On the Fly

by Catherine Gayle

  Brenden suddenly found himself really popular with the kids, even more so than Jamie, now that he was the engineer of the Soupy Express. Even though there were probably dozens of ways he’d rather spend his day, I figured he was glad for something to do with himself. Hauling all the kids around on a sled kept him from having to face the emotional aspects of his sister getting engaged to his best friend. He could put that off until later, sometime when he had a little privacy. Or maybe that was just what I’d prefer if I found myself in his situation.

  Either way, he spent another hour or more pulling the kids around the rink, which meant that I was free to go back over to the benches and take those skates off. Thank God. My feet were killing me, and my ankles were sore and exhausted from the strain of keeping my body upright all day. Okay, so it hadn’t been all day. Not even close to it. I’d probably only been wearing them for an hour. How could these guys spend hours in skates every day? It didn’t compute in my mind. After I put my shoes back on, I scanned the benches for Martha and sat down to watch everyone still on the rink when I didn’t find her.

  Tuck insisted on having three turns on the Soupy Express. When he wasn’t riding the sled, he was with all of Jamie’s brothers, trying to learn how to shoot a hockey puck. With each swing he took, I was more and more glad that all the kids on that side of the ice were wearing protective gear. He was a little wild.

  Jamie and Katie seemed to have snuck off somewhere, away from the rest of the kids. I didn’t see them anywhere. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling and wondering what would happen if her dad caught them somewhere making out. Katie reminded me a lot of myself when I was younger—back before I’d screwed up so badly. But lucky for her, Jamie didn’t seem anything at all like Jason, apart from being way too good-looking.

  Maddie spent some time with Claire and Sylvie Montfort, the girls who had taken a spin on the sled with us. They each took one of her hands and helped her keep her balance while she struggled to learn. Even though they were younger and smaller than her, they had both clearly spent an awful lot of time on ice skates.

  I was watching the three of them when Dana came over and took the empty seat next to me.

  “Maddie’s learning pretty fast,” she said.

  “Not as fast as Tuck.” I stole a glance at the ring on her finger, and she held her hand out for me to get a better look. I managed to smile and not gawk. “Congratulations. And thanks for skating with Maddie today, helping her make friends.”

  “She didn’t need any help making friends. She’s a sweet girl.” Dana crossed her legs at the ankles and swung the skates she was still wearing forward, propping them up by the back of the blade. She put her hands on the bench on either side of her, her fingers wrapping underneath it. “If she ever needs someone to talk to—or if you do—just let me know. Anytime.”

  I had to blink back tears. Today wasn’t supposed to get me all worked up like this. It was supposed to be a fun day at the skating rink, a time for the kids to be kids and for me to relax. “Thanks,” I managed to say without unleashing a torrent of waterworks.

  She nodded, and her eyes found her brother out on the ice. “Listen, I don’t really know how to say this so I’m just going to get it out.”

  That didn’t sound good.

  “Brenden’s never been like this about a girl before, at least not that I know about. The way he is with you, I mean. Like, he’s serious. But you’re still wary. Don’t get me wrong, I totally get why you are. If anyone around here understands that, it’s me. But it’s him, too. After all the years he had to deal with me…”

  “I know.”

  She turned, scrutinizing me with her eyes. For the first time, I realized she had the same eyes as he did, those rich, chocolate-brown eyes that could bore through me. “He’s falling hard for you,” she said. “He’s going to want things with you that you might not be ready to give him.” Her lips turned down in a frown.

  “I’m falling for him, too.” This time, it didn’t even scare me to say it, to let myself feel it. Granted, that might have something to do with the fact that he wasn’t sitting there to hear the words tumbling out of my mouth. “I don’t know what I’m ready for—what Maddie and Tuck are ready for—but I know I can’t keep pushing him away.”

  “Good.” She faced the ice again, her eyes falling on Brenden as he pulled another sled full of kids around the rink. “Because I like you, and I like your kids, and I want him to be happy. You make him happy. All of you.”

