The Toll

by Jeanette Lynn

  “He kissed ye.”

  Snorting, I lifted my toes, watching fat water droplets fall as they swung in the open breeze. “We were just trying to bring you back.”

  Another wave of jealousy, white hot, pierced my bonded. “Yer idea, then?” Gnashing his teeth, he looked like he wanted to put his fist through something, or someone.

  “No,” I was careful in my reply, responding slowly, “but I was baiting you, and I asked him to go along with it.” Shrugging helplessly, I let out a long breath. “That must have been his idea of, erm, helping.”

  “Helpin’.” Jaw flexing, he gritted the words out, rolling his neck on his shoulders as his eyes narrowed, flashing black.

  Humming a little in my throat, mimicking the soft lullaby he’s used so many times before, without much of the same effect, a small smile tilted his lips, just at the corners, but it was enough for now.

  “Pfft. Worked,” he muttered. There was no rush of emotions flooding towards me this time, just mild, though irritated, acceptance. “Still say he’s a bastard, though, even if it did the bleedin’ trick.”

  Ignoring his surly mood, I nodded. “You’re welcome.”

  Head whipping to the side to glare down at me, I smiled softly in the face of his ire. “I didn’t enjoy it. Does that help?”

  Bristling visibly, he grumbled, “Maybe,” head tilted away to stare into the water.

  “He does love you, though, you know.”

  Troll chuckled, despite his warring emotions, nudging my shoulder “Still want to rip his arms off.”

  “Mmm,” I murmured, resting my head on his arm, “me too.”

  It felt good, his warmth, the solid strength in those muscles, even tensed, imbuing a sense of comfort and safety. Snuggling closer, I melted against him as he barked out a laugh, closing my eyes.

  Reaching over, his fingers cupped mine, lacing them together. No hesitation, no grumbling acceptance, we just were. It felt right.

  We sat there like that, for I don’t know how long, in companionable silence. The rush of the rapidly tumbling water and the low howl of a coyote, along with its mate’s answering call echoing in the distance, just added to the ambiance.

  “I’m worried about her. Been thinkin’ a lot,” glancing over at me, he smiled ruefully, “ye do that to me, ye know? Make this ol’ Ornthren think.” Tapping his temple, he sighed, “See where me mum might ‘o’ been comin’ from, I guess, though I dinna think the way she gone ‘bout it was right, ye see?” The words, uttered low, were rife with emotion. “No’ particularly happy wit’ any of the other shit that went on, directly or indirectly, ‘cause ‘o’ her arse’s meddlin’, either.” His eyes flashed at the reminder. “Not referrin’ tat that, though, ye get what I be sayin’, hm?”

  “Mmm. I do.” And I did. While I could see Niniane wanting Troll to find happiness, and can clearly understand that, wanting the same for Calder, I couldn’t agree with her almost sacrificing Vidi’s powers, her strength, an Other’s only major defense in this crazy, mixed up magical world I found myself smack dab in the middle of, to bring us there. And then there was everything else, the ‘shit that went on’, like he’d said.

  “Love the boy. Want his arse happy. Canna say I’d throw another under the bridge ta get there, but canna say the urge someday willna be strong. Ye ken?”

  Nudging him as he smiled, lips tipping up as his voice turned slightly playful, I grinned. He loves him.

  “Dinna wish fer things ta go like they did wit’ her, in the end of it, havin’ thought on it, ye know?”

  I wasn’t expecting that, glancing over at him, gauging his reaction as his throat worked, bobbing thickly against his rough, grey skin. Nostrils flaring as a sense of loss, anger, and relief, all rolled into one, seared his gut, leeching through our link, his fingers tightened perceptably, thumb stroking over mine slowly in a soft caress.

  And Ketik says Ornthren are incapable of softness? Of feeling? Hah. Watching my big, gruff bonded struggle with his emotions, I begged to differ.

  “Sounds strange,” he continued, “I know, considerin’... but I do.” Unable to meet my gaze, he kept straight ahead, watching the fireflies lighting up along the tall reeds and weeds popping up along the bank, flitting about. “The wench bore me, ye know? Dinna haveta... it just... ah. Tis fucked.”

  “She’s your mother, no matter what. Doesn’t sound strange to me at all.”

  Silence settled between us, but his fingers, softly stroking mine, didn’t let up. The action seemed to comfort him.

