A Cowboy for Christmas

by Sara Richardson

  “Sorry I slept so long.” She had to have been out for at least an hour. Seriously. First the stomachaches, now she was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open. These weird symptoms were starting to freak her out. It had been a while since she’d been to the doctor. Maybe something was wrong. She’d never been someone who could take naps. In fact, the whole reason she’d gotten out her pillow was so she could bail on their conversation, on his question about Gray, on reliving the past. She’d gotten so caught up in the memories of her childhood, she’d actually told Ty how much she’d wanted children. At that point, it had seemed safer to sleep than to continue down that road, so she’d rested her head back and bam, she’d fallen right to sleep.

  “You must’ve been tired.” Ty continued to stare straight ahead, squinting like he could hardly see. “I heard from my parents a few minutes ago. Their flight is delayed because of the weather.”

  “That figures.” Flying into Denver in the winter was never a guarantee. “You think we should turn around?” There sure didn’t seem to be anyone else out on the roads, which was actually a good thing. Less chance for an accident that way.

  “Nah.” Ty adjusted his posture as though his shoulders had gotten stiff. “My mom thought they’d only be delayed a few hours, and at the rate we’re moving it’ll take an extra five or six hours to get to Denver anyway.”

  Darla peered out the windshield again. Everything she could see in the beam of their headlights was covered with a thick layer of snow. Not even the lines on the highway were visible. “I hate driving in the snow,” she commented, rifling through her bag to find something to settle the hunger that seemed to gnaw at her stomach. She pulled out the trail mix and opened the bag, offering some to Ty.

  “Snow doesn’t bother me.” He took a handful. “The winters in Montana were worse than this.” He dumped the trail mix into his mouth.

  Darla munched on the raisins and peanuts and saved the chocolates she’d made herself for last. “Did you like growing up there?”

  “Didn’t appreciate it enough at the time, but yeah. It was a nice place to grow up. I got to run wild, ride horses, work outside. As much as I hated it sometimes, it was good for me.” He stole a glance at her. “What about you? Where’d you grow up?”

  Now that she could talk about. As long as it didn’t lead to Gray. “In Arizona. But I came out to Colorado for college and never left.” She’d fallen in love with the mountains and Denver’s laid-back vibe. And Gray. Sorrow expanded in her chest, forcing a sigh. That letter he’d written her was still stashed away in the cabinet. She couldn’t seem to make herself take it out and read it again. But that wasn’t something she could talk about with Ty. She wanted to forget about it. “I love having four distinct seasons in the year instead of just hot and lukewarm,” she said, popping some of the chocolates into her mouth.

  “Yeah. I could never live where it’s summer all the time…” Ty’s gaze narrowed as he stared up ahead of them. “Uh-oh.”

  Darla leaned forward and squinted. Not too far in front of them, red and blue lights flashed in the center of the highway.

  He let out a groan. “I know what that means. They closed the pass.”

  “That’s great.” It was just her luck they’d get stuck on the highway. Yesterday it was sunny and beautiful, and today they were in the middle of a blizzard.

  Ty brought the truck to a sliding stop, and a police officer walked over to the window. “We’ve got a twenty-car pileup near the top of the pass,” he informed them. “Had to close it down for now. You’re gonna have to sit tight.”

  “Got it. Thanks.” Ty buzzed the window back up and slipped the truck into park. “Looks like we’ll have to hunker down for a while.”

  He seemed completely calm about it, but a tendril of panic curled through Darla’s stomach. “Like spend the night here? In your truck on the side of a mountain?” While snow piled up all around them? Anxiety squeezed her heart, making it pump harder. She would never reveal it to anyone else, but since Gray had died her thoughts had tended to jump right into the pool of worst-case scenarios. They could freeze to death out here. Or get buried under the snow. She’d once read a story about a couple whose car had gotten stranded in the mountains and the man had gone to find help, but had died of hypothermia before he found anyone.

