by Nicole Dykes
Before I could try to form an explanation as to why we needed to leave my room, her lips were on mine. I just stood there like an idiot as her mouth was plastered to mine. I knew I needed to stop it. I should have pulled away, but in that moment, it was all too much. Everything from that night ran through my mind.
All the pent-up emotions from hearing every detail about her sex life, her knowing mine and our talk alone outside, just bubbled up to the surface. Her hand was still on my shoulder and I just pulled her to me, my arm wrapped around her small waist.
She may have made the first move, but I was the one to intensify that kiss. I can still feel her body pressed against mine and I know she could feel how hard I was. I didn’t care.
Her hands ran through my hair and I pulled her body even closer to mine. As we moved toward my bed, my mind was screaming at me to stop, but every other part of me was begging to keep going. I wanted her. Hell, I’ve wanted her for a while now.
When I felt her hand go down to my jeans I wanted to let her do whatever she wanted to do with me. My cock was straining against my jeans so badly that it was painful. My conscience kicked in though. There was no way I could let it go any further and that’s when I stopped it.
She looked so hurt by my rejection, but I can’t be in a relationship with Cassie and I’ll be damned if I just use her for sex.
So now I’m just fucked. She’s in my head and I don’t think there is any way to get her out. I’ve been avoiding her since that night and I think she’s been doing the same.
Cam walks in through the front door and tosses his bag down on the ground by the door, “Good, you’re home. You gonna shower and change out of your gym clothes?”
I quirk an eyebrow in his direction, “I just got home. I’m not in a rush.”
“Well, we are going to a party. So, get your shit together.”
I shake my head, “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, we are. Come on man, I need to get out and it’s not like we have a game tomorrow.”
I stretch my arms above my head, my muscles sore from my workout. “So go out. I’m staying in.”
“You need to blow off some steam. After that loss last week we all do.”
I hate that loss being on my record. We’ve lost before, but the fact that my head wasn’t a hundred percent in the game is gnawing at me. “No, because blowing off steam to you means getting laid and I don’t feel like you trying to get me laid.”
He chuckles at that, “But it’s just so much fun to see how many hot chicks you can blow off in a night. And you’re always so polite about it.”
I have developed quite the technique to let girls know I’m not interested. “I’ll go for a little bit, if you knock it off for a night.”
He laughs, “Deal.”
I go into my room and shower and change into a t-shirt and jeans. I top it off with a K-state ballcap. Cam and I go to the party at one of the sororities across campus. I’m not sure why, but the entire time I’m looking over my shoulder hoping I don’t run into Cassie.
Or is the opposite and I’m hoping that I do?
I know that I can’t avoid her anymore. There’s no way I can just cut her out of my life. I care about her and I do want to be her friend. That’s all I can be.
The next morning after my mind clearing run I go into my bedroom and grab my cell phone. I sit down on my bed and send a text to Cassie.
Hunter: What are your plans for the day?
I know this is going to seem weird, just out of the blue, but I can’t take the radio silence anymore. We have to clear the air and I’ve never been one to just run away.
It doesn’t take as long as I thought it was before I receive a reply.
Cassie: No plans. Why?
Hunter: You ready for that PG rated tour of Manhattan?
We had discussed this for this weekend before that kiss.
Cassie: Of course. When?
I can’t believe she agreed to go. Especially that easily. Maybe she wasn’t lying to me when she said it was just a kiss and she was fine.
Hunter: Five?
Cassie: Tonight?
Hunter: Yes.
My heart is pounding way too fast as I wait for her answer.
Cassie: Okay. Where?
Hunter: I’ll pick you up. See you then.
When five o’clock finally gets here I pull up to Cassie’s dorm and see her sitting on a bench outside of her building. She waves at me and walks to my truck.
She looks carefree and happy, dressed in jeans and a button down hot pink shirt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows. Thank God, the weather is cooling down, because besides a hint of cleavage, she’s mostly covered. Part of me wonders how she is so calm.
