Spark: A Bad Boy's Second Chance Romance (Burns Brothers Book 3)

by Gillian Archer

  “Really?” Came Hope’s droll reply as she bounced baby Fliss on her lap. “Then you clearly weren’t listening if you’re okay with us rereading Mariana Zapata’s Kulti again.”

  I stopped making silly faces at Fliss and turned to Maddie. “Wait, what? I thought we’d agreed no rereads.”

  There were literally a million books we could pick, and yet Maddie wanted to reread her favorite books over and over again. She could do that on her own time. Did we really need to get together again and talk about the same book we’d read last year?

  “Yeah, but you just agreed to veto that rule, and now it’s two to one, so Kulti it is.” Maddie grinned mischievously.

  Like hell. “Nuh uh. I’m not meeting up next week to talk about your favorite slow burn romance. I loved the book too, but reread it on your own time. The whole point of this group is that we get to read new and fun romances together without any judgement. That doesn’t work if we’ve already read and discussed the book. Pick a different one.”

  Of course Maddie loved slow burns, especially ones with an older hero. She’d been crushing on my brother Nathan almost as long as I’d known her, and for some reason she thought that the reason they weren’t together was because he was so much older and more mature than her. I really doubted that five years brought a bunch of extra wisdom. Not to mention all the stupid shit I’d seen Nathan do as a teenager and as an adult.

  I wished like hell that Maddie would let her crush on the doofus go and find an awesome man to love her. Because I don’t think Nathan would ever see her that way.

  “Fine.” Maddie crossed her arms over her chest and glared at us. “You guys are no fun sometimes.”

  Hope snorted and tried to cover up the sound by blowing raspberries on Fliss’s neck. Judging by Maddie’s continued glare, she didn’t buy it either.

  “So if not Kulti, what book do you want to read?” I racked my brain to come up some titles people were buzzing about on social media. “Have you guy’s read Teardrop Shot by Tijan? It came out last year, but I think it’s a slow burn and has a sports hero.”

  Hope shook her head while Maddie was suspiciously quiet. Either she hated that I had taken over picking the next book—but was too polite to say anything, like always—or she had read the book and didn’t want us to know.

  I sighed. “Maddie, you pick. As long as it’s not a book that we’ve read and discussed together. That’s our definition of a reread here, right?”

  “Right,” Hope echoed.

  Fliss babbled something and clapped her hands in agreement. The rest of us laughed, charmed as always by Fliss’s antics.

  Maddie smiled. “Okay. I love Tijan, so let’s read Teardrop Shot. Sound good to you guys?”

  “Yep,” I replied.

  “The book is picked. Yay!” Hope cheered.

  Fliss immediately copied her, clapping along.

  It’d been a while since I felt a pang looking at Fliss. But at six months old, she was all roly poly gorgeous with her bright blue eyes and little chubby cheeks. My mind was flooded with all the could’ve beens. I didn’t feel like I was ready for a baby even now, but I couldn’t deny the pain I felt when I thought about my miscarriage.

  “What’s wrong?” Hope asked me with a frown. “You’ve been a space cadet all morning.”

  “I just…” I sighed. I’d never been really comfortable talking about it. For the longest time, Maddie was the only one who’d even known about the miscarriage until last year when I slipped up with Ryan after he’d told me about his accidental pregnancy. But now Hope knew too. I knew I could say anything to my two besties, and I still hesitated.

  “Is it your mom?” Maddie asked with a thunderous frown. “Because you know we’re all on your side, right? What she did to you was so screwed up. Especially now that we know how awesome your father really is. When I think about the fact that you could’ve had him in your life growing up, but she kept him from you, I get so—” Maddie’s face turned red and she gasped like she literally couldn’t form another word.

  “Yeah.” Hope shook her head. “It’s completely different from my mom. She was keeping me away from a maniac one-percent biker. What was your mom protecting you from? A married engineer in San Fran? It’s so crazy, Sabby. Ryan said you’re meeting up with your dad almost every day. How’s that going?”

