Breaking All the Rules

by Rachael Richey

  “Just checking.” Sam looked down at her. “I was hoping we might be able to try the picnic again sometime. If you like.” He looked away, and Kate caught a hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

  Resisting the temptation to reach out and touch him, she shook her head. “I would love that. But I don’t know when. I seem to be really busy at the moment, so unless it was right now I’m not sure when I could fit it in.”

  She heard the words leave her mouth and marvelled at her own weakness. Here she was admitting to Sam that she wanted to see him again, just twenty-four hours after her ill-fated trip to London during which she had resolved to keep away from him.

  “Now sounds good to me.” Sam grinned at her. “Or at least it would if I wasn’t supposed to be working in the bar.”

  “What, now? You’re supposed to be behind the bar now?”

  “Yeah. I just popped out to speak to you when I saw you go in the shop.” Sam looked a bit sheepish. “It’s not very busy in there.”

  “You’d better go back.” Kate smiled. “I should get home, really, I suppose. I am meant to be ill.”

  “Come in for a drink first.” Sam smiled hopefully. “Just a quick one?”

  The sane voices in her head screaming at her to refuse, Kate nonetheless found herself saying, “Okay. Just a quick one, then,” and falling into step beside him as he headed back to the pub. What the hell was she thinking? She had decided she must avoid all contact with Sam until the wedding, and in fact after the wedding, but here she was going for a drink with him. It would have been easy for her to refuse.

  And she had also told him she wanted to go on another picnic with him. Was she actually losing her mind? Jen must definitely not hear about this little aberration!

  Sam pushed open the door of the pub and stood back to allow Kate to go through. “What d’you want to drink? On the house.”

  “Just a diet cola, please. Thank you.”

  Sam walked round behind the bar while Kate slid onto a high stool and rested her elbows on the bar. Glancing round cautiously, she noted there were only a couple of people in the lounge, and she didn’t recognise any of them.

  “There you go.” Sam placed a tall glass in front of her. “Don’t worry, no one will report back to your fiancé.”

  “I didn’t think…” Kate felt her face flushing. “I’m allowed to come to the pub for a drink. Specially when I’m friends with the barman.”

  “Of course. We’re friends.” Sam’s voice was neutral, and Kate looked up to find him watching her. “So you don’t think you’ll have time for another picnic before your wedding, then? That’s a shame.”

  Kate took a long drink of her cola, watching Sam over the rim. She was finding it hard to interpret his mood. “It’s all a bit hectic. And much as I’d like to, I’m not really sure I should.”

  “Maybe you shouldn’t really like to, then.” Sam moved away to serve another customer, and Kate stared after him. What had that meant? And why did he have to be quite so gorgeous? It really wasn’t making her plan to stay away from him any easier. In fact, he was making it harder. Why was he asking her out again when he knew she was getting married in less than two weeks?

  Less than two weeks. Kate felt her head start to swim, and she took another long drink. In less than two weeks she would be married to Richard. Forever. No chance of any more picnics. Was that why she was actually considering going on another one? Because it was her last chance?

  She drained her glass and placed it on the bar. She really had to leave before she misbehaved again. Coming into the pub was proving to be another of those Very Bad Ideas she kept having.

  “Sam,” she called down the bar to him. “I need to get back now. Thank you for the drink.”

  Sam moved along the bar and stopped in front of her. “Must you go? This is nice.”

  “I think I must.” Kate tried to keep her eyes from straying to his lips. “I really think I must.”

  “Okay.” Sam shrugged. “If you say so. You know where I am if you change your mind.”

  “Change my mind? About what?” Kate’s heart leapt into her mouth.

  “About the picnic, of course.” Sam was watching her closely. “What did you think I meant?”

  “Oh. The picnic. Yes. Okay. I know where you are.” Kate managed a small smile and headed towards the door.

  “Bye, Katy. See you soon.”

  Sam’s words followed her as she stepped back out onto the pavement and walked towards her car. He was really messing with her head. Did he know how she was feeling? Even she wasn’t sure how she was feeling. Now she was even more confused.

  ****

  Hey Jen, I’m bored. Can you skive off work and come over?