  “Maybe you can help me understand something,” I said, and I wished I could take it back. Asking it would only make it seem like I wasn’t confident in myself, even though I didn’t think that was the case. I believe in myself. I just don’t normally expect anyone else to because I’ve always had to fight to prove myself.

  But Dana turned to me, waiting patiently for my question.

  “Why me?”

  “Because you’re all the things he didn’t know he should be looking for until you landed in his lap.” That did nothing to answer my question, but she didn’t let me linger on it for too long. “Listen,” she said, “Eric and I haven’t run this by Brenden yet, but we want you and the kids to come over for Christmas. My parents are flying in on Monday. It’ll just be family, nothing fancy. I know it’s your first Christmas here, and we’d totally understand if you want to spend it alone with the kids, but we’d love you to spend it with us. There’s plenty of room for all of you to spend the night Christmas Eve.”

  I’d started getting used to the fact that Brenden could steal my breath, but I hadn’t been prepared for his sister to do the same. I had to force my jaw to snap closed.

  Dana smiled. “Sorry. I know I sprung that on you out of nowhere. I’ll talk to Brenden about it, and then you two can decide.” She looked up when Eric came around the corner from the direction of the gym. He held out his hand for hers. She took it, and they headed back out to the ice together. “No pressure!” she called over her shoulder.

  She’d barely been gone a few seconds when Laura Weber took the seat she’d vacated, setting her designer purse on the bench on her other side. “Did you get a good look at the rock? Zee did good.”

  I smiled. “It’s huge.”

  For a brief moment, an image of a ring like that on my hand flashed through my mind. The thought of something that size on my finger was laughable. Dana at least had long limbs, long fingers. She could pull something like that off.

  But I didn’t have any business thinking about rings, big or otherwise. Being kissed a couple of times wasn’t nearly enough to start thinking along those lines, no matter what Dana Campbell believed her brother might feel for me or what I might feel for him. I forced the thought aside.

  “So I’ve only got a few minutes,” Laura said, “but I’ve been trying to get a minute with you all afternoon, and this is my last chance. Katie’s not feeling well and I’m taking her home once she gets changed. Dave’s gonna stay with the other two until after the big dinner.” She pulled her sweater tighter, doing up the buttons as she talked. “I’m heading up all the players’ wives charity events this year, and we need your help now that you and Soupy are an item.”

  She didn’t even give me a chance to object, to say that we weren’t an item. Granted, I didn’t know if I could really say that anymore. Everything about our behavior, at least over the last few days, said otherwise. He’d even called me his girl in front of some of the guys, and I hadn’t done anything to contradict him. And now his sister was inviting me to spend Christmas with them as part of the family.

  What was I getting myself into?

  “I know you’ve got a full plate working for the team,” Laura said, “but there are a lot of young guys this season who aren’t married and don’t have girlfriends right now. That means the rest of us have to do more, and that means we need you. Tomorrow’s game is in the afternoon, so you have no excuse not to bring the kids and join the rest of us up in the owner’s box. We can talk more about what I need from you
then. I’ll pay for your time and efforts with good wine and cheap gossip.”

  I laughed out loud over that one. “I’m not sure I should take you up on the wine. I don’t really drink much.”

  “Fine. But you’ll eat my gossip up and beg me for more.”

  Katie and Jamie were coming back into the stands, and she looked even sicker than I’d imagined. Whatever it was had hit her hard and fast. Only a little while ago, she’d been out on the ice with everyone else, having a grand old time. Now she looked like the only way she was staying upright was because Jamie was holding onto her waist.

  Laura stood up and put her purse strap over her shoulder. She looked down at me with the kind of look only a mother can get away with. “Don’t try to get out of this with using those other tickets for the game. I’ll hunt you down and drag you up to the box by your ear if I have to.”

  “All right,” I said. “I’ll talk to Brenden about sitting in the owner’s box with you.”

  She winked at me. “Maybe it won’t be too long before you’ve got a big rock, too.” Then she turned and put her arm across Katie’s shoulders, and the two of them headed back out together.

