by Mia Ford
Actually, there was something a little familiar about him too, but I can’t work out what. Maybe it’s nothing, maybe he just has one of those faces that feels really familiar, whatever it is I like it.
I’ve been constricted for far too long, mostly because of my own failings. I lazily let things stay the way they are. Then I started trying to live how Katherine told me I should, but that isn’t me either. I don’t know what I want to do yet, but I’m going to use this time to work it out. With money coming my way, I can buy myself a while before I have to take the plunge and try and join the real world again. Now is all about fun, and right now I want this fun to include the super handsome guy sitting right next to me. He seems awesome.
“I work in a boring office, a bit like the one it seemed you managed to avoid, but I suppose much less pretentious. We make and sell office equipment to other just as dull companies.”
I laugh and slide my body closer to his, inhaling deeply. I like his manly smell it makes me feel things deep in the pit of my stomach. I haven’t ever been the sort of forward person to think about sex so quickly before, but now screw it! Why shouldn’t I? I could be freaking dead at the bottom of the stairs for crying out loud.
“Sounds like you hate it,” I enquire. “Why don’t you leave? Because you’re saving up for your trip?”
I love the idea of his trip, it sounds incredible. Seeing the world, being as free as a bird, that’s what I want.
“Yep. I eat noodles every day, share my small space with a roommate, and work a job I hate for the trip.”
“It must be really important to you.” My thigh brushes his. I’ve upped the flirting. “It’s exciting.”
“Oh yeah, it sure is.” His eyes light up, giving me an insight into him. This is his passion, it’s what thrills him. I kinda hope I can become one of the things to thrill him too. “I can’t wait, it’s going to be amazing to escape.”
“Wow, that’s awesome. So, is there anywhere you want to go, Logan?” I love the way his name feels on my tongue. It’s like pure sex, it makes me shiver lightly. “Anywhere that really captivates you?”
“Oh, Tokyo, London, Berlin…” He shakes his head, bemused. “Just everywhere really.”
The clackity clack sound comes to a stop much too quickly. I already know that once we rise and we leave this carriage, everything will change. He’ll have to go his way and I can go mine. We might talk for a little while longer but we won’t be in our little bubble, and I really love our bubble. I don’t want it to pop.
I glance at him out the corner of my eye, wondering if there’s a way I can keep this going. I just feel a really powerful connection with him that burns deep down to my core. Of course, he’s seriously easy on the eyes too which helps. If I’m going to really embrace this whole living in the moment thing then I need to just go for it.
“You know, if you ever want to talk travel destinations, we could always go for a drink sometime.”
I try to keep my tone and body language light hearted so I don’t come across as a crazy person, but I don’t know if Logan fully buys it. He looks shocked to be honest, as if he didn’t expect me to be so bold. I have to though, he seems too shy to take that step himself. I don’t know if he’d ever ask me out.
“Oh, r… right, sure,” he stammers back, his eyes darting everywhere. “When were you thinking?”
Might as well go with now. “Well, since I’m getting paid today, why not go out tonight? It’s Friday, it could be fun. I can get you a drink and maybe even dinner if you’re a good boy.” I wink, going too far. “Or not…”
“No, that’s a good idea. But I will be the one buying you dinner.”
“But you’re saving up for your trip, I’m going to be flush today…”
“Nope. I insist.” He digs into his pocket and pulls out a business card. “I’ve had this for two years and never needed it so I might as well give it to you.” His smile touches my heart. “Give me a text or something.”
We get swept up in the crowds as we leave the train, the crowd pulls us in different directions. It’s heart breaking, but I suppose it doesn’t matter too much because I know I can see him later. That’s why carpe diem is such a good lesson. If I hadn’t been bold then I would be cursing myself forever. Now, because I stepped out of my comfort zone and I just went for it, I have a date with the most gorgeous man ever.
