Scandal

by Heather Cullman

  She rose at the sight of Julia, smiling in welcome as she rushed forward to greet her. Though Bethany was always lovely, she looked particularly so today, dressed as she was in a frilled blue and white dotted gown with her hair arranged in an artless cascade of curls. Taking both Julia's hands in hers to give them an affectionate squeeze, she said, "You are such a dear to help me this afternoon. I cannot thank you enough."

  Julia gave her hands a squeeze in return. "There is no need to thank me, dear. We are sisters now, and sisters help each other. Is that not so?"

  Bethany's smile broadened, her soft pink lips parting to display her pearly teeth. Like all the Harwoods, she was blessed with excellent teeth. "Yes, we truly are sisters." She dropped Julia's hands to give her a quick hug. "Oh, I am so happy that you are here, Julia. I cannot tell you how many times I have longed for a sister my own age with whom I could talk and share confidences. And now my wish has come true."

  "As has mine, for I, too, have wished for such a sister," Julia admitted honestly.

  Bethany pulled back from their hug, smiling with a radiance that would have made Julia envious of her beauty had she not been so kindly disposed toward her. Looping her arm through Julia's to lead her toward the bed, she said,

  "Then let us be the best and dearest of sisters, and vow to come to one another when we find ourselves troubled or in need of advice."

  Julia smiled back, nodding her agreement. By now they had drawn near enough to the bed for her to see that there were stacks of tiny garments laid out on the pink coverlet. On the floor nearby sat an open trunk, waiting to receive them.

  "I know that I should have put these away weeks ago, but I simply could not bring myself to do it," Bethany murmured, stopping at the edge of the bed. Her face was tender, her eyes shadowed as she gazed down at the only thing left of the child she had never known, and would never have the chance to know.

  Julia wrapped her arm around Bethany's shoulder to draw her close, giving what small solace she could offer. "There is no wrong in keeping them near, not if they give you comfort."

  "They do," Bethany whispered, reaching down to pick up one of the garments. It was a beautifully stitched pelisse of striped linen, trimmed with frothy muslin frills. "For all that my baby never drew a breath in this world, I still loved it." She smiled gently, wistfully, at the dainty wrap in her hands, her expression growing dreamy and faraway. "Oh, what hopes I had for it, what wonderful plans. I used to imagine all the marvelous things we would do together . . . the games we would play, the stories I would tell, how I would sing it to sleep at night and wake it with kisses in the morning." She looked at Julia then, her beautiful sapphire eyes clouded with tears. "Did you know that it was a girl? A beautiful daughter."

  Julia shook her head, her own vision blurring in sadness at the other woman's grief. This was the first time Bethany had expressed pain at losing her baby, and while Julia had guessed that she felt some sorrow at the loss, she also could not help wondering if, perhaps, she was not a bit relieved as well. After all, the child would have been a bastard, a constant reminder of her shame.

  Now feeling shame at herself for having imagined sweet Bethany capable of such selfishness, Julia hugged her closer and crooned, "Of course she was beautiful. How could she not be with you as her mother?"

  Bethany smiled tremulously, visibly fighting her tears. "She could have grown up to resemble her father, and she still would have been beautiful. He was an inordinately handsome man."

  "Indeed?" Julia murmured, for a lack of something better to say. Truth be told, she was at a loss as to how to comfort Bethany. What did one say to a woman mourning the death of a child? For all that her own mother had lost three babies, she had never been called upon to confront whatever grief she might have felt at the event.

  Bethany nodded. "He was also kind and charming."

  "Kind?" Julia drew back, frowning her consternation at her sister-in-law's glowing description of the man who had wronged her. "How can you say that he was kind when he abandoned you in such a heartless manner?"

  Bethany shrugged one shoulder, a gesture reminiscent of her siblings. "Because it is the truth. He was never anything but kind and considerate when we were together. As for his abandoning me and our baby"-another one-shoulder shrug-"that is simply the way of the world. Noblemen have no use for their bastards or the women bearing them, and more often than not they cast them off without a second thought. I understood those terms when I accepted my nobleman's offer, so I have only myself to blame for not taking better precautions against being caught."

