Sadie stared at her a little wide-eyed. "You must have been tolerable brave to do that. What happened, did your parents find out?"
"No…fortunately, the doc was a friend of my family and he promised never to tell that I lost the baby because he knew how upset they would be. But I knew Sadie. I lived with that all my life and through my marriage to Simon without speaking of it once. So I know how you feel. You feel helpless and scared. You feel you can't talk to anyone. I know…Sadie."
"Dear God. At least you lived through it."
"Yes, but the burden I shared with the doc, lived with me all my life Sadie. You are the first person I have ever told this to."
Sadie stared at her and grabbed her hand. "Don't worry. I won't say a word. Besides, I hardly talk to anyone now."
"I know that. You're the most tight-lipped woman I ever knowed. You have a kind heart Sadie. Too kind for the people here. They'll crush you."
"I only did what I could. I hadn't thought much about the baby. Least ways not much. I been too busy trying to figure out what to do. No one else knows but you. The secret was unbearable."
Claire looked at her strangely. "No one?"
"Nope. I kept the café closed so no one has been around here. The only time I go out is to hang laundry and check my garden. Little good that does. Even the potatoes are dried up stumps."
"Maybe you should just move before anyone else finds out."
"Why, what difference does it make?" Sadie asked, as she looked away.
Claire shook her head, her eyes widening. "You are such an innocent, Sadie. A lot. You've never been married. They will call you names. They will talk about you all the time. You know how gossips are. They'll be very unkind. You can't stay here Sadie. It's unsafe. When people become desperate, they often lose control of their actions. I'm afraid for you. Don't you have kin somewhere?" Claire asked.
"No…no kin…but Elmer and I don't even know where he is right now." Sadie said sadly.
"Don't you know anyone, besides the people here?"
Sadie thought about that. "I know Jim and Smitty, from Melville. They told me to come and live there. Said I'd find work there. Maybe that's where I should go."
Claire sat down at the counter and nodded. "Good, at least you have a place in mind. But you can't wait around until these people find out. It's way too dangerous. Yes, Melville has a lot of people and probably not many you know there. Why don't you see about going, then? Maybe someone there can help you. A doctor…"
Sadie nodded, then glanced around the place. Fear and sadness mingled. "You know Claire, I never been out of this town before. Never been away from my home. Do you think I would be alright in Melville?"
Claire thought about it for a moment, her lips pursing with confidence. "Anywhere would be better than here."
She saw dismay on Sadie's face. Claire shook her head. "You really have no idea the danger you are in, here? Dear God. Listen…I have to tell you something. I've wanted to come and talk to you before this. But…well, I wasn't sure you would welcome me. When you closed this place I was glad. Because giving away food like you did made everyone here become lazy and dependent on you. It contributed to that laziness. It helped make them no accounts. No one wanted to work. Why should they, you provided and sustained them. Because you supplied them with food, a lot of them just let you and didn't worry about workin'. All the pride and confidence of the people began to dwindle."
Sadie frowned at the floor. Claire was right. She had contributed. "I guess I didn't think about that much. I'm sorry…"
"But there was a lot of talk about you and the café after you closed. I'll bet you didn't realize that?"
"Talk about me?" Sadie inquired.
"Yes. Poor sweet Sadie. My God you are such an innocent." Clair protested as she shook her head in despair. "People resented you for closing. Not that it was your fault. It weren't. But they still talked. After all you did for them, none of them seemed thankful. No one cared. Not a one. This is a dead town Sadie. And you would do well to leave it. Now I feel sorry for you, as there isn't anyone left to appreciate all you did. I saw it, every day. Sadie…this town died long ago. And the people in it did too!"
"You and Simon been here as long as I have. Don't you hate to move? Even if it is dead?"
Claire shook her head a sad twinkle in her eye. "No, I'm looking forward to it." There was an uncommon joy to her voice now. "Simon finally has a little spunk to him and wants to go to work. It's the first time in years. It's like he did die, and he finally woke up from that deep sleep and decided he wanted to live. It gives me such hope, Sadie. We can't do any worse than we've done here. And you…you have got to move. Especially now. You aren't safe here anymore, Sadie. I'm telling you the truth. A town like this, is full of desperate people."
