If You Fight (Corrupted Love Book 2)
Page 10
For a long moment, my father simply looked at me like he didn’t know what to say. Maybe he thought I didn’t know, or maybe that look signaled his disbelief that I had actually admitted the truth about Ryder and me right there to his face. Whatever the reason, my admission stunned him for a second.
Far calmer than just a minute before, he said, “I told him the night I brought him here he wasn’t to touch either one of you girls. He’s lucky I didn’t beat him before today for what he’s done.”
“He hasn’t done anything wrong. He’s saved my life every day for months. He had to watch me marry another man and still loved me as much as I love him.”
“Love? Is that what you think this is between you two? You have no idea who he is, Serena. You’re so naïve. Who do you think is the person I turn to when I usually want someone beaten like that? Who do you think takes care of the Olivers in this world for me? Your beloved Ryder.”
He smirked like anything he said could surprise me. I knew who Ryder was. I’d known for a long time. The girl who watched him wide-eyed and infatuated as he lifted weights in those days right after he came to the house had disappeared when she was sent away. I knew from the moment I saw him dressed in a suit and working as one of my father’s men who he was.
And I loved him anyway.
“I know all about Ryder. I’m not a little girl anymore, Dad. I’ve lived my life surrounded by your men. You didn’t think I knew what you’d made him into when I came back here and saw him working for you?”
My father snorted in disgust as he sat down behind his desk again and reached for his glass. “What I made him into. You have no idea, Serena. He was an animal long before I found him.”
I braced my hands on the back of the chair in front of me and felt the coolness of the leather against my palms. “I know what he was then too. I know everything about him, and I still love him. So I won’t allow him to be beaten again.”
Grinning that crocodile smile I hated, he said, “Well, I’ll do you one better. I won’t have to beat him again because he won’t be with you ever again.”
Just hearing him threaten that made my heart skip a beat. My mouth grew dry at the mere thought of losing Ryder, but I stayed strong and said, “You won’t do that or you’ll never see me again, Dad.”
“I know you, Serena. Your heart will keep you here for him because you’ll need to find a way to keep being with him. You’re like your mother that way. Always the dreamy-eyed romantic.”
He stared up at me like he’d uttered something that would stun me, but those days were long gone. “I’ll leave here faster than you can even imagine and never look back. And he’ll come find me because he loves me as much as I love him. Never underestimate the power two people can have when they join together, Dad. You can either agree to what I want or never see me again. That’s my final offer.”
My father slowly lifted his glass to his mouth and sipped his drink before taking a deep breath. “So those are your terms? I’m to just allow you and Ryder to be together?”
“And to make sure you never hurt him again, I want him as my bodyguard. He’ll work for me from now on.”
Shaking his head, he frowned. “No. Ryder is mine. I brought him here and he works for me.”
I knew he likely wouldn’t relent on my demand that Ryder be my guard, but I still had to try. That didn’t mean I planned to just give in, though. If I didn’t stand my ground now, my father would think he won.
So I turned and began walking toward the door. “Goodbye, Dad.”
I took two steps before he gave in to my bluff. “I won’t stop him from being with you, but he answers to me. He stays as one of my men.”
The slight shaking in his voice told me he believed he could lose both me and Ryder if he didn’t agree to us together, but I still worried about what he’d do in retaliation to the man I loved. My father didn’t give in easily, so he must have something on his mind that could hurt Ryder.
I slowly turned around and tilted my chin up. “He’s never to be hurt again. If he is, I swear to God my leaving will be the least of your problems.”
The crocodile smile returned, like he’d won something in our test of wills. I had a feeling this wouldn’t be the last time we faced off like this, but for now, I’d take what I’d gotten.
He took another sip of his drink and folded his arms across his chest. “You’re so much like your mother, Serena. Everything is about love. I’d hate to see your life turn out like hers.”
I knew a threat when I heard one, but Ryder wasn’t like my father and I wasn’t like my mother.
“Janelle is more like Mom, to be honest. I think I’m more like you, Daddy. In fact, if I were you, I’d worry about that.”
His smile faded away, and I left him sitting behind his desk as he opened up his laptop again. Ryder and I had won. For now. But I wasn’t a fool. Good rarely won out over evil in Robert Erickson’s world.
I knew that all too well.
But as I walked back to Ryder’s apartment, my hands shaking after all that had happened, I swore my father wouldn’t do to me what he’d done to my mother and sister.
Chapter Eleven
Ryder
The throbbing in my head felt like someone with a jackhammer tunneling into my fucking brain. I’d been beaten up before, but now I didn’t seem to be getting any better and it had been nearly twelve hours since Robert and his goons had fucked me up.
Curious about the time, I tried to sit up to turn the light on so I could find my phone, but halfway there I had to lie back down. Even if my head wasn’t banging like a bass drum, my broken ribs weren’t going to let me just move around willy-nilly for a while.
Through my one eye I could actually open, I looked around for Serena but didn’t see her. Had she left? Or had Robert done something to her too?
