A Baby of His Own

by Jennifer Taylor

  Lucy hurried over to another group of firefighters but they hadn’t seen Connor either. One of the staff was marking off the names of all the children on a register and there seemed to be just three missing now—all of them young babies who had been in the most severely damaged section of the crèche.

  Lucy could see the sympathy on the other parents’ faces as they collected their children and hurried them away, but she wasn’t going to give up hope yet. Connor would get Izzy out—he would! He loved her too much to let anything happen to her!

  The thought came out of nowhere, yet she knew it was true. Connor loved Izzy for herself and not because of what she might mean for him and Dee. That was why he had risked his own life to save her. He loved their precious child every bit as much as she did and she’d been wrong to say that he couldn’t have anything more to do with her.

  Lucy wrapped her arms around herself as her fear grew. She had to hold onto the belief that Connor would bring their daughter safely back to her. It was all she had and she wanted it to be true, but she also wanted Connor to be safe, too. She loved him, as well—so much. Even though he could never love her, she couldn’t bear to imagine any harm coming to him. A world without Connor in it would be such a lonely place.

  There was a sudden flurry of activity around the entrance to the building and she swung round when she heard someone shouting for a stretcher. A couple of paramedics raced inside and Lucy held her breath as she waited to see what was happening.

  Some members of the fire crew suddenly emerged from the ruins carrying the last of the children, and she cried out in relief when she saw that one of them was Izzy. She ran forward and took her in her arms, covering her face with kisses. The little girl was covered in dust and bits of plaster but she didn’t appear to have been injured; she even started laughing when Lucy kissed her.

  ‘Let’s get him into A and E, stat!’

  Lucy swung round when she heard one of the A and E staff shouting instructions and felt her heart turn over when she realised he was talking about Connor. The paramedics were carrying him out of the building on a stretcher and they wasted no time as they hurried towards the accident and emergency department. She had to run to catch up with them.

  ‘What’s happened to him?’ she demanded, her breath catching when she saw how pale and still he looked.

  ‘Crush injuries,’ the registrar told her succinctly. ‘It looked as though he was trying to protect the kids by holding up a section of the wall. We just managed to get them out before it caved in, but he wasn’t so lucky.’

  He didn’t say anything else as he led the paramedic crew into the A and E department, but he didn’t need to. Lucy could picture the scene for herself and her eyes filled with tears at the thought of what Connor had done. He had risked his own life for Izzy and the other babies, and it was a measure of the man he was—strong, honest, true. All she could hope now was that she would be able to tell him how grateful she was. And after she’d told him that then she would also make it clear that she would never stop him seeing Izzy. He had saved their daughter’s life and he had earned that right.

  She took a deep breath. Even though she knew it was what she wanted to do, it still hurt. But if Connor wanted to help Dee by allowing her to share in his daughter’s future, she wouldn’t stand in his way.

  Someone was playing the drums inside his skull.

  Connor groaned as he opened his eyes. He couldn’t remember having a headache like this since he had been a student and had gone out to celebrate passing his finals. And even then his head hadn’t ached this badly.

  ‘Connor? Can you hear me?’

  He frowned when he heard Lucy talking to him. She sounded so distressed that he could only assume that she felt as bad as he did. Had they been out celebrating and drunk rather too much wine? But celebrating what?

  He slowly turned his head and moaned when the thumping inside his head just got worse. ‘I swear I’m never going to touch another drop of alcohol,’ he muttered, closing his eyes in the vain hope that it might make him feel better.

  ‘Oh, Connor, darling, it isn’t a hangover that’s making you feel like that! Don’t you remember what happened?’

  Connor wasn’t sure what to deal with first. The fact that Lucy had called him ‘darling’ definitely required a response of some sort, but her question also seemed to deserve some attention. Exactly what was he supposed to remember?

  He forced the pain to recede while he tried to work it out and gasped as he suddenly remembered what had happened. Opening his eyes, he stared at Lucy in horror. ‘Izzy…!’

  ‘She’s fine, Connor. There wasn’t a scratch on her or on the other two babies.’ Tears rolled down her face as she bent over and kissed him on the cheek. ‘Thank you so much for what you did. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t found her…’

  A sob suddenly caught up with her and he felt his own eyes fill with tears too as all the fear caught up with him. ‘I was so scared, Lucy,’ he whispered. ‘I thought I was going to lose her…’

  He couldn’t go on but he didn’t need to explain. Lucy understood how he felt because she had gone through the same agony with him. His heart ached when it struck him that it was a bond they would always share. No matter what happened between them, they would always worry about Izzy, always want what was best for her. They both loved their precious daughter so much and it seemed wrong that they should let a stupid misunderstanding get in the way of them working together to secure her future.