  Julia sniffed. "You take far too much upon yourself in shouldering so much of the blame."

  "Perhaps," Bethany replied, gazing again at the garment in her hands. "However, it hardly matters now. What is done is done, and there is no point in dwelling on it."

  But Julia could not help dwelling on it a bit longer. "The man behaved like a scoundrel and does not merit such forgiveness from you. I should think that you would despise him for what he did to you." Had she been Bethany, she would have loathed the man to her dying day.

  "You mistake my meaning, Julia. I do despise him, and I most certainly do not forgive him for the thoughtlessness with which he cast me off. However, I must be fair and accept my share of the responsibility in the matter. As I said, I knew the risks in what I did. I gambled and I lost."

  "Well, I think that you are exceedingly brave and noble," Julia declared, not wishing her new sister to think that she in any way condemned her actions. "It was beyond courageous of you to sacrifice yourself for Bliss the way you did. I can only imagine how dreadful it must have been for you to do so."

  Bethany looked away, but not before Julia saw a blush creeping into her cheeks. "It was frightening at first. After all, I had never been with a man and did not know what to expect. But then, well"-she shot Julia a sidelong glance from beneath her inky eyelashes-"since you are wed and we have agreed to be sisters, I suppose that you will not mind if I speak frankly?"

  Julia nodded. "Please do."

  "Perhaps it brands me as a harlot to confess to such a thing, but I enjoyed being intimate with him. He was so gentle and patient with me; he always made certain that I found my pleasure."

  "You . . . liked it?" Julia choked out, stunned by her admission.

  Bethany nodded.

  Julia stared at her averted face, wanting to pursue the subject and ask the questions weighing on her mind, but not quite certain how to do so without revealing her innocence. After all, she had been wed to Gideon for two months, and Bethany naturally expected that she was experienced between the sheets. Settling on evasiveness, she murmured, "Do you suppose that the marriage act is so very pleasurable for all women?"

  Bethany tipped her head to meet her gaze, her lips curving into a faint, knowing smile. "If they have a caring, considerate lover, yes. A woman cannot help but to find pleasure in the act if a man takes pains to see that she is satisfied."

  Julia considered her words, watching as she began to carefully fold the pelisse she held. She did not doubt that Gideon would be a caring and considerate lover. Well, at least he would be until he was overcome by his primitive urges. Nonetheless, the mere fact that Bethany had not found having a man stick his male part in her womanly place unpleasant gave her hope that it might not be as torturous as Helene's mother had said. Then again, Bethany's lover had been a nobleman, which meant that his male part was smaller and more refined than Gideon's common one. And that meant-

  "Oh, but how silly of me not to have thought of such a thing before," Bethany exclaimed. "I shall give these garments to you and Gideon for when you have your first child."

  Julia felt her jaw drop, caught off guard by the notion of bearing Gideon's child. For all the contemplation she had given to what happened in the marriage bed, she had spared little thought as to the consequences of those actions. She must have looked as flabbergasted as she felt, because Bethany glanced away quickly, saying, "Oh. How thoughtless of me. Of course you
do not want them. You will naturally wish to stitch your own."

  "It is not that, dear. I would very much like to have them," Julia rushed to explain, her heart aching at the forlorn note in Bethany's voice. "Indeed, I could not hope to make anything nearly so lovely on my own. It is just that I thought that you might wish to save them for your own children. After all, it is hardly unreasonable to expect that you might someday wed and have more children."

  Bethany refrained from response for several moments, busying herself with wrapping the pelisse in tissue paper. At length she sighed and said, "I shall never have another child, Julia."

  "How can you say such a thing with certainty?" Julia argued, not about to allow Bethany to deny herself the hope of future happiness, just because of something she had done in the past. "It is entirely possible that you might marry and-"

  "I shall not have more children, because I cannot," Bethany interjected quietly. "There were complications with the birthing, and the doctor said that I shall most probably never be able to conceive another child."

