The Cinema at Starlight Creek

by Alli Sinclair

  Lena shifted on the seat, the wooden slats suddenly uncomfortable. She stared at the fountain, concentrating on one particular stream of water that had diverted from the steady flow.

  ‘Lena?’

  ‘That’s boring,’ she said quickly.

  ‘It’s far from boring. I want to get to know you.’

  ‘Why? People only ever pay attention to my looks or what my status at the studio could do for their careers,’ she said, genuinely perplexed.

  ‘In case you haven’t noticed, Miss Lee, I have a great interest in you—in you as a person, not your career.’

  His eyes met hers and a desire to open up and tell him everything overcame her. She wanted him to know about what she’d endured when she was with Charlie Parker and how it skewed her view on relationships. She wanted to tell him about the heartbreaking way she and Dotty had ended their friendship and the reason she couldn’t return to her hometown … but the wall she’d spent years crafting shot up once more. Reeves Garrity had to stay on the other side, it was the only way she could protect herself, protect her sanity.

  Lena looked at her watch and stood. ‘I have to go.’

  CHAPTER 20

  1952 – Hollywood

  Reeves casually draped his arm over the back of the park bench. ‘You weren’t in a hurry a few minutes ago.’

  ‘A lady can’t change her mind?’ Lena kept her tone light, even though a sudden weight had landed on her shoulders.

  ‘I guess.’ He tilted his head to the side. ‘Please don’t leave just yet.’

  Stay? Go? Both actions had implications. ‘I’ll stay for a little longer if you tell me about you.’

  ‘Ha! You are an excellent negotiator.’ His warm laugh caressed her. ‘My upbringing was very straightforward. Born and raised in Santa Monica. Parents of Italian heritage—’

  ‘Hence the tall, dark and handsome,’ she said then felt embarrassed.

  Reeves winked, and her skin prickled with heat—again. ‘Thank you for saying so. I’m not so naïve that I don’t know the main reason I’m Jeanne’s leading man is because of my looks. In this industry we have to take what we can get. Though I like to think that I have proven myself as a quality actor by now.’

  ‘I believe you have. Your last role was amazing.’

  ‘You’ve been following my career?’ He sounded surprised.

  ‘Of course I have! I like being able to say “I knew him when he first started out”.’

  Reeves laughed. ‘And I can say the same about you, too.’

  ‘You haven’t finished telling me about you.’ She really needed to get the limelight away from herself.

  ‘I have a younger sister who has a brilliant brain but, unfortunately, is limited in what she can do for work.’

  ‘Women should be able to do anything they want.’ The conviction in her tone challenged him to say otherwise.

  ‘I agree,’ he nodded, ‘and I tell her this all the time, but the world lacks role models for young women.’

  ‘What about Amelia Earhart? Hedy Lamarr? Madame Curie? Even Cleopatra!’

  ‘Of course! These women are inspirational. I’m sure there are plenty more women just like them but we don’t hear about them often enough.’

  ‘You surprise me,’ she said.

  ‘I do?’

  ‘Here’s a man who has the world at his feet and could do anything and you’re worrying about young women not having enough role models.’

  Reeves grinned. ‘What can I say?’

  ‘Well, I can say thank you for not sticking your head in the sand. This world, especially Hollywood, doesn’t give women enough credit for our intelligence.’

  ‘They are wrong.’

  ‘Yes, they are.’ She looked down and gave a half-smile.

  ‘What’s funny?’

  ‘Nothing’s funny, actually. I was just thinking that I rarely have these conversations. Pierre isn’t exactly known for talking about anything or anyone other than himself.’

  ‘The same can be said of Jeanne.’ Reeves shifted a fraction closer. ‘I really want to get to know you, Lena, but you seem to make it impossible for that to happen.’

  ‘No I don’t.’

  He wrapped his fingers around hers and she found herself buzzing from his touch. She should pull away, but his warm, smooth skin made it impossible to resist.

