Man Up Playboy

by Danielle Sibarium

  I bring the now smaller cube again to her back. I start at the base of her neck and slowly slide it down her spine. She quivers beneath me. I can’t hold on much longer. I continue to trail down the small of her back to the crack of her ass. I hold the cube there, letting it drip. I start to head down, between her cheeks with the ice.

  She clenches her ass and her entire body stiffens.

  “You okay?” I whisper.

  “Yes.” It’s not a word, but a breathless moan.

  Holding the dripping ice at her rear opening, I lean forward and kiss her neck.

  "Please!" She yells out. Happy to oblige, knowing she’s right where I want her, I pull back and press the ice cube inside her.

  “Cooper!” She yells out.

  I feel the pressure building inside me. I can't believe she hasn’t said no to anything, hasn’t told me to go fuck off. I hold her tight as a warm trickle drips out of her, and I imagine it’s my cum spilling out of her. I'm not sure I can get her there before I cum.

  "Yes.” She screams spurring me on. “Yes. YES!"

  We arrive together, and when I'm done I drop on the bed next to her. With her hands on either side of my face, she pulls me into a deep, greedy kiss. I think it's a thank you. I don't move until she's done, but once she pulls away I practically lunge for the phone. I know I'm being a shit, but I need to make sure he gets the message loud and clear.

  "What are you doing?" She asks. But before she reaches for the phone, I'm typing away.

  Sorry, Matt. Selene can't make it to your nephew’s game. She's spending the weekend with her boyfriend. BTW that would be me.

  "Just sending a message," I answer as I hit send and hand it over.

  "My boyfriend?" She asks. "Is that really what you want?"

  I don't bring up the fact that she already told me she doesn't believe in monogamy. That's a fact that can work in both of our favors and doesn't need to be said. At least not yet.

  "It's what I want. I get that you travel a lot and you don't have a lot of time to see me. But when you're home I want you with me. You think you can handle that?"

  Selene nods, gives me a smile. "Yes, Cooper. Besides I have the feeling if I say no you're going to stalk me. And I'd really hate to be the reason a pretty boy like you gets sent to jail. I don't think you'd make a good wife." Her smile lights up the room. I don't think I'll ever get tired of how my pulse races when I see it.

  "What makes you think I'd be the wife?"

  She laughs, as if I just told a joke. Eventually I join in her amusement. Coming home with Selene is a million times better than coming home with the twins. I kiss her head, drawing her scent in once again. I'm in shock that I've taken it this far. I haven't had a "girlfriend" since high school. Not since Luna did everything she could to turn my heart into ice and then smash it into tiny, sharp shards with an ice pick. At least this time, I understand the game, and I know better than to hand Selene my heart. I just wish my body didn't crave hers so damn much.

  Selene's hand reaches across my midsection as she curls up next to me and rests her head on my chest. I close my eyes, and hope sleep sweeps away all conscious thought before the fact that I have a girlfriend sinks in and suffocates me.

  Chapter 9

  "Cooper." I feel a finger nail graze over and around the skin on my shoulder. "Wake up, handsome."

  "Mmm." I moan with a smile. "Go back to sleep, Selene." I answer rolling over and reaching out for her.

  "Selene?" the voice shrieks. "Who the fuck is Selene?"

  That voice! How did she get here? My throat constricts as I shoot up with my heart pounding to a punishing beat. The angst in her tone cuts through my chest. How did I not recognize her straight away?

  "It was a mistake. That's all, just a mistake," I explain opening my eyes, searching for her face so I can apologize. I'm ready and willing to do whatever I have to, to make this right, but no one is there. I'm alone in bed. I flip the covers over, looking frantically for some sign of her, but there's nothing under them.

  I jump out of bed and spin around taking in everything in the room, searching for some sign of her. But there's nothing, not even a hint of the vanilla scent that lingers in the air wherever she goes. I look under the bed, and in the closet. Everything is as it should be. I'm all fucking alone in the room. How could I fuck up like this?