I clutch his business card to my chest, grinning to myself. He’s helped me to get over the nerves as well, I’m not too concerned with stepping into this place. Him and my trusty biker boots with amazing grip will not let me down. I feel strong and confident, powerful and ready to tackle this head on. It’s going to be just fine.
“Katherine!” I call into my cell phone the moment I step out of the building. “I’m out, I’ve done it!”
“You’re out of your meeting?” she hisses back, clearly at work. I should feel bad about that but I don’t. “How did it go? Did you get a nice fat check from those assholes with the dangerous building?”
“I did.” I smirk, stepping away from the building before they can change their mind. “Nearly one hundred thousand dollars, more than I even knew existed in money, can you believe it?”
I giggle, my chest freeing its excitement. This is more than just finding myself money, this gives me a real good time to get myself sorted. I’m going to really make it now… somehow.
“You did not! I’m glad, of course I am, but I cannot believe that they gave you that much. They must know it was their fault. Obviously it was, their floors had to be ridiculous, but… well, wow, I’m just shocked.”
“I know. Me too. My eyes almost popped out my head when I saw the amount.”
“So, you’re coming over to mine to celebrate tonight, right? I think drinks should be on us.”
“Actually…” I feel a heat creeping through my body but it’s combined with a pride. “I have a date tonight.”
“You do?” She gives that funny shrieking tone again. “With who?”
“A cute guy I met on the train.” My heart flip fops at the thought of him. “He’s really nice. Logan.”
“Hmm, yeah. Well we all know about you and guys on trains.” I don’t know what she means by that but I don’t get the chance to ask. “But that’s great news. We’ll have to celebrate tomorrow instead.”
“What am I going to wear?” That thought suddenly hits me. “I haven’t been on a date in forever.”
“You just got a fat check, you crazy bird! Go and buy something new.”
I think about the money sitting in my bank account and I know now that every penny doesn’t matter. I can spend it frivolously and not worry because the terrible fall has now turned into some very positive changes. I didn’t get the job but I got more money than I would have anyway, and I have a date as well. I have it all.
“Yeah, you know what, I think you’re right. I think I will. I have a feeling this is going to be the one, you know. The date which gets me back out there and into the dating world. I can’t wait for it.”
I actually feel a little deeper than that. I think I might actually be about to stumble onto something incredible. I don’t want to jinx it by saying anything to Katherine because she’ll turn it into a massive deal, but I think this might be the start of a brand new love story. I have that delicious feeling inside.
“Right, I have to go, I’m going to get on the train to go to the store but I’ll video call you later to show you what I’m wearing then you can tell me if I look good or not.”
“You always look good, but I’ll speak to you then anyway. See ya, Tamara!”
I hang up and smile to myself, internally cheering. I never expected this day to happen, I didn’t expect life to turn out so wonderfully. This is just further proof that I was supposed to leave everything behind. Whatever comes next it’s going to be much nicer than what I had before. I can’t wait to explore it.
“So, what do you think?” I ask Katherine nervously, while turning the camera to try and sh
ow every angle of the midnight blue dress. “Does it look alright? It cost me a damn fortune. More than my month’s rent.”
“You don’t have to worry about money for now, and good thing too because you look incredible. That is money well spent. I’m starting to think that maybe I should end up rich. I need a promotion. Maybe I should start sleeping with my boss or whatever it is people do to make their way to the top these days.”
“Don’t ask me, I have no idea. I never got into the rat race, remember?”
“No, but somehow you lucked out anyway. You got the money and maybe the boy too.”
My heart thunders in my chest as I think about the messages from Logan sitting in my phone, arranging where we’re going to meet. The closer it gets, the more the excitement builds. This date is going to be everything. It makes me smile like I’ve got a coat hanger stuck between my lips. Even remembering our conversation from the train makes me happy. We had a connection, a real serious one. Better than I ever had with Pete.
“I’m jealous.” Katherine pouts out her bottom lip. “I want to go out on a date. See if he has any friends.”