  He said quietly, ‘We’ve spent too long avoiding each other. Do you know how hard it’s been to see you on the other side of the room, looking so divinely elegant? Do you know how hard it was not to go over and kiss your beautiful lips? Hold you in my arms?’

  ‘Stop it. Please.’ She turned away.

  ‘A day hasn’t gone past that I haven’t thought of you.’

  Lena faced him and the moment their eyes met, her resolve melted like an ice-cream on a hot summer’s day. ‘I’ve thought about you every day as well. And … I need you to be honest with me.’

  ‘I promise.’

  ‘What is the real situation with you and Jeanne? Is it like me and Pierre?’

  ‘It wasn’t like this to begin with.’

  ‘Pardon?’

  Reeves ran the palms of his hands down his thighs and rested his hands on his knees. ‘Initially I fell for Jeanne. How could I not? She’s beautiful, powerful. She commands attention when she walks into the room and her charisma on-screen …’ He held up his hand and cleared his throat. ‘I’m digressing. The thing is, I was so very green when I got here and when someone as influential as Jeanne picks you out of hundreds of budding actors, it’s hard not to be in awe.’ He lowered his head and a small laugh escaped his lips. ‘That blows my manliness out of the water.’

  ‘Just because you get sucked into someone’s web doesn’t make you less manly. Jeanne’s charisma is strong enough to hypnotise plenty of people.’

  ‘I feel like a fool.’ He looked up, his eyes locking on hers. ‘She made me believe I was special, that I was one in a million. It felt like that for the first little while but …’ he shrugged, ‘I can see it was all a ruse to get me to do her dirty work. I was nothing but a whipping boy and as soon as I realised it and started questioning her motives, I received flak—and lots of it.’

  ‘Was this around the time we … you know … kissed?’

  ‘Just before. I’d had enough of her demands and I wanted to break free.’

  ‘So, you kissed me to get back at her?’ The muscles in Lena’s shoulders tensed.

  ‘No!’ His defensive tone rang through the air. ‘Far from it! I really like you. I want to spend more time with you, get to know you better.’

  Lena stared at the fountain, unsure how to react. If she’d first met Reeves under different circumstances …

  He said, ‘For the sake of mine and Jeanne’s careers I’m “with” her but I’ve told her countless times we are not an actual item behind closed doors. However, she refuses to believe that’s the case.’

  ‘Jeanne has a habit of believing what she wants,’ said Lena. ‘This is such a crazy industry.’

  ‘Absolutely.’

  ‘And here I am pretending to date my leading man because that gives me more space in magazines and sells more tickets at the box office. Sometimes it really gets to me, this lie. I’m sure it makes me just as bad as a snake-oil salesman.’

  ‘People believe what they want. Some probably do see through it but they prefer to believe lies.’

  ‘Why are they so interested in what happens to actors and actresses outside the movies? Why is it so important for stars to have so-called perfect lives? Why can’t we show we’re human?’

  ‘I have no idea.’ Reeves shrugged.

  ‘Maybe it’s because in movies we take them out of their own world, but it only lasts a couple of hours. Perhaps thinking stars having passionate love affairs off-screen builds their own hopes for a happy-ever-after.’

  ‘I’ve never thought of it that way but now you mention it …’ He shook his head. ‘What kind of world are we living in when people willingly b
uy into fairy tales that are totally unrealistic? What’s wrong with the ups and downs of real life?’

  ‘Sometimes real life is too painful to endure. Movies and books and music can transport people, change their emotions, soothe their hurts, trigger memories of happier times or give them hope that their luck will change. That’s not a bad thing.’

  ‘So, we’re the happiness makers?’ he asked.

  ‘You could say that. Our job is to connect with people and their emotions, to entertain, to inspire. The trade-off is that we have to sacrifice some of our own happiness and freedom in order to do it.’

  ‘Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it.’

  ‘Look at your car,’ she said.

  ‘Pardon?’

  ‘You have a gorgeous sports car that you would never have been able to afford two years ago.’

  ‘True.’

  ‘And you get to enjoy it whenever you want. I imagine you have a very nice house as well.’

  ‘I do. Though possessions aren’t everything, Lena.’

