Unworthy Of You (The Spring Rose Bay Series Book 2)

by K. L. Jessop

  Home…

  There’s a place I miss. The repairs are going better than Neil expected, so it shouldn’t be too long before I can go back, but that doesn’t stop me missing my home comforts. Even though Andrew told me to make myself at home at his, I can’t. How can I when he shuts himself away either in his office of his bedroom as though he doesn’t want me being there?

  His curt reply to me text earlier has played on my mind all day and dampened my mood by the hour. It deteriorated when he returned home from work and hardly said a word. Our night of passion has well and truly left his thoughts.

  He’s hit me harder than any man has ever had the power to and has suffocated me with feelings I’ve never experienced before. Men were just a time-killer to pass away the hours of another lonely weekend—a quick fix to a problem I now know runs far deeper than I imagined. Sex was just a mask to cover the void I carry, only I was to blind to see it. With Andrew, it’s different. I don’t just want sex: I want him, because when he’s close, my heart feels full and I’m struggling to understand the feelings that consume me.

  Jesus get a grip, Megan, this isn’t you talking.

  Trying to distract my thoughts of Andrew I think about Lucas, wondering what he’s doing all those miles away. As a kid, this would be the time where I would go to him, tell him my problems or if I generally lost my way a little. He’s the same with Amelia. When she came into my life, he took her on as if she were our sister, granted her the nickname Ginger Spice because of her red hair and made her a place on the bed next to us while we laid together eating cold pizza, watching our favourite chick flicks.

  I miss those days.

  Wanting to hear his voice, I call him.

  “You are calling me instead of using Skype. Who died?”

  I laugh. “No one, I just wanted to talk. Did I wake you?”

  “No. I’ve not actually been to bed yet. You ok?”

  I bring my legs up on the bench close to my chest, hoping the action will fade this insecure feeling I have inside. “Yeah, fine.”

  “And I’ve told you before, you’re shit at lying.” His concern generates unexpected tears to sting my eyes. I can’t tell him the reason behind them. Lucas is very protective over the women in his life. If I told him they are because of a man, he’d drop whatever it is he’s doing and be on the next flight ready to blow the guy’s balls off.

  “I’ve just been having one of those days and not having you or Amelia here makes it harder.”

  There’s silence. He knows I’m still talking crap, but he goes with it anyway. “Are you on your period?”

  I roll my eyes. “No.”

  “Just checking. I know you go all bat-shit-crazy when that comes around.”

  “Jesus, I’m not that bad.”

  “Ha! You’re our mother’s daughter; trust me you’re bad.”

  “Ass.” I grin.

  “When is our Ginger Spice home?”

  “Not for another week.” The thought of being around Andrew without her or Marcus to distract me isn’t going to be easy. The man’s a walking contradiction. One minute I’m his weekend fuck trophy then next I’m back to being shit on his shoe.

  Fuck I’m so confused.

  “I so need a hug from you right now.”

  “No, you need Tequila and to dance it out.”

  “True.” I sigh, rising from the bench to walk back as the late-night air makes me shiver. A bottle of Tequila sounds very tempting, even for a work night. “But I also need a hug. I’ve not had a ‘big brother hug’ in so long; my heart is feeling a little lost,” I tease.

  “If you’re trying to make me feel like shit because I’ve not moved over yet, it’s working.”

  “It’s meant to,” I smile.

  “Now who’s being the ass?” he chuckles. “Just you wait. A long-awaited bedroom party with my two-favourite blue-eyed girls is at the top of my list.”

  “My God, that sounds so wrong!” I giggle.

  “Made you laugh though, huh?”

  “You always know how to make me feel better.”

  “It’s part of my duty.” There’s a grin behind his words. “So, now that I’ve put a smile on your face, I can end the call?”

  My eyebrows draw. “I guess so why?”

  “Because I’ve got a pretty girl at my door and my cock needs her mouth around it.”

  “You’re fucking disgusting.”

