“But I don’t understand. Why did he have to shoot Eric? I was closer, the cashier was closer, why Eric? He didn’t have his gun. He never provoked him.”
The strong arms holding her close squeezed tighter. “No one knows why those things happen, Jordan. There was nothing you could’ve done. You have no control over other people’s actions. You have to give yourself a break.”
She stilled. He was right. She knew this, but did he? Jumping at the chance to help him, she pushed her grief aside and pulled back to look into his compassionate face. “You’re right, Cole. We have no control over other people’s actions. That includes Bess’ desire to see you that night and the truck driver’s lack of sleep.”
His jaw clenched and his grip on her tightened. Anger and self-hatred flashed in his eyes, and for a moment, she thought he’d revert back into his old tyrannical self.
Instead, he let her go gently and moved to the railing. “Connor talks too much.”
“He’s just worried about you.” She put her arm around his back and leaned her head on his shoulder. “We all are. You need to give yourself that break you mentioned.”
He glanced sideways at her. “I know and I’ve tried, believe me. It’s just that…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head.
“Let me guess, your mind understands it’s not your fault but your heart doesn’t.” She lifted her head to look into his eyes as she spoke her motto.
“Yes.” He put his arm around her shoulders and expelled a breath.
“Man, McCall, we’re a mess.” She sighed, transferring her grip to his hip as they stood side-by-side, staring out over the land. Who would’ve thought two such level-headed, optimistic people could lose touch with themselves this way. Life was nuts. She dropped her head on his shoulder. “Thanks for talking to me and for listening.”
“Anytime, Jordan, and thanks for doing the same.”
Strong fingers curled around her upper arm as he twisted them around and walked them back to the oversized hammock. If her heart could smile it would have. The gratitude in his tone actually matched his words. Dark, arrogant, Cole seemed to have disappeared. That’s a good change, she thought as they settled into the swaying cloth.
Lying next to him on her back, head pillowed comfortably in the crook of his arm, warmth replaced the deep chill that had invaded her body. Overlooking the tingling sensations where their flesh met, she concentrated on the night sky.
“Jordan?” His low voice interrupted her thoughts. “How did you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Get on with your life?”
Her gut twisted. “Oh, Cole, I won’t kid you. It wasn’t easy. It still isn’t at times, as you can see. But I know it’s what Eric would’ve wanted me to do...and what Bess would’ve wanted you to do, too. So I’ll let you in on a secret,” she said into the darkness. “I couldn’t have done it without my family. That’s why it was so important for me to convey that to you at dinner tonight. I’m just sorry I had to be so brutal.”
“Don’t be,” he gave her a quick squeeze. “It opened my eyes—big time. Thanks.”
“You’re welcome,” she managed to get out before her throat closed and tears rolled across her cheekbones. When her ability to talk returned, she decided to share one more piece of advice. “Over the next few weeks, the urge to retreat back into yourself to stave off the pain is going to be strong,” she told him honestly. “Worrying about how that would affect my family and friends was the only thing that grounded me those first few weeks after my breakthrough.”
She felt him nod.
“I was so wrapped up in myself and my grief, I failed to see theirs,” he admitted quietly. “From now on, I’m going to do my best to remember that.”
Her heart shed some of its heaviness. “Good, Cole. I’m glad.” She smiled and gave him a slight squeeze.
He responded in kind before a large palm covered her hand, calluses scraping her knuckles as he held her fingers in place over his chest. And just like that, the relaxation she sought only an hour before finally made an appearance.
With their hearts and minds opened to each other again, Jordan felt their old connection and friendship re-establishing itself. Strong. Binding. Tight. Under her ear, his heart beat steady and strong and sure. For the first time in years, a satisfying contentment washed through clear to her soul and she closed her eyes and sighed.
Voices and snickering filtered into Jordan’s sleepy mind. Slowly opening her eyes she found Kerri and Connor staring down at her with matching grins.
What are they doing in my bedroom? And who let the birds in?
Birds?