  ‘No, they’re not, but we have security. We can eat at expensive restaurants. We can pay our bills. We get to go to work every day and do something that makes us happy. How many people get to do that? This job is a privilege.’

  ‘It can be a ball and chain around our ankles.’

  ‘Leave, then,’ she said.

  ‘What?’

  ‘Leave the industry if it’s too much. Believe me, there have been days when I have wanted to walk out of those studio gates never to return. I’d happily give it all up if I had something better, but I don’t.’ Lena bit her lip, chastising herself for being so free with her words.

  ‘What would you do if you didn’t act?’

  ‘I have no idea.’ Her days of swimsuit modelling were firmly over and she couldn’t ever imagine returning to rural life. ‘The thing is, this job is all I have in my life now. If I have to fake a relationship with Pierre Montreaux to allow me the success I’ve worked so very hard for, then that’s the price I pay.’

  ‘What about the chance at real love?’

  ‘I’ve tried. It didn’t work.’ Diving into that hole would only cause long-buried heartache to surface again.

  ‘So, in a perfect world where you and I were far away from the prying eyes of Hollywood, you’re saying we wouldn’t have a chance?’ The hope in Reeves’s voice caused Lena to pause and really think through her answer. ‘Lena?’

  ‘I …’ Perhaps she should explain what happened with Charlie, that way Reeves might better understand why it was so hard for her to ever consider loving someone again. She paused long enough to gather her strength. ‘I was in love—once—and I was hurt badly. I was betrayed, blamed for things that weren’t my fault and generally made to feel like I wasn’t fit to be alive.’

  Reeves took a moment before he said, ‘I’m so sorry anyone made you feel like that.’

  An inkling of relief sparked within her. Maybe it was good to talk about it, but only a little. Most of those worms needed to stay in that can. ‘I was vulnerable. Very green. It was my first adult relationship and I was blinded by love.’

  ‘We’ve all been there.’

  Lena looked at her perfectly manicured nails, wondering why so much time was spent on something so … vain. ‘The thing is, that relationship scared me and I’ve not been able to have a meaningful one since.’

  ‘Fake-dating Montreaux is the perfect solution. It means you’re off limits and you don’t have to give your heart.’

  Lena rested her elbows on her knees and held her head in her hands.

  ‘Lena?’

  She sat up, hot tears filling her eyes. ‘I never realised I was doing this.’

  Reeves reached for her hand. His warm skin against hers caused a cascade of tears to slide down her face.

  ‘This,’ she removed her hand, ‘it’s too complicated.’

  ‘Then we un-complicate it.’

  ‘We can’t.’ She sat up straight. ‘It’s as obvious as a neon sign we have an attraction for each other, but our hands are tied. Don’t you see? Wondering about what life would be like if we were together is a waste of time.’

  ‘I’m nothing like that man you were with.’ His voice was heavy with hurt.

  ‘It’s not … it’s not just that. I’m talking about our careers. There’s no point in imagining us being together as you and I know it can’t happen. Thinking about these things will only disappoint because we can’t have the best of both worlds.’

  ‘We could.’

  Her voice was barely above a whisper. ‘What we want and what we can have are often polar opposites.’ She looked at her watch. ‘I really do have to go now.’

  Reeves stood and held out his hand. She took it and they walked in silence through the green archway to his car. He opened the door and she got in then he walked to the other side and got behind the wheel. The engine revved to life and a small part of Lena wished they could stay in the anonymity of the gardens. But she had to get back and rest—the bags under her eyes were not getting any smaller.

  Reeves drove back slowly and parked his car next to hers. ‘Here we are.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Lena exited before Reeves could assist. He stood in front of her, hands awkwardly at his sides.

  ‘Thanks for the company,’ she finally said.

  ‘Lena.’ Reeves moved from foot to foot. ‘I really liked our time together and I was wondering … hoping … we could do this again?’

  ‘As much as I would love to, we can’t.’

  Reeves squeezed her hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek that lingered.

