A Night of Living Dangerously

by Jennie Lucas

  “Don’t be so hard on yourself.” She tried to give him a smile. “It was two nights.”

  He nearly shuddered with the memory of how good it had been between them. How she’d tasted. How she’d felt beneath him. He forced himself to say, “You will find someone else.”

  She stared at him. “That’s why you’re sending me to New York.”

  Thunder boomed over them. “You knew it was me?”

  “Of course I knew.” She looked at him with a tremulous smile. She swallowed, then squared her shoulders. Rain was starting to soak her long brown hair, causing her tank top and cotton skirt to cling to her skin. “Thank you for arranging the internship. It was—very kind.”

  Her generous spirit only made Alessandro feel more like a brute. His head was throbbing with pain. He tightened his hands into fists. “I wasn’t being kind, damn you. I was sending you away because I’m getting married. Not for love. Her father’s company will be an asset.” His hands tightened. “But when I speak vows, I will be faithful to them.”

  Lilley searched his gaze. “And if I were an heiress like her?” she whispered. “Would you choose me as your bride instead?”

  Looking at her, he held his breath. Then slowly, he shook his head. “You would never fit into my world.” His hand lifted. “It would destroy everything about you that I admire most. Everything that is cheerful and bright.”

  He barely caught himself before he touched her cheek. Thunder cracked again above their heads, as loud and metallic as a baseball bat against the earth, and he dropped his hand. “Olivia will be my perfect bride.”

  “I can’t let you marry her. Not without knowing what I, what I …” She licked her lips. “What I have to tell you.”

  Alessandro’s suit was now completely wet. The two of them were alone in the emerald garden, below the black sky. The scent of rain washed over the leaves, over the earth, over the distant vineyards and the pink bougainvillea twisting up the stucco of his villa.

  And looking at her beautiful, stricken brown eyes, he suddenly knew what she was going to say.

  “Don’t,” he ground out. “Don’t say it.”

  She hesitated, her lovely round face looking scared. Her hair and clothes were now stuck to her skin. He could see the full outline of her breasts and hard jut of her nipples beneath her thin cotton tank top. He could see the shape of her curvaceous legs beneath her skirt as lightning flashed above them. “Alessandro—”

  “No, cara.” He put his hand to her lips, stroking the rain off her face with the pads of his thumbs. “Please,” he whispered. “Do not speak the words. Leave us that, at least. I can see your feelings on your face. I already know what is in your heart.”

  Lilley looked up at him, her expression breathless. The rain began to fall more heavily and he realized he’d cupped her face in his hands. Her wet, full, pink lips were inches from his own, and he suddenly couldn’t breathe. He was hard and aching, his lips pulsing with the drive to kiss her. His body clamored for him to push her roughly against the hedge and claim her as his own.

  Using every drop of willpower he possessed, Alessandro dropped his hands, stepping away. He said harshly, “Go to New York, Lilley.”

  “Wait,” she choked out as he turned away. “You can’t go. Not until I tell you—”

  He whirled to face her, his expression cold. “Do not fight me. We must never see each other again. There is nothing you can say to make me change my decision.”

  She took a deep breath.

  “I’m pregnant with your baby,” she whispered.

  CHAPTER SIX

  THUNDER pounded the dark sky, shaking the earth beneath her feet. Lilley held her breath, waiting for his reaction.

  The violently swinging fairy lights above the hedge caused shadows to move across the sharp planes of Alessandro’s handsome face as he said hoarsely, “Pregnant.”

  “Yes.”

  A sharp flash of lightning illuminated his grim black eyes as he took a single step towards her. “You can’t be.”

  “I am.”

  “We used protection.”

  She spread her arms helplessly. “That one time, in the shower …”

  He sucked in his breath. “No.”

  “But—”

  “No.” Clawing back his wet black hair, he paced three steps across the lawn. Lilley watched him with a building sense of despair. Her body felt ice-cold, soaked to the bone. But that was nothing compared to her heart. She’d known he didn’t want her, and that he wouldn’t want their baby. But knowing it in her head and hearing him say it out loud were two different things.

