by Nicole Dykes
“But he still fooled around with you.”
“Well, he’s still a guy. And he can’t have her.”
Dani and I are quite the pair aren’t we? “So you’re totally fine with him using you?”
“It’s not like I didn’t use him too, Cassie. You should see his fucking body! Dayum!”
I don’t want to think about Cam’s body. “Dani, no details.”
She pouts, “But we always tell each other every dirty detail.”
I laugh. There is just something about Dani. She takes me as I am and I do the same for her. We are both messed up, probably beyond repair, but we have each other at the end of the day to compare notes. “I know, but I just don’t want to know about Cam’s body.”
“Well let’s just say it’s impressive. Every single inch.”
I roll my eyes at her innuendo that’s actually fairly subtle for Dani. “I can’t really say much about what happened with you and Cam tonight. I kissed Hunter.”
I can hear her rolling to her side, excitedly, “No fucking way! Did he kiss you back?”
I nod, even though she can’t see me. “Yes, briefly. He stopped it though.”
“Jesus, what is up with these guys holding back on us?”
We both giggle at that, “I don’t know. He said it was partially because of some stupid guy friend code.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“I guess there is some unwritten rule that you don’t fuck your friend’s sister.”
“Ah. Well fuck that. Luke would get over it.”
I think he would too. Of course, for an asshole, Luke is really protective of me. Hunter is an amazing guy though. “I don’t know. There’s more to it, but he wouldn’t tell me.”
“Fucking guys. They are so annoying sometimes and then they say we are complicated.”
Dani and I tell each other everything and I need to voice my concern so I do, “He’s only been with one girl.”
Her tone is surprised for sure, “What? This year?”
“His whole life and no one this year.”
“What the fuck? Is that why he won’t sign the football contract? He’s actually planning to become a priest?”
“No, he said it had nothing to do with religion. He just doesn’t have casual sex and hasn’t been interested in anyone.” I swallow the lump in my throat, “So, maybe he’s not interested in me because I’ve told him about the guys I’ve been with. Maybe he wants a good girl.”
I can feel her rolling her eyes at me even though I can’t see her. “Please, you’ve been with three fucking guys in your almost nineteen years.”
I told her about Austin, without telling her who he was or going into much detail. “Yeah, but that’s three times his number and he loved Miranda. I think he wanted her to be the only one.”
“So, what Cassie you think you aren’t good enough because that is total bullshit. You are the best, my friend. Fuck him if that’s the reason. You can do better.”
I try to let her words comfort me, but the insecurity is there.
What if it’s true and he only wants a good wholesome girl?
Chapter 20
Cassie
Next Friday, Hannah’s car pulls up to Dylan and Brooke’s house in Overland Park where I grew up. It’s my ninetieth birthday and I promised Brooke I would come home to celebrate. Hannah offered to drive me since she would be attending also. I honestly see her like another sister so it wasn’t an awkward ride here.
I was quiet though, my mind on Hunter. Where it has been since last Saturday night at his house. That kiss haunts me. I just can’t stop thinking about his hard body pressed against me and his full lips on mine. I haven’t seen him or talked to him since.
I get out of Hannah’s car and we walk up to the front door together. I use my key to let us in and see Jax and Charlotte sitting on the living room couch with my little niece, Sylvie on his lap. It’s hilarious to watch Jax with Sylvie. A big, tattooed man making goofy faces and talking baby talk is just funny, but she adores him. He nods his head at me, “Hey, it’s the birthday girl!”
I smile over at him, “Hi, Jax. Hi, Charlotte.”
Charlotte greets me and they both greet Hannah as we walk further into the room. I ask, “Where is everyone else?”
Jax answers, “Dylan and Luke should be here any minute, Brooke is preparing your birthday feast and the kids are in their rooms.”
Same ole. I’m oddly comforted by that as I plop down on the couch next to Jax and hold my finger up for Sylvie to wrap her chubby little hand around. She coos over at me and I can’t help but smile over at her. Hannah announces she is going into the kitchen to help and Charlotte goes with her.