  Kate sent the message and lay back on her bed with an exaggerated sigh. Since she had returned home following her drink with Sam, she had been feeling very unsettled. She had had a bath, eaten a lot of cakes, watched a bit of daytime TV, and was now nearly climbing the walls with boredom tinged with guilt. It was all very well skiving when you got to spend the day in London, but to be stuck at home pretending she had a headache hadn’t turned out to be much fun, particularly now she was even more confused about her feelings for Sam. And Richard.

  Her phone bleeped, and she rolled onto her stomach to look at it.

  Why are you home? Are you ill?

  Boss sent me home, said I looked ill. Come and play with me!

  Kate watched as her reply sent, then rolled onto her back again. This time next week it would only be three days until the wedding. Three days until she was committed. But she still needed to speak to Richard about that woman in London. Maybe he was having an affair and the wedding would be off. There was no way she was going to marry him if he’d been unfaithful.

  She rolled onto her stomach again, and her fingers went up to her lips. Did Sam’s kisses count as unfaithful? It wasn’t as if she’d asked him to kiss her. And it would have been rude to pull away. No, they didn’t count, which was a good thing, because there was no way on earth she was going to tell Richard about them.

  She wasn’t going to tell him about the dates, either, or the fact that she wanted to go on another one. Maybe starting a marriage with secrets wasn’t the best idea in the world, but she couldn’t help feeling it would be even worse if she did tell him. He would either be very forgiving and she would then feel really guilty, or he would break up with her. She rather thought he would be forgiving, which in itself was rather boring.

  Her phone bleeped again, and she picked it up.

  I’m stuck here till four. I’ll come over then if you like?

  Kate smiled.

  Please do. And bring cake. She added a smiley face and pressed Send. So only another two hours and then Jen would arrive. She could probably cope with that.

  Maybe she should be useful and do some housework to take her mind off things. She quickly dismissed that idea, and getting to her feet, pulled open her cupboard doors and surveyed her clothes. Now might be the time to go through them and chuck out the stuff she never wore. She’d been meaning to do that for months.

  With a sigh she shook her head and closed the doors again. Too much like hard work. She’d just go back downstairs and watch some more daytime telly. That should pass the time. And maybe even have a cup of tea.

  In the end, the two hours passed fairly rapidly, and by the time Jenny arrived, Kate was tucked up on the sofa, a packet of crisps open on her lap and an empty mug by her side.

  “Well, you look comfy.” Jenny flopped down on a chair and kicked her shoes off. “What are you watching?”

  “Jeremy Kyle.” Kate took a mouthful of crisps and grinned. “Some guy was shagging his sister and didn’t know it. Usual stuff.”

  “Remember how we used to watch that when we were revising for our A levels?” Jenny rummaged in the large carrier bag she had brought in. “I got some cupcakes, and a bottle of Pinot. Is it too early, d’you think?”

  Kate sat up and turned the TV off. “It’s never too
early for cakes,” she said firmly, “and on this occasion I don’t think it’s too early for the wine, either. Get some glasses, will you? I don’t want to get up.”

  Tutting noisily, Jenny disappeared into the kitchen, returning with two large wine glasses and a couple of plates for the cakes.

  “So are you really ill, or just skiving again?”

  “I’m not skiving. James told me to go home. I just didn’t argue with him.” Kate grinned. “He asked if I still had a headache, and I said, ‘A bit.’ It was nearly true. I was being no use at work anyway. I just couldn’t concentrate.”

  Jenny handed her a glass of wine and a cake, and sat down again.

  “So what happened yesterday? I assume you didn’t get to stay the night. No night of passion, then. Did you manage an afternoon of it?”

  “No passion at all.” Kate bit into her cake. “He was too busy. He was actually annoyed at me for turning up. He didn’t show it, but I could tell.” She took a swig of wine. “Can’t really blame him, actually. I mean, I just turned up at the court without warning. He had to be in court all day, have lunch with a client, and then have dinner with some more.” She fell silent and stared into her wine.

  “Kate? Did something happen, or are you just pissed at missing the afternoon of passion? You look a bit weird.”