  She wrapped her arms around her shivering body, trying to comfort herself and the baby inside her. It’s all right, she told herself, using the words her mother had often said to her when she was young and sad. It’ll be all right, sweetheart.

  It worked. She felt the anguish give way a fraction inside her. Lifting her head, she looked at Alessandro. She whispered, “It’s all right.”

  He stopped pacing. “What?”

  Love was a gift, Lilley realized. Love was always a gift. Even if the person you loved chose not to love you back.

  She looked at Alessandro, so handsome and impossibly sexy even with his expensive suit soaked with rain. His dark hair was plastered to his forehead and tousled. Compassion for him, for this man she’d almost loved, filled her heart, crowding out her grief for the husband and father he could never be. She took a deep breath. “Nothing has to change for you.”

  The expression on his face was suddenly as dark and ominous as the storm. “What?”

  “You told me from the start that our affair would only be a fling.” She shook her head. “I don’t expect you to help me raise our baby. I just thought you should know.”

  Alessandro’s eyes were black. The muscles of his powerful body tightened. “If you don’t expect me to raise your child, exactly what do you want from me?”

  She blinked. “Want?”

  “What are your demands? A house? Money?”

  His words were hard, but she saw the tremble of his body beneath the sheeting rain. And Lilley suddenly wondered what sort of people he’d lived with, that his first thought upon hearing she was pregnant was to expect her to demand money.

  “I don’t need anything,” she said quietly. Except a father for my baby, came the painful thought. Except for a man who can love me. But she would have to be brave, to be both mother and father to her sweet baby, who would need everything she could give. “Thank you for giving me two nights I’ll never forget. Thank you for believing in me. And most of all,” she whispered over the ache in her throat, “thank you for giving me a baby.”

  Blinking fast, she looked up at his face for the last time, trying to memorize his features into her memory. The aquiline silhouette of his nose. The hard angle of his jaw. His eyes like dark embers, blazing fire. “I hope your life is full of joy. I’ll never forget you.” She turned away. “Good-bye.”

  Lilley started walking back towards the villa, her sandals squishing in the wet grass, her heart breaking.

  His hand grabbed her shoulder, whirling her around. He looked down at her as the rain continued to pound them both. His eyes burned with fury. “You think you can tell me you’re pregnant—and just leave?”

  Lilley sucked in her breath, almost frightened at the darkness in his eyes. “There is no reason for me to stay—”

  “No reason?” His voice was nearly a shout. He visibly controlled himself. His jaw twitched as he loosened his grip on her upper arms. “If you truly are pregnant with my child,” he ground out, “how can you just turn and leave? How can you be so cold?”

  “Cold?” she gasped, ripping away. “What do you want from me? You want me to fall to the ground and cling to your knees, begging for you to love me and this baby, begging for you never to let me go?”

  “That at least I would understand!”

  “I can’t change your nature!” she cried, then took a deep gulping breath. “You made
your feelings clear. You want a wife you can be proud of. You want Olivia. And you want me three thousand miles away!”

  His eyes narrowed as he said in a low voice, “That was before.”

  “Nothing has changed.”

  “Everything has changed, if the baby is really mine.”

  It took several seconds for the meaning of his words to sink in. Then her eyes went wide. “You think I would sleep with another man, then lie to you about it?”

  Alessandro’s posture was so taut, he seemed like a statue. Like a stone. She could barely hear his voice as he said, “It happens.” His expression looked strange. “You might have gone back to the jewelry designer. Accidentally gotten pregnant, than decided to cash in.”

  “Cash in?” she said incredulously. “Cash in how?”

  He searched her gaze. “Do you swear you’re telling me the truth? The child is mine?”

  “Of course the baby is yours! You’re the only man I’ve ever slept with in my whole life!”

  “I want a paternity test.”

  She stiffened. “What?”