Flying in the background, their chirping appearance tripped her pulse and snapped her fully awake. She glanced at Cole, aware of his warm flesh beneath her clinging body. Clinging? Sometime throughout the night she’d thrown her leg over both of his and her arm hugged a sleekly muscled chest. He stiffened, signaling he too was aware of their entanglement and audience.
She stretched up to look into his confused face.
Guess it’s up to me.
Mischief made her wink, before she dipped her head to kiss his cheek. “Thanks for last night, Cole. You were wonderful. That was the best night I’ve had in years…if not ever.”
His lips twitched into a smile. “Anytime.”
She got to her feet and walked as nonchalantly as possible to her room, shutting the door, leaving Kerri and Connor to draw their own conclusions.
Sunday evening, Jordan was pleasantly surprised to see Cole standing next to Connor in the foyer. She and Kerri had made plans to meet the older McCall brother to hitch a ride with him to the Dalton’s barbeque.
“Jordan, Kerri, you both sure are a picture.” Connor removed his black Stetson and gave her peach dress and Kerri’s lavender sundress the once over. “I hope you’re up to dancing because your cards will be full tonight.”
Cole smiled at them, black Stetson in his hand as well. “A breath of spring.”
“Thank you, boys. You don’t look too shabby yourself.” She eyed the blue-jeaned cowboy-booted men.
Connor wore a red and white plaid shirt. God bless Texas this cowboy truly belonged on a billboard. “I hope you’re part of my full dance card, Connor.” She smiled as she crossed the foyer.
“You bet, sunshine.” He slung the Stetson back on his head.
Turning her attention to Cole, Jordan’s heart warmed. Wearing a gray-striped shirt with the sleeves rolled up, he appeared much more relaxed than the stiff man who just two days ago gave her and Ember a dirt bath. Extremely pleased he was putting forth an effort to socialize but not wanting to make a big deal out of it, she nodded. “I’m glad you’re going, too, Cole.”
“I thought I’d give it a try,” he said quietly, then opened the front door and they all headed to the land rover.
By the time they arrived, the Dalton’s barbeque was in full swing. Guests walked around the side of the sprawling, two-story, wooden ranch with wrap-around porch, complete with swing, into the back where picnic tables dotted the yard along with strung up lights.
Shadow Rock Ranch, though not quite as large as Wild Creek, boasted fourteen hundred impressive acres but wasn’t home to one single calf. The operation was primarily to train and sell stock horses, although Kevin had told her they also fostered rescued and abused horses. A cause near and dear to her and a few friends out west.
Familiar people and some not so familiar greeted them warmly, lingering on Cole. After the initial entrance, his awkwardness subsided, and shoulders lost their stiffness. For the second time that night, his efforts encouraged her to believe he was on the right path.
“Kerri, Jordan, so great to see you again and you too, Cole,” was the repeated greeting they received for five minutes straight.
“Once again, I’m chopped liver,” Connor stated, hat in his hand. The dejected look a little too playful to be taken serious.
“Not you, Connor. You’re more like a thick steak.” Jordan
joked, looping arms as they headed for the food line.
With their plates full of barbequed delights, they made their way to a waving Jen sitting with a handsome light-haired cowboy and cute little boy. Their black-haired, blue-eyed, friend only got prettier. Two months younger than Kerri, Jen had often hung out with them, and the three girls had had lot of fun shadowing the guys.
“It’s great to see you all again.” Jen got up from the table to give them each a tight hug, then turned to the good-looking stocky man who stood up with her. “This is my husband, Brock, he’s the ranch manager here, and this is our son, Cory.” She ruffled the high-chaired toddler’s fair head. “Brock, this is Kerri and Jordan. They used to be our neighbors. And you know Connor and Cole.”
“It’s nice to meet you both.” Brock shook their hands, then greeted the McCall’s like old friends before everyone settled at the table while Kerri and Jordan gushed over Cory.