  Kate took another sip of wine and leaned back against the cushions. “Something sort of happened,” she said slowly. “I’m not sure if I’m being paranoid or not.”

  Jenny looked at her expectantly. “Go on. Is this to do with Richard?”

  “Yeah.” Kate put down her wine glass. “You know I said he had to go to dinner with some clients? Well as I was heading back to the tube, I passed him going into an Italian with a group of people.”

  “So?”

  “One of them was a woman.”

  “And?”

  “He had his arm around her waist as they were going through the door.”

  Jenny was silent for a moment. “Like what?”

  “How d’you mean?”

  “Well, was he actually holding her, or was he just guiding her through the door? Were there other people about?”

  Kate nodded. “Yeah. They were in a group. I don’t really know. That’s what I wondered. He could have just been guiding her in. I just don’t know.”

  “What did you do?” Jenny took a sip of her wine.

  “I texted him.”

  “You texted him? Why?”

  “Well, I nearly followed them into the restaurant, but then I stopped and thought about it. I mean, what was I actually going to do that wouldn’t make me look stupid? If it was all innocent, I’d look like a complete idiot and Richard would be furious—and patronising—and if he was having an affair, well, I didn’t really want to discuss it in public and feel humiliated. So I texted him.”

  “Fair enough. What did you say?”

  “I just told him I was on my way home and asked what he was up to.”

  “Nice. And?” Jenny curled her legs up under her and got comfortable.

  “He said he was having dinner with his clients and to travel safely. And he loved me.”

  “Okay. Well I guess that’s good. He didn’t lie.”

  “I know. But it still felt weird. And the woman looked slightly familiar. I only saw her from behind, but there was something.”

  “Have you met any of his clients before? Maybe it was one of them.”

  “I guess. Although I haven’t really met many.” Kate fell silent and bit on her lip. When she looked over at Jenny her eyes were troubled. “There’s another thing. Bit weird, actually.”

  Jenny raised her eyebrows. “Come on, then, spill.”

  “When I spoke to Richard in the court, before he went off for lunch, he introduced me to some man—another barrister—and then left me with him for a minute while he spoke to someone. The man thought he’d met me before. At some parties in London. One of them in Mayfair.”

  “And you didn’t know him?” Jenny’s eyes had lit up.

  “No, of course not. When did I ever go to a party in Mayfair? Richard never takes me to those things. So, what I want to know is, has he been taking other women to parties, or was the old man just mistaken?”

  Jenny grinned. “Can you honestly imagine Richard taking someone else to a party? I can’t even imagine him at a party! Lots of girls look like you. He was probably mistaken.”

  Kate scowled at her. “Are you saying I look boring?”

  “No, not boring, but you’re average height, slim, with long brown hair and blue eyes. Nothing too unusual. That could describe half our friends.”

  Kate sighed. “I guess so. So d’you think I should worry? D’you think he’s having an affair?”

  Jenny shook her head. “Not for a minute,” she said firmly. “If either of you two had an affair, it would be you, not him. He’s way too boring.”

  “Jen! What a thing to say. You make a fuss when I say he’s boring. He’s very attractive. Other women probably like him.”

  “So you’re bothered about him being boring, but not by the fact that I said you’d be more likely to have an affair?” Jenny smirked at her.

  “Of course I won’t have an affair.” Kate felt her face redden. “If I’ve managed not to so far, I’m not going to now.”

  “Has it been that much of an effort, then?” Jenny helped herself to another cupcake.

  “No. No, of course not.” Kate finished her wine and put the glass on the floor. “I don’t mean that. I’m too boring too. Although…” She glanced at Jenny cheekily. “I have been misbehaving recently.”

  Jenny gave a short laugh and sprayed cake crumbs everywhere. “Misbehaving? What do you mean? Oh, Sam, I suppose.”

  “Well I realised I never do anything wrong. I’ve always been good and done what I was supposed to. Until recently. I went out with Sam—twice—when I really shouldn’t have done. I lied to him—well, I concealed the truth anyway, and then I skived off from work for the first time ever, to go to London. Maybe I’m not as boring as I was, and that’s why I think Richard is boring.”

