Altered

by Kimberly Montague

  "So I don’t know if you want to know this." The sideways glare I gave her made her put her hands up in the air. "Don’t kill the messenger, but—" She put her arm around me and lowered her voice. "Gary sent me a text message. He, well, he personally overheard Jay telling Andre and Nicole that it had been over between you two for a long time. He said you just didn’t want to admit it, and he felt too sorry for you to tell you. He was flirting with Nicole and Heather."

  Slumped down in the nearest seat, I didn’t move for the rest of class. Really? Did he really have to be a total tool? I was the one who had to point out to him that it was over. I sat there trying to be angry instead of hurt and deceived, but I just couldn’t work up to it. Had I really misjudged him for so many years to think he was a good guy? Maybe this was just him lashing out at me? Clearly, our friendship didn’t mean as much to him as it had to me. And maybe I was just getting what I deserved. But no one outside of Gary and Sonya knew Dev and I were together. I wasn't out flaunting it around in front of him. I had been trying to spare his feelings while he had no qualms about trashing mine with lies.

  During break, Gary and Sonya tried to cheer me up, but it’s hard to get over so totally losing someone that had been in your life for seven years. I mean, I had cried and dealt with losing the romantic side of our relationship, but I seriously thought he would get over it enough to be friends again. I didn’t know—I had no way of even imagining that he would turn into something so different from the guy I thought I knew.

  "Vaughn!" I heard Gary yell, catching my attention. "Come over here!" Watching Gary throw his arm around Dev and whisper in his ear, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what he was telling him.

  Dev’s eyes turned to me. I couldn’t read him. Was it sympathy? Was it disappointment that I still cared so much about Jay’s friendship? I couldn’t tell, but he came to sit next to me.

  "So, rough morning?" His voice was neutral, but the expression in his eyes told me he felt bad for me. "He’s hurt, Evie. How could he not be hurt? I'd be destroyed if I lost you. I wouldn’t spread lies about you, but everyone handles pain differently."

  I wanted to be pissed, but it came out as a whiny complaint. "He’s a spoiled jerk."

  "I can’t disagree with you there, I’m just saying, you can’t blame yourself for still wanting to be friends with him. You’ve known him for years, he can’t be a complete douche. He’ll figure it out, and it’ll eat away at him a lot worse than anything he could say about you. You know what could make people stop caring about what he’s saying?" He nudged me in the shoulder, forcing me to turn to him. "If I kissed you right here in front of hundreds of people."

  Unable to tear my eyes from his, it took every ounce of willpower not to pull his lips to mine, but I turned away and moved my head from side to side.

  "Crap! I thought I had you for a minute there."

  I wouldn't allow myself to smile, but I quit frowning. "For a minute there, you did."

  "Well, let’s go back to that minute. Can’t we live in the minute? You know they say ‘live in the moment?’ Let’s go back and live in that one." As much as I wanted to wallow, he could always make me smile and did in that moment. "Oh, it’s a smile, is that a yes then?"

  I still couldn't bring myself to flaunt our relationship like that. Sitting next to him, talking almost platonically made feel guilty enough. "Just because he’s being a jerk, doesn’t mean I should be one too."

  "Exactly, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Quit being a jerk and give your boyfriend a kiss."

  "Very funny," I scolded as the bell rang, and I allowed Dev to pull me up off the bench, letting out an exaggerated sigh. "Can’t you come to third period with me? I don’t know if I can face anymore stares alone."

  "I wish I could." He looked around at the people passing us by then back at me. "Would you really want me to?"

  Images of him walking into third period and sitting with me made me smile then I thought about the reactions from my classmates. "No. I can handle it."

  It was tough to discern the look on his face. He almost looked proud, maybe pleased. He touched my arm, but pulled back quickly. "I can walk you to class if that helps?" When I nodded, he grabbed the books I was carrying as I tossed my backpack onto my back.

