On the Fly

by Catherine Gayle

  When I moved, I nearly fell over because of the look in his eyes. His stare was one of the most intense things I’d ever seen in my life, dark and brooding and a little too sexy for my own good.

  Or maybe a lot too sexy for my own good.

  My breath caught. I tried to swallow, but I didn’t have enough saliva in my mouth. I licked my lips, hoping to increase the moisture flow there, but immediately regretted it when Brenden’s gaze followed the path of my tongue.

  How would it feel if he kissed me? I felt as weak-kneed and feverish as I had when I’d been a teenager, when Jason Shaw had first flirted with me—back when a cute boy flirting was all it would take to get me to fall into bed with him. Right now, I wanted to fall into Brenden Campbell’s arms, whether that was the intelligent thing to do or not.

  Damn it, what was wrong with me? I didn’t have time to let myself get involved with some guy I barely knew. Even if I did, I couldn’t because of Maddie.

  For all I knew, I was reading things in his eyes that weren’t there. It had been so long since any man had looked at me like I was a woman and not the discarded mother of two kids, that I was likely just starving for any man’s attention. Surely he wasn’t looking at me like I thought he was.

  I couldn’t afford to think like that.

  “Excuse me,” I finally said, once I’d gotten a grip on myself again. I tried to push past him, but he blocked my exit. He didn’t look like he was in any big hurry to move, not with the way he just raised an eyebrow and cocked a grin at me.

  At least he was smiling. That was a definite improvement.

  We stood there like that for so long I started to feel antsy.

  He narrowed his eyes. “What did you mean?” he asked instead of moving out of my way. Actually, he took a step closer so that I had to drop my head back to see him, and then I fell in that direction, taking a step to steady myself. He leaned his shoulder against the doorjamb, looking all sorts of cocky and casual and way too good for it to be safe for me to be alone with him in a confined space. “When you said you don’t date,” he finally finished.

  The urge to lick my lips again was strong, and my pulse was like a jackhammer in my veins, all because he was talking like he was interested. In me.

  I had no idea where this was heading, but it could only mean trouble.

  I shouldn’t have asked her that. At least not without some warning, a lead-in of some sort so she had a clue what was coming.

  Rachel had a deer-in-the-headlights look in her eyes, one that made me want to wrap her up in my arms and promise her I’d keep her and her kids safe. At the same time, I wanted to let her run past me to wherever she intended to hide, as though I was the danger.

  I should probably let her run. That would be the smart move. Getting involved with a single mom was sure to be one of the stupidest decisions I could ever make.

  I didn’t let her leave.

  Which meant I didn’t give myself that out. I suppose, conscious or not, I had made a decision about what I wanted with her.

  I wanted everything. That thought should have scared me, but it didn’t. It felt right. Good. It was like all the girls I’d dated in my life had been lessons, teaching me what I really wanted and needed so I’d recognize it when I saw it—when I saw her.

  “I meant I don’t date,” she said, exasperation drawing her eyebrows together into a cute line.

  Her brows were the same flame-red as her hair. That thought turned to another, and in no time I was thinking about where else her hair might be red. I shouldn’t be thinking about that, but after letting my mind go there I couldn’t think about anything else. At least I shouldn’t be thinking it right now, while I was trying to convince her I wasn’t dangerous or a pervert or any number of other things she should reasonably be wary of.

  I realized my eyes had been slowly moving down her body, and I forced them back to her face. Instead of that bright red, the long lashes lining her eyes were more of a blond, almost see-through. I could stare at her eyes all day, green and soft and sultry.

  Her eyes were safer for me to stare at, at least, than her boobs or the apex of her thighs.

  Still, I couldn’t stop myself from grinning. “Why not?” I crossed my ankles, settling in to see what she’d do.

  “Because I have two kids who need me to be a better mom than I have been lately.”