  Jamie took the seat next to me, and the two of us watched until they disappeared around the corner. I tried not to think about rings.

  “She’d been looking tired for a little bit, but she just fell down out there,” he said. He sounded dazed. “By the time I carried her over here, she had a huge bruise on her elbow where she hit the ice. I hope she didn’t break anything.”

  “Her mom will make sure she’s okay.” That’s what moms do, after all. I patted him on the hand, trying to reassure him.

  “Yeah. She’ll be okay.”

  When I turned back to the ice, everything moved in slow motion.

  Maddie’s feet slipped out from beneath her. She fell backward, hitting her head hard on the ice. I stood up and screamed.

  The ice was red. Blood. Maddie’s blood.

  Bodies converged on her. Men. Men she didn’t know.

  I tried to run to her.

  Jamie stopped me. Put his arms around my waist and held me back.

  “That’s my baby.” I struggled to get free. Had to get to her.

  They were surrounding her. People kept racing around, blocking me. All of them bigger than me. I couldn’t see her. I couldn’t get to her.

  “Soupy’s out there, Rach. He’ll get her.”

  A hand touched mine. “He’ll bring her to you. Sit down with me. You can’t help her if you fall and hurt yourself on the ice.”

  Dana. It was Dana. I grabbed hold of her hand and wouldn’t let go.

  “I’m calling for an ambulance,” Eric said from somewhere nearby.

  Jamie and Dana urged me back to the bench and made me sit. They sat on either side of me, staying with me.

  I couldn’t breathe, I was sobbing so hard. I didn’t know who else was around me. They were all talking, trying to calm me down, but nothing would calm me down until I saw my little girl.

  The bodies between me and Maddie finally thinned, and then she was in front of me in Brenden’s arms. She smiled at me.

  I shot to my feet, my hand shaking uncontrollably as I reached for her forehead, took in everything I could with my eyes. The blood was coming from the back of her head, dripping slowly down Brenden’s arm.

  “It’s already slowed down a lot,” he said.

  I could only nod.

  “I’m okay, Mommy. Mr. Soupy is taking care of me.” Maddie reached up and grabbed hold of my hand. She was so much steadier than I was.

  “The ambulance is here, guys,” someone said behind me. Nicky. It was Nicky’s voice. “Let the paramedics through.”

  They wheeled in a stretcher, and Brenden placed her right in the middle of it. I couldn’t let go of her hand, not even to let the paramedics strap her in place.

  Brenden’s hands rested on my shoulders, strong and steady. He squeezed and placed a kiss at the back of my head.

  “Go with her in the ambulance. I’ll get Tuck and meet you there.”

  I nodded, and they started wheeling her out. I climbed into the back of the ambulance and watched, almost numb, as they stuck an IV in Maddie’s arm and pressed a gauze pad against her head.

  “It’s okay, Mommy,” she said again. She squeezed my hand, reassuring me. “I just fell. Mr. Soupy took good care of me.”

  He had. Brenden had taken care of Maddie, and now he was taking care of Tuck, and by doing that he was taking care of me.

  I should’ve made sure she was wearing a helmet.

  That was the only thought going through my head, over and over again, the whole way to the hospital. Tuck was in his booster seat in the back, quietly sniffling, while Dana drove the two of us there.

  Babs had had to help me figure out how to fasten him in because Tuck was too worked up to do it himself. I hadn’t ever done anything like that before. I’d never even watched, so I didn’t have the first clue what went where. I should probably start to pay more attention to things like that.

  “Give me your keys,” Dana had said once we got Tuck situated. “You’re shaking too bad. You can’t drive like this.” She’d been right. I was too worked up, almost as much as Rachel had been. The shaking had started as soon as the ambulance pulled away with the two of them in it. I’d kept my cool until that moment, but then I lost it.

  Blood had never really bothered me when it was my own, and I’d seen plenty of teammates and opponents bleed over the years. But when I saw Maddie lying on the ice with a pool of blood circling her head, my heart had plummeted to my toes.