She climbs into my truck and buckles up. Neither of us say a word while I pull out of the dorm. I hate this. Why didn’t I just keep going when I started to leave my room that night. Always go with your first instinct. It’s a rule that has gotten me far in football and it works for life in general.
She’s the one to break the silence, “So where are we going exactly?”
“I thought we could go to Nelson’s Landing to eat.”
I can see her nodding her head from my peripheral vision. “Okay, I’ve never heard of it.”
“It’s a little bit of a drive, not exactly in Manhattan, but I consider it a part of the town. Have you ever heard of Jordy Nelson?”
“The football player?”
I nod, “Yeah, he plays for the Packers now, but he started at K-State. His family owns the restaurant.”
“Can’t wait.”
She was upset when I stopped the kiss the other night and then oddly switched to brushing it off when I took her back to her dorm. At the time I thought it was just an act, but now she seems back to her old self.
Maybe it really didn’t bother her, like it did me.
How the hell did that kiss not get to her?
Chapter 22
Hunter
The drive to Nelson’s Landing wasn’t as quiet as I thought it would be. Cassie told me about going home to celebrate her birthday. She said everything was the exact same there. We talked about our classes and preparing for midterms that are coming up in a couple of weeks.
After two weeks of dead silence we have fallen right back into the friendship we had formed. Of course, neither one of us has brought up that kiss.
We pull up to the small restaurant and Cassie looks around, “Wow this is a really tiny town.”
I laugh, “Yeah, Luke actually found this place and Cam and I just kept coming back.”
We climb out of my truck and go inside, for a small town and a little restaurant it’s fairly packed. I smile when I see Angela and she makes her way over to us. She’s the hostess here and is in her early fifties.
She grabs me and gives me a big hug, like always. “Hunter Thompson. I was afraid you would never come back.”
I grin, “I’m sorry. I know it’s been a while. Place looks good.”
She looks around with pride, “Well, thank you. We do our best.” She notices Cassie standing nervously at my side, “And who is this pretty little thing?”
I gesture toward Cassie, “This is Cassie Monroe. Luke’s younger sister.”
I see a flicker of something in Cassie’s eyes when I say that, but can’t quite pinpoint it. Angela’s eyes go wide, “Luke Monroe? Oh wow, I do see the resemblance. It’s nice to meet you, I’m Angie.”
Cassie gives her a bright smile, “It’s nice to meet you too and please don’t judge me by my brother’s behavior. We’re totally different.”
That gets a chuckle from Angela who nudges me, “Oh I like her. So are you two dating?”
Cassie looks panicked and I shake my head, “No. I’m just giving her a tour. Cassie’s a freshmen. We’re just friends.” I see Cassie wince next to me. Shut the hell up Hunter. Each sentence just makes it worse. Maybe she isn’t as over it as she appeared.
Angela nods her head, “Ah, well you’d make an adorabl
e couple. Although, I’m sure Luke would have something to say about that, huh?”
Good ole’ Angela, she definitely doesn’t hold back. I just give her a tight smile and Cassie looks like she’s about to bolt.
Luckily, Angela grabs some menus and says, “Well, follow me. I’m assuming the usual table works?”
I nod as we follow her to the back of the restaurant where Cassie and I eat in total silence. Now this is how I thought it would be tonight.
Afterward we climb into my truck and I start it, but wait to leave. I turn to face Cassie, “Do you have time to go to one more place?”
She nods her head, hesitantly. I hope this is a good idea.
We drive back through Manhattan and to the other side of town. I turn off the highway and park my truck at the Flint Hills Scenic Lookout. It’s just an outdoor pavilion, with a couple of stone benches built in and information about the Flint Hills. We are the only ones here and the sun is about to set.
I look out the front window of my truck and see the sun with a mixture of pink, purple and blue as it sets over the horizon of the hills.
Cassie stays seated and then for the first time since I introduced her to Angela, she forms a full sentence. “Where are we?”