  Cries burst through the silence. Loud. Ugly sobs that make me want to cover my ears with my hands. But where the fuck is she? My muscles are trembling, like plucked guitar strings. And my emotions are reverberating through my body. My stomach sinks. I have to fix this before she . . . No. NO! I squeeze my eyes shut. I won't even think it. This is my chance to wake from my nightmare and make things right.

  "Luna. Luna!" I call out pulling myself together. She's crying harder. Louder. "Where are you?"

  She doesn't answer. The walls of the room are gone. I'm no longer in my bedroom. Instead I'm in a large room encased by a never ending expanse of doors. I don't know where they lead to. But Luna is on the other side of one of them. How many are there? Ten? One hundred?

  "You broke me, Cooper." The voice, her voice, blasts over speakers built into the walls behind me. "You broke my heart." The sound of her voice makes me want to drop to my knees and cry.

  "Come on, Luna. Stop fucking around and come out here so we could talk."

  "You lied. You said I'm the only girl you could ever love. And now you're with Selene."

  "And you fucking cheated on me. So get your ass out here and face me."

  "I can't, Cooper." She says something more, but I can't make her words out through the sobs. "I can't ever face you again. Not now that I know about her. I need to get rid of her."

  "Luna, let's talk." It doesn't matter that I'm still so angry with her I could kill her with my own hands. It only matters that if I don't make this right, convince her that I still love her, and try to work things out, she'll do something drastic. Permanent.

  The crying starts again. "No, Cooper. Just, no."

  That voice. It's not Luna. Maybe it never was. It's Selene. It's Selene and I need to get to her. I run to the closest door and jiggle the handle trying to get it to open, but it's locked. I run to the next one and try that. Again it's locked.

  "Talk to me Selene. Please."

  "Goodbye, Cooper." Luna again. A tiny part of me is relieved. Luna's already set a nuke off in my life, a fucking bomb that maimed and destroyed the best parts of me. There isn't much more she can do, but Selene . . . I can only imagine she can finish the job Luna started and send me over the deep end.

  "Open the door!" I scream frustrated and scared shitless this isn't going to end well. "Open the fucking door!"

  A scream pierces the air around me. It's shrill and I swear I think my ears are going to fucking bleed. I close my eyes and cover my ears until I feel the wetness on my feet. The room is silent. She stopped talking and crying. She isn't making a fucking sound. I look down to see why I'm suddenly standing in a puddle. A thick, deep red liquid has pooled around my feet. My stomach churns and I'm dry heaving. She did it. She fucking sliced her wrists open.

  I follow the trail of blood hoping I can get to her in time. My hand is on the door knob I'm preparing myself to find her limp body on the other side. If I act fast there might be a smidgeon of hope that I can get her help. Everything will change if I can save her. If only I can turn the knob. Why won't my fucking hand move?

  "Cooper." My name comes across in a whisper. An icy finger trails up my spine and slices through my skin, straight into my heart. Already I know it's not Luna lying on the ground. It's Selene.

  "Selene!" I shout. "Hold on. I’m coming, baby."

  My eyes open to the first light of morning. My body is shaking. Trembling. I'm covered in sweat. Holy shit that dream was real.

  Too real.

  Luna and Selene switching places in the same nightmare . . . A few more of those and the guys with the padded wagon and straight jacket will be dragging my ass out of here for sure.
How the fuck did Luna turn into Selene?

  "Are you okay?"

  Selene is staring at me, those beautiful blue eyes are troubled and leery.

  I don't say anything. I reach out and stroke her face to make sure she's real. To make sure I didn't already fuck up beyond repair.

  "Cooper." She sits up and leans toward me.

  Once I'm certain she's okay I clear my throat and find my voice. "I'm fine."

  She reaches for my hand, kisses the palm, and then presses her palm to my forehead.

  "You don't feel feverish."

  "Just a bad dream. I'm not the best sleeper."

  "Is it because I'm here?"

  I know it is, but I'm not such a shit that I would actually tell her that. "Nah, just an end of the world nightmare." At least that part is true, even if it would only be the end of my world. "Nothing to do with you."

  "Does it have anything to do with that tattoo?"