"But my being pregnant don't mean nothin' to nobody but me, Claire. And talk never hurt me. Unless they come here, I never hear any."
"Maybe, and maybe you should hear it, so you would realize how important it is to leave here now. When you were feeding everyone, things were okay, but now you ain't, well, they blame you for starvin'."
Seeing the hurt and disbelief on her face, Claire continued. "You see Sadie, people have a way of bad talkin' that can run into makings of a mob. They think you starved them. They blame you for everything bad that's happened to them. I've heard them talking. You need to pack yourself up and get out of here, now, Sadie. Go to Melville, let that Jim and Smitty help you." Claire advised. "You'll need a doctor to deliver the baby, or at the very least a mid-wife and there won't be anyone here that can help you Sadie."
Sadie's stomach clinched with apprehension. "It's that bad?"
Claire nodded, "It's that bad."
Sadie poured them both some coffee, it was the last in her pot, Claire noticed.
Sadie cried aloud now, "Since Elmer left, I've been barely holdin' on. I'm starvin' too, Claire. I try to ration what I got, but my garden has dried up, I got no meat, I ran out of chickens. There's not much here. And you are right, I will need at least a mid-wife."
"I know…that's why you got to get out of this place." She insisted. "You haven't a chance here. There is no hope for this town now. No hope at all. I'm glad Simon finally sees that. But if you don't leave, I shall worry forever about you."
Sadie nodded slowly as she sipped the coffee like a fine wine. She tried to rein in her fragile control, but she knew her anxiety was showing.
Claire's face mirrored all her fears.
"I guess you are right. I guess I need to go. And I should be thanking you for talkin' to me so frankly. But I gotta admit, it is like pulling up beets from the ground. I'll be takin' my roots with me. I love this place. I always have…."
Claire stood up and moved toward the door, she turned to stare at Sadie one last time with some strange warning in her eyes. "Don't waste your time. This place ain't worth it. Get out while you still can. And God go with you, Sadie."
Sadie nodded and watched her leave.
Sadie's resolve broke and she cried aloud, holding her head as though it might suddenly pop off.
Then she sat down on the stool and cried for a long time. She cried for the baby she was going to have, and Elmer who would not know of it, and herself. For the first time in her life, Sadie was really afraid.
~*~
"Sadie, it's us, Jim and Smitty." The voice on the other side of the door called.
"Oh…just a minute." She unlocked the door and opened it for them. "I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you."
Jim and Smitty tried not to stare, but it was impossible. Seeing Sadie standing there in her café, with no one around, and quite pregnant, they just hadn't expected it. They also didn't expect to find the café door locked too. It looked as though a lot had changed lately.
Compassion swamped them. "Sadie, don't you think it's time to move now?" Jim asked, not wanting to acknowledge her condition in any way.
"Sit down and have some coffee. I want you to know, I've thought on it. And I
reckon…" she paused, as a tear slipped down her cheek. "It's time to move on."
Smitty smiled with relief. "I'm sure the decision was hard to make."
Sadie glanced from one to the other. "Ain't neither of you gonna ask?"
Jim shook his head.
"I'm with child, as you can plainly see. Who would have thought it? As old as I am. I'm as stunned about it, as you two. But it has happened, and my friend, perhaps my only friend left in this town told me I should leave. She said there would be trouble. So I've packed up and got a wagon ready if you will escort me to Melville. I jest been waitin' fer you two to show up."
Jim nodded now, staring deep into her eyes. "I'm sorry for your troubles Sadie. But I guess we should both congratulate you on your being with child."
"Let's save that for later. Ain't no happy occasion right now. But I'll need someone to help me. I don't know nothin' about birthin' Jim."
"We have a great doc in town, Sadie. I'm sure she can help you." Smitty remarked.
"Yes, Vivian will be a big help to you, Sadie. Don't you fret." Jim assured her.