A sudden rush of terror raced through me, and I tried to sit up again to go find her. I couldn’t let him hurt her. Sharp pain stabbed at my sides, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered if he hurt her like he’d hurt me.
Staggering to my feet, I steadied myself and tried to see in front of me, but with one eye only half working, seeing much of anything wasn’t happening. With my first step, I grazed the corner of the coffee table with my shin, and another level of pain added to the rest I felt. I didn’t care. As long as I found Serena, I didn’t care how much it hurt.
Every movement of my body resulted in new agony, but I made it to the door. Exhausted from just crossing the room, I sagged against the wall as my brain urged my body on and my heart seconded the idea, but my body couldn’t follow through.
I stood there wanting to run to Serena’s apartment to see if she was there and safe, and all I could do was hold myself up and pray to God my legs didn’t give out and send me crashing to the floor.
What if he did something to her? I’d seen Robert exact his revenge on others before me. Ruthless only scratched the surface of what he was to people who betrayed him, and that was exactly what he believed she’d done by having me take care of Oliver. He wouldn’t just let her get away with it. He never did.
Even I would get more than just the beating he’d had those guys give me. This was only the beginning. I knew that, and I could handle it. Whatever he did, I’d deal with it.
But Serena had already had to deal with too much. She didn’t deserve having more misery piled on top of what she’d gone through with Oliver. I wouldn’t let Robert hurt her anymore.
The sound of footsteps outside my door brought me back to the pain torturing my body, and I waited to hear a knock on the door. Instead, it opened and I saw Serena walk in.
“Ryder, I’m back,” she whispered softly as she headed toward the couch.
“Serena, I’m right here,” I croaked out behind her.
She spun around and stared at the door. “Where? I just came in. Where are you?”
“Right here. Next to the door.”
“What are you doing off the couch?” she asked as she came t
oward me and took me in her arms.
God, she felt so good. “I didn’t know where you went, so I wanted to go find you to make sure you’re okay. Where were you?”
She began to walk me back into the living room. “Lean on me. Let’s get you to the bed so you can lie down.”
Ten agonizing steps later and I was flat on my back in my bed. Serena brought me a glass of water, but all I wanted was more whisky. Water wouldn’t touch the pain, but whisky would at least deaden it a little.
“You need to drink something, Ryder,” she said as she tried to position the glass near my mouth.
I pushed it away. “I need to drink something that’s going to take the edge off. Water won’t do that.”
She sighed and frowned before putting the glass on the night table. “You shouldn’t have gotten up. You probably made things worse for yourself.”
“All I could think about was finding you and making sure he didn’t hurt you too.”
“He wouldn’t do anything like this to me. My father’s brand of torture for me runs in a different direction,” Serena said as she cradled my cheek.
“Did he do something?”
I knew he eventually would. It was just a matter of time.
Shaking her head, she leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. “He tried, but don’t worry. It’s all good now.”
Serena had a way of seeing goodness where none existed. Nothing was all good now, except her with me. Everything else was shit, just like it always had been.
“What did he try? Did he say he was going to send you away or was it me this time?”
“Shhhh. I don’t want to talk about this now. All I want to do is take care of you like you’ve always taken care of me when I needed it. I think I might have some painkillers in my room at the house. I can go get them so at least the worst of it will disappear.”
She moved to leave and I caught her by the arm. “No. Don’t go. The pain’s not too bad now. I’d feel better if you stayed right here.”
Leaning over, she turned on the light next to the bed. As soon as I saw her eyes open wide, I knew how bad I looked. I’d seen myself a few hours after fights. Even after those I’d won, I sometimes looked pretty fucked up.
“It’s okay, Serena. It looks much worse than it really is. I’ll be fine,” I said in an attempt to reassure her even as the pain in my ribs brought tears to my eyes.
“Oh, Ryder. I’m so sorry. I promise this will never happen again,” she said, fighting back her own tears.
I pulled her mouth to mine and kissed her again. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep.”
“But I can,” she said with the kind of smile that never failed to melt my heart.
“No, you can’t. Your father isn’t going to just let me go on this. Not this time. I’m worried what he’s going to do to you too.”
“He’s not going to do anything. He’s sworn to me that he won’t ever do this to you again, and he’s accepted us together. So, you see, you don’t have to worry. It’s going to be okay.”
I couldn’t believe my ears. Robert accepted that Serena and I were together? No way.
Looking up at her face so filled with optimism, I hated that I had to doubt her, but I knew him all too well. Whatever he’d said, he wasn’t good with me being with Serena, and things were definitely not okay.
“What did he say and how exactly did he say it?”
She smiled and shook her head, like my questions were mere silliness. “Do you think I honestly don’t know my father, Ryder? I’ve lived with him all my life. Long before you got here, I saw exactly the kind of man he was. I’m not naïve. I know not to trust everything he says, but I’m telling you he’s accepted us together and promised you’d never go through this again.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Because if he didn’t, he was going to lose both of us, and he knew that. I’d leave and then you’d leave to be with me. My father is a lot of things, but he’s not stupid. He knew when I said I’d leave this place if he didn’t promise me you’d be safe that I wasn’t bluffing.”