  I laughed and shook my head. “So what’s the deal with this logic? You give birth to a couple of kids and that instantly removes you from the dating pool? I don’t see anyone else doing that. People with kids date all the time.”

  Especially people as young as she was. Rachel didn’t look old enough to have kids as old as hers were. Maybe toddlers, but not two who were already in school. The longer I spent in her company, the more I was sure of that, which only made me more curious, made me want to get to know her better. Had these kids belonged to an older sibling? That could explain her overprotectiveness, I supposed, if they’d lost their real parents.

  No matter who their parents were, they were definitely related to Rachel with that hair and those freckles and all the other ways they looked like miniature versions of her. But she couldn’t be older than her mid-twenties. She couldn’t really be their mom, could she?

  “Those other people aren’t me, and their kids aren’t my kids.”

  Now she was just being overly vigilant. Granted, with all that had happened to Dana, I understood the need to be overprotective—more than a lot of people. I’d started to learn that sometimes it was best to let those people we wanted to protect so much figure things out for themselves, though. “Kids are just kids. You can get a babysitter—”

  “I’m not going to leave my kids with someone I don’t know,” she interrupted. She actually looked like she was getting angry, not just exasperated like before, with her eyes narrowing into a glare that looked more adorable than fierce. It left me wanting to kiss her even more than I had already wanted to. Shit, what was wrong with me? Why was I always thinking about kissing her and finding out if she had red hair everywhere and any number of other things I had no business thinking about?

  Instead of leaving her be, I shrugged my shoulders and said, “You know Babs. Tuck and Maddie like him. He could watch them while I take you out.” Once I’d said it out loud, I knew there would be no going back—no convincing myself I didn’t want to date her. To be with her. As much as her need to take care of everyone exasperated me, I also found it refreshing. Most of the girls I’d dated over the years were so self-centered that they almost didn’t realize there was anyone else in their lives. Not Rachel. She was almost too aware of everyone around her, and I couldn’t get my fill of her because of it. I’d seen more than enough glimpses of her true self—caring enough to feed Babs, selfless enough to put her kids first—to know most of what she was giving me was nothing more than a protective shell, like Dana had worn for years. Dana had shown the world only what she’d wanted seen and did a pretty good job of it, but Rachel was even better.

  She shook her head, and it looked like she might cry for a second. Then she straightened her spine and tried to push past me. “I need to get back out there. I need to be with my kids.”

  I put my arm down to grab her waist and stop her, and she tensed against me. Even if she was frustrating me, I couldn’t let her walk around on those feet. Not so soon. Now was not the time to cross that line. “You might be the most misguided, stubborn woman I’ve ever met,” I muttered as I lifted her into my arms.

  She didn’t relax against me at all, perched in my arms like she was ready to spring away at the slightest provocation. Even so, her lips were parted slightly, and I watched as the line of her gaze moved to my mouth.

  She wanted me to kiss her. She just didn’t want to want it, and that might very well drive me insane because I wanted to kiss her more than was good for me.

  But I didn’t. I carried her into the living room and back into the chaos of Babs playing video games with her kids.

  “Wo
o woo!” Tuck shouted, giving a victory pump of his fist in the air. “Beated you again.”

  Babs gave him a high five, shaking his head. “I can’t keep losing to the Ginger Ninja. Best three of five, eh?”

  Rachel squirmed, trying to get free, but I didn’t release her. I liked the sensation of having her right up at my chest, of having her fit against me, and letting her walk around on those feet right now would only cause more harm than good.

  “Come on, guys,” she said, sparing one last glare in my direction before she turned her head to her kids. “We have things to do today. Homework, laundry…”

  Maddie almost immediately put her controller down on the floor and stood, even though disappointment had stolen her smile, but Tuck shouted, “One more game, Mommy! Please?” His eyes went wide, pleading even louder than his voice.

  I could feel the indecision in Rachel, the urge to get away from me warring with a desire to please her kids. That part of her that was so concerned about giving Tuck and Maddie some fun softened her a little, just enough that she lost some of the tension keeping her rigid.