"A woman doctor?" Sadie narrowed her gaze for a moment.
They nodded.
"Well, Saints be praised. Never thought I'd hear of such. But I ain't one to point a finger. I'd be proud of her help. Yes sir, proud." Sadie said and reached to fill their cups with coffee.
"Vivian is a fine doctor, and most everyone has gotten used to coming to her with their troubles. But I guess I better warn you. She just lost her baby, Sadie."
"Well, I'll swan…." Sadie shook her head as though the news hurt her. "I'll be extra careful what I say around her then. Don't want to go hurtin' her."
She poured herself a half cup of coffee and joined them at the counter.
"You feelin' alright, Sadie?"
"I reckon so. And I could even cook for a while before the baby comes." She smiled sadly.
"Alright then. You show us where your wagon is, and Smitty can help drive you into Melville." Jim smiled. "We'll head out tomorrow, how is that?"
"Probably a good idea." Sadie acknowledged.
"You ain't gonna ask no questions?" Sadie stared at them.
"I don't think it's our business to ask, Sadie. It happened, and now we will help you deal with it." Jim encouraged.
It was easy to see that Sadie was sad about being pregnant. Jim wondered if she had been raped or something else might have happened. Perhaps Vivian could get that much out of her. If she had been raped, he'd personally see to finding the man. If not, then at least he would have brought her to Melville where she could get help.
"Can we use the cabin once more?" Jim asked.
"Shore, I'll go get the key." She said and moved toward the back of the café.
Jim glanced at Smitty.
"Wonder what happened?" Smitty muttered.
"I don't know, Smitty. But we shouldn't ask. We'll just wait until she's ready to tell us. If she tells us."
"I guess you are right. I wonder who he was?"
"I don't know, but I'd like to get my hands on him." Jim said tightening his hold of his coffee cup.
"What kind of man would run off and leave her like that?" Smitty asked.
"The wrong kind of man. I can tell you that. But we'll help her. It's the least we can do for her."
Smitty nodded.
Sadie came back with the key to the cabin and laid it in front of Jim.
"I'll be ready after breakfast in the morning." She said.
"Good. How many people are still here, do you know?"
Sadie seemed to think about that for a minute. "Oh not more than ten or twenty. When I closed down, they got pretty mad. Claire, my friend said they talked pretty bad about me. Blamed me for their hunger. But not much I can do, Elmer brought me the meat. And he's long gone."
"Ignorance and irresponsibility is what it is." Jim said. "It's past time they helped themselves, Sadie. They shouldn't depend on you for their livelihood."
"Didn't they know that Elmer run off?"
"Oh yeah, but you see, Elmer was never around them much. He was out huntin' or workin' in his smokehouse most of the time. He didn't socialize. They only knew me. So that's who they blamed."
"Ain't right." Smitty injected.
Sadie shrugged. "It's human nature, though."
"I'm glad you have a friend that could make you see stayin' here would be dangerous for you Sadie."
"Claire is a good friend. But I'm afraid I didn't know it for a long time. Her and her husband are movin' west at the first of the month. I'll miss them."
Sadie glanced at them both. "So…why you want to help an old woman like me? Don't you have enough troubles of your own?"
"We like you Sadie, and we think you tried your best to do a good thing here in Cross Timbers. Just because the people here are too ignorant to know better, you did keep them going a little longer, and they should be grateful." Jim added.
Smitty had been quiet for a bit, then he looked out the window. "You ain't leavin' much, Sadie."
She glanced out the window too. "I guess not. I reckon I am fortunate to have friends like you two."
Jim didn't stare, but every now and then he'd glance at her and see the sadness oozing from her. Her slumped shoulders, her downturned mouth, and the way she walked, dragging herself along. He'd have never guessed this would happen to a woman like Sadie.
They talked for a long while and then Jim glanced directly at her. "Sadie, for your own sake we need to be able to tell people something. They'll be naturally curious. I think we should just tell them that your man up and ran away. Would that be alright with you?"