  “Are you going to tell Richard about Sam?” Jenny was refilling their glasses.

  “No. There’s nothing to tell. I went for a drink with an old friend.”

  “Hmmm. If you say so. What d’you think Richard would say? Do you really want to start married life with a secret?”

  “Jen, stop being all chief bridesmaidy! I’ve actually thought this through.” Kate glared at her. “If I tell him and he forgives me, I shall feel guilty, and he’ll be all patronising and condescending and making out he’s better than me. Or he’ll break up with me. So I reckon I shouldn’t tell him.”

  Jenny looked puzzled. “I don’t see there’s anything to forgive, really, and certainly nothing to break up over. All you did was go out for dinner with an old friend. Twice. It’s not like anything happened…” Her hand shot up to cover her mouth. “Kate! What happened? What are you not telling me?”

  “Nothing happened.”

  “Kate, I always know when you’re lying. Tell me, now!”

  Kate looked down at her hands and felt her face flame. “Ummm, well, Sam…Sam…might have kissed me. Just a little bit.”

  “Kathryn Granger, I’m shocked!” Jenny stared at her in amazement. “How could you not tell me that? That’s huge! How, where, what happened? What was it like?”

  Kate giggled, despite her discomfort. “It wasn’t like a snog or anything.” She sighed. “When he walked me home the first time, he gave me a very quick kiss on the lips before he left. No lingering.”

  “Okay.” Jenny nodded. “Fair enough. He didn’t know you were engaged, and no lingering, that’s kinda acceptable for friends. But?”

  “The second time he walked me back, on the Saturday, when he did know I was engaged, he did it again and lingered. Not for long, but it was enough.”

  “Oh, Kate. Why didn’t you tell me? How did you feel? Is that why you’ve been so weird?”

&
nbsp; “I’m not weird.” Kate sniffed in annoyance. “But I have been feeling strange about it. Jen, it was really nice. Am I a bad person? I want him to do it again.”

  “Well, he mustn’t.” Jenny stared sternly at her. “In ten days’ time you’re marrying Richard. You can’t just go gaily around kissing other men. Especially Sam Somerville.”

  “I know.” Kate’s shoulders slumped. “God, it was nice, though. But you see why I can’t tell Richard? He might forgive me, which to be honest would be boring and a bit weedy, or he might break up with me.”

  “Would you mind if he did?” Jenny watched her intently.

  “Break up with me? Yes. No. I don’t know!” Kate wailed, burying her face in a cushion. “That’s why I went to London. I wanted to have sex with Richard to remind me how good that was. I thought that would make me forget the kisses. But it never happened. Nothing happened. He didn’t even kiss me. And then I saw him with that woman.”

  “But that bothered you, didn’t it?” Jenny sipped her wine thoughtfully. “So you must still care.”

  “Yes.” Kate nodded slowly. “Yes, it did bother me. So I guess I must. I think I need to talk to him at the weekend. And have sex, of course.”

  “Enough with the sex.” Jenny waved her hand at her. “Keep that between you. But yes, you do need to talk. Are you still going to marry him?”

  “I thought you said I had to.” Kate stared at her. “I don’t have a choice, do I? It’s all organised and paid for. If I don’t marry him, it will be because of Sam, and to be honest, he doesn’t want me. If he did, he would have asked me not to marry Richard.”

  Jenny looked at her doubtfully. “Okay, but you must be sure. I know I said you had to marry him, but I didn’t know you’d kissed Sam.”

  “That doesn’t really count.” Kate’s lips began to tingle as she remembered the kisses. “He kissed me. I didn’t have a choice. I wasn’t being unfaithful.” She looked over at Jenny. “I guess I’d better tell you. I had a drink with him again.”

  Jenny stared at her. “What, Sam? A third date? Kate! When? I thought we agreed you had to keep away from him.”

  “I know. We did. And I really meant to.” Kate leaned back and closed her eyes. “It wasn’t really my fault. I stopped in the village to buy chocolate, and he appeared. He asked me if we could go on a picnic again, and then I went and had a drink with him. Then I kind of panicked and came home.”