by Mia Ford
We collapse onto the bed next to one another, panting heavily. Logan slips his hand into mine and he tugs me a little closer to him. I snuggle against his chest and listen intently to his racing heart. Each beat feels like it’s for me, each pump brings me to back alive, Logan brings me to life. I’ve been living again since I met him.
“Soon, we’ll be looking at all kinds of ceilings, all over the world,” Logan chuckles. “Can you believe it?”
I don’t even answer him, I just smile through the post coital pleasure and nod. He’s right. Soon we’ll be seeing the wonders of the world, and I’ll be one of them now that my memories are returning. Against all the odds.
“I just can’t wait to get on the plane, that’s going to be the best part. Flying away, leaving all of this behind. I don’t even have to go into work for much longer. I can’t wait to leave that damn office too.”
I almost as him if he’ll go back, but then I manage to stop myself at the last moment. I don’t want to think about afterwards and I’m sure he doesn’t either. Life might be very different when we get back, there’s just no way of knowing. I’m excited for that part too, I can’t wait until that happens. The after bit where we get back to real life. Me and Logan, finally taking on the real world safe in the knowledge that we have what it takes.
27
Logan
I inhale deeply, breathing in the weirdly clean smell since there are so many people here. They must use some crazy good disinfectant to get it like that… although why I’m focusing on that part, I’m not too sure. This day isn’t about the cleanliness or the bright lights. It’s about the first day of my trip, the thing that I’ve been planning forever. It’s finally here, and now that I’m actually going through it, it doesn’t quite feel real.
“This is exciting, isn’t it?” Tamara gleefully grips my hand. “I can’t believe we’re really here.”
“I know, it’s awesome. It took us a while to get here though.”
“I can’t either,” Al grumbles by my side. “I didn’t think it would ever get to this point.”
“Well, of course you wouldn’t think that.” Katherine rolls her eyes at him. “You never had faith.”
“I never had faith? Wasn’t I the one who was all excited about helping Tamara out?”
“I helped too, there’s no way you can take all the credit…”
“I cannot believe that I gave up my bed for you. Never again.”
Me and Tamara share a look and roll our eyes. We’re used to this now, the constant arguing. It never gets quite as vicious as it did on that first night so now we just leave them to it. There’s no point in getting involved. They will just continue to argue it out, over an over again, and never get anywhere. It’s pointless.
I flick my eyes over the stores in the front of the airport, trying to lure us in with their bright colors and lights. They’re all offering something that may or may not be needed on a flight; travel pillows, adaptors, seat belt extenders… but I’m not about to be lured in by the sky high prices. I’ve done my research, I have it all.
Then I spot the check in desks. Rows and rows of queuing systems with well dresses employees at the other end. Each airline has its own color of uniform, it’s like a clique or something. I already know that we’re going to the blue one, but my eyes devour them all hungrily in awe. I haven’t ever flown before, this will be my first time, and I’m super excited. It’s all shiny and new, filling me with glee. I’m glad I’m not doing this alone.
“So, are you bastards going then?” Al shrugs his shoulders. “You know I hate long goodbyes.”
“Yeah right, as if you’re not going to miss me. You’ll be so lonely… unless it becomes a sex dungeon. Just try not to make too much of a mess of it, okay? I can’t come back to a real state.”
He rolls his eyes dramatically. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll clean up, don’t you worry about it. And it won’t be a sex dungeon, you make it sound like I’m so seedy.” I give him a look. “I’m not that bad!”
He yanks me to him and pulls me in for a hug. It actually feels nice to embrace him before we go, it’s an acknowledgement of all that we’ve been through together. We’ve always been great mates, but now that he’s been such a rock for me, our friendship is even deeper. I know that I can count on him for anything.
“You have a good time, mate.” He pats me on the back. “Enjoy it. You deserve it.”
