A Baby of His Own

by Jennifer Taylor

  Dee didn’t argue as she followed him into the room. It was obvious that she was desperate to talk to him. She didn’t even stop to close the door before she launched right in. ‘Mike flew over to England last week to see me. He’s come up with an idea but I’m not sure how I feel about it.’

  ‘So what has he suggested?’ Connor asked, leaning against the desk.

  ‘That we think about egg donation to allow us to have a family.’

  ‘And you hate the idea?’

  ‘No, it’s not that. I just don’t know if it will work…’ She tailed off unhappily, and he frowned.

  ‘You’re afraid the child will resent it when he or she finds out that you used a donor?’

  ‘Well, obviously that is a concern, but it’s more to do with how I’m going to feel after the baby is born.’ She sighed. ‘It won’t be my biological child, will it, so how can I be sure that I’ll love it?’

  ‘You can’t be sure of that, Dee,’ he said gently. ‘But there again you can’t be sure that you would love your own child either.’

  He smiled sadly when she looked at him in astonishment. Even though he never discussed his own circumstances, he knew it could help her make up her mind if he told her. ‘My mother had me taken into care when I was a child. My father died when I was a baby and she met someone else when I was about six years old and he didn’t want me around.’ He shrugged. ‘She chose him over me.’

  ‘But that’s awful!’ Dee exclaimed. ‘How could she have done that?’

  ‘I don’t know.’ Connor wasn’t sure why he wanted to convince her the plan could work. Maybe it was because he’d discovered how wonderful it was to be a father. It seemed such a shame that two people as kind and as caring as Mike and Dee might never have the chance to be parents.

  ‘Think about it, Dee. You desperately want a baby and you can’t have one, so this could be the ideal solution. After all, this child’s father would be the man you love, so how could you not love it as well?’

  ‘That’s wonderful news…Yes, I’ll tell Dr Mackenzie immediately.’

  Lucy sighed with relief as she hung up the phone. Alan and Amy had been found hiding in the boiler room, none the worse for their adventures, apparently. They were being returned to the ward so now all she had to do was to tell Connor.

  She hurried along the corridor, wondering if she should page him in case he was still with the lawyers. The sooner he knew about this, the sooner everything could get back to normal. She went to the desk, glancing round when Sandra appeared.

  ‘They’ve found the children so I’m just paging Connor to tell him the good news.’

  ‘There’s no need to page him. I just saw him and Dee going into the office.’

  ‘Did you?’ Lucy dropped the receiver onto its rest, feeling her heart start to pound. ‘Is Dee supposed to be working today?’ she said as calmly as she could.

  ‘I don’t think so. She usually only works if we need cover for the high-dependency unit, doesn’t she?’ Sandra shrugged. ‘She probably came in to see Connor—’

  Sandra broke off abruptly and Lucy saw the embarrassed colour run up her face. It was obvious that her friend thought she had said something wrong but there was no need for her to worry, Lucy told herself sternly. Connor had proved last night that he couldn’t possibly be interested in Dee.

  ‘I’ll go along to the office and tell him what’s happened, then. Can you make a start on the lunches? I won’t be long.’

  She hurried away before Sandra could say anything else. The office door was open and she paused, wondering if she should knock before she went in. She wouldn’t like to interrupt them if they were having a private conversation…

  ‘Think about it, Dee. You desperately want a baby and you can’t have one, so this could be the ideal solution. After all, this child’s father would be the man you love, so how could you not love it as well?’

  Lucy reeled back in shock when she heard Connor speak. She heard Dee say something to him in reply but she couldn’t understand the words—it was too difficult to make sense of them. Was Connor trying to persuade Dee to accept Izzy? Did he see Izzy as an integral part of their future together? She didn’t want to believe it but what else could she think after hearing that?

  You desperately want a baby and you can’t have one…this child’s father would be the man you love…

  Snatches of the conversation rushed back to her as she made her way back along the corridor. Connor wanted Izzy for Dee’s sake and that was why he had come back to England. Was that it? He wanted their daughter to fill the gap in Dee’s life?