  When fourth period came around, I was wishing to be in the cell phone loop. It felt as if everyone knew something I didn’t. They were watching me and whispering, but it was in laughter and in shock, making me really want to know what Jay had said about me. As people started finishing the chapter worksheet Mr. Johnson assigned, they wandered around the room chatting during their "free time." It was tough to resist the urge to move to Dev’s table, but I didn’t want there to be even more gossip. I kept my textbook open, pretending to still be doing work until Dev came to sit in the empty chair next to mine. Turning surprised eyes on him, I could tell he wasn’t happy about something.

  The corners of his mouth were turned down, and his jaw looked like it was hammered shut. "I’m done defending the twerp, now I’m gonna kill him."

  "What?" I asked, although I knew full well who he must be talking about—Jay.

  "He’s spreading it around that you’ve been in love with me since the beginning of the year, but you held on to him because I turned you down."

  I winced. What else could I do? While the "turned me down" portion was totally false, the rest of it was true. I had liked him since the beginning of the year—I couldn’t deny that now, not to Dev anyway.

  "Evie, he’s elaborating on the idea that you threw yourself at me. I don’t want to repeat any of it, but it’s bad."

  My shoulders slumped. Of course, everyone would believe it in a heartbeat. I’d heard it myself a few times. Why on earth would that nobody, Piper Kenley, think she could possibly gain the interest of the captain of the football team, the most popular guy in school, soccer star, track star, wrestling star, Devlin Vaughn. I could imagine rumors of me throwing myself at him. I could see Nicole resurrecting the memory of my overly flirtatious behavior during PE and encouraging it to be the star in its very own text messaging show.

  "Let me just tell everyone the truth," he pleaded. "Let me tell them I’ve had it bad for you since the beginning of the year. Please, Evie, let me put Jay in his place?"

  "No," I said, closing my eyes in exhaustion. "It’s just stupid gossip. It’ll go away."

  It was his turn to let his shoulders slump in defeat, but he nodded and walked away calmly and quietly.

  Unable to handle the drama, I spent my lunch in Mr. Berg’s back office helping him grade freshman History papers. He had already heard the gossip and was nice enough to offer me a hideout as I very slowly walked toward the quad. I jumped at the chance to avoid more eyes on me, and he brought me a candy bar in sympathy. I used my own text messaging skills to let Dev and Sonya know where I was at, but asked them to stay where they were or it would draw the eyes to my hiding place. Dev insisted he could ditch the eyes and come hide with me, but I told him it would be easier if he didn’t.

  During Leadership, Mr. Berg was my savior again when he assigned Sonya, Gary and me to the task of sticking address labels on the senior reminder letters that were going out the next week. I was finally able to relax and not feel like a three-eyed freak when the bell rang signaling the dreaded beginning of PE.

  Sonya kept an eye out to make sure that everyone but Dev had left the room. As Sonya wished me luck, I fell into step beside Dev.

  "How you doing?" he asked, staring straight ahead instead of over at me.

  I shrugged largely so he would see it out of the corner of his eye, but stayed quiet.

  He put his hand to his forehead like he was getting a headache from this whole thing. "I wish you’d let me say something. He deserves it with this crap he’s pulling." He let out a loud, frustrated sigh when I shrugged again. "Are you gonna keep shutting me out?"

  "I just don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. A big part of me wants to stand up in
the middle of the quad and kiss you, but then part of me feels like it’d just be because he’s caused this mess. I don’t want to feel like that."

  "Would it really be just because of the rumors?" he sounded a little hurt, but I didn’t know how to make my feelings make sense to him. I hadn’t meant it how it sounded.

  I grabbed his arm, making him look down at me. "You already know how I feel about kissing you. I just meant that parading it around for that purpose makes it feel, I don't know, less special."

  He nodded, and we were both silent for a few minutes. I kept my eyes on the cement in front of me, but it was impossible not to notice the stares I was receiving. "Why can’t they stop staring at me?" I said softly enough just for Dev to hear.

  The anger in his eyes made me flinch. "Don’t you get it? They aren’t just staring at you; they’re staring at me, too. They already figured it out, they’d have to be blind not to, but by not admitting the truth, we look guilty."