“It’s an observation point. People come out here to just stare at the scenery.”
She looks skeptical, but then climbs out of the truck and I follow her into the pavilion. She stares out at the hills, with the trees in the background. “We drive by the sign for this every time we come into town, what made you actually stop here?”
“I’m not sure really. My freshmen year, I had noticed it, but never paid attention. Then last year when I was coming back from Oklahoma, I just decided to stop. Now I come here a lot. It’s just really peaceful. Sometimes there are people here, but I like it best when no one else is around.”
She sits on the bench across from me. I’m sure she can still see the view from where she’s sitting. “I’m glad you’re okay.”
My head snaps over to her. “What?”
“After that sack, last Saturday.”
She’s talking about the game. I shrug, “That was nothing.” In all honesty, I was pretty sore for a few days after. It was a hard hit and one I didn’t see coming. I hesitated. I don’t know if anyone else saw it, but usually I’m really damn good at knowing exactly what I’m going to do. I always find my receiver and get rid of that damn ball. That day, I hesitated and paid for it.
“Luke thought you were going to be pissed at Cam.”
I walk over to the bench and sit next to her, being careful to leave some space between us. “It wasn’t just Cam’s fault, and besides we all miss sometimes.”
She smiles over at me and then her head slowly dips looking at the ground, “Do you think Cam’s mind was on Vanessa?”
Like my mind was on Cassie. “Yeah, maybe.”
She’s quiet for a minute and then her head pops up and she looks at me with fierce determination that scares the shit out of me. “Why did you stop kissing me?”
I stare at her, slightly stunned. “Cassie…”
“No, no bullshit reasons. I deserve to know. It’s driving me crazy. It’s not just my brother, so what? Is it an attraction thing?” Not even close. She continues before I can answer, “I heard Luke say you were a boob guy. Is that it, because I’m a C cup which honestly, is pretty damn big for my frame. Or you don’t like blonds? Is my ass too flat? Or…”
Shit. I can’t be thinking about her cup size or her ass. I place my hand on her knee to calm her, “No, Cassie. It’s not an attraction thing, okay? Believe me, you’re one of the most gorgeous women I’ve ever seen.”
She sighs, clearly frustrated. Okay, so it was all an act. Damn she’s way too good at that. “Then what?”
I don’t want to hurt her any more than I already have. “Cassie, it’s just a lot of reasons. None of them physical.”
A tear drops down from her eye and I swear it almost kills me. “I like you, Hunter. You’re just so different from anyone I’ve ever been around. You’re so nice to me and I feel like I can be me around you.”
“I like you too, Cassie.”
She sits up a little straighter and wipes her cheek with her hand, “But just as a friend.”
I nod, even though I know it’s a lie. “Yes.”
She doesn’t put on an act this time. Instead she gives me a weak smile, but still allows herself to look sad. “Well at least you proved my asshole theory wrong.”
I turn to look at her and her eyes lock with mine. “What do you mean?”
“You’re a nice guy and I’ve never been more turned on in my life than I was during that kiss the other night.”
Why did she have to say that? “Cassie…”
Her body moves closer to me on the bench so our thighs are touching. “Tell me that you didn’t feel it. Tell me that you can’t feel this spark between us when we’re together.”
I can’t say that. Remember that whole, ‘go with your first instinct’ thing? Maybe it isn’t always the best idea. I can’t take it anymore and I pull her into me, taking her face in my hands my lips go straight to hers.
She doesn’t pull away from me, instead her mouth opens for me and we engage in a kiss even more intense than the first one. Our tongues meld together as we devour each other. I feel her hands on my back and drop mine, slowly leaning her back on the bench so she is under me. We barely fit, lying on the hard bench, but neither object to the awkward position. I place my right hand under head to at least provide some comfort.
