The Duke's Love

by Stephanie Maddux

  Chapter Eighteen

  Three hours later, Jake was out of his mind with worry. Ana was in surgery and so far, the doctor could not tell him anything. The Viscount went to the constable to take care of the mess with Sarah. His mother was pacing and Jordan was in conversation with Eliza. Jake was left alone. Jake kept recalling the horrible moment when Sarah had recognized she was trapped. She had pulled the trigger anyway. He was furious with the runners he had sent to follow Sarah. They had let her sneak past them until it was almost too late. He was furious with himself for failing to keep her safe. Three times! Luckily, the host got everyone to leave early, and they managed to keep things semi-quiet.

  Jake jumped up as the doctor came in the room.

  “The bullet went straight through the left side of her stomach. If we keep it clean and there is no infection, then she will be fine. She has some stitches and needs some rest, but that’s all,” the doctor said tiredly. Jake flew into the next room, not realizing the doctor was on his heels.

  “Your Grace, if I may.” The doctor put a firm hand on his arm before he could make it into see Ana. Jake was growing impatient. “There is something I need to talk to you about. In private please,” he said forcibly.

  Jake hesitated. He really wanted to assure himself Ana was fine. He also knew the doctor would not say this without good reasoning. "Can’t it wait?"

  "I am afraid not, your Grace," he said somberly.

  “Fine, we will speak in the study.” They made the way across the hall and Jake closed the door and looked at him expectantly.

  “I presume you and Lady Ana have had relations,” he stated bluntly.

  “Is there a medical reason for which you are asking?” Jake said in turn.

  The doctor fidgeted with his shirt cuff before he said, “She lost the baby, your Grace. I seriously doubt she even knew that she was pregnant,” he said.

  Jake was speechless. “Baby…she lost…she was….how do I tell her,” Jake was at a loss for words. Ana had been pregnant and she had lost their child. His heart shattered at what he would have to tell her when she awoke.

  “I don’t think you need to tell her. I believe it would only upset her more, considering we thought she couldn’t have children in the first place. I just thought you would want to know, for future reference,” the doctor said.

  Jake was confused, he went to pour the doctor and himself a drink. “What do you mean she knew she couldn’t have children?” He asked. Jake took a swallow of sherry.

  “I assumed she told you when the two of you became engaged. She fell from a horse about four years back. I was her attending doctor. She tore muscles and had bleeding from the womb. I told her it was highly unlikely she would be able to conceive with the damage that had been done,” he spoke quietly.

  “What about now, she conceived once, could she conceive again?” Jake asked silently taking this information in.

  The doctor hesitated too long and Jake already knew the answer before the doctor confirmed it. “I would say it was a chance she could before, but not now, there has been previous damage and now more has been done, so her chances are nonexistent. I’m sorry,” The doctor said in a sympathetic tone.

  Jake wasn’t even aware when the doctor left, he was too preoccupied with his thoughts. She couldn’t have children and she knew about it and did not tell him? Jake willed himself to calm down, but it wasn’t working. He could not call off the wedding, and he loved her too much to let her go, but not to have an heir. He didn’t know what to do.

  He wanted children and he wanted them with Ana. He sat in silence and darkness pondering his options. He needed to get to Ana, regardless of his raging feelings. He needed to assure himself that she was safe and okay. The rest will come later.

  Katherine covered her mouth with her hand in a despairing gesture. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Jake’s conversation with the doctor. She just wanted to know what was going on. Jake walked right past her on his way to see Ana. Katherine doubted Jake even saw her standing there, and debated about following, but wisely decided to wait until Jake decided what course to take. Katherine went to find Eliza to see what she knew about this.

  “Eliza, does Ana keep any secrets from you?” She asked.

  “No, why do you ask?” Eliza’s brows lifted in concern.

  “Tell me about her incident four years ago.” Katherine watched Eliza’s eyes widened. She was frowning silently.

  “I’m afraid I don’t know what you are talking about,” she said.

  Katherine started to speak, when Jake entered the room. Questions broke out and Jake raised his hand to silence them.

  “She’s fast asleep and dosed with medicine to help her stay that way,” he stated. Katherine stared at her son. His face was drawn and haggard. She realized that ever since Ana had been back into his life, it was as if he was miserable one moment, happy the next, and then back to being miserable. Was some emotion better than none? She questioned herself, but before she could answer, Eliza broke in.

  “What were you talking about, an incident involving Ana?” Eliza asked.

  Everyone focused on her and she shifted uncomfortably. Katherine looked directly at Jake and confessed what she had heard when he was in the study.

  “Can’t I have any damn privacy?” Jake spit out as he stalked out the door, only to return a second later to demand what Eliza knew.

  "I only know she had a riding accident. She was racing against Gregory and she was thrown when the horse jumped. I know it was really bad. Her parents didn’t let her out of the house for weeks,” she told them. Katherine saw Jake visibly flinch when the Viscount’s name was mentioned.

  Jake threw himself down on the nearest chair and blurted out, “She won’t be able to have children.” Eliza gasped and then Jake felt the need to repeat himself, “She can’t conceive.” No one knew what to say to this announcement.