  “You heard me.”

  The insult was almost too much to bear. “Forget it,” she whispered. “I’m not doing some stupid paternity test. If you trust me so little, if you believe I’d lie to you about something like this, then just forget it.”

  Lilley’s body shook as she turned and walked away. Tears streamed down her face, blending with the rain. She was halfway across the empty lawn before he stopped her, and this time, the expression on his face had changed.

  “I’m sorry, Lilley,” he said quietly. “I do know you. And you wouldn’t lie.”

  Their eyes locked. She exhaled as the knots in her shoulders loosened. Then he spoke.

  “Marry me.”

  She heard the roar of her own heartbeat above the splatter of rain. “Is that a joke?”

  His sensual lips curved upward. “I never joke, remember?”

  Her head was spinning. She’d never expected him to propose, not in a million years, not in her most delusional dreams. “You … want to marry me?”

  “Is that so surprising? What did you expect—that I’d kick you and our unborn child to the curb and merrily go and propose to another woman?”

  Biting her lip, she looked up at the ruthless lines of his face. “Well … yes.”

  “Then you don’t know me at all.”

  “No,” she whispered. “I guess I don’t.” She felt dizzy and still a bit sick. She’d barely made it to Sonoma in Nadia’s old car without being sick, she’d been so nervous. And now he wanted to marry her? She licked her lips, feeling as though she might cry. “You want to help raise our baby?”

  Alessandro’s jaw was tight. “I will protect you both. I will give the baby my name. It is my duty.”

  Her heart, which had been soaring in blind hope, crashed to the ground. His duty? She exhaled. “You don’t need to marry me to be involved in our baby’s life.”

  “Yes. I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it is necessary.”

  “You’re old-fashioned.”

  “Yes.”

  “But you don’t love me!”

  He folded his arms. “Irrelevant.”

  “Not to me, it isn’t!” She exhaled, clenching her hands. “Listen, Alessandro, I’ll never try to keep you from seeing your child—”

  “I know that you will not, once we are wed.”

  “I’m not going to marry you!”

  “Of course you will,” he said coldly.

  She shook her head, causing wet tendrils to slap against her cheeks. “Be in a loveless marriage for the rest of my life? No thanks!”

  “I understand. You still want your knight in shining armor.” He set his jaw. “But whatever either of us might have once planned for our lives is over. We are expecting a child. We will wed.”

  “No—we would be miserable!”

  “Miserable?” he said incredulously. “Don’t you understand? You will be my bride. A princess. Rich beyond your wildest dreams!”

  “I don’t care—I don’t want it! Not when I know you don’t love me and never will!”

  He grabbed her by the shoulders, his hands sliding against her wet skin. “You would deny our child a name out of some childish yearning for fairytale dreams?”

  “It’s not childish.” She closed her eyes, which suddenly burned with tears that he’d used his knowledge of her heart against her. “You are cruel.”

  “I am right,” he said grimly. “You have no reason to refuse me.” He paused. “I will even be faithful to you, Lilley.”

  He spoke the words as if being faithful to her would require a huge sacrifice, practically more than any billionaire prince could bear. And it was probably true. “Gee, thanks,” she said sarcastically, glaring at him. “But I have no interest in being your duty bride.”

  “Your objection is to the word duty?” He narrowed his eyes. “What do you think marriage is?”

  “Love. Friendship. Having each other’s backs. A poetic union of souls—”

  His grip on her tightened. “And passion?” His voice became husky beneath the rain. “What of passion?”

  Her heart fell to her sandals and back again. She felt his strength, his warmth, the irresistible pull of his power. Against her will, she craved him.

  “It was good between us.” He ran his fingers lightly along her jawline, his thumb along her sensitive lower lip. His soft stroke caused a spark down her body that made her suck in her breath. “You know how it was.”

  Memories shuddered through her of how it had felt when he’d made love to her. Her breasts felt heavy, her nipples aching and tight. She swallowed. “It was a fling,” she breathed. “You said so yourself. I’m not the right woman to be your bride.”