  She inhaled his musky cologne, revelling in the stubble brushing her skin. Closing her eyes, she willed herself to remain in control and not pull Reeves against her body to kiss him endlessly and forget the rest of the world.

  He moved away, their eyes locked.

  ‘Maybe one day.’ His voice was low.

  ‘Maybe,’ she said, knowing it could never happen. Aside from the ghosts from her past with Charlie, the studios had way too much influence on their lives and any chance of Reeves and her forming a lasting friendship would be fraught with gossip and innuendo. It certainly wouldn’t be without foundation.

  Reeves waved and got in his car. He took off down the road and Lena watched until the vehicle zipped around the corner, a wave of loneliness and longing washing over her.

  * * *

  Lena stood on the steps of George’s apartment pressing the buzzer—again. She’d tried off and on for a few minutes but didn’t have any luck. Giving up, she wrote a note and popped it in his letterbox, hoping his no-show was just the result of a hangover. Turning, she went down the steps and got into the car. There was no point in going home to rattle around the mansion, it would just depress her. So where to now?

  The engine purred into action and she took off down the street, intent on enjoying the sunny afternoon. In an effort to take her mind off the conversation she’d had with Reeves earlier, Lena navigated streets she’d never been down before, paying attention to the shops and houses, parks and schools. It occurred to her that in all her years in this large city, she’d never taken the time to be a sightseer. Then again, she’d never possessed a lot of time, even when she was starting out at the studio. The long hours were exhausting and she’d certainly not had the means to buy a car or jump on a bus just for fun.

  Lena turned left and found herself on a familiar street.

  Had her mind subconsciously directed her here? Was it that much of a habit?

  She drove towards Fortitude Studios, intent on driving past, but she found herself pulling over, getting out of the car and looking through the bushes in front of the iron bars. Although a Sunday, the studio still buzzed with set builders and other tradespeople trying to get everything ready for the next scenes to be shot.

  In the distance, she could see Stuart Cooper talking animatedly with another man out the front of the main office. From where she stood she couldn’t recognise who it was, bu
t she didn’t need to know. It was none of her business. Besides, it was her day off.

  Oh.

  Reeves was right. She lived and breathed this work so much that even on her first break in what felt like forever, she was standing at the gates of the studios looking in. What was wrong with her?

  Appalled, she turned to head for the car but stopped when she recognised a face she hadn’t seen for some time. ‘Nerida Curlewis!’

  A woman in her mid-fifties with immaculate hair and make-up and a two-pack-a-day voice beamed at her. ‘It has been some time, Miss Lee. Dare I ask why you were lurking in the bushes? Who are you spying on?’

  ‘No one!’ She smoothed down her pantsuit.

  ‘Nice outfit. A little different to the first time we met.’ Nerida rested a hand on her generous hips.

  ‘Very funny. Back then I thought I was fashionable—’

  ‘Since when is a brown suit that’s too big fashionable? Most casting directors would have thrown you out the door before you had a chance to audition. Lucky for you I stuck my nose in and convinced the studio to take you. I could see your potential, even back then.’

  ‘You know I’ve always appreciated you speaking up for me.’

  ‘And I’ve never regretted it. So, do you intend on hanging in the bushes all day or would you like to come in for a cup of coffee? It’s been a long time since we’ve just chatted.’

  Lena glanced at her car. She desperately wanted to get in and speed off, though at the same time she wanted to take advantage of the opportunity to sit and talk with one of Hollywood’s most powerful voices in publicity. Not only had Nerida reached the top of her game, she’d done it in style and with integrity, ignoring the naysayers who fought to keep her down. Lena could learn a lot from this inspirational woman.

  ‘What about a diner? There’s one down the road,’ Lena said.

  ‘Sorry, I’ve got a heap of work to get through, so it would be easier if we take coffee in my office.’

  ‘Sure.’

  Lena left her car out the front and hitched a ride into the studios with Nerida. They parked right near the door of the main building, entered, and took the lift to Nerida’s office. The bookshelves and her desk overflowed with newspapers and magazines and she had to clear a pile from a chair so Lena could sit.