  “Think she be alright?”

  Mulling that over for a moment, I nodded. “I’m sure, where ever she is, she’ll be just fine.” And I really hoped I wasn’t full of complete and utter bull.

  We hadn’t seen hide nor hair of any of the Elementals, and one could only guess what had happened. Were they disbanded? Replaced? Where are they now? What became of them? I felt it in my gut, though, we weren’t to know.

  “Have me thanks, me little nugget,” Troll rumbled after a moment, slowly getting to his feet, offering me a hand up.

  “For what?” Taking his proffered hand, I accepted his assistance.

  Hoisting me up, my chest brushed against his warm, heated flesh, a zing rushing through us on contact.

  Leaning in, his large hand brushed my lower back, holding me to him gently. Long fingers splaying across my back, his fingers spread, spanning the length as my hands dusted up his arms, admiring how nicely he was filling out as he slowly worked his way back to his old self.

  “Tryin’ ta make me feel better.” Head dipping towards mine, I lifted my chin, lips reaching towards his searchingly.

  “Is it working?” I whispered, licking my lips as his breath whispered across my face. Pausing, a mere hair’s breadth away, I was dying of impatience. I’ve been waiting for this—a private moment—just us two, for what felt like forever. Our cuddly little roommate, Sir Calder of the infant Ornthren, was a very light sleeper, as well as a bed hog. It felt like eternity since we’d had a little stolen moment like this.

  “Maybe.” Troll still held back, brows furrowing as his face puckered, but his fingers, warm and inviting, roamed all over my back freely, exploring and kneading, mapping along every curve and dip, as if to commit it to memory.

  “What’s holding you back?” The little huff I let out made my meaning crystal clear. Do it, you fool! Kiss me! Make it all better. Before someone comes along and interrupts.

  Clearing his throat hard, he muttered gruffly, all of the sudden uncertain, nervous anxiety hounding him, “Dunno.”

  Me either, I wanted to grouse, but I wasn’t keen on putting him off. I want him to kiss me, after all, not dump me in the river.

  Gripping his shoulders, I massaged the taut flesh, forcing it to give under my touch. With every glide of my hands, he relaxed fractionally, until his eyes were closed in bliss.

  Plastered to him, my nipples hardened to tight little buds, digging into his torso, the happy purr that rumbled up from my throat sending his eyes popping open wide.

  “Like that, lover?” There I was purring again, voice a low, husky murmur, wicked grin tipping my lips.

  A low, rumbling growl vibrated up his chest when my fingers tightened, the noise tingling against my breasts as it reverberated through me, pressed intimately as we were. Heart thrumming in excitement, breath coming out in hushed, soft little pants, I watched as his eyes slowly dilated, everything in me shivering in anticipation as he inhaled deeply, ramping up my own instantaneous reaction.

  Instantly growing wet, the nub between my legs already throbbing, aching to be touched, I was full of want, and only he could fix it. Mine.

  Tired of waiting, I gripped the back of his head, scrambling on tip toe, hastily closing the distance. Lips mashing, my tongue slipped past when his mouth slowly parted, ready to let out a hungry growl at my audacity. Pressing my advance, I ground my sex into his thick thigh, releasing him long enough to grip fistfuls of my long skirt, exposing myself to the co
ol night air, making my intentions perfectly clear.

  Pressing closer, Troll hissed as I rocked against his thigh, backing me into the wall, squashing me against the rough, red cave wall until there was barely any room left to breathe.

  Nails raking down his back and over his ass, I blurted, “I’ve missed you,” a little happy hum fluttering in my throat. Diving back in, nipping his lip, I was rewarded with a harsh groan and two large hands gripping my ass, squeezing tight.

  “Dinna play fair, woman.”

  Working my hands up and around to his chest, I stayed silent, for the moment, my short little nails scraping across his nipples, dancing across his pecs.

  Heartbeat quickening, thumping, fast and heavy against my palm, I had him hooked. You’re mine now, Ornthren. All mine.

  “Not playing fair, did you say?” Wrapping my arms around his neck, waiting for him to pick me up, I buried my face along his runes, worrying the flesh at his nape with my teeth. “How is that?”

  Grunting as his cock jerked, straining against the small bit of cloth, pressing, hot and hard, into my stomach.

  “Just spilled me guts an’ ye’re still holdin’ out.”