  “There’s nothing to worry about.” Ty turned up the heat. “We might not have to be out here the whole night. My guess is they’ll be able to reopen the pass in a few hours.”

  Even with the heat blasting on her, Darla shuddered. In her head, she knew the anxiety was ridiculous, but the rest of her body couldn’t seem to relax. “We’ll freeze.” They couldn’t let the truck idle for hours without running out of gas. “And what about food? I don’t know if my snacks are going to last all night.”

  Ty laughed like he thought she was joking. “We can ration out the trail mix.” He eyed her with humor. “As long as you stop eating all the chocolate.”

  She was too nervous to look offended. “How much gas do we have?”

  “We’ll have to ration that out too.” Ty unbuckled his seat belt. “I keep an emergency kit in the back of the truck. It’s got bottled water, sleeping bags, flashlights, and a shovel in case we have to dig ourselves out.”

  “Dig ourselves out?” Darla put away the trail mix and sat on her hands so they’d stop trembling. “We could turn around and try again tomorrow morning.” That sounded much safer.

  “Actually, I don’t think we should drive more than necessary in this weather.” Ty leaned closer to her, watching her carefully. “Are you worried?”

  “A little.” A little? Blood raged through her veins hot and cold at the same time.

  He put his hand on her shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about. I promise. I’ll take care of you. Everything’ll be fine.”

  The touch, the gentle drawl of his voice stilled something inside of her. Of course she’d never given in that easily. “How do you know everything’ll be fine?”

  “I’m fully prepared to spend a night in my truck. I grew up in Montana,” he reminded her. “I’ve ridden out more than one winter storm.”

  “Okay.” So they were doing this. They were spending the night in his truck. Together. One day after he’d given her a kiss that still produced hot flashes if she let herself think too much about it. She couldn’t think about it. Darla defiantly reached for the trail mix and shoved more chocolate in her mouth.

  “We’ll run the engine for a few more minutes,” Ty said, reaching out to blast the heat. “You can stay warm while I grab everything we’ll need from the back.”

  Before she could respond, he’d climbed out of the truck and disappeared in the dark snowy night.

  Sitting all by her lonesome, she let out the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. Perfect. She had a few minutes to pull herself together. Everything will be fine. Everything will be fine. As long as she didn’t kiss him again, everything would be fine. It was only seven o’clock, so with any luck, they could get going again before it got too late. She and Ty had spent plenty of time together. Though a lot of those times they’d been doing things she wanted to avoid now. They’d simply have to find other ways to pass the time when they were alone.

  The memories of their hot nights together burned through her. It was hard to forget how he’d touched her, how he’d managed to bring her outside of herself on more than one occasion. But those times hadn’t been like the night he’d made her tea, or the kiss yesterday. She’d been able to emotionally detach—and so had he. Something had shifted since then, and it made her want to run scared.

  The back door was flung open, and Ty thrust a large bin onto the backseat of the cab. “This should do it.” He closed the door and then climbed in next to Darla. Snow covered his hat and coat. “It’s freezing out there.” He pulled off the hat, which made his hair stick up in a very sexy, disheveled look.

  Stop it, she reminded herself.

  “You’re warm enough?�
� he asked, looking her over.

  Warm didn’t begin to describe it. “Nice and toasty.”

  “Good.” Ty twisted and rose to his knees in his seat, reaching for the bin in the back. “Before I turn off the truck, why don’t you get settled?” He tossed her a compact downy sleeping bag. “Need a water or anything?”

  “Nope. I’m good.” She pulled the sleeping bag out of its cover and maneuvered the opening down to her feet, pulling it up her legs until she was fully nestled inside the fabric.

  Ty did the same with the other sleeping bag, and she couldn’t help but laugh at how they both must have looked, stuffed into sleeping bags in the cab of his truck.

  He turned off the engine, which made things seem too quiet. Quiet and too intimate and dark. “What else do I need to know about your family before I meet them?” It was easier to talk to him when they could only see a shadow of each other in the darkness.

