Going The Distance (Four Corners Book 3)

by Artemis Anders

  “What?” Hannah cried, laughing. “You did not get hard.”

  “I did.” He gazed at her. “Little did I know you’d turn out to be the one person I’d actually want to talk to.”

  Hannah smiled at that.

  “And it was time,” he went on, stroking his jaw. “Time for Grizzly to shave and get a haircut and go back to work.”

  “And work the High Peaks 100.”

  He nodded. “I knew that would be good for me, and it was.”

  Hannah put her hand on his leg. “I’m sorry. For everything you went through. We civilians will never fully get it, will we?”

  He put his hand on hers. “I don’t want you to get something like that.” He looked at her. “By the way, that limp-dick asshole you mentioned… he was wrong about you. You make me happy, and there’s no way a woman like you will die alone. He just said that to hurt you, because he’s a man-child who hasn’t learned that he can’t always get what he wants.”

  Hannah leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “I don’t need him or any of those guys, when I have a real man in my life.”

  Cain’s eyes twinkled just momentarily. Hannah then realized that maybe her friends were right. Maybe she’d just needed to meet the right guy, the one who understood her, who appreciated her for who she was. Maybe it was because he was like her in so many ways, or maybe it was because his painful past had taught him how to deal with difficulty. Hannah admired Cain’s fortitude, that he was able to endure such suffering and still continue practicing medicine in what had to be a difficult setting. All she could see was his toughness, how much he cared about others in his own way, and how much better the world was with him in it. How much better her life was with him in it.

  They spent the morning hiking and exploring before they packed up and hiked back down. And it wasn’t until Monday that Hannah left Cain’s cabin early in the morning and went home to get ready for work.

  That week, Hannah opted to hike instead of attempting to run again. She missed running and longed to put on her running shoes instead of her hiking boots, but her longing lacked the fervor she’d felt before. She would run when the time felt right, when her foot had gained more strength from hiking.

  More and more, Hannah had begun to believe that Cain’s approach to running and racing was the way to go. She found that many of the most talented and accomplished ultra-runners shared some version of his philosophy. Regular distance runners could get away with more goal-driven, demanding schedules, but if you wanted to run crazy distances in extreme conditions, you had to learn to train your mind just as much as your body. And you had to respect your body.

  When she finally went out for her first run since her re-injury, she only ran three miles, and she did so while paying close attention to her body.

  At first, she felt slow, stiff, and labored. As such, she ran at a much slower pace than she was used to, but one that felt right for where she was. She ran along the trail, enjoying her freedom and listening to herself breathe. She stopped now and again to take in a view or take a picture to post on Facebook—she’d begun taking her phone with her on all runs as Cain asked her to, as a just-in-case, but also to capture anything that caught her eye. Then, later, she’d look at the pics, focusing more on those than on her pace or mileage.

  True, Hannah wondered how the hell she would ever get back to where she was in terms of mileage and fitness, but she pushed away those thoughts and decided to trust that, somehow, if she listened to her body, she would get there. And these few months of autumn would get her physically and mentally ready to start training in winter.

  Besides, if worse came to worse and Cain’s unconventional advice only made her miserable, she could always go back to her traditional training regime and just be more careful about not overtraining.

  That evening, as Hannah curled up in her hammock on the cool night, her phone rang. It was Diana.

  “Hey sweetie!” came Diana’s happy voice.

  “Hey, D! How’s the bump?”

  “It’s huge. Or it feels huge to me, anyway.”

  “It’s so good to hear your voice,” Hannah said. “You sound happy.”

  “I am! How’s your foot doing? It must be killing you not to run.”

  “It’s better. I’m just starting to run again. I admit it was totally killing me not to run, but now I’m trying something new. I’m trying to take it slow and respect my body and find pleasure in other things.”

  There was a moment of silence at the other end of the phone. “Wait. Did I hear you correctly? This is Hannah I’m talking to, right?”

  Hannah laughed. “It’s me. I’ve turned over a new aspen leaf. We’ll see if it works.”

  “What brought this on?”

  “Oh, long story…”

  “Does it have anything to do with this guy you’ve been seeing? The doctor you’ve been so secretive about? The one Teagan said totally has your number?”

  Hannah smiled at that. “I’ll tell you everything this weekend, assuming you’re open to a visitor…”

  “I’d love a visitor!” Diana squealed. “You can stay in the spare bedroom if you want to, at least until the baby comes. Or if you want to camp, you’re welcome to use our shower. I have a couple clients on Saturday, but I’m free the rest of the weekend. We can go hiking!”

  “That sounds perfect, D.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  When Hannah arrived in Red Rim Valley, she smiled at the sheer number of bikes everywhere—cruising down the streets, mounted on people’s cars, displayed in the windows of the bike shops she passed. Somehow, on the four-plus hour drive, the scenery had shifted dramatically from the blanketed green peaks of the Rocky Mountains to the rusty-red rock cliffs of the Utah desert. It was a beautiful September day, warm and bright and sunny.

  Red Rim did have its own unique beauty, for sure, and Hannah always looked forward to visiting and running on different trails. But no matter how beautiful it was, no matter how many sandstone cliffs she passed or how vivid that blue sky got, to her it paled in comparison to the cool quiet of the forest, where she could hide away from everything.