  I cut off his outburst of laughter and try to wash the inappropriate image from my mind as I head to Rubies. Jack is working the bar and I manoeuvre myself around dancers and male bodies to get to him.

  “Hey, pretty girl, what brings you out this time of night, and on a school night?” he asks.

  “I’m living on the edge,” I grin. “Tequila please.” Jack sorts my drink as I scan the room looking for the one person that’s normally at his side. “Is Felicity not here?”

  “She went home early as she felt unwell.”

  Jack and Felicity are good friends and recently moved in together to save on money. With them living two houses down from each other and Felicity never at her place because she is always with Jack, it made sense they shared.

  Everyone can see a potential relationship between them that they’re yet to even acknowledge.

  “So where is Andrew tonight? He’s not been in since he went all ninja the other night.”

  “I’m not wanting to talk of him. He is depressing and we are not.”

  Jack raises his eyebrows. “Alright, what do you want to talk about?”

  “I want to know if by any chance there’s a woman sharing your bed tonight?”

  He grins, knowing where I’m going with this. “Only a blonde chick with a cracking ass you may be familiar with.”

  Jack’s always had a thing for my ass. “Room for a little one?”

  He knows me well enough to understand what I’m after, but that doesn’t stop him teasing. “Are you wanting me to love you all night long?” he winks.

  “No, but a movie and a takeout sounds good.”

  “Then do you want me to love you all night long?” his grin is wicked.

  “No sex. I just need your strong arms to hold me.”

  “Then I’m your guy.” He leans over the bar to kiss my forehead. “We’d best not spoon; that ass does crazy shit to my cock.”

  I throw my head back with a laugh, and taking my drink I head to the dance floor to fall into the world of music.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Andrew

  I’ve decided it’s time to get my shit together. It’s been almost week since I spent the night with Megan, and I’ve purposely been keeping my distance in the hope that once our night was over I’d be able to concentrate with work as she’d be out of my system, but the more I’m away, the more I ache for her again.

  The memory of her on me hasn’t faded and I don’t want it to. She’s made me feel fucking fantastic, and at first I struggled to get my head around that. Those few hours of her laid on me while she slept where incredible. In those few hours, she had the ability to invade my mind with thoughts that were different to the ones I deal with daily and it scared me. She’s fucked with my head more than I thought she would, and I’m beginning to like it.

  My feet sink into the golden sand of Marbles Cove as the sun warms the bare skin of my chest. Marcus sent me a text earlier with strict orders to come just after noon. He and Amelia are yet to return from their business trip, and although I’m intrigued about this meeting point, I also have my suspicions on why he chose it. He’s bought a boat.

  My heart rate picks up when I see Megan; she’s already arrived. Laid on her stomach in a bikini top and Demin shorts, she’s reading a magazine while her upper body moves to the beat of the music that’s coming through the ear buds of her iPod. I smile at the fact she is oblivious to the rest of the world, lost in music like usual.

  She jolts when I touch her shoulder and takes out her ear buds.

  “Mind if I join you?”

  Her
eyebrows rise. “Depends if you’re going to be an arsehole. Although on second thoughts, I guess I should be grateful you’re actually wanting to sit beside me.”

  I bite back a grin and layout beside her. It’s things like her sassy mouth that keep me wanting her. “Did you get a text from Marcus too?” I ask.

  “No, Amelia. She tried to act all mysterious regarding why we had to meet here, but I know it’s because Marcus has finally bought a boat.”

  “You think?” Marcus had said last summer that once he moved here permanently, he wanted to buy one.

  “Like I said, I don’t think, I know.”

  I can’t keep my eyes from her. I want to reach out and touch the bare skin of her back; lace my fingers through her hair. It’s little things that fascinate me about Megan, like the blue heart sunglasses that she wears when most women would choose to wear more up-market, fashionable ones, and the thin gypsy-style rings that’re on her thumb and forefinger. She’s different to the women I’d usually go for yet still has an element of class.