Once he’s done he moves over to hug Tamara and Katherine pulls me in to her. She isn’t someone that I would have been friends with otherwise, but I’m glad that I got to meet her. She’s a nice person who will do anything for anyone. Maybe a bit of a workaholic, at least according to Tamara, but sweet and kind too.
“You take care of my friend, okay?” Her voice is thick with emotion. “I know that you’ve looked after her well for the last few weeks, which is the only reason I’m letting you steal her from me, just… be good to her.”
“I love her, Katherine, I really do,” I reassure her. “I won’t let anything bad happen to her.”
“I know you won’t. And keep in touch, okay? Email me, and stuff. Keep in touch. Let me know where you are, I don’t want to spend the whole time imagining you captured by pirates or something.”
“Pirates?” I let out a belly laugh. “We’ll do our best to avoid pirates.”
She pulls away from me and takes hold of Tamara. While they hug and weep a bit I can hear words murmuring between them. I can’t make out anything being said, but it seems to be a lot about missing one another. I smile to myself, knowing that it’ll be hard but also that we’re going to have such a good time. It’ll be worth it.
“It won’t be long until we’re back. Only six months. Then it’ll be life as normal.”
But to me six months feels like forever. It’s a massive expanse of time for us to complete our plans. We can’t see everything that was on our list, that would have just taken up too much time and money, but we’ve narrowed it down to the essentials and I can’t damn well wait. It’s so soon, it’s here right now!
“Yeah, I suppose it’ll fly by.” Katherine pouts out her bottom lip as if she doesn’t quite believe her words at all. “Six months, that’s nothing, is it? And then it’ll be all back to normal. Pick up where we left off.”
“You two be kind to each other.” I point between Katherine and Al teasingly, as if I’m an angry dad or something. “Don’t kill each other while we’re away. I don’t want to return and see you all torn into pieces.”
Al shrugs and smirks. “We don’t even need to see one another for the next six months, do we? There’s no reason for us to hang out at all. We’ll be just fine until we end up back here to pick you both up.”
“Yeah, I guess so.” I can’t hide how I feel about that. “Six months for all of us, then.”
I suppose that’s true but it makes me sad to think about. Our lives will completely separate while we’re away. But I guess it doesn’t matter, there’s no reason for them to stay friends. “Okay well I guess we’ll see you then.”
I take Tamara’s hand and lead her towards the check in desk, waving to our friends as we go. Katherine and Al pull away from one another. They separate just like they’re going to do the whole time we’re away. The group that I got together to help Tamara is done. For now, anyway. We’ll be back, I’m sure.
“See you soon!” I smile and wave. “See you when we get back!”
“Bye, both of you. Make sure you have the best time. We want to hear all about it.”
“I don’t,” Al joins in. “Just the highlights, but have fun anyway.”
Katherine and Al both turn away from us and leave the airport, and only me and Tamara remain. We drag our cases along, check them in then head towards the security checks area. Even that part is exciting to me since it’s something I haven’t ever been through before, even taking off my shoes and belt is fun. Maybe walking through the metal detector will get old when I’ve done it a few times, but for now I like it.
“Right.” Tamara looks up at the departure boards. “I guess we have some time to kill. So, what do we do?”
We spend the next couple of hours wandering through the shops, grabbing food and drink wherever it’s on offer, remarking on where we think other travelers might be going on holiday, and it’s fun. With Tamara laughing and joking alongside me, it’s the best time ever. Every second of it feels magical. I’m so glad that she’s back, I love having the girl from the train by my side. She makes it all feel better. Thank God she came back to me. Both times. Twice I’ve almost lost her, once after we first met and second after she lost herself. I’m lucky that she’s still here. I want to make sure she’s always in my life, I couldn’t go on without her now.
And then are plane is called and I grab onto Tamara’s hand again. It’s time to board. To get started on our journey. It’s time to finally see what the world has to offer me. It’s been such a long time coming, pouring over books, imagining, researching, and now it’s about to happen. It doesn’t get better than this.