  “Hmmm.” Ty seemed to think for a moment. “My parents are ranchers, so they’re tough as nails,” he finally said. “They say what’s on their minds, but my mom talks about three times as much as my dad.”

  That made her smile. “Good. Then she can do most of the talking for all of us.”

  “She’ll definitely do most of the talking.” He maneuvered to face her, but it was too dark for Darla to read his expression. “You don’t have to worry much about them. They’re good people.”

  She didn’t even try to disguise her confusion. “If they’re good people, and you had a good childhood, why don’t you see them much?” She liked to think that if she had fond memories of her childhood, she’d stay close to her parents.

  “I guess I got tired of trying so hard.” The words were subdued. Almost defeated. “My first competition after I went to train at Gunner’s place, I asked them to come.” A humorless laugh interrupted the words. “And back then I really thought they might. I bought them plane tickets and made hotel reservations for them. They said they’d be there, but when I looked up in the stands before my ride, their seats were empty.”

  “That’s horrible.” Sympathy gave her heart a good tug. It definitely hurt when the people you counted on weren’t there for you, but surely his parents had a good explanation, especially with all the money he’d spent. “Did they tell you why they didn’t make it?”

  “Rhett came home for the weekend, so they decided to stay with him.” The words weren’t bitter, more like…resigned. “All my friends had someone there to cheer them on—Levi’s dad and brother came. Mateo’s sister. But I had no one.”

  “I didn’t know that.” She never would’ve guessed pain and disappointment had isolated Ty the same way it had isolated her.

  It got so quiet she could almost hear the snow falling, the flakes landing softly on the windshield, sealing them into a safe cozy space.

  “I tried to get them to come a few more times,” Ty finally said. “But they always had an excuse. They couldn’t get away from the ranch, or Rhett really needed them at his game. So eventually I quit trying. I got tired of the disappointment.”

  On some level, she’d felt the same thing growing up. That desire to make her parents love her the way she wanted to be loved. Instead, they were distant. More like guardians than real parents. She’d always been an afterthought. That was why she’d fallen so hard for Gray. He’d loved her like no one else ever had. He’d put her first. And then he’d been taken away and she’d spent ten years making sure she didn’t need anyone else. Maybe Ty had been doing the same thing. Partying and traveling and keeping himself ridiculously busy enough to avoid building any deep connections.

  “After Gray’s funeral, I didn’t get out of bed for five weeks.” She’d never told anyone that. Not even her best friends knew. But Ty had shared so much, and she wanted him to know she understood what it felt like to be lonely. “Even then I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed if the fire alarm hadn’t gone off in my building. My neighbor finally broke down my door and carried me out.” When Mr. Reed had come in, she’d begged him to leave her there. Without Gray, her life hadn’t mattered.

  “I can’t even imagine how hard that must’ve been.” It was the perfect thing for Ty to say. It wasn’t I’m so sorry. It wasn’t a question she had to answer. It was an acknowledgment of her pain and nothing more.

  “Six months. That’s all it was from the time he was diagnosed until he died.” She’d tried to take care of Gray the best she could. To make him smile. To ease his pain. But during those six months she’d learned how powerless she really was. “I think he was the only person who’s ever loved me.” He’d taught her how to love, how to be loved, and when he died he’d taken all her love with him.

  Ty eased closer to her. “Do you think you’ll ever let anyone else love you?”

  “I don’t think I can.” She’d done a stellar job of convincing everyone around her that she was strong and independent and fearless, but underneath all of that, there was still this terrifying sense of fragility.

  “Gray must’ve been a great guy,” Ty murmured.

  “He was the best.” She used to think Gray had been too good to be true, and in some ways he had been.

  The sleeping bag swished softly as Ty moved to rest against the driver’s side door again. Even in the dim light she could see the sad twinge of a frown on his lips. “Are you sure you want to do this, Darla?” he asked. Something that sounded like disappointment edged into his tone. “Are you sure you want to pretend to be engaged to me? Because I can tell my parents things didn’t work out between us after all. I don’t want to bring up any hard memories for you.”