Jax nudges me with his arm, “So, how’s school?”
“It’s fine. I’ve only been there for a month.”
“Right. So, no huge, out of control, drug filled parties or orgies.”
I roll my eyes, but laugh at him, “Gross. No. It’s been very uneventful.”
Lie. I’m not going to tell him about Hunter and I, and all of the totally humiliating dumbass things I’ve already done since I’ve been to college. “Good. I don’t really feel like committing homicide this year.”
I laugh at that. He’s kidding, I know that, but there is no doubt in my mind that he would really hurt someone for hurting me. That’s why I never told anyone about Brent and Logan and what they did at that party. I always felt I kind of had that coming in a way. I was the one that slept with them both.
I hear the front door and see Luke and Dylan walk into the living room. Dylan grins at me and walks over for a hug as I stand up, “Hey, Cass. Happy birthday.”
“Thanks.”
Luke nods at me, “Where’s Hannah?”
“Good to see you too, Luke. She’s in the kitchen.”
He doesn’t waste time by acknowledging my sarcasm and just goes into the kitchen. I see Jax shake his head, “Man that kid has it bad.”
I sit back down next to him, “You’re one to talk. You hate being apart from Charlotte.”
“That’s why I’m never away from her.” He winks at me.
I laugh and then hear Brooke calling from the kitchen, “Dinner’s ready!”
Michael and Gabby run past me and straight into the dining room. Dylan looks over in my direction, “I swear they miss you.”
“Yeah, I can tell.” I joke.
Jax, Dylan, and I go into the dining room and I look at the table. Brooke has made my all time favorite meal of chicken parmesan and there is fresh salad and bread sticks to go with it. She pulls me into a big hug, “I’m so happy you are home!”
I hug her back. Sometimes she really reminds me of my mother even though she’s a good fifteen years younger. “Thanks for the dinner, Brooke. It’s smells incredible.”
“Of course, you know the rules. Everyone gets their favorite dinner on their birthday.”
I take a seat next to Gabby and Jax at the dinner table. Brooke has gone all out for birthdays since we first met and she found out how important birthdays were to my mother. We even celebrate my dad and my mom’s birthdays every year.
Alex waltzes in to the dining room and gives my shoulder a squeeze, “Well hi, miss Cassie.”
I grin over at her, “Hi, Alex! I was wondering if you would be here.”
She takes a seat across from me, “Of course, I wouldn’t miss your birthday for anything.”
“Where’s Stephen?”
Her fiancé is frequently missing from these dinners. He’s kind of a workaholic and Jax and him don’t get along too well. Truth be told, he doesn’t quite fit into the family yet. “Work. He said happy birthday though.”
We all make small talk and catch up on what everyone has been doing for the past month. Brooke has been working like crazy, making up for maternity leave. Dylan, Jax, and Luke have been working a lot of hours at the shop. Michael and Gabby are both on the honor roll at school. Alex is busy running her own salon and planning for her wedding that i
s scheduled for next year. I am very vague about my time so far in college.
Brooke takes a sip of her wine, “You could have invited Dani you know.”
“I did, but she actually has plans tonight.” She has a date with some guy from her economics class.
Luke scoffs, “Yeah, I’ll bet she does.”
I don’t take the bait, but I think he may know about Dani and Cam on Saturday. Just something about the way he said that makes me think I’m right.
“So, how is she doing in school?” That comes from Dylan.
“Great. She loves all of her classes.” And the guys she meets in them.
He nods his head at my answer. I’m trying to stay present in the conversation at dinner, but my mind is back in Manhattan with Hunter. I want to be that girl I was pretending to be when he asked if I was okay. I want to be able to say that it was just a really hot kiss and nothing else. That’s not really who I am though and I’m dying to know what Hunter’s other reasons for not being with me are.
After dinner, we have cake and I open up presents from everyone. I end up with some gift certificates to some of my favorite stores, perfume and a really pretty bracelet from Alex. Then the kids head to their rooms and Brooke puts Sylvie to bed.