  Then I couldn’t seem to stop myself. I dropped my head down so my mouth was right by her ear. “One more game,” I whispered. I was so close that my lips skimmed her lobe as I spoke. I forced myself to pull away before I went too far.

  She shivered and collapsed against me, the fight leaving her body. It was all I could do to keep myself from taking full advantage of her acquiescence, however brief her moment of vulnerability might be, and kissing her senseless.

  “One more,” she agreed, but her eyes fell on me and not them.

  The weakly spoken words were all Babs and her kids needed. They started playing again and ignored the two of us. I carried her back to the sofa, but instead of putting her down on the cushions, I sat and pulled her onto my lap.

  Rachel blushed, her face as bright as her hair as she tried to move away. “What are you doing?” she hissed.

  I didn’t have the slightest idea what I was doing. Not a fucking clue. Not really. All I knew was now that I had her in my arms I didn’t want to let her go.

  With both of her hands, she lifted my hand free of her leg. She didn’t scurry away, though—she gave me a look I couldn’t interpret but stopped struggling to get free.

  Shit. What was I doing? I shook my head, at a loss as to how to explain my behavior to her. Nothing that came to mind seemed like it would satisfy her.

  She sat there with her legs draped over mine. I let my hand slide down her calves, a little at a time, urging her to tuck her feet in beside me. She jumped from my touch, and I took my hand away again. I wanted to comfort her, but somehow I kept doing the opposite. This wasn’t going well.

  “How are they?” I asked.

  “Fine,” she lied through her teeth.

  I nodded, letting her have her lie for now. “I’ll take you to work in the morning.”

  “I don’t—”

  “Babs and I have to go to the same place you do,” I said, cutting off her argument before she could gain any steam. “It’s not a big deal.”

  “For you to carry me around all the time?” She let out a sound that could have been a laugh but came across more like a strangled cough. “Why are you doing this?”

  “Why do you have such a hard time letting people help you?” I countered. “You’re hurt. You can’t do everything yourself. I’m just trying to help.” My desire to help her—almost overwhelming in its intensity—felt both right and uncomfortable in equal measure.

  Rachel’s head shook, just a small movement that I almost missed, and then she looked across the room to where Maddie was using the Wii controller like it was a steering wheel, a genuine smile on the little girl’s face. But Rachel didn’t say anything, just stared across at her daughter with a faraway look in her eyes that ripped my heart out because I recognized it as the same my family and I had all had when we’d looked at Dana for years.

  “What happened?” I asked before I could stop myself. Something had to have happened to Maddie. Something that put the wary look in the little girl’s eyes that reminded me of Dana, something that made Rachel shield her kids so much.

  I knew all about being overprotective. The urge didn’t just come out of the blue. There was always a reason for it, something that drove us to try to safeguard the people we love even when we couldn’t.

  She didn’t answer. I knew she wouldn’t before I asked, so there was really no purpose in me posing the question in the first place.

  Rachel stared down at her hands for a long time. I studied her—the thin lines at the corners of her eyes, the tense set of her lips, the perfect statue-like stillness of her hands. She wasn’t going to tell me anything of real value, nothing important. Maybe not ever.

  The less she revealed, the more I wanted to dig, to delve into her past and discover what left her so guarded and overprotective and selfless to the point of her own detriment.

  I just didn’t know how.

  Without even thinking about it, I reached up and brushed a stray curl away from her face, tucking it behind her ear. I shouldn’t have done that.

  “How am I supposed to know if I can trust you?” she whispered, pulling herself away from me again. This time, I let her move off my lap and take up her seat on the opposite end of the couch. I gave her space.

  After everything Dana had been through, I knew as well as anyone that there were no words to adequately answer her question.

  I’d have to show her.