  "Oh, Bethany, no!" Julia cried, stricken by the thought that a woman as loving and gentle as Bethany would never have children. "Perhaps the doctor was wrong-"

  Bethany silenced her with a head shake. "No, Julia. All the doctors Gideon brought from London said the same thing.'"

  It was Julia's turn to shake her head, which she did over and over again, not wanting to believe what she was hearing. "Bethany ... I ... I am so sorry," she finally managed to say, though the words hardly seemed adequate in such a situation.

  Bethany smiled gently. "You are a dear to care so about me, Julia. But the fact remains that I shall never have another child to wear these, so it would please me immensely to someday see my niece or nephew clad in them."

  "Then you shall," Julia declared. "And I shall be proud to see them so finely clothed."

  "I will also be glad to help you make some new ones, if you wish. Since my baby came early, there are several pieces I did not have a chance to finish. I was making-"

  Whatever she was about to say was lost as the door burst open and Bliss came bounding into the room. "Do come quickly, Julia!" she cried, hopping from foot to foot in her agitation.

  "Why, whatever has happened, Bliss!" Julia exclaimed, rising in alarm. "Do not tell me that there has been an accident?"

  Bliss made an exasperated noise. "Do I look as if someone has had an accident?"

  Julia had to admit that the girl was smiling rather too broadly for something bad to have happened. Shaking her head at her own silliness for not having noted the detail herself, she asked, "What is it, then?"

  "A surprise," Bliss countered cryptically, skipping across the room to seize her arm. Giving it an impatient tug, she urged, "Come and see! Hurry! Hurry! Hurry!"

  Julia cast an apologetic look at Bethany, who laughed and said, "Well, you heard the child. Go and see your surprise."

  Without further prompting, Julia allowed Bliss to lead her downstairs, almost having to run to keep up with her. "In here," Bliss said, stopping before a closed door, behind which lay the freshly renovated Blue drawing room. When Julia merely looked at her in query, she snorted and said, "The door won't open by itself, you know. Open it!"

  Unable to form even a vague notion of what she might find in the room, she did as directed. In the next instant she was greeted with a chorus of, "Julia! Julia!" and her sisters came flying at her. Behind them stood little Bertie and his nurse, the former promptly breaking free from the latter's restraining hold to toddle after his sisters.

  "Maria! Jemima! Bertie!" Julia cried, opening her arms to receive them. The next few moments passed in a joyous blur as the siblings engaged in a boisterous reunion. When they had all hugged and kissed and exclaimed over each other to their mutual satisfaction, Julia swept Bertie up into her arms, saying, "How very lovely! I had absolutely no idea you were coming!"

  "That is because it was supposed to be a surprise, silly," Maria chortled, visibly pleased by the success of their ploy.

  Jemima grinned and nodded. "It was all Gideon's idea. He sent a note to Aunt Aurelia instructing her to bring us here."

  Julia's elation deflated a fraction at the mention of Aurelia. "Oh," she murmured, looking around the room in expectation of seeing the horrid woman frowning at their unruly conduct. When she did not see her there, she glanced back at her sisters and inquired, "Where is Aurelia?"

  "Gideon asked to speak with her in his study." This was from Maria, who was straightening her deep-crowned straw hat, which had been knocked askew in their loving fray.

  "I daresay that your sisters and brother are tired and hungry from their journey," interjected Bethany's voice. Julia glanced in the direction from which it had come to see her sister-in-law standing on the threshold, grinning at the scene before her. "When Gideon informed me of their visit last week, I had the room next to yours prepared for your sisters, and the one across from it for your brother and his nurse. If you would like to take them up and get them settled, I will have Cook send up a light repast."

  "I shall do that, and thank you. But please do come in and meet my siblings first," she replied, looking around for Bliss so that she could introduce her as well. When she found her absent, she asked, "Where is Bliss?"