  It explained so much that hadn’t made sense before. He had never been interested in having a family with Lucy, had never put anything before his career when he had been with her, but now he was prepared to make any sacrifice so long as the woman he loved was happy.

  Lucy put her hand over her mouth as sickness welled into her throat. She only just made it to the bathroom before she threw up. She leant against the wall as a wave of revulsion swept over her. Connor had hurt her once before but it was nothing compared to what he’d done to her now. He had used Izzy for his own purposes and she would never forgive him for that until the day she died.

  Connor went straight to the ward after Dee had left but there was no sign of Lucy. Sandra was in the dayroom, helping the children with their lunch, so he popped his head round the door.

  ‘Where’s Lucy?’

  ‘I thought she’d gone to the office to find you,’ Sandra told him in surprise.

  ‘Did she?’ He glanced over his shoulder but there was no way that he could have missed seeing Lucy on his way there.

  ‘Maybe she got called away,’ Sandra suggested. ‘They might have wanted her to go downstairs to see Amy and Alan.’

  ‘You mean they’ve been found!’

  ‘Yes, sorry. I forgot that Lucy hasn’t spoken to you yet. They found them in the boiler room, apparently.’

  ‘Thank heavens for that!’ He looked round when he heard voices and saw two decidedly dejected youngsters being shepherded back to the ward. ‘Here they come now. I’ll have a word with them first then speak to Amy’s parents and Alan’s social worker. If you see Lucy, will you tell her that I’ll catch up with her later?’

  He ushered the children into the office so he could talk to them in private. He wanted to get to the bottom of why they had run away because he didn’t want it happening again. One of the trust’s lawyers was with them and he insisted on joining them, obviously concerned about the impact their disappearance could have on the hospital’s reputation.

  ‘OK, guys, sit yourselves down and tell me what you were up to. You must have realised that a lot of people would be extremely worried about you so why did you do it?’

  ‘Nobody’s worried about me,’ Alan muttered. ‘They don’t care what happens to me at that place. That’s why I never want to go back there!’

  ‘It’s the same for me,’ Amy said, tears rolling down her face. ‘My parents are too busy to worry about me. I’m just a nuisance to them. The only thing they care about is how much money they make.’

  Connor sighed. They were too very unhappy kids but he had to make them understand the danger they’d put themselves in. ‘I know you thought you had a genuine reason for running away but what if something had happened to you? The staff on this ward would have been blamed and that wouldn’t have been fair to them, would it?’

  They looked so downcast at the idea that he didn’t have the heart to chastise them any more. ‘I want you both to promise me that you won’t do anything like this again.’

  They gave him their word so he took them back to the ward and went to talk to the Marshalls and Alan’s social worker. Mr and Mrs Marshall were very indignant when he relayed what Amy had said, and threatened to sue him if he repeated the comments to anyone else, but Connor didn’t back down. As he pointed out to them, their daughter was unhappy enough at home to abuse inhalants, and so unhappy that she’d decided to run away ra
ther than go back there.

  He pulled no punches when it came to the treatment Alan had received at the care home either. He told the social worker that standards there needed to be improved and that he intended to see that they were. The trust’s lawyer was almost apoplectic by the time he’d finished but Connor didn’t care. Someone needed to stand up for these kids and he was just the person to do it.

  He went back to the ward after the meeting ended and examined the children. They seemed none the worse for their exploits so he asked Sandra to make sure they had their lunch and to call him immediately if she was worried about them.

  There was still no sign of Lucy when he left and he sighed as he made his way to the lift. So much for his plans to spend a little quality time with her! He had a finance meeting that afternoon so it would be the end of the day before he could catch up with her now. As he got into the lift, he realised that the time couldn’t come soon enough. Every second he spent away from her was a second wasted.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  LUCY had no idea how she got through the day. The horror of discovering how Connor had tricked her made her feel ill. She didn’t want to believe that he could have treated her so badly but what else was she supposed to think after overhearing what he’d said to Dee? He wanted Izzy for Dee’s sake, and he was prepared to do whatever it took to achieve his objective—including sleeping with her.