  At about 4:45 the next afternoon, Jim Sutter stopped by my desk. He sat on the corner and smiled all the way to his eyes. Trusting people had never been easy for me, and it had only gotten worse recently, but there was something about him that came across as trustworthy.

  “We didn’t overwhelm you too much today, did we?” he asked.

  I’d spent the entire morning in human resources, filling out various forms, applying for health insurance and life insurance and all the other benefits my new position would provide for me and my kids. I hadn’t started learning all the actual requirements my job entailed until after lunch, and Martha hadn’t had a ton of time to teach me those things.

  She’d been busy helping Mr. Sutter deal with executing a player trade that went through today—filing the appropriate reports with the NHL, coordinating travel for the players involved, and countless other tasks I could hardly keep straight. I’d watched, trying not to get in the way, and I’d assisted her where I could, but I still felt like I was completely redundant. She knew exactly what was needed, and I didn’t have the first clue.

  And yes, I had started feeling overwhelmed watching her work because she’d been so incredibly efficient in everything she did. Was I really going to be able to take over for her? I wasn’t even sure how long she would still be here to help me learn the ropes before she retired. Even if she stayed for a month, I doubted I’d be ready for her to go. There were too many things for me to remember.

  I didn’t want my boss to think I was incompetent, though. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out, Mr. Sutter.”

  “Jim,” he corrected me for at least the fourth time since this morning—still smiling. “I’m sure you will, too. I wouldn’t have offered you the job if I didn’t believe in you. Today wasn’t an ideal day to be your first, but that couldn’t be helped. It should have given you a decent idea of what you can expect on the crazier days, I think.”

  I only hoped there wouldn’t be too many of the crazy days. I nodded, trying to smile. I probably didn’t quite pull it off, though. Jason had stolen both my smile and Maddie’s, and I hadn’t been able to find mine again yet. I’d have to work on that. Who wanted an assistant who couldn’t smile convincingly?

  “Tomorrow should be a much more normal day,” he said. “We don’t have mid-season trades very often. Martha can explain things in a calmer environment, and she can actually help you learn your job instead of doing it herself.”

  That brought out a laugh in me. “I don’t really know wh
at to do with a calm environment. With two kids…” I hadn’t seen a calm day in so long I doubted I’d even recognize one if I was slapped in the face with it.

  “I know all too well the chaos kids can create. That’s one of the reasons I thought you’d handle the job better than anyone else I’d interviewed. Single moms are great at getting things done even when the world is falling apart around them. Or at least mine was.”

  I didn’t know how to respond to that so I kept my mouth shut. My world was in a constant falling-apart state lately, and I didn’t feel like I was getting anything of use done. Every time I solved one problem, three more popped up in its place.

  Martha got up from her desk, the one directly across from mine, putting a few things back into place exactly where she wanted them. Her desk was filled to overflowing, but I’d discovered she had a method to her madness. Any time someone wanted anything from her, all day long, she was able to reach to a specific spot and grab exactly the thing she needed.

  My desk, in comparison, was barren and lonely looking. Aside from the computer monitor, a desk organizer with a few supplies, and Jim Sutter, there wasn’t really anything on it. I supposed that would change before too long, as I got more involved in the position.

  “Mind if I cut out a few minutes early, Jim?” Martha asked.

  “Your grandson has a game tonight, right? Get out of here.” He didn’t even hesitate to grant her an early exit. “Tell Joey to have fun,” he called out as she headed toward the stairs. Then he looked at me again. “I met with Brenden Campbell this morning after practice while you were in with HR. He told me about your feet.”

  My face flooded with heat. I’d been trying to hide how much pain I had been in all day long. I didn’t need my new boss to think I couldn’t do my job, no matter what the reason may be. “My feet will be fine,” I rushed out.

  “He should be here to pick you up soon,” Jim said, ignoring my embarrassment and my need to convince him I was capable. “I’m glad he and Babs live so close to you, that they can help you out with things.”