  “Why does that matter, you love her, don’t you. What’s it going to change?” Eliza asked softly.

  Jake shook his head. “I want children. It is the one thing I cannot buy or force someone to give me. I want children of my own, is that so much to ask?” Jake demanded.

  “What about nieces or nephews. I would be willing to marry to have some, if that would make you happy,” Jordan offered.

  “It wouldn’t be the same,” Jake got up and murmured something about keeping Ana company until she woke up.

  Katherine watched her son leave and wondered what she had done to him with her scheming, and whether she would regret it later.

  Chapter Nineteen

  The Viscount had stopped by several times already to see Ana, before Jake had decided to ask him exactly what had happened. When he stopped by this time, Gregory knew it was coming. He was told the news. Of course, he already knew. He had been waiting for this and the time has come.

  “Gregory, can you tell me about her accident?” He asked. Gregory took in Jake’s face and knew the right thing was to tell him, even though Ana would probably hate him for it later.

  “It happened about four years ago. I will be honest with you; I had more in mind than friendship at one time.” He stopped in case Jake had any comments about this news. When he did not Gregory continued, “She and her parents had spent the week at my home in France. We were having fun, racing each other down by the lake. She loved riding horses. I proposed marriage and she was stunned. When she refused, we argued. Then she raced off without watching where she was going. The horse stepped in a hole and threw her. She landed on a pile of tree limbs and rocks.” He stopped again, this time allowing himself time to recover from the painful memories. That had been the worst day in his life, He had lost so much, but she had lost more.

  “You asked her to marry you?” Jake asked.

  “Yes, I did. She refused outright and I got angry. Anyway, I carried her back to the house. She was bleeding everywhere. The doctor was with her for hours. He told me that she would probably never have children because of the accident. It broke some
thing inside her, the doctor said.” Gregory said with a grimace, remembering the awful conversation.

  Jake broke in with another question. “Is that why you stopped pursuing her?”

  Gregory looked at the man across from him and he could not lie. “Yes, in a way. I needed an heir. I have no one suitable enough to step up if I don’t have one. I also blamed myself for doing this to her. After she recovered, she went home. I stayed away for a while, watching in the distance when the two of you started courting.” Gregory decided he might as well tell him all of it. “After you proposed to her, and she accepted, she came to see me and we talked. She needed closure, I guess. She asked me whether she should trust you with her secret or not. I was the one that talked her out of marrying you. You need an heir, just as much as I do, if not more. I guess that I had put myself in your shoes and told her it would be better to walk away. The next thing I knew, she cried off your engagement. I, of course, felt awful and I stayed by her side through the rumors and gossip. We have become really close over the last two years.” Gregory finished.

  Jake stood up, knocking his chair over with force. “You son of a bitch.” Before Gregory had a chance to respond, Jake swung and his fist connected with the side of Gregory’s face. A fight had broken out in Ana’s home. They were beating the hell out of one another. Neither of them heard Ana as she limped downstairs to see what was causing all the noise.

  “Jesus, could you at least take it outside?” She asked weakly. They both stopped. Jake’s lip was cracked and he had a black eye, but Gregory looked worse. His nose was broken and half of his face was covered with blood. Jake took one look at Ana and left the room, leaving Gregory to explain what just happened.

  Ana heard the front door slam shut. She faced Gregory and she demanded answers.

  “You need to get back upstairs, sweetheart,” he said. He didn't pay much attention to himself, other than to clean up a little. He helped her back to her room and got her settled before he began to explain the events that led to the fight. Ana let him finish before she cried with anguish.

  Jake needed time to sort out what he was going to do. He loved her and he was not going to let her go. Could he go through life without having any children of his own? His mother had been in to see how he was doing and he was getting tired of his brother’s lectures about how he was acting. Of course, he was worried about Ana. He had Eliza informing him about her condition daily. He just couldn’t face her right now. After several days, he brought himself to check on her. He remained quiet and showed no outward emotions when he saw her.

  He was dying on the inside at the thought of what he was losing. He paid the doctor another visit and he reaffirmed his earlier decision about the diagnosis. It seemed like every corner he turned, he hit a dead end. He was letting his work slide. He stopped responding to his correspondents. He knew he needed to make a decision and fast. Ana wasn't going to wait for long.

  “Your Grace, Lady Elizabeth, and Lady Bainbridge are here to see you,” Adams said from the doorway of Jake’s study. He thought of saying he was not in to receive calls, but he needed to come to grips with the situation. He met the two women, offered drinks and snacks, before sitting down.

  “How are you, Your Grace?” The Countess asked politely. Before he had a chance to answer, Eliza interrupted.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself!” She scolded. He was ashamed. He just wasn’t going to admit it aloud.

  "She is suffering and you don't even care. How dare you treat her like that?” She screamed.

  Jake stiffened. “I don’t…” he started to say.

  “Don’t. I do not want to hear it,” she said. Eliza was worked up and angry.

  “Dear, give him a chance to defend himself,” her mother broke in.

  Jake did not want to defend himself. She was right. He was self-involved and gave no thought to what Ana was going through.