  Lifting his hand, he touched Lucy’s cheek. ‘I love Izzy and I will never do anything to hurt her. I know you find it difficult to trust me, Lucy, but it’s true.’

  ‘I believe you.’ She drew back and smiled at him, and Connor felt his heart give an almighty jerk when he saw the warmth in her eyes. He had never thought he would see her look at him that way again and the relief made him feel so weak that he couldn’t speak.

  ‘I really do believe you,’ she said urgently, mistaking his silence for disbelief. She gripped his hand and held it tightly and he could tell that she was on the verge of breaking down. ‘I know that you will never do anything to harm Izzy so if…if you feel that it would help you and Dee to spend time with her, I swear I won’t stand in your way.’

  ‘Thank you,’ he said softly, overwhelmed by emotion. ‘You have no idea how much it means to me to hear you say that.’

  ‘I think I can guess,’ she murmured, avoiding his eyes.

  ‘I’m sure you can. But you would be wrong.’ He smiled when he saw the confusion on her face as she looked at him. ‘Dee and I are not having an affair and we never have been having one. Dee is engaged to a really great guy called Mike Wilson, who happens to be a friend of mine from Boston.’

  ‘A friend? But I don’t understand! If you and Dee aren’t involved then why were you trying to persuade her that she would grow to love Izzy?’

  ‘I wasn’t.’ He sighed softly. ‘Think about what you heard, Lucy. Did I ever mention Izzy’s name?’

  ‘No…’ she said slowly.

  ‘No,’ he said firmly. ‘I can’t go into too much detail because it’s not up to me to discuss Dee’s situation. Suffice to say that Mike had come up with a solution to the problem of them not being able to have a family and had flown over to England to talk to her about it.’ He shrugged. ‘I told her what I thought of the idea—that was all.’

  ‘So the baby you mentioned wasn’t Izzy?’

  ‘No. Izzy is our child—yours and mine. And I was never, ever trying to make use of her in any way. All I want to do is to make sure she is safe and happy and that I can play a part in her future, even if it’s only a very small one.’

  ‘I got it completely wrong, didn’t I?’ she said brokenly. ‘You were telling me the truth all along and I didn’t believe you.’

  ‘I don’t blame you, Lucy. If anyone’s to blame then it’s me.’ He cleared his throat but it was hard to conquer the feeling of despair that was creeping up on him. ‘The biggest
mistake I ever made was leaving you. I should have listened to my heart instead of my head and stayed here.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘That I love you. That’s why I went away, in fact. I knew that I was falling in love with you and I was terrified.’ He closed his eyes because he couldn’t bear to look at her in case she didn’t believe him.

  ‘I love you, too, Connor. I always have.’

  The words were softly spoken yet they had the impact of a speeding bullet and his eyes flew open again. ‘You love me?’

  ‘Yes.’ She smiled at him. ‘That’s why I’ve been so desperate to keep you at arm’s length. I was afraid of getting hurt again, you see.’

  ‘I will never hurt you!’ he promised, and there was a world of conviction in his voice. He gripped her hand. ‘I know how hard it must be for you to believe me—’

  ‘It isn’t.’ She bent and kissed him gently on the mouth and there were tears of joy in her eyes this time when she looked at him. ‘Now that you’ve told me that you love me, it’s the easiest thing in the world to believe in you.’

  He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed it. ‘I don’t deserve you, my love. I just wish I’d told you how I really felt the other night. I wanted to so desperately but I was afraid.’

  ‘Afraid I wouldn’t believe you?’

  ‘Partly. I was more afraid that the words wouldn’t be enough. People told me things when I was a child and they didn’t mean them…’

  He couldn’t go on but Lucy didn’t need him to explain. He could tell from her expression that she had filled in the gaps. When she leant over and kissed him this time, Connor felt a great surge of relief wash away any fears he might have had. Lucy understood because she cared about him. She loved him and she believed in him. He would never need to prove his worth to her because she already believed he was worth her love.

  He couldn’t begin to explain how wonderful it made him feel to know that, and didn’t try. Why waste time on words when actions could speak for him? He returned the kiss, letting his lips meld with hers so that they were both breathless when they drew apart. Lucy ran a trembling hand over her hair and blushed.

  ‘It’s a good job they put you in a private room or we’d have an audience right now!’

  ‘Let them look,’ he said smugly, enjoying feeling loved and wanted for the first time in his entire life. ‘We might be able to show them a thing or two!’

  ‘Cheeky!’ She laughed at that then suddenly sobered. ‘Joking apart, though, you must take things easy until you’re better.’

  ‘What was the verdict?’ he asked, realising for the first time that he hadn’t given much thought to the injuries he’d suffered. He wriggled his fingers and toes and breathed a sigh of relief when everything worked as it should. Apart from a lot of aches and pains, he didn’t feel that bad.