  "Here," Bethany said, pulling Bliss from where she was skulking just outside the door. The child scowled as her sister urged her into the room, her jaw tensing as her gray eyes darted between their elegant visitors. For all that she was trying so desperately to look brave, she could not have looked more daunted and uncertain.

  Julia's heart instantly went out to the child. Beckoning for her to draw nearer, she smiled and said, "Bliss, do come meet my sisters, Maria and Jemima, and my brother, Bertie. Like you, dear, Maria and Jemima adore animals, so I was hoping that I might persuade you to introduce them to our country creatures while they are here." Shifting her gaze to her siblings, she explained, "Bliss knows all the animals that live in our gardens and park, and has tamed many of them to eat from her hand."

  Bliss came forward as directed, but her scowl did not ease and she merely jerked her head in response to the introduction.

  Maria, however, was unperturbed by Bliss's less-than-gracious welcome, a fact she demonstrated by grinning and exclaiming, "Please do introduce us to your animals, Bliss!"

  "If you wish," Bliss muttered, now staring at the floor.

  "Perhaps we can take the book Julia sent us on country creatures with us, and read all about the animals as we meet them," Jemima chimed in, her pretty face lighting up at the prospect of their outing.

  "If you wish," Bliss repeated in a bored monotone. Though she still stared at the floor and her face remained fixed in a scowl, Julia could see the beginnings of a smile twitching at the corners of her mouth.

  After introducing Bethany, who tendered a warm welcome, Julia handed Bertie back to his nurse and took each of her sisters by the hand. "Well then, I suppose that I should show you to your quarters now."

  They had just trooped over the threshold on their expedition upstairs, when Julia glanced back to see Bliss standing alone in the drawing room, watching them go. Though she still scowled, Julia could see the longing in her eyes, her hunger to be included. Feigning a frown, as if displeased by the girl's loitering, she called out, "Well? Are you coming, Bliss?"

  Bliss's scowl slipped in her surprise. "You want me to come?"

  "But of course. I cannot get my sisters settled without you. I am counting on your help in acquainting them with the manor."

  She did not have to ask twice. Bliss hurried to join them, visibly struggling to resume her scowl, but dismally failing.

  Chapter 19

  It was a half hour later when Julia returned downstairs, having overseen the maids in unpacking her siblings' trunks and settling them down to eat the meal Cook had sent up. Her smile, which had become a permanent feature since her sisters' and brother's arrival, broadened at the thought of the scene she had just left. Bliss, who had com
pletely overcome her initial shyness and suspicion of their visitors, had been outlining a schedule for viewing the garden creatures with a precision that would have done a general proud, while Maria and Jemima listened with unconcealed awe of their new friend. By all appearances, the girls were well on their way to becoming bosom bows.

  Though Julia knew that she should have stayed with her siblings a bit longer and made certain that they finished their meals, she was much too anxious to seek out Gideon and thank him for bringing them to her to do so. That he would do something so very thoughtful merely strengthened her conviction in the right of loving him. Now happier than she had ever been in her life, she more skipped than walked down the stairs, coming to an abrupt halt as she passed the open front door.

  Gideon's coach had been brought around and Aurelia stood next to it, supervising the footmen as they lashed several trunks to the roof. Mystified as to what her aunt could be doing, she went outside to investigate.

  "Aurelia?" she hailed, interrupting the woman's explanation of why the trunks must be strapped just so.

  Aurelia turned at the sound of her voice.

  Julia gasped, recoiling in shock at the expression on her aunt's face. She was smiling broadly and with such uncharacteristic pleasure that Julia could only gape at her, too stunned to do more.

  "Julia, my dearest girl!" Aurelia cooed, sweeping her into what from anyone else could have been interpreted as a fond embrace. "How splendid you look. Marriage must agree with you."

  At that moment, Julia would have been far less stunned had her aunt sprouted horns than she was at being hugged by her. Struggling to find her tongue, which had abandoned her in her surprise, she somehow managed to sputter, "What has happened?"