Kevin appeared from the crowd in faded jeans, blue and white checkered shirt, black Stetson, mirrored aviator sunglasses and that perpetual mischievous grin tugging his lips until his lone dimple showed. Heads turned of the female persuasion as he strolled toward them carrying two pitchers of beer.
“I thought I spotted you all walking in.” Their gorgeous host set the beer down, then laid a hand on Cole’s shoulder. “Glad to see you could make it, buddy.”
Cole nodded.
“You spotted the hot Masters sisters, that’s who you spotted,” Connor teased, helping their friend pour out the beer.
“Well, who can blame me?” Kevin winked, slipping onto the bench between her and Kerri, making them move a little so he could fit.
Connor laughed and she noted a smile from Cole. Sandwiched between him and Kevin, she received several envious glances from female guests. Yeah…today, it’s good to be me.
“Jordan,” Jen said, when the table quieted down. “I’m sorry about your husband. I wish I could’ve met him. He must’ve been something to have captured your heart.” Her friend’s hand snaked out to deftly grab the sippy cup her son aimed at the ground.
“Thanks, Jen,” she replied, her heart giving a slight tug. “Eric was something else and I know he would’ve liked you all too.”
“How did you meet? If you don’t mind me asking.” Kevin surprised her with the question.
“No. I don’t mind.” She turned to him. “Eric was giving a lecture on Criminal Justice at the college I attended. Let’s just say that by the time the class was over, he caught me.” She smiled at the memory, more and more thankful everyday for the good ones.
Jen eyed her from across the table. “How long ago did he die?”
“It was two years last month.”
“Jeez.” Jen blinked. “That’s around the time Bess died, isn’t it Cole?”
He cleared his throat and nodded. “Yes, I guess it was.”
“Did you know Kerri and Jordan own and operate a restaurant now?” Connor asked with a grin.
Jordan could’ve kissed the cowboy’s cheek for deftly changing the subject.
“You two own a restaurant?” Brock’s eyes held interest as he handed a fidgeting Cody an apple slice.
“Yes and it’s doing fairly well, I might add,” Kerri spoke up between bites.
True. They’d had a pretty good year so far. Clientele had increased. Profits were up. Between them and their staff, they were doing something right. Plus, her sister was a genius.
“That’s because of your wonderful cooking,” Jordan boasted. “As you will all get a chance to taste for yourself at the anniversary party next weekend.”
Brock stood up to remove his fussy son from the highchair. “I’m looking forward to it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, somebody needs to be changed.”
“Thanks, hun,” Jen said, touching her husband’s arm.
He smiled down, adoration clearly visible in his green gaze. “Enjoy your visit.” A quick kiss to Jen’s cheek and he was gone, squirming toddler in his big hands. Truly a sweet sight.
The happy couple reminded Jordan of Megan and her husband Shawn and their soon-to-be little one. Had Eric been alive, she might’ve been pregnant right now. A small pang of envy rippled deep. She caught Cole looking at her, a measure of encouragement in his gaze. Clever man no doubt read her thoughts. Expression gentle, smile reassuring, yep, he did. It sure was nice to see his sweet side again. And it was time to take her own advice and move on. She smiled back, then returned her concentration to her meal.
“Kerri, I can remember way back how you were always helping Emma cook and bake while Jordan and I helped eat,” Jen said with a laugh. “Of course, we had to before these two McCalls or my brother or cousin came by, then there would’ve been nothing left.”
“You’re right.” Jordan laughed too while the whole table smiled. “Speaking of cousins, how is Kade?”
“Good. We web-called last night.” Jen smiled, although, worry clouded her gaze.
“I can’t believe he’s still in the Guard,” Kerri remarked.
Jen nodded. “Going on fourteen years, now.”
Kade Dalton had joined the National Guard while he was senior in high school. Jordan vaguely remembered him saying something about the extra income helping around the ranch. Jen’s mom had raised him when his own mother had run off with a rodeo clown two years after his dad had died in the first Gulf War. Kade had already been living on the ranch, his mother running off only made it permanent. Something the eleven year old boy had needed. Stability. All things she’d grown up to know as fact since she’d barely been five and too young to actually remember the events as they’d happened.