  She passed through town and drove through the river canyon, where there were campsites dotted along the Colorado River. She finally found one and set up her tent under a tree, the Colorado quietly rushing by. She relaxed for a while before heading back into town to drop by Diana and Asher’s place.

  When Diana answered the door with a big smile, Hannah grinned and hugged her friend, careful not to smoosh Diana’s sizable baby bump.

  “Look at you!” Hannah said. “You look so glowing!”

  Diana’s petite curvy build swelled with her late-term pregnancy, and she was quite a bit larger than last time Hannah had seen her. She looked bright-eyed and healthy. And happy.

  “Thank you, sweetie,” Diana said. “Come on in and say hi to Ash, and then we can go get some dinner.”

  Hannah went inside to find Asher standing in the kitchen, his good-looking self in shorts and an Alabama Shakes t-shirt, his myriad tattoos and leather bracelets gracing his lean arms, and his wild hair pulled back. He was so different than what Hannah, or anyone for that matter, had ever expected Diana to settle down with, but they were a perfect match.

  Hannah smiled. “Hey, Ash.”

  Asher came in for a hug. Hannah obliged him; she wasn’t a big hugger, but she made exceptions for people she cared about, and men who made her friends happy.

  “Good to see you, Hannah,” he said. “You two going to dinner?”

  “You don’t mind, do you?” Diana said.

  Asher shook his head. “I’m going to head out for a short ride with J.T. Have fun.”

  Hannah and Diana left and walked toward Main Street, catching up on Diana’s pregnancy and her growing therapy practice.

  “Still no wedding plans?” Hannah asked.

  Diana shook her head. “I just can’t be bothered. We’ve got too much going on to plan something like that and… I don’t know. It
feels kind of good to throw the old rule book out the window.”

  “Are your parents still upset about the child-out-of-wedlock thing?”

  “Oh, yes,” she said, giggling. “Especially my dad. But I think the prospect of my having a baby is the one thing keeping them from fully ousting me. What are they going to do, not talk to their daughter or their grandchild because I’m a heathen?”

  Hannah laughed. “I love this side of you. I’m giving Ash some of the credit.”

  “For sure. Although a good shrink helps, too. Shedding old belief systems isn’t as easy as you might think.”

  When they sat down at their favorite Thai place and ordered their meals, Diana eyed Hannah, her dark eyes twinkling with glee.

  “So, Miss Hannah. What’s the story with your new ‘leaf,’ and the guy who convinced you to turn it over?”

  “His name is Cain.”

  “Ooh, a Biblical name! Like Asher!”

  Hannah chuckled. She told Diana everything. Well, not everything, not the private stuff, like their sexual adventures, Cain’s painful past, or other small things that should remain only between her and Cain. Many women held nothing back with their closest friends, but Hannah wasn’t one of those women. She trusted Diana, but for some reason, there were just some things that couldn’t be shared.

  Hannah did, however, tell Diana all about how she and Cain had slowly grown closer to one another over the past three months—about their camping and backpacking trips, their dinners on his deck or at her house, and his giving her a ration of shit about not listening to her body when she trained for and ran High Peaks.

  “My goodness, Hannah. When you mentioned him before, you made it sound like he was just a guy you were having fun with. You never mentioned any of this!”

  “I know. Don’t be offended.”

  Diana smiled. “I’m not, sweetie. I know you. You didn’t want to say anything until you were sure there was something to say.”

  Hannah nodded. She couldn’t have put it better herself.

  “What’s he like?”

  “He was an Army doctor, and now he works at the V.A. Hospital. He used to run ultras. He loves backpacking and the mountains. He says what he thinks, with little filter. He’s not a people person, but he cares about people. And… he really called me on my obsessive running and said I was doing it for all the wrong reasons. It took me a while, but I think I’m starting to see that he’s totally right.”

  “Wow. This guy sounds perfect for you. ”

  Hannah made a face, such a declaration making her uncomfortable.

  “Oh, come on, Hannah!” Diana said, gesturing with her fork before she gathered some more pad thai. “Don’t you find it strange that the one time in all these years that you got lost, you wound up at his house? Then he shows up at your race, right when you were at your worst, ready with the perfect advice? And that he’s basically the male version of you? It’s like it was meant to be!”

  “I don’t know about that,” Hannah said, pushing her food around her plate with her chopsticks.

  Diana eyed her. “Why does it bother you when I say those things?”

  Hannah sighed. Busted. “Because I’m afraid that the moment I even let myself think anything like that, he’s going to turn into an asshole.” She knew it sounded irrational, and she waited for Diana to say so. But she didn’t.

  “I totally get it,” Diana said, nodding.

  “You do?”

  “Of course. When you picture yourself with a certain kind of person, or in your case no person at all, it’s scary when someone comes along and challenges that, and you don’t know if it’s the real thing or just some big fucking farce that will bite you in the ass down the road.”

  Hannah nodded, her plate of drunken noodles forgotten. “Exactly.”