It’s just the adults in the living room and I can’t believe I’m included in this group now. Alex plays with my hair as she sits on the couch next to Jax and Charlotte and I sit on the floor in front of her, “So how is living with your best friend?”
“It’s great. Dani and I are really similar so there aren’t any problems there.”
“That’s good. I loved living with my best friend until some asshole came out of nowhere and stole her from me.” She fake glares over at Dylan who is sitting next to Brooke on the love seat.
He tosses a pillow over at her, “Yeah well, you love me more than Brooke now.”
Brooke and Alex both roll their eyes at him and then Luke, who is sitting in the oversized chair with Hannah on his lap, says, “You better fucking not be similar to Dani.”
I look over at him. Okay that’s the second rude remark he’s made about her tonight, “So Cam told you what happened on Saturday?”
He shrugs and then Hannah sighs, “No, Vanessa told me and then I let it slip to Luke.”
Jax holds his hands up in mock horror, “Oh no, teenage drama!”
Dylan chuckles, “Oh shit, aren’t you guys too old for that?”
We are. I’m still looking over at Luke, “You can’t just blame Dani. Cam was there too.”
“Yeah well she’s gonna get a reputation if she doesn’t cool it. Or Vanessa is gonna kill her.”
I channel Dani’s feminism, “Cam sleeps with whoever he wants to and you aren’t worried about his reputation. So, what, Dani can’t sleep with whoever she wants just because she’s a girl?”
Alex turns to Luke and I see Charlotte and Brooke do the same. We all stare at him and wait for an answer. Jax offers advice, “Don’t answer that shit, man. It’s a trap.”
Dylan agrees and Luke mumbles, “Whatever.”
That’s classic Luke. It is bullshit though, he can’t just put the blame on Dani. They were both there.
Not long after that I say goodnight and head down to my old bedroom. I lie down on my bed and stare up at the ceiling, wondering what Hunter is doing right now. I can’t stop thinking about him. I want to kiss him again. I want to do so much more than that, but I know he won’t allow it. It all feels hopeless.
I drift off to sleep and when I wake up the next morning I have a nice breakfast with the family before getting ready for the day.
Hannah and I are going back this afternoon. She stayed the night at Luke’s like always, but they are both here by lunch time.
After lunch, Brooke and I clean up the kitchen and then her phone goes off. She looks at it, “Shit.”
“Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just have to go to the hospital to help someone out.”
I nod my head. It’s nothing new. Brooke’s job is very demanding and she’s devoted to it almost as much as to this family. “Well, I hope they are okay.”
She gives me a big hug, “I’m not sure if I’ll be back before you leave. Just take care of yourself okay?”
“I will. Don’t worry.”
“Well, let me know when you have some free time because Alex and I were talking about going there to visit you sometime.”
“That sounds great.”
I walk with her into the living room where she tells everyone she has to leave and gives Dylan and Sylvie a kiss goodbye. Dylan holds Sylvie’s hand up and waves goodbye to Brooke as she leaves. “Bye Mommy.”
She blows her a kiss and then closes the door behind her.
I sit next to Luke and Hannah who are on the couch. “She’s still really busy huh?”
Dylan nods and stretches his legs out in front of him, “Yeah, maternity leave was nice. I actually got to hang out with my wife.”
“I’m sorry. I know her job is hard.”
He shrugs, “We make it work. She’s here as much as she can be and she’s one hell of a mother.”
“Don’t have to tell me.”
Jax turns up the volume on the TV. Charlotte isn’t here this afternoon either. She has thrown herself into volunteering at a local shelter for abused women. It makes a lot of sense because she’s fully set up with a comfortable trust fund and she has a past with an abusive asshole ex-husband.
Luke claps his hands together, “Alright, let’s go State!”