  She frowns at her magazine and I’m intrigued to know what’s caught her interest. “What are you reading?”

  “An article about the best implements to use for male castration at home. I figured I’d get some tips with being around you and all.”

  I raise my eyebrows and grin. “So, I should be worried?”

  “Keep on being a prick and I’d say yes.”

  I chuckle. You see what I mean? Sassy.

  She’s still not looked at me, but her lip curves slightly as she tries to hide her amusement.

  “I never had you down as a reader.”

  “Bet you never had me down as a baker either?”

  Now I am totally surprised. In the last few minutes, I’ve learnt things about her that I would have known originally had I not continued to shut her out. Although, on the other hand, it’s Megan; she rarely shows anyone anything other than her exceptional techniques in table dancing and Tequila slammers. “You bake?”

  “Believe it or not, Andrew, just because I like a good party doesn’t mean I don’t know my way around a kitchen. Trust me when I say I make the best chocolate brownies that you’ll ever get your mouth around.”

  “You’ll have to make me some.”

  “Oh, I will, because if the castration doesn’t work I’ll need to poison you.”

  I laugh harder this time. She’s like a breath of fresh air this woman and never fails to take me to a place of contentment.

  She changes position and sits up to cross her legs, turning her body so she’s facing me sideways. When she removes her shades, there’s an emotion in her eyes that makes my gut twist, and her voice just a murmur. “You confuse me, Andrew. I never know where I am with you.”

  I’m ashamed of myself. I’ve treated her badly and no doubt made her feel used. She doesn’t deserve that; she deserves honesty, as I would in her situation. I look up at her, pleading once again for her forgiveness.

  “I know.”

  “Just because we had sex, doesn’t mean that you have to shut yourself off completely.”

  “I know.” I sigh, looking towards the water and feeling like the arsehole she’s always said I’ve been.

  “Talk to me, Andrew. Help me understand what’s going on.”

  How can I give her what she’s after when I’m unsure of it myself? “I don’t know where I am with myself, Megan.”

  Her eyebrows narrow. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean I don’t know who I am anymore. I lost all traces of who I was years ago, but these last few weeks have been different, they seem… easier. Because of you.”

  “Are you saying treating me like crap makes your life easier?”

  “No. No that’s not what I’m saying.” I pinch the bridge of my nose.

  Fuck, this is hard.

  “Yes, I deliberately treated you like it in the beginning because I had this fucked up idea that if I made you hate me it would somehow protect you from feeling like you are now, and in return, you wouldn’t want to be around me, which would be better for me because I’d be able to control my—”

  “Desire to have me?”

  “Exactly.” I look at her. “I’m sorry. I hate to use the cliché but it’s not you it’s me. It’s all me. Every fucked-up part of this is down to me.” I’m surprised how open I am with her. I’m seriously misunderstood when it comes to women. Just by looking at them, I instantly become the bad guy whether I intend to be or not; that’s partly why it is so easy to be an ass where Megan is concerned. Then, she makes me feel guilty by looking at the way she is now.

  “Why have you stuck around, Megan, when I’ve treated you the way I have?”

  She smiles softly. I seriously don’t deserve her friendship.

  “Because believe it or not, I know there's a good guy underneath that shitty attitude of yours. He just needs to show it more.”

  “I’m trying.”

  “Try harder.”

  I will. I’ll try and do anything for her. I smile. “So are we still friends?”

  Her eyes go big and her hand flies to her chest in some overdramatic pose. “Friends? You want to be my friend? Holy shit what an honour.”

  I grin at her sarcasm, taking the back of her neck to pull her down and kiss her forehead, resting mine on hers. I wonder if she even realises that I’ve crept into her room and kissed her goodnight every night for the past few nights while she’s slept in that huge bed—wondered if I’m in her dreams as much as she’s in my thoughts. She's breaking every inch of me: the good, the bad and my ugly. But at the same time, I don’t want to keep fighting with my feelings. She’s an addiction, and one I don’t think I can or should ignore anymore.