  “My assessment has changed.” He cupped her face. His eyes were dark with heat. “For the last month,” he whispered, “I’ve thought of nothing but having you in my bed.”

  She licked her lips. “You—you have?”

  “I told myself you deserved a man who could love you. But everything has changed. Only our child matters now.” His gaze fell to her lips. “But that’s a lie,” he said in a low voice. “That’s not the only reason I want you as my bride. I want you to be mine. I want to possess you completely. Every night. For the rest of our lives.”

  Lilley could barely breathe. “But Olivia—”

  “I would have married her out of duty. Not desire.” He looked into her eyes. “You are the one I want, Lilley.” His mouth lowered to hers with agonizing slowness as he whispered, “Don’t you know that by now? I want you. And now I will have you—forever.”

  As he kissed her, she closed her eyes, her body shaking as his lips took ruthless possession of her own. His lips were hard and hungry as the rain poured over their skin and thunder pounded across the lowering black sky.

  She heard his low growl as in a sudden movement he pushed her back against the hedge. She felt the rough, wet branches of the shrubbery against her back as he held her tight against his wet, muscled body. He moved his hands through her hair, tilting her head to deepen the kiss. In the force of their embrace, their wet clothes slid and clung to their skin. His hands roamed everywhere, over her cotton tank top, over her hips. She felt his hand reach beneath the hemline of her skirt, dragging it slowly up her thighs. His hand slid upwards, and she gasped, placing her hand over his. “No.”

  “Don’t refuse me,” he said in a low voice. “It’s what we both want.”

  “I do want you,” she panted, then choked out a sob. “But I can’t marry you. I’d have to give up everything I believe in. I’m afraid it would destroy me to love you.”

  “So don’t love me.” He caressed her hair, looking down at her with serious dark eyes. “It’s too late for our own dreams, Lilley,” he said quietly. “All that matters now are our baby’s.”

  She sucked in her breath. He was right, she realized. All that mattered now was their child. She closed her eyes
. “Will you love our baby? Will you be a good father?”

  “Yes,” he said simply.

  Her heart twisted as she took a deep breath, then another. For an instant, she held her breath. Then she let her dreams for love go.

  She opened her eyes.

  “I can accept … a marriage without love,” she whispered, then shook her head. “But not without trust. Not without respect. I won’t be humiliated by a paternity test. Either believe that the baby is yours … or let us go.”

  Staring at her, Alessandro slowly nodded. “All right, cara,” he said in a low voice. “All right.”

  Swallowing back the ache in her throat, she whispered, “Then I’ll marry you.”

  Alessandro drew back. “You will?” The rain had lifted, and a beam of twilight sun burst from behind the clouds, illuminating his hard features with gold. “You’ll be my wife?”

  Wordlessly, she nodded.

  His eyes lit up, and the edges of his lips curved up into a bright smile that made him look younger, almost boyish. She’d never seen him look that way before. As Lilley stared up at him, the noise of the storm faded, and thunder became a distant memory.

  Maybe it would be all right, she thought, dazed. Maybe passion and a baby would be enough to start a marriage.

  She prayed it would be. Because that was all they had.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LILLEY’s hair flew around her, tangling in the cold night wind as Alessandro drove his yellow Ferrari convertible across the vast, lonely Nevada desert. She couldn’t stop looking over at him at the wheel. Moonlight frosted his dark hair with silver.

  The party had ended in scandal, when Alessandro had privately informed Olivia that she’d been misled by the gossip columns and he intended to take Lilley as his bride. Olivia had stomped out of the villa, but not before she’d grabbed Lilley’s arm in the foyer.

  “You’ll regret this,” the beautiful Milanese heiress had hissed, pressing her fingernails into Lilley’s flesh. “You might be pregnant with his child, you piece of trash, but you’re not worthy to be his wife. You think you’ve beaten me. But I will find a way to destroy you.”