  Dana glanced back at Tuck in the rearview mirror when he sniffled a little louder. “We’re almost there, buddy. The doctors are going to make sure Maddie is just fine.”

  There she went, reassuring Tuck when I should have been the one to do it. I was hopeless at this. It was like our roles had been reversed all of a sudden, and now Dana was the one looking after me and taking care of all the things I ought to be doing.

  This was a hell of a way to celebrate her engagement.

  “Shit,” I muttered, then regretted it when Tuck sucked in a breath. “Sorry, Tuck. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  “What’s wrong?” Dana asked.

  “You shouldn’t be here with me. You should be with Zee…”

  “He’s coming to the hospital, too, as soon as they finish cleaning up the ice.” She turned into the drive at the emergency room and parked in the first available spot. “I’m right where I need to be. Okay?”

  I didn’t have it in me to argue. I just wanted to get inside to Rachel and Maddie.

  Dana helped to get Tuck out of the back, and she held his hand as we went through the glass doors.

  The woman at the desk took one look at me and all the blood I was covered in. “You with the little girl?”

  I nodded.

  “They took her back for some tests. Only one family member is allowed in with her at a time right now. You can wait in that first room on the right.”

  My head was floating while we went to the waiting room. The only thing that seemed real was the intense pain in my left ankle. I’d seriously overdone it today, pulling all the kids around on that sled. I might have even hurt it worse than it had been from that game against LA. I made a mental note to ice it once I got home, but with the way my head was working right now, I’d probably forget.

  Dana found a corner full of toys and got Tuck situated over there, then she left for a few minutes. When she came back, she took a bottle of orange juice over to Tuck and sat down next to me, passing me a cup of coffee.

  I sipped from it, but it burned the roof of my mouth. I set it on the table next to me to let it cool off.

  The door opened, and I leaped to my feet thinking it would be Rachel or a doctor coming to let us know what was going on. Nicky came in and held the door open, and the entire Babcock family followed him inside. I sat back down again, and the younger boys went over to play with Tuck and keep
him distracted. Babs and his parents sat down across from me, and Mrs. Babcock gave me a tentative smile.

  I couldn’t return it. There wasn’t a fucking thing I could smile about right now.

  For the next half hour, that door kept opening, but it was never who I wanted to see coming through it. The waiting room was bursting at the seams because everyone had left the rink and brought the party here. Mr. Engels had even instructed the catering staff to bring the food here, so they had set up a table along the wall and everyone was eating.

  Zee handed Dana a plate and sat down on the floor since all the chairs were taken. “You need to eat something, Soupy.”

  “I can’t.” I was going to be sick. Better not to tempt fate.

  Dana frowned, but she didn’t push. “I asked Rachel to bring the kids for Christmas and stay the night Christmas Eve. Told her I’d run it by you, and then you two can talk about it.”

  That was the first thing to make me feel something other than guilt in a while. “Did she seem like she would come?” I wanted her to come. I wanted to be with her and the kids, and her to be with my family.

  “Couldn’t tell.”

  “If Maddie is okay, I’m sure she’ll bring them,” Zee said.

  “She’ll be okay,” Dana said. “Kids are resilient. She didn’t even get knocked out—not like you did.” She said that last part looking over at me.

  Not like I did?

  My confusion must have registered on my face because Zee said, “Back in peewee. We were in a game and they took you off the ice on a stretcher. I was with Dana in the ER waiting room for what felt like hours before they finally told us you were going to be fine.”

  That was so long ago I barely remembered it. I’d had dozens of other injuries since then that kind of dulled the memory. “How old were we?”

  “Eleven,” Dana said. “I was eight and terrified.”

  Eight and terrified… Tuck was only five. God, I was an ass. I was so worried about Maddie—and Rachel—I had hardly spared Tuck a thought since we’d left the practice facility. I’d told Rachel I’d take care of him, but I hadn’t. Dana and Babs had done most of it, and I’d pretty much ignored him.