  “I’ve not stopped thinking about you,” I whisper.

  “I’ve been the same.”

  “Maybe we should do something about that.”

  “But you said it was for one night.”

  “I think we both know that is never going happen. need more.” I press my lips to hers and that ache of solitude disappears in an instance when I find her tongue. Her grip on my arm is just as strong as I remember and I’d happily make love to her on this golden sand if she’d let me, but a noise from ahead cuts through the soft waves.

  I groan at the loss of her contact. “We’ve got company.”

  She grins. “Told you he’d got a boat.”

  I help Megan on her feet and we head down to the water where a crystal whiter cruiser heads towards the shore. “God, I can’t wait to hug that ginger beauty,”

  A slight wave of panic washes over me. Did Amelia know about us? Did I want her to? “Megan, do they…?”

  “Andrew, take that look off your face. I’ve said anything.”

  I’m grateful, considering how close the girls are. I’m trying to get my own head around this; I don’t need others interfering too.

  A familiar voice shouts and a third person comes into view on the cruiser. “Yoohoo! Hi, honey, I’m home!”

  “Is that… Is that Rosa?” Megan asks.

  My grin widens as Rosa climbs up on top of the boat hood, waving her arms in the air as though she’s trying to make a plane land. “It sure is. I’ll recognise that oversized sunhat any day.”

  “Oh, my God. This summer just got a whole lot more interesting!” Megan shrieks as she runs towards the water, jumping the soft waves as though they are huge and screaming in excitement as Amelia and Rosa do the same from afar. I can’t help but laugh at all of them, but my eyes are only on one person.

  Yeah, this summer definitely just got more interesting.

  ***

  “Andrew, sweetheart. How are you? I see your face is just as handsomely miserable as the last time I saw you last.” Rosa beams as she walks towards me. I open my arms out and accept her invitation of a hug.

  “Good to see you again, Rosa. You’ve been missed.”

  “I’ve missed these bad boys,” she says squeezing my biceps. “I’ve often dreamt of them.”

 
“Mother.” Marcus warns.

  “What, dear? Andrew knows I’m only messing.” She moves in to whisper. “Let me know when you work out next; I’d love to sit and watch,” she winks, playfully.

  “Christ, I knew it was a bad idea you coming back with us; not even a minute in and you’re on fine form.”

  I laugh it off. Rosa is a queen when it comes to winding Marcus up with her flirting, and he falls for it every time.

  “How’s it going dickwad?” Marcus asks, slapping me on the back. “Jesus, am I glad to see you. A few hours on board a boat with those two with nowhere to run is mentally challenging.”

  “You wouldn’t want them any other way.” I smile.

  “I’m sorry. Have you not met my mother?” He lifts a brow. “So, how’s work? Do I still have a hotel standing?”

  “You want to talk about work when there’s that up ahead? Fuck that.”

  He looks shocked and I’m waiting for some sarcastic remark, which I know I’m about to get when his grin widens.

  “Shit, man it’s taken a boat to get your mind off work? Next time I’ll buy a plane. With any luck, one look at that and you’ll want to get laid.”

  If only you knew.

  I glance over at Megan who has her back to me, her perfect ass filling the denim of her shorts and exposing long tanned legs. Jesus, I can’t wait to have her again. “Well, are you going to introduce me to your new toy or what?”

  “Dude, she is no toy; she is simply my baby.” He starts to walk toward the wooden pier at the far end of the beach.

  “I thought Amelia was your baby?”

  “No, she is my queen.”

  I’m instantly in love. The two-stateroom cruiser is everything and more: a glossy white and silver exterior and nothing but cream leather and cherry wood inside. “My God, you can live in here,” I say, trailing my fingers along the curved cabin sofa.

  “I know, right. And let me tell you, it is no lie when I say this baby glides like pure sex.”