I still didn’t believe Robert had accepted anything. It wasn’t in his nature.
“Was he smiling when he said he was okay with me and you together? Because if he was, I’m guessing I’ll be dead by tomorrow morning and you’ll be locked away in some home by the end of the week,” I said sadly.
My question made her giggle. “You mean that smile he wears when he looks at you like you’re prey?”
I nodded, surer than ever that nothing was okay. “The crocodile smile. It’s the one he puts on right before he devours another person’s soul.”
“He might have been smiling, but it’s going to be fine, Ryder. I even tried to get him to let you be my bodyguard instead of working for him, but that’s where he put his foot down. I did get the promise that he’d never hurt you again and you and I could be together, so all in all, I think negotiations went pretty well, don’t you?”
Never before had I seen Serena so confident about anything concerning Robert. I still worried he’d do something to us, but for the moment, at least she looked happy.
“So he knows we’re in love?”
She kissed me again and whispered against my lips, “Madly, truly, and completely in love.”
I cupped the back of her head to keep her there and kissed her again, this time sliding my tongue into her mouth. She moaned softly and teased my tongue with the tip of hers before sucking it between her lips.
“We’re going to be fine, Ryder.”
“I wish I could believe he was okay with us together like you do.”
“No more talk about him tonight. I want to take care of you, so what do you need? Just tell me and I’ll get it for you.”
“Nothing. Just stay here,” I said as I pulled her close to me. “I just want to lay here with your head on my shoulder like we used to back when I was in the guest room.”
She lay down beside me and carefully positioned herself next to my body so she could do as I wanted. The gentle scent of her shampoo filled my nose, and I stroked her hair, loving the feel of her there with me. If only we could stay there and never have to leave that room again, we’d be safe.
“I love you, Ryder, and I’m so happy we don’t have to hide anymore. Everything’s going to be okay. We don’t even have to leave now. We can just be together right here.”
My heart sank. Maybe we would be okay, but the dream of leaving had been with me for so long that hearing we never would made me sad.
And I didn’t believe for a second that staying at that house would ever end up good for us.
“You don’t want to go anymore?” I asked as disappointment settled into my brain.
She heard it in my voice and looked up at me. “All I ever wanted was to be with you. Now that we can be, we don’t have to go anywhere. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“That means I’ll have to keep working for your father. Are you okay with that, with who I have to be in his world?”
I watched the hopefulness dim in her dark eyes and knew the answer. The problem was she didn’t even know all of what I’d had to become just to fulfill Robert’s orders. She thought I was some thug, but I was so much more than that.
So much worse.
“I love you, Ryder. I don’t care what you are for him or what you’ve had to do. I only care that you love me.”
“You once asked me what kind of father our child would have when you found out I was the one who killed Oliver’s brother. Now you’re okay with me being that man?” I asked, afraid of her answer but needing to know.
She looked away and lowered her head. “I didn’t mean it that way.”
“What way, Serena? I’m that same man lying here now who was standing in that room with you that day. I’m exactly what you thought I was.”
“I don’t want to talk about this now,” she said and shook her head. “Whoever you have to be to the rest of the world doesn’t matter. I know who you are.”
/> I tilted her chin up so she faced me. “Who am I, Serena? What do you think working for him has made me?”
Her dark eyes turned a watery brown, but she didn’t look away. “I know what you do. What you’ve done. What you’ll have to do in the future if we stay here. I don’t care. All I care about is that you love me and I love you. That’s all that matters.”
“Why do you want to stay here now? If I’m going to have to still be that man, I need to know why.”
She said nothing for a long moment and winced like what she had to say hurt her, but then she said quietly, “I want to find my mother. If I find her, we can go. I promise. I just can’t leave here knowing she’s out there somewhere and the minute I go he’ll hurt her.”
From that first night I met her, Serena had never given up on seeing her mother again. I’d never heard Robert refer to her even once, and I wondered if she was even still alive. He’d used hurting her as a threat nearly every time he wanted to control Serena, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t bluffing.
“Did he say something about her today?”
“No. For the first time, he didn’t threaten to hurt her if I left. I think he knows that won’t work with me anymore.”
“Why?”
She took a deep breath and let it out slowly before laying her head back down on my shoulder. “Because I’m not afraid of him anymore.”
I closed my eyes and hoped everything she believed would come true. That Robert was okay with us together and I wouldn’t have to endure another beating. That he saw her strength and respected it. That we would be safe.
But my gut said none of that would ever happen.
Chapter Twelve
Ryder
I sank into the hot water until it covered up to my chest and closed my eyes as the heat slowly eased my pain. More than a week after Robert had me beaten like a misbehaving dog, my side still ached every time I moved, but the rest of my injuries had begun to ease up and my face didn’t look like the Elephant Man’s anymore.