Jordan reached across the table to squeeze Jen’s hand. “He’ll be okay. He’s smart.”
Kerri added her hand. “And capable.”
“I know.” Jen nodded and managed a smile. “He was promoted to Captain after his last tour.”
“Don’t forget tenacious,” Connor added, grin tugging his mouth.
Yes, Jordan could certainly see that description fitting the young cowboy she remembered. And despite the edge that had shadowed him, he was also the most helpful person she’d ever met.
Kevin chuckled. “True. My cuz could stare down the most ornery stallion.”
“And win,” Cole stated firmly, lifting his beer. “To Kade.”
Everyone tipped their drink to their missing buddy and Jordan decided to lighten the mood.
“Well, now I know why I haven’t seen him kicking Connor’s butt in basketball at Wild Creek.”
“Hey!” Connor sat up straight and frowned, half-eaten rib in his hand. “I kick ass, too.”
“No, buddy, you grab ass,” Kevin said, causing the table to laugh. “My cousin is the one out of all four of us who oozes athletic ability.”
“True, although, I can out-ride him.” Connor nodded, before bringing his cup to his lips.
Jordan knew from her parents what he said to be true. Connor held several records at the local rodeo.
“You’d better give him that one, Kevin or he’ll whine like a baby all night.” Cole smirked at his brother’s frowning form.
“Bullshit, I do not whine. I do not,” Connor insisted and they all broke out laughing.
As the taller McCall had predicted, the dance requests started to come in for both her and Kerri, putting an end to their conversation and meal.
Several dances with Kevin, a couple with Connor and a few with some other guests later, Jordan joined Cole in the food line for a pick-me-up, happy to find herself alone with him as they headed to an empty table. He poured them both a cold beer. After taking a much needed sip, she studied him.
“How are you doing, Cole? Do you want to leave?”
“No. I’m having a good time.” He blinked, sounding surprised by his answer. “I’ve been talking with a some of my co-workers and I even made plans with a few of them to go fishing next month,” he said, smiling into his beer.
A second later, his gaze lifted and he sent her a sincere look across t
he table. Damn her pulse for leaping. She really needed to do something about that. Cole was her dear friend. Nothing more. She’d do well to remember that.
“Thanks for asking, Jordan.”
Damn her pulse for racing.
Two short days since his breakthrough and she already noticed a few small changes in him. The best one was in his eyes. Her heart swelled just thinking about the difference. Incredibly, they no longer reflected his hard name and, although they still held sadness, there were smidges of hope and amusement flickering through the warm, brown depths.
Those were the eyes that were dangerous to her heart. They were the ones that had haunted her since she’d moved to California, coming between other boys, then eventually men. Except for Eric. She inhaled and found a sense of calm.
Every bit of that was in her past.
Moving on…
Falling into a companionable silence, they ate their barbeque and watched the dancers. Connor and Kerri two-stepped past their table. They looked good together. No, they actually looked great together. Jordan was struck by how naturally they moved, not to mention the flush in her sister’s face and sparkle in Connor’s eyes.
“Your brother and my sister sure stand out among the crowd.”
“That they do,” Cole agreed with a smile and a nod.
The next hour and a half fulfilled her imaginary dance card. Sure were a lot of eager cowboys. Jordan figured she’d pretty much danced with them all, except Cole. But he wasn’t dancing and she hadn’t asked. It was enough that he came. She certainly hadn’t expected him to jump into normal mode. Besides, the last thing she wanted, okay, maybe wanted wasn’t exactly the right word, the last thing she needed were his hands on her. She wasn’t stupid. This version of Cole was a danger to her healing heart.
As the party began to break up, Jordan stood next to Cole, Kerri, and Connor, and said goodbye to their hosts.
Kevin drew close and grabbed both her hands. “Have dinner with me this week, Jordan.”
Her Fated Cowboy (Harland County Series) Page 11
