo, and you’re afraid she’ll toss you in a ring. I’d be scared too. The last ring you played with almost cost
you your state job.”
“Had to go to there?”
“Of course. It’s the only ring you have of value. Elaine took the other one anyway.”
We’ve talked about Elaine already, how she’s cleared out the house, cleared out the accounts, and left paperwork on the counter, which was told to me by the lawyers, and how she expects that I won’t contact her in the future. Funny. We were friends for years, sham married for years after that, and I supported her with everything. And now she wants me to disappear from her life as if I never existed. Something’s off in Denmark, but I’ll leave it for now.
When the second baby starts to yelp, that’s when Carli tells me she has to go. Saying our goodbyes, I promise to find a way to visit while she’s in the States.
Hanging up the call, I feel lonely all over again. It’s Saturday in Manhattan, and I’m fearful of a repeat performance from the last Saturday I had free. Of course, all of my colleagues that were here when everything went down have gone back to their respective states. That means I don’t have a friend in the city to call, and I’m not up for causing trouble. Deciding to try out the toys gifted to me by Julia once more, I figure the second time’s a charm.
Chris
There must be a seating chart. Walking into the restaurant, Jim is shouting at the kids to behave. Charlie is trying to calm Jim while bouncing Tig’s daughter on his lap. Tessa is talking to Troy about something, Rush and Julia are turning each other on under the table, and Jax is trying to coordinate their next trip to the Hamptons. Sitting quietly, taking it all in is Tyler. Today he’s wearing a button down camel Henley, conservative caramel slacks, wire rim glasses, and a smile. The smile is directed at me.
“Nice to see you again, Chris.” He pushes the empty chair out beside him, motioning for me to sit. “I hear the week went well. Julia, as usual, pulled it off.”
“It seems,” I say, grabbing up the water that rests in front of me. Guzzling down a mouthful, I stare into the bottom of the glass, covering up the fact that all I want to do is ogle Tyler. In business attire, he was nice to look at. With a wide grin and a relaxed outfit, Tyler is scrumptious. I have a hard time not wanting to ask if I can get him out of the Henley.