  “I, uh, it’s fine. I mean, I’m still so damn mad at my mom. She’s so freaking stubborn. I just can’t believe how much time I lost with him, you know? So far, he seems like a pretty great guy. I get why she fell in love with him in the first place. I just wish she hadn’t robbed me of a childhood with a father. It’s kinda hard for me to get over it.”

  “I can see that.” Hope lifted a shoulder. “It took me months to talk to my mom again, and even then it was stilted and awkward for the longest time. It’s still a pretty fresh wound for you.”

  “And such a deep betrayal.” Maddie cut in. “It’s not a little thing to get over. Please don’t beat yourself up over it. You did nothing wrong. This isn’t your wrong to fix.”

  I agreed but I didn’t. A relationship was between two people, right? I knew that I’d have to do some work to fix what was broke between me and my mom. I just wasn’t ready to even think about it yet.

  And it also wasn’t the issue on my mind at the moment.

  “Thank you, guys. But, um, that’s not what’s bugging me this morning.”

  “What else is going on?” Maddie leaned forward. “Something with your hunky firefighter? Everything’s okay, right?”

  “Uh, depends on your definition of okay.” I shook my head. I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore. “I mean we’re fine. Mostly. I just, he said something this morning—”

  “This morning?” Hope exchanged a look with Maddie. “It’s only eleven o’clock. Did you guys meet up for breakfast?”

  “Or was he already there when you rolled over this morning?” Maddie gave an excited squeal. “Are you guys official?”

  “Well, I guess so, but that’s not what—”

  Maddie waved a hand. “Wait. What do you mean you “guess so?” What does that mean?”

  I groaned. “It means that we haven’t had the whole “exclusive” conversation, but neither one of us is sleeping with anyone else. But that’s not—”

  “How do you know he’s not sleeping with someone else?” Maddie cut me off again. “He’s a hot guy. I bet he has ten girls on standby—at least. You know you can’t just blindly trust him, especially considering his whole disappearing act.”

  Maddie had been burned by a few fuckboys in the past, so I understood where she was coming from. She might’ve been holding out hope for Nathan, but that didn’t mean she’d taken an oath of chastity. Although come to think of it, I hadn’t heard of her dating anyone recently…

  I shook my head. We were getting so far off track. “I just know, okay? It’s private and personal so I don’t want to betray Logan’s trust, but neither one of us is seeing anyone else. And I do trust him. He went through a lot. He didn’t just suddenly disappear; he was wounded and unconscious in a hospital. I don’t, you can’t…it’s not the same.”

  Maddie sat back with a quiet hiss of breath. She looked hurt like I’d just slapped her and maybe I had. We’d known each other since we were little. But sometimes she needed to calm down and back off. Her love could be smothering at times. I mean, I got it—she was an only child who craved siblings more than anything. But sheesh. Sometimes she really got on my nerves.

  Sisters.

  “So what is bugging you then?” Hope’s quiet voice broke the tension in the room. Quickly followed by a wail from Fliss. “Sorry guys, it’s getting close to lunchtime and someone has her daddy’s attitude.”

  “Sure, sure. Ryan’s attitude.” I snorted.

  Hope sent me a withering glare that was belied by the removal of her shirt as she readied to feed Fliss. Maddie and I were old hats at the whole breast-feeding thing. I passed over the U shaped pillow and Maddie han
ded Hope a burp cloth for later.

  “So you haven’t told us what’s bugging you, Sabby.” Hope looked like a Madonna with her gorgeous baby nursing at her breast while she held court in her living room.

  And I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t talk about it here with them like this.

  It just felt so wrong.

  I tried to wave my hand in a flippant way and hoped they couldn’t see the tears hazing my vision because I sure as fuck couldn’t see through them. “I feel like we’re talking about me and all my crazy drama a lot. What’s going on with you guys? Are you seeing anyone, Maddie? Whatever happened with you and that teacher who was coming to library all the time?”

  “He went back to his husband,” Maddie answered flatly.

  Shit.

  Hope tilted her head as a frown wrinkled her brow. “Come on, Sabrina. You know you can talk about anything with us, right?”

  “And if not us, who would you talk to?” Maddie asked.