“Well, I want to check if it’s going to work out first!” I laugh. “I don’t want it to get awkward because we hate each other so you and his friend can start sleeping together. One step at a time, Katherine.”
“Yeah, yeah, I suppose. Well you just have an awesome time. Text me later on. I want to know how it goes.”
“I will.” I really hope I have good news for her. I want to keep this streak of luck going. “Speak soon. And thank you for your help! I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I race to the window and look out, wondering how he’s going to turn up to pick me up. Does he drive? Will he hire a car? Or maybe walk? I really don’t mind. The romance of the night fills me up anyway. I feel a deep fluttering all the way at my core. Anticipation circles my veins, it fills me up. Any minute now.
7
Logan
I stare at my cell phone screen in sheer disbelief. This is all so wild. One moment, I’m dreaming about the beautiful, crazy girl from the train, the next minute she’s texting me asking me to meet her for dinner. My life has gone from painstakingly normal to crazy all in a few hours’ time. I can barely wrap my head around it.
“What’s that smile?” Alistair asks me with curiosity lacing his tone. “That looks like a sex smile to me.”
“A sex smile?” I barely even dart my eyes up to look at him. “What do you mean by that?”
“Well, okay I’ll put it in a way that suits you better. The sort of smile that suggests you’ve met a woman.” When I don’t say anything for a beat too long, he jumps on it. “You have, haven’t you? You dog! Tell me all about her. Where did you meet? What does she look like? When will the wedding date be?”
I know that he’s teasing me because I’m more relationship inclined that him but this does make the smile on my lips falter just a little bit. “There is something a bit weird about how we met, if I’m honest.”
“Ooh yeah?” Al wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. “Sounds juicy. Spill it all.”
“I didn’t tell you about this at the time because it was such a… I don’t know, a shocking event.” His eyes widen with expectation. “I was on the train going to work a couple of weeks back, and there was a beautiful woman smiling at me. She’s tall, slender, with the most amazing brunette hair I’ve seen. Green eyes too.”
“She sounds hot. Why has it taken you so long to ask her out?”
“I’m getting to that part! So, I walked over to her to strike up a conversation but the train jolted to a stop. I had a coffee in my hands and it flew out all over her, covering her.” I still cringe internally at the memory. “So, she started yelling because she was supposed to have a job interview or something. It got messy.”
“How did you not tell me about this?” Alistair chuckles. “It sounds hilarious.”
I try to smile but I don’t agree. There was nothing funny about any of that to me. It crushed me. “Well, anyway, she got off the train and I haven’t seen her since. I guess I presumed she didn’t get the job and that was it.”
“Please tell me you didn’t torture yourself over it.” He rolls his eyes at me. “Accidents happen, you know.”
I choose not to give that comment any weight. “And then today… I saw her again!”
“Ooh, like fate intervening. What a romantic story. Did she lose her shit again?”
My lips turn down into a frown. “No, she didn’t mention it at all actually. Not directly. She didn’t mention the coffee incident anyway. She just said that after a horrible interview she fell down the stairs and hit her head hard so the company was giving her a pay out so she wouldn’t sue. It was all a little bit weird. Good weird though.”
“Okay, well that’s good.” Al makes a sweeping gesture with his hands. “She’s telling you it all worked out in the end. She’s probably just bouncing around the coffee thing because she overreacted about it.”
This is what I suspect to, but to hear it from someone else is powerful, it carries more truth somehow. “You think? It threw me a bit, it probably made me act a bit spacy because I was trying to figure her out.”
Alistair laughs as if this is the funniest thing he’s ever heard. “Mate, the day you start trying to work women out is the first day you end up going insane. They’re like a minefield, you’ve got no hope. Anyway, you must have been alright because you asked her out on a date, so that’s something. And she said yes.”
“Actually… she kind of asked me out.” It felt a little embarrassing to admit this to such a ladies’ man but I need him to know the full extent of everything so I can get the best advice. “I wanted to but I couldn’t do it because of what happened before. Because she hadn’t addressed it, I felt all weird about it.”