“Come on then.” I tug her along with me. “It’s time. Let’s get ready to fly.”
My heart explodes with joy as I set foot on brand new land. Japanese land at that. Tokyo was always going to be a must for me, it’s my interest in Japan which got me started on this plan anyway, so I figured it best we come here first. I can already feel the new culture soaking up in my lungs. As I turn to see Tamara I can see the same wide eyed excitement in her too. The flashing neon lights of the city reflect in her gaze.
“Is that actually a giant Godzilla coming out the top of the cinema?” She clutches onto her chest. “Thank goodness I fell down the stairs and got enough compensation money to come here. I wouldn’t miss this for the world! Oh, my goodness, and look at all the stores. I can’t wait to do some shopping… oh but I suppose not too much since we still have loads of other places to go. Don’t let me forget this isn’t just a holiday.”
“Yeah, it’s going to be a long one.” I pull her closer to me. “With some arguments along the way no doubt.” She gives me a narrow eyed look. “What? We can argue now, can’t we? It’ll never be our first one…”
“Will you stop reminding me?” She shoves me playfully. “I thought we were past that now. Looking forwards. Look where we are, we aren’t even in America anymore. We can’t talk about the past.”
“No, I suppose not.” But I can’t resist one last dig. “But I won’t buy any coffee around you.”
Tamara juts out her chin while she chooses to take the high road and ignore me. “We better get to the hotel, I promised that I’d send Katherine an email as soon as we landed and you know that she’ll be freaking out already.”
“Yeah okay, then I want to get out and try some of the famous Japanese food that you hear so much about. It’s supposed to be the best in the world. Sushi, Ramen, Katsu, I want to try it all.”
“Lucky we’re here for a while then!” She bounces on her toes as if she can’t contain herself, which admittedly is exactly how I feel. “I also want to go to that restaurant where you can watch robots shoot lasers at each other the entire time. We have to do that while we’re here, where else in the world will we get that?”
“I don’t know, but I suppose we’ll find out when we get there.” She gives me a side eyed look. “Okay, so probably nowhere. But I have to hold out hope. After all, robots and lasers, what more could I want?”
Tamara tosses her head back and laughs. “I know, right? But I’m sure we’ll find out.”
“I love you so much.” The love flows from me like lava. I love her more than I ever have. There’s something about this experience already that makes me appreciate her even more. “I’m so glad you’re here with me.”
She turns to give me a kiss. As she leans in to me, the Tokyo skyline behind her makes her look wonderful. “I love you too, you know. And this is going to be the trip of a life time, just you wait and see.”
28
Tamara
Six months later…
“It’s going to feel really weird getting back, isn’t it?” I smile at Logan, loving him even more than the day we left for our trip six months ago. “It feels like we’ve been gone forever, doesn’t it?”
“I know, it’s odd.” His skin is still tanned from the African sun. I wonder how long it’ll take for that to fade. I hope it doesn’t, I think we both look a lot better with it. “It’s going to take some getting used to.”
“It’s just a shame that we can’t start immediately planning another trip, I had a lot of fun.”
“No, not right away, but it doesn’t mean we have to stay away completely, does it? We can still do another trip, just maybe not one as big. My wallet won’t stretch that far and unless you’re willing to have another fall…”
I shake my head rapidly. “No way, never again. There’s no way I can go through that again. That was a nightmare. I mean, what if I lose more memories? I haven’t fully got back the other ones and I don’t think I ever will. I don’t want more of my life o go missing, no matter what the reward is! It can’t be enough.”
“No, no, I know, I’m only joking. I wouldn’t want you to go through that again either.”
“Oh look!” I jump up as fast as I can from my seat. “The bags are coming around now.”