  ‘They were worried in case you were suffering from crush syndrome at first—apparently one of the internal walls, which you’d been holding up over the babies to protect them, collapsed on you.’

  She shuddered and he gently squeezed her hand. ‘They’re OK, though, aren’t they? The babies, I mean?’

  ‘They’re fine…every single one of them.’ She managed to smile at him but he could tell the effort it cost her. ‘Anyway, A and E ran all the usual tests to see if there were protein pigments in your bloodstream from any damaged muscles and there weren’t. Your kidney function wasn’t impaired either so the consensus is that you’ve been extremely lucky. Apart from a mild concussion, you seem to have escaped relatively unscathed, but you still need to take life easy for a few days.’

  ‘Mild? Mild!’ He hammed it up for all he was worth, wanting to take her mind off what had happened. He knew how he would have felt if the situation had been reversed and couldn’t bear to imagine her suffering. ‘I’ll have you know this is the worst headache I have ever had in my entire life. In fact, if I had to rate it on a scale of one to ten, it would be a definite eleven!’

  ‘In that case, you need to rest.’ She dropped a kiss on his lips and stood up. Connor stared at her in shock.

  ‘You aren’t leaving me?’

  ‘I’m afraid so. I was only supposed to stay for ten minutes and it’s way past that. Any minute now, I’ll be thrown out.’

  Connor groaned when the door opened and a nurse appeared. ‘You two are working hand in glove,’ he accused them.

  Lucy grinned when the other nurse looked questioningly at her. ‘Temper tantrum. Take no notice. I’m used to dealing with this kind of thing on Paeds.’

  The other nurse chuckled. She told Lucy her time was up then closed the door. Connor looked imploringly at her but she hardened her heart.

  ‘There’s no point looking at me like that. You need to rest and I intend to see that you do so.’ She walked to the door then turned and blew him a kiss. ‘That will have to keep you going until I come back.’

  Connor was still grumbling when she closed the door and she smiled as she left the assessment ward. He could grumble all he liked but she wasn’t going to give in. She wanted him fit and well so they could get on with the rest of their lives together. Him, her and Izzy…their daughter!

  Three months later…

  ‘Lucy, are you ready? The car’s here.’

  Connor hurried to the door then stopped when it opened and Lucy appeared. For a second he couldn’t seem to catch his breath as he stared at her. She looked so beautiful in the soft cream dress she had chosen to wear for their wedding. He was useless at describing women’s clothes but it certainly pressed all the right buttons so far as he was concerned!

  He stepped forward and took her in his arms. ‘You look stunning,’ he said, his voice grating with emotion. He nuzzled her cheek because he didn’t want to spoil her lipstick by kissing her, but she turned and kissed him instead.

  ‘So I pass muster, do I?’ she said, smiling up at him.

  ‘Oh, yes. You most certainly do.’ He kissed her hungrily, wondering if any man had ever felt as he did at that moment. In half an hour’s time he and Lucy would exchange their vows and promise to stay with each other until they died.

  Once such a promise would have been unthinkable but now he knew it was going to happen and that it was going to last. Lucy was going to stay with him and he would stay with her and nothing—absolutely nothing!—would separate them again. He only hoped that he would live to be a hundred because it would mean that he had all those years to spend loving her. Yet in his heart he knew that not even a lifetime with Lucy would be enough.

  He kissed her again then stepped back when he heard the sound of a car horn. ‘Sounds like our driver is getting impatient. Shall I fetch Izzy?’

  ‘Please. She’s all ready.’

  Lucy smiled as he hurried out of the room. Their wedding was to be a very simple affair because that was what she’d wanted. Her family would be there and a few friends, including Dee and her fiancé, who had flown over from Boston specially to attend. The service was being held in the local church and there would be a small reception afterwards but that was it. Neither she nor Connor had wanted a lot of fuss.

  ‘Here she is. And she’s as gorgeous as her mummy.’

  She turned when Connor came back with Izzy. He held out his hand, and she could see the love in his eyes. ‘Ready to go now?’

  ‘More than ready.’ Lucy took his hand then kissed him on the cheek. ‘I love you,’ she whispered.

  ‘And I love you too, my darling.’ He kissed her back then kissed Izzy as well. ‘Let’s go and make this official, then we can get on with our lives as a proper family. I don’t know about you two girls, but I can’t wait!’

  ISBN: 978-1-4603-5869-6

  A BABY OF HIS OWN

  First North American Publication 2006

  Copyright © 2006 by Jennifer Taylor

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  All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author and have no relation whatsoever to anyone bearing the same name or names. They are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

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