  "We are guilty," I said to my shoes.

  "No, we aren’t. We didn’t plan for this to happen. We didn’t sneak around behind his back making out—I mean we kissed, but we didn’t sit around saying let’s see how much we pain we can put him in. But that’s what he’s doing. He’s trying to hurt you through the gossip he’s spreading. He knew what would happen the second he opened his mouth. And you’re not only letting him get away with it, but you’re feeding into it. He knows we’re together, or he wouldn’t have started this mess, so who are you hiding it from, Evie?"

  As we reached the main gym, it started raining, not just a few sprinkles but big drops. It fit my mood perfectly.

  Dev's voice was much calmer than it had been. "Looks like we won’t have to worry about dressing out today." Just as the words left his mouth, Ms. Amster put out the "Report directly to the gym" sign on the locker room door.

  We walked into the gym as people were flooding in from the locker rooms and rushing in from the rain outside. Kim and Sarah quickly found me, which made Dev comfortable with leaving my side. We found a place to sit on the floor not far from the basketball court where Dev was being pulled into a game. I took out my math homework, trying to focus on numbers instead of the giggles I heard all around me.

  "Vaughn, you sexy thing, come over here and help me take attendance for Coach Hayman."

  I tried not to glance up, tried to ignore the voice I knew belonged to Nicole, but I couldn’t resist the jealous anger I felt over her greeting toward my boyfriend. Looking in Devlin’s direction, I saw Coach Hayman saying something to him and pointing to Nicole before his shoulders slumped in defeat.

  She was only twenty feet away from me, so she knew I could hear every word she said. "Vaughn, I just want to tell you how sweet I think it is that you take pity on the poor unfortunate creatures at this school. I heard all about it from Jay this morning, and—"

  "Can we just take the attendance? I have a game I want to join over there." He spoke quickly, and the obvious annoyance in his voice made me feel a little better.

  Tuning them out, I returned to my math work. Calculus was definitely my worst subject, but with my brain completely not in it, I was practically erasing holes in my paper.

  Nicole’s screeching voice interrupted me. "Piper? Where’s Piper?"

  "She’s right there," Dev gritted out.

  "I don’t see her, she’s totally invisible," she laughed at her own stupid joke.

  "Right there, Nicole, open your eyes." His tone closely resembled the one he'd used when he spoke to Jay on the bus.

  "Oh, right, there she is."

  I glanced up, and she waved snottily at me.

  Her annoying voice didn't stop there, though. "Of course you know exactly where she is, don’t you, Vaugh? Poor thing, you must be so tired of her throwing herself at you."

  "Nicole, stop." I cringed a little at the vicious way he said the words to her.

  "No, I’m really serious now, Vaughn."

  Like a train-wreck, I couldn’t keep my eyes from her as she pulled out her sugary sweet voice and placed her hand on his chest.

  "I mean, why on earth would she think that someone like you with your muscular chest—" Her hand moved down his chest, and I saw red.

  I looked up at Kim and Sarah, who I just realized were watching me closely for my reaction. I couldn’t take it anymore. Dev was right. Who was I hiding it from? I beat a very pissed off path up to Nicole.

  The whole room seemed to quiet down, making the rest of her statement heard very clearly. "And your popularity would be interested in someone as plain as her? She’s a nobody."

  As I reached them, her back was to me. Grabbing her roughly by her shoulder, I shoved her away from Dev. She may sound tough, but she was thinner than me—and not in a good way. She had no athleticism whatsoever. My coordination surpassed hers and, in that moment, I was coordinating how many ways I could beat the crap out of her before one of the coaches stopped me.

  "Get your damn hands off my boyfriend!" I hadn’t yelled, but everyone—and I mean everyone—heard me.

  Her eyes widened, her mouth parted slightly, and she jumped back a bit. She quickly recovered the use of that ugly mouth of hers. "You lying little b—"

  "She’s telling you the truth," Dev said, smiling broadly as he put his arm around me.