  Coherent enough to carry on a full-fledged conversation with me, unlike myself, the stubborn male was still running at full capacity. Squelching that bit of disappointment fast, it was a bit disheartening.

  He’s supposed to be dazed and crazy with want, ready to get this all... going. What was stopping him? Where’s the wild, reckless passion of before?

  Granted, I didn’t want him so crazed he forgot himself all together—no repeats of his troll/bond madness—but really, my fragile ego would have appreciated a little bit of abandon. Just a smidgeon. Where’s my voracious Troll?

  “Holding out?” I sputtered. I’m practically handing myself over to him on a silver platter! And, to squash the already faltering mood, he wants to talk? Really?

  Take me already, you big oaf! What more prompting does he need?

  Surprising me further, he pulled back and stood tall, staring down at me with an unreadable expression on his harsh, unforgiving face, his wide hands sliding to my hips.

  Disappointed, my arms fell away, lingering on his waist, and my legs released him, heels flattening to the floor.

  Letting out a long breath, brushing off what my ridiculously overactive conscience deemed me being selfish, I peered up at my bonded, trying to pull my filthy, sexually explicit mind out of the gutter.

  Though the heated flames of sexual desire roared in his deep orange eyes, burning brighter than any flame I’d ever seen lit, there was an unease that took me by surprise. Is he... No...

  Could he be? Could my sturdy, foul-mouthed troll be nervous?

  Knowing better than to poke the troll and find out, I let the whole thing go. Take a hint, Nugget, you’re mate-husband isn’t as ready to rekindle your physical relationship as you are.

  Glancing down at myself as I ducked my head, I stepped back and lowered my skirt, humiliation bringing a slight, pink flush to my cheeks Does my body not please him anymore? Biting my lips, uncertainty flooded me. Have I changed so much he no longer finds me desirable?

  I heard him before I saw him as he dropped to his knees, scowling heavily, tipping my chin to meet his.

  “What’s tha’ now?”

  “What’s what?” Forcing a smile I didn’t really feel, blinking up at him innocently enough to convince him I had absolutely no clue, I feigned wiping a bit of imaginary dirt off the top of my blouse.

  “Oi! Yer little man just gnawed the handle off a wooden spoon!” Quaz called, poking his head through the entrance to Under.

  “What? He bit it off?” I was trying to wrap my head around raising a troll baby ever since Calder ate a boot, a leather water skin, and started breaking pieces off the rock wall to teeth on, but was quickly finding my little panic attacks were all for naught. His father and uncles, or so I’m told, had all eaten, gnawed on, or clawed, at his age, much more and much worse. Still baffling, I found it oddly comforting. This is normal. Now I just have to keep saying that, over and over, until it sinks in.

  My bonded’s eyes narrowed, left eye twitching at Quaz’s interruption.

  Quaz, unaffected, whistled low at the look on my face, eyes drifting back and forth between us interestedly. “Whatcha doin’ in here?”

  “Nothing,” I said quickly, blushing redder than a beet.

  “Talkin’,” Troll barked distractedly, gaining his feet.

  Running his tongue along the inside of his cheeks, Quaz couldn’t hide that smirk. “Nothin’, ye say? Talkin’, eh?” Grunting, he scratched at his chin. “Would Ketik be wantin’ ye ‘talkin’ an’ doin’ ‘nothin’ in his cave, ye think?”

  “This is Ketik’s cave?” The squeak my voice came out at was completely uncharacteristic. Eyes darting around, I was glad he’d stopped me, shuddering at the thought.

  Ketik was a spiteful sort, and while I wasn’t afraid to challenge him openly when the situation warranted, I wasn’t about to start an all-out war with the easily hostile male. Territorial and beyond possessive, you don’t mess with an Ornthren’s claim. This cave, as it turns out, was Ketik’s bit of space.

  The sudden and undeniable need to flee flooded me. I had no urge to linger.

  Taking a step towards the entryway and Quaz, Troll’s hand snatched out and yanked the back of my shirt, sending me careening into him, smacking soundly against his wide chest.

  “Oomph! Troll! What are you-”

  “Hush,” he grumbled, sliding a hand over my belly to keep me there, thinking he could just shut me up with a bark and a tug.