  “Do you love him? And be honest,” Diana added, pointing at Hannah. “You don’t have to be honest with me, but be as honest with yourself as you are with everyone else.”

  Love him?

  “I don’t know,” Hannah admitted. “I don’t think like that. I haven’t let myself think like that. But I know that I love being with him. He never crowds me and I never find myself wanting to be away from him. It’s like he gets me, and he likes me for who I am. When he calls and wants to get together, I never say no. I actually look forward to it. I even miss him when I don’t hear from him for a while because he’s working long shifts or doing this thing. It’s pathetic.”

  Diana laughed. “It’s not pathetic. That’s how it should feel.”

  Hannah poked at a snap pea. “What if he hurts me? What if I fall for him and he turns out to be…”

  “Then you dress the wound, take whatever you learned from him, and try again with someone else. It’s like the High Peaks 100. You didn’t reach your goal and it devastated you. But now you’ve learned a few things and you’ll try again. Someday, you’ll get it right.”

  Hannah nodded. “That makes sense.”

  The next day, Saturday, the two of them went hiking after Diana finished with her clients. Afterward, they picked up some groceries and cooked dinner for Ash while he finished working at his bike shop.

  Later that night, as Hannah sat out under a desert sky glutted with stars, she listened to the crickets and to the Colorado River quietly drifting by. And she thought about what Diana said. Maybe Diana was right. Maybe she should just open her heart and go the full distance. But was she ready? More importantly, was Cain ready? He’d been through so much.

  Yet, if their recent backpacking trip were any indication, he seemed ready. For what, she wasn’t entirely sure, but for something she was fully on board with.

  Her phone beeped. When she checked it, she had a text from Cain.

  CJ: Hey Grace. Hope you’re having fun in Red Rim.

  He’d attached a pic of a glass filled with just a bit of bourbon. Hannah smiled and sent him an emoji of her blowing him a kiss. Her phone beeped again.

  CJ: I’ll give you something to wrap those lips around.

  HC: Pig.

  CJ: ;)

  Hannah laughed. She loved Cain’s piggish side. Because she knew that with him, it wasn’t piggish at all. It was his unique way of showing he cared.

  The next day, after spending more time with Diana and Asher, Hannah headed back to Colorado. When she pulled into her driveway, her phone rang.

  “Home yet?” came a deep voice.

  “Just pulling up.”

  “Come over. I miss that pussy.”

  Hannah lay next to Cain in his cool, dark bedroom, a thin layer of sweat covering her. They were silent for several minutes, catching their breath.

  Finally, she rolled onto her side and propped her head on her hand. “I guess you did miss this pussy.”

  Cain laughed, patting her hip. “It’s a top-notch pussy.”

  Hannah smiled.

  “Did you get some running in out there?” Cain asked.

  “Some. Just a few miles. Mostly, I hiked with Diana. I’ll attempt a couple more runs this week.”

  Cain turned his head toward her, his eyebrows raised. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were actually taking my advice.”

  “I am taking your advice. Or trying to. I’m trying to listen to my body, but it’s harder than I thought it would be. It’s easier to just follow a schedule.”

  “It’ll take time before you get to know your body’s needs. I’ve gotten to the point where I know instinctively how much I can run on any given day and when to stop. But there’s a certain amount of trial and error to it.

  “Makes sense. I’ve thought about getting more involved in the ultrarunning community. I even signed up to volunteer at the Sagebrush Fifty in a few weeks. I thought it might be fun to help out, and maybe do some camping before it gets too cold. You could come with me if you want to… the race is on the Western Slope, though, which means you might have to brave the temperature getting above seventy.” She smiled, teasing Cain about his strong preference for cool weather.<
br />
  “I’d love to, but I won’t be available.”

  “Oh. You already know your schedule for next month?”

  “Sort of.”

  Hannah eyed him, Cain’s strange tone nagging at her. “What do you mean, sort of?”

  Cain hesitated a moment, then looked at her again. “I’m being redeployed. And I leave in a week.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Hannah stared at Cain, her mind trying to wrap itself around what he’d just told her.

  “You’re leaving? In a week?”

  He nodded.

  Hannah sat up on the bed and faced Cain. “How… how long will you be gone?”

  “I don’t know for sure. At least three months, maybe even six.”

  Hannah still stared. Three months, maybe six.

  “I don’t understand. I thought… I thought you were done. With the Army.”

  “Technically, no. I was on extended leave, and now they’ve called me back to duty.”

  “But if you were on leave, then why work at the V.A.?”

  “That was part of the deal.”

  Hannah went silent, disappointment filling her, too many thoughts and too many questions coming to her all at once.

  Cain was leaving. Returning to duty. There would be no camping on the Western Slope next month. No fall backpacking when the aspen trees turned gold. And, if gone long enough, no skiing that winter. There would be no dinners on his deck, no late-night chats in bed, no dropping by after work for a quickie. And what if something happened to him? What if he got hurt?

  Hannah felt blindsided. Then, new questions came to her.

  “Cain, why didn’t you tell me that you would have to go back?”

  He just lay there, his eyes a swirl of unreadable emotions. “I… I didn’t realize I hadn’t been clear about that.”