Sadie nodded slowly, her eyes going to Jim as though pleading for him not to ask.
"Whatever you think best." She muttered miserably.
They talked for a long time and Jim felt he was really getting to know the person that Sadie was. He wished he could do something for her, but getting her out of this ghost town was a good start.
After they ate together, a pot of beans and corn bread, Jim and Smitty excused themselves to the cabin to rest.
"You think she'll ever tell us, what happened I mean?"
Jim took off his hat, "I don't know. But it's enough to know that we can help her."
"Yeah, that's the truth."
As Sadie checked her café for last minute details the next day, she sighed heavily as Smitty drove the wagon out of the yard one last time. For a lifetime of living, she only had about a half a wagon full of stuff.
She glanced over her shoulder once and Smitty whispered, "Don't you fret, it's going to be alright, Sadie."
"You are a kind man Smitty," Sadie smiled sadly at him.
"We all come on to hard times every now and then. We all need a friend, Sadie. Jim and me are your friends. We feel we've come to know you, care about you. So don't you worry none."
"What if Elmer comes home and finds me gone?" She wailed.
"He'll figure it out, sooner or later. Why should he be surprised, everyone is leavin' the town anyway. He wouldn't want you bein' alone, now would he?"
Sadie smiled at Smitty, "No, he wouldn't."
"So don't you worry. Everything is gonna be alright. You'll do well in Melville Sadie."
Sadie nodded.
"Part of me is back there, though, Smitty."
"I reckon it is. But the livin' part ain't. The livin' part is here." He said pointing to the heart.
"You a God fearin' man, Smitty?" She asked.
"Yes ma'am, are you?"
"Oh the Lord knows me. That's for sure. And he knows me a lot better now than he used to." She sighed.
"That's good." Smitty nodded.
They rested for a bit about half way. Sadie was feeling good and Jim didn't want to push too hard.
It was nearly nightfall when they saw the lights from Melville.
Sadie stared out at it. "Looks full of life, your town…."
Smitty and Jim smiled. "It will be a new start for you, Sadie."
Sa
die nodded and tried to smile, but chills ran up her back. The secrets she kept were killing her.
Chapter Nine
Adjusting was slow for Sadie her first few days in Melville. She'd never lived in a town so big. But she quickly realized a few of the benefits when she began to venture out of her small one room shack that Jim and Smitty had offered her for free.
She walked down the boardwalk of Main Street, glancing at the stores and all the finery in the windows. There were so many things that Sadie had never seen before. She saw the bank, the café, the hotel, and the Sheriff's office. She met many people, that greeted her with smiles. The men tipped their hats to her as they passed her. Along the end of the street was the doc's office and she paused a moment before she went in. Apprehension churned within her. Jim and Smitty had introduced her briefly one morning, and she had promised to come to see her.
Meeting Vivian for the first time Sadie didn't know what to say at first. The woman was beautiful, charming, and so smart. She wore her hair down in curls, and her dress was a lovely pink gingham. The woman looked elegant and Sadie had often wished she could look so nice. But she was too poor to have the right clothes. Her hair frizzed some and she just didn't have the grace about her, like Miss Vivian.
"I'm so glad to finally meet you. Jim and Smitty have told me all about you and I was eager to meet you and hoped you'd become my patient."
"Well doc, I sure do need some help…" Sadie smiled.
Vivian invited her to sit in the parlor while they got to know each other a little. Sadie had never been to a doctor before so the experience was strange to her.
"When the town began to die, why didn't you just move, Sadie?" Vivian asked.
Sadie looked at her with a puzzled glance. "Didn't have no place to go. It was my home. Where I'd always lived. Besides, there were people there that couldn't feed themselves when the mine played out. It started out kind of natural, they'd smell my cookin' fer miles and directly some of them stopped off. When they found out I'd feed them for nothing, they came back every day. The government sent me a little money for feedin' them. 'Course I had a lot of paperwork to fill out but generally they sent me a little to recoup my losses."
Bad Day for a Killing (Book Three of the Western Serial Killer Series) Page 7