We have far more to pick up that we left with, but that’s hardly surprising. We’ve picked up all kinds of things along the way to decorate our place when we get one together. We’ll always have the memories to keep us going. I’ve tried to get things truly representative of each place so I can have lots to remind me. The house we eventually get is going to look incredible. It has to happen now, we cannot go from spending every day together to living separately. I’d have separation anxiety now, I’m so used to having him there by my side, making me smile every single day. Yes, we did have the odd row, but nothing too bad. The trip has only confirmed what I already knew. That we can make this last long term and that we’re meant to be together. He’s my world.
“Oh look, there are our bags.” Logan reaches across the carousel and grabs them all. Like the perfect gentleman he is he takes them all without even asking me to hold one of them. He needs to be careful, I’m getting really used to being treated like a princess. “Come on then, the others will be waiting for us. We can’t leave them alone for too long unless we want the airport to be torn to shreds under the Katherine and Al hurricane.”
“Who knows,” I comment with a hopeful shrug. “Maybe they are friends now. Anything could have happened in the last six months. They could have spent every day together because they’ve been so lonely. They could be best mates now with loads of memories that don’t involve us. They might always want to hang out just the two of them now. Perhaps we’ve been gone for so long that we’ve become redundant. It’s possible, right?”
“Hmmm… I doubt that very much. I bet what they said is right and they haven’t seen each other in six long months,” Logan replies warily. “Which has given them plenty of time to find new things to argue about. They might have been stewing over their hatred for one another and now it’s going to all explode in one giant mess.”
“That’s true.” I nod emphatically. “Come on, let’s get out there before they’re arrested.”
“Yeah, plus I’m pretty keen to see what’s going on since we’ve been away. Now that we’re back, I want to know all the gossip again. Don’t you feel that way? Like you want to catch up.”
“Yeah… I kinda do actually. I wonder if there have been any big life changes since we’ve been gone.”
Logan smiles knowingly at me. “There’s only one way to find out. Let’s get going!”
We move through the crowds as quickly as we can, getting through customs with the sort of speed that can only come with experience. Flying so much has taught me all sorts about airlines. We’re like pros now. Since neither of us had done any of it beforehand it was quite a big shock. We’re used to it now though.
It isn’t l
ong until we’re in the arrivals lounge searching for Katherine and Al. I thought they’d be at the gate waiting for us, but we’re wrong. they don’t seem to be anywhere to be found.
“We definitely told them the right day?” I ask, my brain confused. “We’ve been in so many time zones it’s hard to keep track. And we told them the right terminal and gate number? I thought they’d be here with signs.”
“I emailed Katherine the flight details, I figured she would be more reliable than Al. Maybe they forgot?”
I shake my head. There’s no way I can see that. Katherine wouldn’t just forget about me, she isn’t like that at all. She’s the most organized person I know, and I’m well aware that she’s keen for me to come back because we’ve been in communication the whole time. The wonders of the Internet have made it very easy.
“I suppose we should just get a cab then?” I give Logan a helpless shrug. “See them later on.”
He hugs me, sensing my disappointment. “I know it’s a bit of a letdown because we were so excited to see them, but there has to be some good reason. You know they wouldn’t just forget about us.”
I feel bad, as if I’m being selfish but it’s not like I’m holding out for a royal welcome. I just thought they would be here, that’s all. I’ve been so excited to tell Katherine about everything I’ve been through and all my good news. I assumed that she was just as keen to hear it. Now I feel a bit crappy about myself…
“Tamara!” I jump as I hear Katherine’s voice echoing through the building. “We’re here, we’re here, I’m so sorry that we’re late.” I turn to see both her and Al; racing towards us looking very harassed. “We planned to get here super early but as you know, Alistair can’t do anything on time.” She rolls her eyes at me which I can only just about see. “Then the traffic was horrendous, don’t let me get into that. So, I’m sorry, but I’m here.”
She embraces me hard and as we hug I inhale her familiar scent. I’ve missed her more than I care to admit, I’ve just been too busy to notice it until now. I’m so glad that I’m back to see her.