  “Oh! Why I-”

  Nipping my ear hard enough to make me jump, he muttered low, “Dinna make me say it twice, love.” Straightening back up, he kept his hand firmly planted against my belly, while I fumed silently, wishing for a rusty spoon or a heavy club right about now.

  Ignoring the anger emanating from me, steaming from my pores, he glanced at Quaz. “So, ye be watchin’ him, get him another one. Why ye need ta come snitchin’? Probably likes the taste of it, an’ the feel against his gums. What, was it yer favorite one, eh? Canna sleep wit’ out it?”

  “Yer woman dinna like it when we handle things. Thinks we be too rough.”

  Arms folding over my chest obstinately, I frowned up at the pair. “That’s because you are, all of you.”

  Troll, ignoring me, tossed his head to his brother. “Just give the wee beastie the spoon, he’ll keep.”

  “What?” I sputtered. “But he’ll just eat that one too!” Ready to march right past them both in search of our child, and an alternate object for him to teethe on, Troll’s hand shooting out to grip my arm kept me firmly in place.

  “Not so fast, Nugget. Aint done wit’ ye yet.”

  “Oh,” I muttered, eyes flashing, “I think we are.”

  Plucking me up off of my feet, arms banding around me as he nuzzled my neck, he nipped my ear and growled, ignoring my ire, fingers tightening. “Tempt me, woman, tease me an’ leave me like this.” Troll pressed his erection firmly into my backside to make his point. “Run from me, bonded, I dare ye. See what happens.”

  There was that fire and grit I’d been trying to draw out of him, but the audience we’d gathered wasn’t conducive to showing how much I appreciated the bulge in my backside, or the sexy growl rattling his chest.

  “Gave the beast something harder ta tear inta, already broke another spoon.” Ketik shoved his head around the corner, Calder tucked into his side, chewing away on a thick piece of folded, tanned, green skinned hide. “Hey! Oi!” he shouted. “No tuppin’ in here, ye horny lot! This be me place ‘o’ solitude, ye dirty bastards! Dinna be muckin’ it up wit’ all yer lovey dovey jinxin’!”

  “Ketik!” I gasped, pointing a finger at him warningly. “Don’t talk like that in front of the baby!”

  Eyes narrowing, he hoisted Calder higher, muttering under his breath. “Aren’t ye one ta point fingers, Milady Peepot
s, tryin’ ta dirty up me place wit’ yer feminine wiles.”

  “Feminine wiles? But, I don’t... I didn’t...” I spluttered, a flush stealing over me.

  Nodding knowingly as his eyes drifted between us, guilt stamped all over my crimson mug, the look on his face facilitated between haughty and disgust.

  Caught red handed, and there wasn’t a thing I could do to deny it.

  “Fine,” he went on, rubbing salt into the wound, “yer highness. Dinna know what ye got yer knickers all up in a twist fer, anyhow.”

  “You’re cursing in front of my child,” I gritted out embarrassedly. “I don’t like it.”

  “Cursin’? Och, he’s bound ta know ye love the ugly arsehole ye spawned him wit’. Aint a hidden one.”

  Gaping at him as Quaz bellowed out a laugh and slapped his lame brained brother on the back, waving off Troll’s warning snarl, the red eyed Ornthren laughingly explained, “She meant cussin’, ye fool, no’ a curse. She dinna want ye sayin’ tup in front of the little lad.”

  Blinking down at Calder, Ketik frowned. “Oh.” Scratching at the back of his bald head, he shrugged. “Still, I dinna want ye fuckin’ in me space. This one’s mine. Find yer own.” Turning as Quaz sighed, covering his eyes with his hand, he winced as I squirmed out of Troll’s arms, bellowing after the purple-eyed menace.

  “What?” he shouted, yelping a few minutes later as Troll and Quaz dutifully lumbered after us. “Dinna say tuppin’, aye?”

  “Give me my baby.” Cornering him in the hall, he scowled but handed him over.

  “What?” He muttered to my retreating back, following me down the corridors to the left.

  Pausing once I reached my living quarters, I shook my head, setting Calder down on the floor with the small wooden toys the males had all carved for him. “How do you not... you really don’t understand, do you?” A small, hysterical bark of laughter escaped me.

  Taking up too much space in the doorway, he grumbled, “Get what?”

  Feeling like I might explode, marching right over to him and glaring up, I did just that, “Fuck is so much worse!”