Al pats me on the shoulder and gives me a knowing look. “This is all really good news. She wants to go on a date with you. You need to stop reading more into it or you’ll end up screwing it up. It sounds like you have a good thing going with this girl, it was obviously just a bad moment in which you caught her in the first place.”
He’s right. I do need to get out of my head if I don’t want to lose what could potentially be amazing. I nod and agree with him, mentally steeling myself for my first date in a very long time. This is going to be intimidating enough without me trying to pick apart the character of someone I hardly know. Perhaps this is just how she is. That’s one of those quirks I’ll have to get used to as time goes on. It’s unhelpful to make assumptions.
“Right, well I’m going to get dressed then I’m going to head out. I don’t want to be late.”
“Here.” Al chucks me his keys. “Take my car. I think you might need it to impress the girl who’s captured your heart… at least enough to get you out of the funk that you’ve been in. Take it, have fun.”
“But… don’t you need it tonight?” I’m shocked, he’s so precious about his car.
“I don’t. I’ll be fine. I want you to have a good night… just not in the car, okay?”
Despite his crude assumption that we’re going to be having sex on the very first date, I appreciate the gesture. It’s these sorts of things that make me really appreciate him as a friend. The rest of the world don’t often get to see this side of him, and I’m sure if they did his tough veneer would crack. He’s a truly awesome guy.
“Thank you, Al, that’s amazing. I appreciate it.”
“Now, go dress to impress, and make this worth my while. You know I wouldn’t give up my car for just anyone. It’s ‘cuz you’re special to me, you crazy bastard.”
He pulls me in for a half hug, a man hug, before shoving me into my bedroom. There, I’m faced with the minefield of shirts and tee shirts to choose from. I need to pick right to set the tone. I don’t want to go too dressy and look like I’m expecting too much and I don’t want to go too casual either. I wish I could call her up and ask what she’s wearing, but I suppose this is one
of the joys of a first date. The mystery, the surprise…
And Tamara is one hell of a mystery, I’ll give her that much. She’s got me feeling all kinds of things. Yes, I need to look good for her because I want this to get amazingly. I need it all to run smooth.
I try to think about how I enticed Laura to be mine before I lost her, just to give me some pointers about what I did, but it’s no use. We were in the same friendship circle for a long time beforehand. It wasn’t a bolt of lightning, more a slow creeping sensation that came up on me without me really noticing. I didn’t ever really have to do anything to impress her because she already knew me well enough. There was no point in trying to hide me because she knew me. Then we just fell into step and went from there. It felt heady and exciting to me, but I suppose it wasn’t really. The rush of love was but the actual relationship wasn’t. There was no adventure.
Maybe that’s what she tried to create when she cheated on me. I wonder if she found it with him…
No, I curse myself. I don’t wonder that at all. I don’t even care, this isn’t about that.
I don’t want to think about my ex when I have something new and amazing to think about. She’s long gone now. I’ll just have to hope that myself is enough this time around too because I don’t know if I’m one for impressing. I guess I’m not too sure how to be anyone but myself. I hope that’s okay.
I pull on a pale blue shirt which I’ve teamed with some dark trousers. I decide not to go for a tie because that might be pushing it. I want to be smart casual, I don’t want to look like I’m missing the office! Then once I’m done, I leave my bedroom to seek approval from Alistair, who’s much better at this than me.
“You look swell, mate.” He gives me a genuine smile. “Now, go on. Get out of here.”
All the drive over to the address that Tamara has given me is filled with anxiety. Partly because I cannot crash this car, it’s Alistair’s pride and joy, but also because I’m about to see her again. I don’t know how it’s going to be now. The last two times we’ve come face to face it’s been unexpected. This is planned. This is heavier, much more real. Of course I’m excited, I would be an idiot not to be, but I do have fear as well.