  She stayed quiet for a few seconds, searching out his face, reading his feelings. Something she said had hurt him. She hadn’t meant to, but it was better to get this conversation out of the way now. “Pretending isn’t hard.” It was the real feelings she had to avoid at all costs.

  Chapter Nine

  Ty should’ve learned by now to be careful what he asked for. He’d asked Darla if she could ever love someone again, and he’d gotten his answer. Then he’d had to stare at her for the last several hours wanting something he knew he could never have.

  He rubbed his eyes, which were sticky with fatigue from a sleepless night, and tried to focus on the highway in front of him. Leave it to him to let himself feel something for her right before she told him she could never let anyone else love her.

  His desire to wrap his arms around her and take away her pain had brought a deep, physical ache, but he forced himself to stay still, to keep his hands in his own sleeping bag while he thought about the hell the next couple of weeks and their fake engagement would bring. Touching her, probably kissing her, spending time with her, all the while wanting it to be real but also knowing he’d never be enough to help her heal.

  She was still grieving, and he might be good at giving her a physical escape every now and then, but he didn’t know how to reach deeper into her pain—how to help pull her through it—and she needed someone who did.

  At first he’d thought she told him about Gray because she was opening up to him, but then he realized the truth. She’d told him about her pain so he wouldn’t pursue her. It had been so obvious. After Darla had told him she’d never let anyone else love her, she’d seemed to relax. They’d talked more about his family—mainly going over details like relative’s names and pets and significant happenings in his childhood before Darla had fallen asleep. Ty had spent most of the night turning the truck on and off occasionally to keep them warm, and finally, just before five, the trooper had knocked on the window to tell them they’d reopened the highway.

  Darla had only made it a half hour before nodding off again, and she’d slept the whole way down, which had been fine with him. He had plenty on his mind with the impending show they were about to put on during his family reunion. He hadn’t seen his parents since the early spring, when he’d gone home for a quick week to help his dad with some work on the ranch. And he hadn’t even talked to his brother in person in well o
ver a year. Should make for a fun afternoon. He’d best get it started.

  “Hey.” Ty gently rocked Darla’s shoulder. “Time to wake up. We’re almost to the airport.”

  She stirred, yawned, and sat upright, pulling the pillow that had been propped against the window into her lap. “Wow. That’s quite a sunrise.” She looked ahead of them in a daze, and Ty had to remind himself to steer his gaze back to the road. Yeah, the sunrise was impressive—the far edges of the eastern sky were fringed with deep reds and pinks, but that didn’t hold his attention nearly as much as Darla did. How could the woman look even better when she’d just woken up? It was that unguarded happiness lighting her eyes. Like she’d forgotten to pick up her shield and wedge it between them.

  Ty steered his gaze back to the road. He had to stop looking at her, had to get it through his mind that she wasn’t available.

  “Whew.” In the seat next to him, Darla pulled down the visor mirror. “Sheesh, I have no idea why I’m so tired.” She patted her cheeks and smoothed her hair, though Ty preferred the bedraggled look.

  “So it’s Robert and Maureen,” she recited. “And your brother, of course, is Rhett.”

  Of course. No one ever forgot his name, his brother made sure of that. “Sounds like you’ve got it all down.” He changed lanes to exit off the highway onto Pena Boulevard. If only he had it all down. The rules. The dos and don’ts. The handle on his own feelings. This was all new to him. He’d never wanted to complicate a relationship with a bunch of emotions on either side. He was so wrong for Darla, and yet that didn’t seem to make him want her any less.

  “I hope they like me.” She moved her head from side to side as though inspecting every angle of her face in the mirror.

  “They’ll like you.” He wanted to tell her she looked fine too. Better than fine. She looked beautiful in the soft light of morning, but he’d best keep that thought to himself. “Who doesn’t like you?” he asked instead.