  Just to piss her off even more, I turned into his arms, reached up and pulled his lips down to mine. I could hear the whole entire gym collectively gasp, but it didn’t matter to me because Dev wrapped his arm tightly around my waist and cupped my face, holding my lips to his. Not that I needed the encouragement, but the surge of power that overcame me in that moment as people started cheering and whistling around us made me bold enough to keep right on kissing him. If you don’t believe me, you can check YouTube, I’m sure there are at least twenty videos of it up already.

  Eventually, Coach Hayman pulled out his metaphorical bucket of ice water by smacking Dev on the back and stating, "Keep it in your pants, son, there are freshmen present."

  Even with the interference of Coach Hayman, Dev continued to hold tightly to my waist, sweetly touching his lips to mine three or four more times, before finally pulling back. His eyes made every square-inch of me warm and tingly with the intense fire in his deep blue eyes. "So I'm thinking now that dealing with everyone's crap, Jay's lies, and you not letting me tell anyone about us was worth it if you'll kiss me like that again."

  He chuckled deep and rhythmically at my eye-roll, and let go of my waist to take hold of my hand, kissing the back of it sweetly. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks over the very strong urge to kiss him again, coach be damned. I didn't, of course, but by the way he kept staring at my mouth, I could tell it was what we both wanted.

  He didn't leave my side for the rest of the day. Instead, he spent his time running his fingers through my hair, placing his hand on the small of my back, kissing my forehead, and staring down at me with those sexy blue eyes and that cocky grin of his that made my heart start pumping at 90 mph.

  Obviously, I didn’t see Nicole for the rest of the day. It was a total blessing in and of itself for both me and for Dev who commented on being glad to finally get rid of her. With the rain, track and football practice were cancelled leaving Dev free to hang out with me after school. Even though it seemed the day would be my worst day yet in Bishop, it certainly ended on a much more satisfying note. I hoped and prayed that it would continue.

  You Don’t Know Your Own Strength

  The unseasonably warm days of early fall in California seemed to leave overnight as the rain descended, bringing along with it a chilly wind and early nights. Along with the precursors of winter, came the isolation of staying indoors and the completely dreadful flu season. Runny noses, germs everywhere, coughing up your own lung, and listening to your classmates cough up their lungs were never my ideas of nice ways to spend the winter. Nonetheless, the season of illness went running up and down the hallways of Kennedy High not one week after we returned from our camping trip. I
t invaded half the senior class, either sending students to the emergency room with the worst case of stomach flu anyone's ever had the misfortune to witness, or confining them to their homes with bad chest colds. It was tough to even hold classes while the illnesses took their toll.

  While I managed to avoid the plague, Dev was struck by it not three days after we returned from Lone Pine. His philosophy—which he had to email to me since he was too sick to even talk on the phone—was that he had pretty much never been sick his whole life, so clearly his body had been saving it up for him. While nearly everyone seemed to get over it within a week, Dev's case of the stomach flu then the chest cold flu dragged on for almost two weeks.

  At first, I thought this was unusual and worried about him, but he wasn't alone in his plague-like symptoms. Several of the guys in the senior class seemed unable to avoid the double whammy. Thankfully, Jay was one of them, leaving me a few weeks of complete calm. Sonya also got hit with a really awful cough, but Evelyn just refused to let her do absolutely anything until she got better. It seemed to work since Sonya was only sick for about four days.

  With most of the senior guys out sick, the girls were given free reign on the decorations for the homecoming dance. This, of course, led to lots of twinkle lights, fabric drapes, candles, and warm satiny everything. Jay had driven up to the Bay Area to take me to my first formal dance my freshman year, but I hadn't been to one since, and this would be the first one I actually really wanted to be at. Dev still wasn't his normal self, but he had recovered enough to be back at school the week of the dance, and insisted that he was feeling more than up to going. It didn't help that he was pressured into it by the official dance committee since he was a frontrunner in the Homecoming King competition.