  ‘You look really awful, Lucy. Don’t you feel well?’

  Lucy dredged up a smile when Sandra accosted her as she was leaving the ward. ‘I’ve got a headache.’

  ‘Oh, poor you!’ Sandra exclaimed. ‘Mind you, it’s no wonder after what’s been happening recently, is it?’

  Lucy sighed when she saw the curiosity on her friend’s face. ‘If you mean Connor then why don’t you come out and say so?’

  ‘Because I was trying to be tactful, of course.’ Sandra grinned at her. ‘You’re a dark horse, Lucy. I would never have guessed that he was Izzy’s father in a million years!’

  Lucy smiled thinly. It wasn’t the most tactful comment, although no doubt a lot of other people felt that way: they couldn’t understand what Connor had seen in her. ‘You weren’t supposed to guess. That’s the reason I kept quiet about it.’

  ‘Did Connor know about Izzy before he came back here?’ Sandra asked inquisitively.

  ‘Yes, he knew.’ And he had made his plans accordingly, she thought, although she didn’t say so, of course.

  Fortunately, the office phone started ringing so she made her escape but she knew how awkward it was going to be from now on, working with Connor. Now that she understood why he had come back to England, she wasn’t sure if she could bear to be around him. He had used her but if he thought he was going to use their daughter, he was mistaken! Izzy wasn’t a commodity. She couldn’t be used to fill the hole in Dee’s life. Even though Lucy felt sorry for Dee, she wouldn’t allow her daughter to be made use of that way. And she intended to make that perfectly clear to Connor as soon as she saw him.

  There was no time to go in search of him then, though. The phone call was from A and E to say that they had ten-year-old twin boys who needed admitting. Nicholas and Simon Gentry had been rushed into hospital after suffering severe asthma attacks. The family was on holiday in the area so their GP had been contacted and he had agreed to fax through their notes. Although both boys were stable now, their sats were down so the A and E consultant had decided to keep them in overnight.

  Lucy got them settled in neighbouring beds then paged Connor. Their mother had accompanied them to the ward and she looked very shaky when Lucy showed her to the relatives’ room.

  ‘I don’t what set them off today. I checked their air flow this morning as I always do and they were fine. I know Nicholas had a bit of cold last week but Simon didn’t catch it,’ Mrs Gentry explained worriedly.

  ‘Do you know what tends to trigger their attacks?’ Lucy asked.

  ‘Anything and everything!’ Mrs Gentry sank down onto a chair. ‘It started off with cat hair…we had a cat when they were born, you see, but we had to have her rehomed because the boys were wheezing all the time. The attacks stopped for a while but they started off again and this time our GP said that they might be allergic to house dust so we got rid of all the carpets and had wooden floors laid.’

  ‘Did that help?’ Lucy asked sympathetically.

  ‘Yes. But then they started nursery school and the whole cycle began again—I was beside myself with worry every time I took them to school!’

  ‘It must have been very difficult for you.’

  ‘It’s been a nightmare and it still is. I’m terrified that something is going to happen to them both…’

  Lucy patted her shoulder when the poor woman started to cry. She looked up when Mary knocked on the door to tell her that Connor had arrived. She asked Mary to stay with Mrs Gentry and left the room, steeling herself as she made her way to the office. She didn’t intend to have a row with him here and run the risk of anyone hearing what she said. What she wanted to say to him needed to be said in private.

  ‘Hi! I believe you wanted me?’

  Her heart ached when he greeted her with a warm smile. If she hadn’t overheard that conversation then she would have fallen for it. She couldn’t believe that he could behave this way towards her but, there again, he had a lot to gain, didn’t he?

  The thought that he was prepared to put Dee’s happiness above hers and Izzy’s was too painful. She had to make a conscious effort not to show how devastated she felt. ‘We’ve just admitted ten-year-old twins who have both suffered severe asthma attacks. Their sats are down and A and E wants them monitored overnight. The family is here on holiday so we don’t have full case histories for them yet.’