My hard cock settles between her legs and I hear her moan into my mouth. I move my lips down her neck and move my fingers of my free hand, to the top button on her shirt, easily undoing it. Then I unfasten the second and see the top of her perfect tits peeking out. How she could think she’s not my type I have no clue.
I move down her shirt and slowly unbutton all five of the buttons, opening it, exposing her to me. My mouth moves over the top of her breasts and then finds a hardened nipple through the lacy material of her bright blue bra. “Hunter, please don’t stop.”
Her voice is full of lust, but it’s that word that pulls me back. Stop. Even though she said ‘don’t stop’ the word makes me snap back to reality. What the fuck am I doing?
She looks up at me, “Please don’t pull away.”
I didn’t help her prove shit with her theory because she’s wrong, I am an asshole. “Cassie, I can’t be in a relationship with you.”
She bites her bottom lip, nervously and meekly asks, “Why?”
I owe her an explanation. “For most of my life, I’ve had a plan. Do good in school, get a football scholarship, get that college degree, and then get signed to the NFL. I’m so close to executing that plan.”
“And how would I mess that up?”
“Relationships mess that up. No matter what, they are messy and I’ll lose focus.” I already have. “I know, I’m an asshole for saying this, but it’s true. I meant what I said, I think you’re amazing, but I don’t think I’m the right guy for you.”
She looks like she wants to cry again and I pray that she doesn’t. She leans up so our chests are touching. Her lips brush mine, “Okay, so no relationship. I’m fine with that.”
I know what she is implying and it’s not fucking happening. “No.”
“No, what?”
“I’m not using you for sex Cassie. No fucking way. It never works, someone always gets hurt. Just ask your brother.”
I climb off of her, trying to lessen the temptation. I stand up, putting some distance between us. I can’t think when I’m that close to her. Cassie sits up, slowly from the bench. “I don’t get it. You were in a relationship with Miranda. She was a part of your plan.”
“And look how well that turned out for me.”
She looks hurt by my words, “You think I would cheat on you?”
I shake my head. She’s not Miranda. “No, I don’t. It’s just, Cassie you’re young.”
; She starts to fasten the buttons on her shirt. “I’m two years younger than you.”
“Exactly, you’re two years younger, a freshman in college. You should be using this time to figure out who you really are and what you want to do with your life. When I’m in a relationship, I’m in it for the long haul. You shouldn’t be tied down to someone with a life plan before you know what you want. You can’t live your life for someone else, Cassie.”
“So, you just think I’m too immature for you. You’re perfect Hunter Thompson with a whole life plan and I’m just the flaky, dumb ex-cheerleader who never thinks anything through.”
“That’s not what I said. You aren’t dumb, no part of me thinks that shit. I think you have things you need to figure out. Which is what college is for.”
She buttons the last button and then stands up, “Is that all?”
“Is what all?”
“You won’t be with me because of Luke and because I’m immature, but are you sure there isn’t something else bothering you?” I study her, trying to figure out where she is going with this before she asks, “Do you want a virgin, someone who has never been with anyone else?”
I stare at her blankly. How can she think that? “Cassie, I don’t care about that.”
She’s standing only a few inches from me now, “I’m a big girl, Hunter. You can tell me the truth. It’s what I’ve thought your reasons were since our first kiss. You’ve been with one girl. A girl who you thought would be your first and last, am I right?”
I nod. I really did think that at the time. It was naïve, but I thought Miranda would eventually become my wife and that would be it for me. I was fine with that notion. “Yes, but that doesn’t mean I only want a virgin. I couldn’t care less about that.”
“Bull. You have to. I mean you are this guy with high morals, who hasn’t been with anyone for a year because you don’t fuck if you aren’t in an actual relationship. Admit it, my stories of the guys I’ve been with, they bothered you. I’m dirty in your eyes.”
I grip her shoulders lightly, trying to get this point across, “Cassie, I don’t give a fuck if you’ve been with three guys or three hundred. You are not dirty. And the only thing that bothered me about the things you told me was the way they acted. That they fucking hurt you.”