It’s then that I notice what’s on the large television. Kansas State University is playing the University of Alabama today, in Alabama. I watch the screen as the players come out and the very first one dressed in a purple and white, form fitting uniform is none other than Hunter Thompson.
Damn. He looks good on TV. I’ve seen him in uniform several times and every time it just gets hotter. I watch as Cam struts out and a few other guys I recognize. I look over at Luke, “You think they will win?”
He slouches back, “It’s going to be a tough game. Both good teams.”
“I would think you would hate watching football now.”
Jax tears into a bag of chips and Luke shrugs his shoulders, “Why? I’m not the one who has to play anymore and follow all the bullshit rules. Besides I still want to support my teammates.”
I nod my head. Luke played football for as long as I can remember. He used to love it and I even saw a similar spark in his eye to Hunter’s when he played. It definitely faded in college though and he no longer played like he loved it. Watching Hunter play football is almost hypnotic. It’s easy to tell he has a love for the game and he doesn’t hold back.
Why can’t he be that way with me?
They are behind at the beginning of the fourth quarter, but only by one touchdown. I watch Hunter line up and the ball is snapped to him. Then out of nowhere a massive guy from the opposing team takes him out at the waist. They both go down and we all gasp in shock. That was a hard hit.
Luke leans forward staring at the TV, “Fuck! Where the hell was Cam?”
Cam didn’t block for him. I don’t know where his head was at, but he didn’t see that guy gunning right for Hunter.
Everything is in slow motion. The guy finally gets off of Hunter and I see Cam run over to him. Probably trying to make sure he’s okay. I say a silent prayer and finally breathe again when I see Hunter standing up. Him and Cam share some kind of look and I hear the announcer say, “He seems to be okay folks. Probably just got the wind knocked out of him. That is the first sack of the season for Thompson.”
Luke slouches back on the couch, “Hunt is gonna tear Cam a new one for that shit.”
Hannah leans her head on his shoulder, “He’s fine.”
“That was one hell of a hit and Cam always has his back.”
“Well he has a lot going on right now.”
I hear the simultaneous scoff from Dylan, Jax and Luke at that and then Jax says, “There are no excus
es in football. That could have fucked Hunter’s career if it would have been any worse.”
I didn’t even think about that. If Hunter gets hurt what would he do? His contract would be gone. Something tells me he wouldn’t handle that well. Cam is distracted from Vanessa, what if I’m messing with Hunter’s head.
Honestly, I think that may be wishful thinking on my part.
He probably hasn’t even given that kiss another thought.
Chapter 21
Hunter
This week is a bye week so there is no game. I’m actually grateful to have the entire weekend off after that loss last weekend in Alabama.
After I was crushed by the two-hundred-and-twenty-pound linebacker, the team as a whole just couldn’t get it together and pull off the win. We ended up losing by four points. I hate to lose, probably more than most people.
Cam has apologized several times since missing the block. I knew exactly what happened, he was distracted by everything that happened with Vanessa and Dani at our house. He tried to apologize to Vanessa, but she didn’t want to hear it.
Truth be told, he wasn’t the only one distracted during that game. My mind was on a beautiful blonde with big hazel eyes and maybe a little too much curiosity and honesty. I haven’t seen Cassie for almost two weeks, since we kissed in my bedroom.
That one kiss has destroyed me. I have never let myself be distracted by anything. It’s always been football first, no matter what. Even when Miranda cheated on me, I didn’t let it hurt my performance out on the field. I’m pissed off at myself for getting distracted now.
I just got back from class and the gym. I’m sitting in the living room, trying to relax after a long week on campus. All I can think about is that night. I lay my head back on the couch and close my eyes.
Everything replays in my mind. I see her, standing in my room and feel her hand on my arm as I’m about to leave. I knew I needed to get out of there. Being in a bedroom alone with Cassie was too much.
Then she leaned in close to me, way too close. I could smell the mint shampoo she uses and feel her lips nearly touch mine. I tried. I swear I fucking tried to move, but I just couldn’t. I tried to warn her away, but only her name would come out of my mouth.