  "What you don't like it?" I ask pretending I'm not completely freaked out that she made the connection.

  "It's beautiful. It's just that it's so sad. I don't get why the moon is crying."

  I look away for a moment. I've lied about it before. I don't know why the idea of lying to Selene is pulling so strong on my heart.

  "The moon is crying because no matter what it does, the sun always rises. People turn away from the darkness and try to forget that it's there, regardless of the impact it has on our physical world. No matter how hard the moon may pull and stomp and make its presence known, for at least half a day, it's rendered useless."

  Selene smirks. I can tell that she doesn't believe me. It's okay because that has to be the lamest fucking excuse I've ever come up with. On a high note, my heart finally slowed to its normal pace. Now I'm ready to get it going again, but in excitement, not in fear.

  "Are you sure you're not really Kaycee Dugon?" She asks, her palm on the side of my face, her thumb stroking the shadow of stubble beneath it.

  I reach my arm around her back, curl my hand around her waist and pull her closer to me on the bed. She complies easily.

  "If I were to write, it wouldn't be the adventure/romance crap Kaycee writes."

  "No?"

  "Please. If I were going to write a book, it would be best-selling erotica."

  "You think you're that good," she teases, her eyes challenging me. "That you could hold the attention of women from all around the world for the length of a whole book, from start to finish?"

  "Think? No. I don't think it. I know it." With slow steady movements, my eyes never wavering, I pull her down on her back, climb on top of her, and pick up where we left off last night.

  Chapter 10

  "I owe you one," I say as Noah settles into the seat across from me.

  It's good to have connections. That's all I'm saying. Because getting center ice seats three rows back for one of the most popular hockey teams in the tri-state area is near impossible without handing over thousands of dollars to scalpers. But when you can call the right people, not only can you make it happen, but it can happen without breaking the budget.

  "How was the game?" Noah asks taking a swig of his beer as we wait for Troy to meet us at the restaurant in my building Thursday night.

  "It was great. Went into double over-time."

  "I know. I swear when you asked for those tickets I thought you wanted me to go with you."

  "There, there. Are you jealous?" I lean over and tweak his cheek.

  "Get off me you prick," he says swatting my hand away. "Since when does Cooper Sutton take a chick to a hockey game?"

  "Since I found a chick that gets hot watching it. And the best part, I told her they turn the heat up really high for the spectators, so she wore a thin flimsy shirt with no sleeves."

  I don't see how that matters."

  I snicker. "She was shivering, and I came prepared with a blanket. I slung it around us which worked to my advantage in two ways. First, she cuddled up close to me. Second, it gave me cover to slip my hand down her pants."

  "You're such a fucking pig."

  "Oink. Oink."

  I don't understand what drives me to be such a complete and total jerk. It isn't as if I don't realize how crass I am. I just can't help myself. I'm not sure if I just play the role the world wants me to play or if my brain just doesn't have a fucking filter.

  "You know when you were getting busy last night she was fantasizing about fucking them, not you, right?"

  "Actually if I had to put money on it, I'd say she was fantasizing about fucking Jackson Stone."

  "Holy shit, Coop. You told her?" His eyes are bulging from his head, and his mouth has hit the ground. I laugh at the shocked look on his face. It's priceless.

  "Long story."

  "You really do have it bad for her, don't you?"

  I want to be honest. At least as honest as I can be. Noah's my best friend, and he stood by my side through all kinds of shit. Especially though the Luna drama. He was my only friend through all that. My own fucking mother, along with our whole high school decided it was my fault. Noah never wavered though. He stood up for me. He doesn't know I overheard him in the boys locker room standing up to her ex and his drugged up posse, telling them if they didn't stop the rumors he'd see to it they were in the pen for a good, long time for pushing XTC. I owed Noah big for that one. He believed in me without ever knowing the truth. He never asked or demanded that I explain my role in what happened. And I was cool with that. He once told me he'd listen if I ever felt the need to talk, but I never took him up on it and he never pried.