  Abruptly, he stood up and said, "Excuse me ladies while I go remedy the situation."

  Through the week, Ana had finally been able to get out of the house, even if it was to go to the garden in the back. She was still in pain, but she was healing. Sarah was awaiting trial in Newgate Prison, and Ana hoped she got what she deserved. Jake was concerning her. He was being aloof and had kept at a distance. This past week, there were no sweet kisses, no overnight stays and their conversations were always impersonal.

  She felt the only reason Jake was even here, was because he pitied her. She was sitting down when a shadow fell on her. She looked up to see Jake looking down at her. He shrugged off his jacket and sat down beside her. It was the closest he had been to her since the soirée.

  “We need to talk, Ana.” He sounded so formal and she knew whatever he said next did not bode well for her. “When were you going to tell me?” He asked quietly, without looking at her.

  “Tell you what?” She asked innocently.

  Jake swore under his breath. “Don’t play dumb with me, love, I won’t have it.”

  “It would help to know what you are talking about,” Ana said uncertainly.

  “I’m talking about you not being able to have children,” he said.

  Ana’s mouth tightened in frustration. “But you knew. I told you when you demanded I had to marry you. I told you then that I could not because of my inability to have children. I did tell you,” she said in frustration.

  Jake was silent for so long, she thought maybe he hadn’t heard her. Jake got up and was looking everywhere except at her. “Yes, you did. I remember now, and I am so sorry,” he conceded. He didn’t say anything after that, just continued to stand there staring out at nothing.

  “Is that why you have been acting so strangely?” She asked gently.

  He grabbed her hand, kissed the top of it and said, “I want children, Ana.”

  Ana felt her heart constrict. “Obviously, I can’t give them to you.” Ana could see Jake was at a loss of words.

  “I thought you were playing games with me when you told me,” Jake confessed.

  “What do you want to do now?” She asked the unspoken question.

  “I don’t know,” he said.

  “You have to decide, Jake. If you do not want to marry me, tell me, I am a big girl. I can handle it,” she said quietly, fighting back the tears she didn’t want him to see.

  “I need time, Ana, can you give me that?” He asked.

  Ana nodded, mostly because she couldn’t speak. She watched as Jake leaned down and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, and then silently left, leaving her alone, once again.

  Jake had every right not to marry her, but it hurt nonetheless. She already knew Jake’s decision. He needed an heir, wanted an heir. She wasn’t going to stand in his way. She needed to leave or else he would never give her up. She needed to leave before she lost her courage to do so.

  She was going to the Viscount's home in the country, until she could get suitable passage to the continent. She would make a new life for herself. She was determined in this. There was no way she could stay and see Jake marry someone else, let alone him having the children that should be hers.

  Chapter Twenty

  Katherine was worried about her son. He wasn’t eating, sleeping, or even socializing. Jordan gave up trying to coax him out of his depression. Katherine went to see how Ana was faring, only to discover she had left, with no one knowing where she went. In the time she had gotten to know Ana, she knew it wasn’t like Ana to hide from her problems or run away. She didn’t really want to call off the wedding yet, but they were leaving her with no choice. She was just waiting for him to arrive home.

  “What’s wrong mother?” Jake said as he entered some time later.

  Katherine was surprised to see her son completely sober. “Ana’s gone and no one has seen her in the last few days,” she cried.

  “Damn it! “ Jake instantly jumped into action. He was shouting out orders to the servants and within fifteen minutes, he was out the door.

  Jake had a lot of time to think
about his future in the last several days. Seeing Ana all battered and bruised in the garden sent him over the edge. He was pissed off at the world, but mostly for her, not at her. How must she feel about this? What had she gone through? Of course, he still wanted her. He just needed time to clear his head and decide the best course. Did she give him time? No, she left him again. He wasn't going to let her go so easily this time.

  He stopped at Ana’s home. He questioned the servants and her neighbors, but they hadn’t spoken to her either. Jordan rode up on horseback and stopped beside Jake’s coach.

  “Did you find her yet?” Jordan asked.

  “How did I let this happen?” He said mostly to himself.

  Jordan shrugged and climbed down from the horse.

  “I’m staying here until she shows up,” he said.

  Jake knew Ana had to come home at some point. All her things were still there and her cat was perched up against the window.

  Jake sat there for a full day, before his temper got the best of him. He went to seek out Eliza.

  “She is probably at the Viscount’s country home. It is where she went when her parents died and to get over you,” she told Jake.

  Jake tried not to let his jealousy color his feelings. “Where is his home?” Gregory had several and it was hard to tell which one she would be at.

  “Let me go ask my mum,” she said to bide time. The Countess came and told him that his closest estate was located in Dorset. Damn, Dorset was a day’s ride. Jake said his thanks and goodbyes and headed home to grab some necessities before his trip.

  He rode on horseback, not taking the time to have his carriage readied. He rode straight through without stopping. After help with directions from some of the locals, he found the estate he was looking for. He took in the grand home and lush land. The Viscount was clearly well off. Jake brushed aside the thought, not caring either way. He was here for one purpose, and that was to fetch Ana home.