  “Right.” Hope shrugged. “You’re not talking to your mom right now, and your brothers aren’t the best when it comes to talking about their feelings. I swear I think somedays it would be easier to pull a tooth out of Ryan’s head than a thoughtful, unprompted confession.”

  Maddie snorted. “And Ryan’s more in touch with his emotions than the other three.”

  “So come on. Tell us. What’s going on?” Hope’s eyes were gentle as she stared at me from the other sofa.

  I sighed. These two were dangerous when they ganged up against me. “I just…I’m feeling guilty that I haven’t told Logan about the miscarriage. He said something last night about me not being someone who could lie to the people I loved and I just… I feel so guilty. He should know.”

  “And you’ll tell him.” Hope replied. “When you think he’s ready.”

  “But I feel like the man from the Telltale Heart. I have this secret that’s ticking away inside of me, and I feel like everyone can hear it.”

  Hope lifted a shoulder. “Well fortunately your life is such a dumpster fire right now no one can hear it.”

  I snorted a surprised laugh. It was funny because it was true. Between my lying mom, my not-really-dead father, my previously ghost of a boyfriend, and my pulled apart office, there wasn’t a corner of my life that wasn’t on fire at the moment.

  My light laughter ended in a sigh. “I guess I’m most afraid that he’s going to be pissed that I didn’t tell him. I mean it was his baby too. Doesn’t he have a right to know?”

  Hope shook her head. “I thought the whole point in waiting was because you were worried about his mental state.”

  “I was, I mean I am.” I groaned. “Crap, this is all coming out wrong.”

  “No, it’s not.” Hope leaned toward me, in spite of the baby still nestled against her breast. “You need to unload and you can’t do that with him at the moment. Just because it happened two years ago, doesn’t make it any less of a loss that continues to wound you. You lost a baby. That’s a huge thing. And it’ll be a huge thing when Logan finds out about it—whether it’s today or a month from now. So give him the time to get to a place where he can hear about it. Then you guys can grieve together.”

  Despite the calming words I was hearing, my leg continued to twitch. “So you’re on board with not telling him yet? I’m not being a deceiving bitch?”

  The phrase had been circling in my head for a while lately. Any time I thought about my secret.

  Hope tsked. “Of course you’re not. You’re trying to do what’s best for the guy in your life.”

  Maddie fidgeted at her end of the couch and made me realize that I hadn’t heard anything from her. “Maddie, what do you think?”

  “Oh, no.” Maddie shook her head. “I don’t think either of you want to know what I think.”

  Hope turned and gave Maddie an incredulous look. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Maddie just shook her head.

  I groaned. “Come on, Mads. Spill.”

  “I just…” She sighed. “Aren’t you mad at your mom for doing the exact same thing to you? She hid your father from you, and you’re hiding your miscarriage from Logan.”

  “My mom lied to me my entire life about something fundamental. They’re not even remotely the same.”

  Maddie hitched a shoulder. “Your mom lied to you, and you’re lying to Logan. And it sounds to me like you’re doing a lot of Logan’s thinking for him. If you guys are really building a relationship, shouldn’t he know everything? Isn’t he an adult? Because from where I’m sitting, it doesn’t sound like you’re treating him like one.”

  I stood up and walked over to the kitchen to put some distance between me and Maddie.

  “I’m sorry, Sabby.” Maddie called out from the other side of the large living area. But I refused to turn around to face her. “But that’s what I think.”

  “Well I think you’re wrong.” Hope huffed. “Sabby’s situation with her mom is completely different. You’re not going to win anything by telling him now versus a month from now. The situation isn’t going to change. It’s still all in the past.”

  Maddie sighed. “But the fact that you waited at all to tell him might make the biggest difference in the world to him. You’re doing it to protect him. Kinda in the same, misguided way your mom tried to do with you.”

  Tears rolled down my cheeks. I really didn’t agree with Maddie. Everything inside me said to wait. Logan needed time. That if I told him about the miscarriage, he wouldn’t be able to handle it now.

  But I was so fucking afraid that Maddie was right.