  I shrug. "She's fucking hot, and great in bed. I swear when I fuck her, I feel like I'm starring in the greatest porno ever made."

  "I really hope that's not how you're sweet talking her."

  "Jealous?" I smirk.

  "Hey guys," Troy says pulling the chair next to Noah out and taking a seat. "What's up?"

  "What's up is that Coop's finally got a girlfriend. Of course if I didn't know better, I'd think she's a blow up doll he brought to life."

  "Watch it there, buddy."

  "Is it one of the chicks from the sex club?"

  "Fuck you both."

  "Ooh, he's getting testy,"

  I shouldn't hate the ribbing, I give it to them often enough. But they make me sound like a complete douche. If my own friends see me that way, there's no way Selene will ever see me as anything else.

  "You're late. Where the fuck were you?"

  "Marlene's doctor was running behind."

  "Your leash is that short that she has you taking her to her appointments?"

  "You're a jackass, Coop. I'm there because I want to be. That's my baby, too."

  "Yeah, well. You might as well cut off your junk and put it up on the shelf next to your trophies because once the kid is here, you won't be using it anymore."

  "You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. And keep your mind and your mouth out of my sex life with my wife."

  "It's cool, dude. Whatever you want. Just don't think I'm going to get whipped into marriage or kids. That shit's for guys like you and Noah who believe in love and fairytales. Me, I'm realistic. I know I'm no prince charming. And I know once you add dirty diapers and a screaming monkey in the mix, love isn't enough. And there's no time for sex. She'll be too tired, or the kid will be crying all night long and you'll stand on your head to get it to shut up. And when you're done with all of that Marlena will be off in dream land, and you'll feel too guilty to wake her. Your cock is going to shrivel up and dry out from lack of usage, so get all you can now, because in a few months it's gone."

  "Ignore him," Noah says attempting to placate Troy who now has steam shooting out of his ears. "He's a genetic experiment gone wrong."

  "Yeah, well don't think anyone would be stupid enough to want to have a family with you, Cooper. You are a complete jackass, and any girl with half a brain would have to be a total moron to have sex with you."

  I don't answer, because all my ribbing is playful.
His comment wasn't. He sucker punched me and he doesn't even know it. I take a long swig of my beer to stop myself from going back at him. If I do it will send Troy over the deep end, and possibly even jeopardize our friendship.

  "I'm teasing you. Sort of. Unless you see truth in what I'm saying,"

  Troy ignores me for a while. I get it, I crossed a line. I sit in silence as Troy continues filling us in on how big the baby is, and what they have left to do in the house before it arrives. Noah tells him about the house down at the shore we rented for a week in June. Me, I tune them out and instead think of the blonde seductress that's put a large chink in my armor. As if she knows, as if we're connected on some higher plain, my phone vibrates, and it's a message from Selene.

  Selene: Just landed in Texas. Miss you,

  I feel like a light turned on inside me.

  Me: Miss you too! There's a package waiting for you at the hotel. Don't open it until we're online together.

  Selene: Give me two hours.

  I can't wait to see the look on her face when she opens the box. I bet she's expecting something sweet or sexy. I think a vibrator is probably the last thing she expects. But I won't see her for a whole week, and I need to make sure her needs are satisfied so she doesn't go out looking for action. Plus, I've never had video sex. I can watch her take care of herself while she watches me jerk off. It's a win, win situation.

  "See," Noah's voice catches my attention. "He's so fucking smitten he doesn't even hear us talking about him"

  "Fuck you."

  "That was her, wasn't it? Oh never mind, It's written all over that goofy smile."

  "I'm not smiling." I lie. The smile started on the inside and worked its way out. I've got to play my hand better. The guys can't know how bad I have it for her or I'll never live it down.

  Chapter 11

  A knock on the door startles me. What a shitty fucking night. I haven't seen Selene in almost a week between her work schedule and mine, we've been on opposite ends of the country. Right now she's working a flight to Aruba. It sucks that she can go anywhere she damn pleases while I'm stuck at home missing her. I fucking miss her! How did that happen? I'm not supposed to feel this way. Not for her. Not for anyone.