  ‘I take it they’re on a treatment regime?’ he said, instantly focusing on the problem.

  ‘Yes. And their mother seems to be very capable, too,’ she replied, resenting the fact that he could instantly switch his mind back on track. Did he behave like this with Dee? she wondered. Or did he find it far more difficult to remain focused when he was with the woman he really loved?

  Her breath caught on a sob and she cleared her throat when she saw him look at her. A and E have asked the GP to fax their notes through but I imagine their mother can fill in a lot of the background details.’

  ‘I’d better have a word with her first, then.’ He got up and went to the door, pausing when she went to follow him out. ‘Are you all right, Lucy?’ he said softly, searching her face with eyes that appeared to be filled with tender concern.

  ‘Fine,’ she said shortly. She wasn’t going to allow herself to be duped again like she’d been duped last night.

  Her heart caught as the memory of what had happened came rushing back while she made her way from the office. She had honestly thought that he had loved her last night and that the way he had behaved with her then—so tender, so caring, so passionate—had been proof of that. Now she could see that it had been all an act, a means to get what he wanted, and what he wanted most was Dee’s happiness.

  She didn’t think she would ever forgive him for what he’d done. He had taken her heart and trampled all over it, not once but twice. All she could do now was to make sure that he didn’t get the chance to do the same to Izzy. He might want Izzy now for Dee’s sake but what would happen if Dee discovered that she couldn’t love the little girl? Would Izzy then become surplus to their requirements?

  The thought of her precious child suffering the kind of heartache she had to endure was more than Lucy could bear. No matter what Connor said or what claims he made from now on, she wasn’t going to believe him!

  Connor could tell that there was something wrong with Lucy but he wasn’t sure what had happened to upset her. He knew that the hospital’s gossip mill had been working overtime and that everyone must know that he was Izzy’s father, so was it that which was worrying her? Although it didn’t bother him, he could understand it if Lucy found it distressing to know that p
eople were talking about them.

  She was a very private person and he wished he could have spared her all this embarrassment. Maybe they should do something to squash all the rumours? If they got married then that would soon put an end to the speculation, but how would she feel about the idea of marrying him?

  Connor frowned as he followed her to the relatives’ room. He had no idea how she felt about marriage because they had never discussed it. Marriage had never been on his agenda in the past but it was on it now—and at the top of the list, too. He smiled in amazement when he realised how much he had changed. He’d switched from being a career-orientated bachelor to a prospective husband almost overnight! Now all he had to do was to convince Lucy that he was serious and he could make his new dreams come true.

  It was a tantalising thought and he found it difficult to put it out of his mind as he introduced himself to Mrs Gentry. He could see how upset the poor woman was and smiled encouragingly at her. ‘Your boys are in the best possible place so try not to worry. I know how frightening asthma attacks can be and it’s doubly bad for you, but the twins will be fine.’

  ‘I’ve never seen them this bad before, Dr Mackenzie.’ The woman wiped her eyes. ‘I can’t understand it because I’m always so careful. I check their peak flow reading three times a day and make sure they take their medication exactly on time. Their routine hasn’t changed just because we’re on holiday.’

  ‘It isn’t your fault that this has happened,’ he assured her. ‘Can you give me some idea of their treatment regime and the drugs they’re currently taking?’

  ‘I brought their medication with me.’

  Mrs Gentry opened her bag and showed him the drugs. Connor nodded. Both boys were taking corticosteroids, which were highly effective in controlling the symptoms of asthma when used on a daily basis. Although corticosteroids could cause side effects, it was less likely when they were inhaled because only very small amounts were absorbed into the bloodstream.

  ‘That’s fine,’ he said, handing the medication back to her. ‘I am certainly not going to interfere with the treatment your own doctor has prescribed for them. What I would like to do, though, is to find out what might have triggered the attacks today.’