  Maybe I was just like my mom.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Logan

  Over the next couple of days, I could tell something was bugging Sabrina. She would look at me with an expression like she had something to tell me, but when I asked her, she just shook her head. I swear it was happening every hour.

  And it was bugging the shit outta me.

  To the point that I was starting to feel paranoid.

  Did she want to break up with me? Her very enthusiastic performance in bed told me that wasn’t it. She wasn’t faking her orgasms. No one could fake those earth-shaking climaxes.

  Maybe she wanted to label our relationship or something. But I wasn’t seeing anyone else, and I was pretty sure she wasn’t seeing anyone else. Did we really need to put a label on it? What was wrong with keeping on keeping on? It made sense to me. We were nowhere near the m-word, so why not just enjoy our time together, and we’d get there when we got there? Hell, it’d only been like a month since I’d been back in her life. What was all the hurry about? Neither one of us had even said the l-word yet.

  Or maybe I was just paranoid. Shit was finally going right in my life. I had to go out of my way to find some reason to fuck it all up.

  I kneeled next to my tools and cranked my neck side to side until I heard that satisfying pop. The job was almost done. I only had to wait for the inspector to show up and sign off on the install. And then Sabrina was coming over to celebrate with me. Hence my mental gymnastics to find something to obsess over. That was what my therapist thought, anyhow—apparently I spent too much time obsessing over every little decision I’d made in the past. I needed to live in the moment. And I was going to start doing that.

  Just as soon as I figured out what was bugging Sabrina.

  The door behind me creaked open. Finally. I’d been waiting on this inspector for almost an hour.

  I pushed myself to my feet and brushed my knees off before turning to face him.

  “Hey, I’m Logan with Golden Fire—”

  Crack!

  I saw stars and my face exploded in pain. I grabbed my jaw as the momentum of whatever had slammed into my face put me back a step. I opened my eyes just in time to see a fist swinging toward me.

  Crack!

  The second blow sent me to the ground. But I was never one to run from a fight. I grabbed a pipe wrench next to me and came up swinging.

  “Whoa!”
A guy I’d only seen on television before held his hands up and jumped back a step. “Calm down, bro!”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I charged toward him and swung the wrench but he danced away.

  “Shit! No fair bringing a weapon to a fist fight.”

  “You sucker punched me— twice— without saying a goddamn word.” I pointed at him with the wrench. “So either start talking, or I’m gonna start swinging again.”

  Nathan Burns tilted his head. “Did you think we’d let you hurt Sabby like that without a fucking consequence? You’re lucky I only punched you.”

  I blinked. Sabby? Who the fuck was Sabby? “What are you talking about? I don’t know any Sabby.”

  “Of course you don’t.” The brown-haired behemoth in front of me rolled his eyes like a drama king. “That’s why you up and ran away the second you heard she was pregnant. Fucking pansy ass.”

  “What the hell? Who’s pregnant?” I was having a hard time following the conversation. Maybe he’d hit me harder than I thought. “I swear whoever it is you’re talking about I haven’t screwed them. I’m seeing Sabrina.”

  “Do I look like a fu—”

  The front door crashed open, and a similar looking but slightly shorter brown-haired guy stumbled inside. Ryan Burns. His eyes darted between me and Nathan. “Shit, am I too late?”

  That was when it clicked. Sabrina. Sabby.

  Oh fuck.

  “Sabrina’s pregnant?” I whispered. It made so much sense. The way she kept looking at me like she had something important to say. The hard swallows when she looked away and didn’t tell me what was on her mind. Sabrina was pregnant. We were pregnant.

  I was going to have a baby.

  I staggered at the realization. Shit. Wow. I wasn’t—I couldn’t even wrap my mind around it.

  “No, she was pregnant. Two years ago.” Nathan cocked his head. “You didn’t know?”

  “You don’t listen for shit.” Ryan bit out. “I swear to god you never hear half of the words anyone says. He didn’t know. He was in a coma in some hospital up in Washington. Sabrina never got to tell him. Before or after the…” His eyes widened as he trailed off. He looked at me and gulped.