FRENCHY II : Having a Blast

by George Olney

  Then a malicious thought struck her. "So, Justa, since you know so much about Fuzzy's people, do you want to share a room?"

  Justa gave her a look that was pure poison, even as she blushed. "I studied the culture. I didn't participate in it."

  Fuzzy looked puzzled. Frenchy looked at her with a touch of sympathetic friendliness, thinking back to the strippers she used to work with and the way women like Justa thought of them. "Don't worry, Fuzzy. You're okay in my book." She looked away momentarily then caught the girl's mouth opening out of the corner of her eye. "And you don't have to say anything back!"

  Fuzzy shut up.

  Frenchy studied the girl critically. With the flower and barely-there sarong, Fuzzy turned from a walking mantrap into a walking, devastating mantrap. Frenchy decided that, if the girl wanted a flower lei, their proposed shopping trip was going to get her flowers to make one. Plenty of flowers. Big ones.

  The sound of the communicator broke into her reverie. When Frenchy answered, the man on the holo screen was a member of the Arm's unformed branch. "Oh, hang on. I'll get Grae."

  The trooper stopped her. "Excuse me, Cadet Kwaakani. You're the one I need to talk to."

  "Me?"

  "Yes. One of our patrol ships just landed, and they captured an illegal slaver during the cruise. There were only a few captives on board, most of whom we can handle routinely. We have a problem with one of the women, though. She was picked up on XB734. It's currently on the restricted access list, so we can't just take her back. Sector Office said to send her to you, since you're from that world. Your orders are to temporarily care for her until we can run her through Familiarization and get her to accept resettlement on one of the Federation worlds. Any questions?"

  "WHAT THE HELL?"

  Frenchy blew her stack. "Look, Jack, do you realize I just picked up two other strays last night? Now you want me to take in one more?"

  The man smiled with painful sympathy. "Sorry, Cadet. That's orders."

  Frenchy was just getting wound up again when the man quickly cut the connection. Damned coward. She still had a lot more to say to him. Orders be damned. Somebody was about to get an earful, if she could just remember who to get hold of over this little fiasco.

  Then she cooled down and thought a moment, remembering her own introduction to Galactic civilization, via Grae. Screw it. At least she could make it easier for the girl.

  She looked at Justa and Fuzzy on the living room couch, carefully not looking at her with the expressions of people trying to avoid the attention of a raving maniac. Oh, hell, she thought, what was one more? "Ladies, we're going to be delayed in having breakfast. We're still going on our shopping trip, but it seems someone else is invited."

  It was only a few moments more before the house signaled that a skimmer was on final approach to the landing stage. When Frenchy opened the door, the Arm skimmer was already down and a uniformed trooper was approaching the house. "Cadet Kwaakani?" she asked.

  Frenchy nodded then looked past the woman as a bare leg extended itself out the skimmer's open door. Nude? Damn it! Didn't these people have the common decency to give a refugee some clothing? Nuts! On Earth, at least you got a blanket when you were rescued. Sure, these people didn't see clothing as any form of necessity. Hell, people walked around the streets nude every day, but that wasn't the way you did it at home. That poor, confused, frightened girl wouldn't understand that attitude. Hell, she was... "DALLAS ASHBY!!!"

  "JOANN LATOUR... FRENCHY!!!"

  Both the Arm trooper and the two girls who'd meanwhile come to the door were astounded when Frenchy and the rescued slave suddenly ran madly at each other and met in a huge bear hug, laughing, crying, and hopping up and down. The trooper wondered if both women were suddenly stricken insane. Justa figured Frenchy was nuts, but it wasn't safe to say so. Fuzzy just stood there and exhibited all the signs of vast puzzlement... again. She decided to say something about it, but stopped when Justa glared at her threateningly.

  When things calmed down, Frenchy sent the Arm skimmer and its troopers on their way, taking the little cell phone-like device that contained the survivor's credit account the Arm gave Dallas for resettlement purposes. After that, she and Dallas, her oldest friend, walked back into the house, arms around each other's shoulders.

  "Oh, hell, Dallas! You were the last person I expected to see!"

  "That makes two of us, Frenchy! After that spaceship ride, I was expecting to see little green men or something out of Star Wars. I mean, everyone I met was human, but who knows what was coming? They told me I was going to stay with someone that would help me adjust to this place. Babe, is that you?"

  Frenchy nodded as they entered the doorway. "You got it, babe. In fact, you aren't the only one I have to take care of at the moment." She pointed at the two girls who'd retreated to the couch.

  Dallas stared for a moment then looked at Frenchy. "What is it with all these star worlds? Are they one galactic nudist colony, or are we in a working joint?"

  Frenchy winced at the reference to a strip club. She shook her head firmly. "No, nothing like that. Yes, people out here are a lot more casual about dressing, but that's something I'm going to have to explain to you. Look, it's a long story. Let's get you something to wear and I'll start to explain."

  She switched from English to Rembaud. "Girls, this is Dallas Ashby. She's just been freed and she's an old friend. If you'll just wait until we get back, I'll make the introductions. She doesn't speak Rembaud, so I'll translate. Just give us a minute."

  "Frenchy, I can introduce myself." The words were in Rembaud.

  Frenchy stared at her friend. "Dallas! You speak Rembaud?"

  Dallas gave her a cheeky grin. "Sure do. Didn't waste my time on that police ship. They hooked me up to a gadget you wouldn't believe."

  Frenchy smiled at her. "Oh, yes I would! How do you think I learned?"

  At that point, a dry, very masculine voice interrupted. "Who was that, Frenchy?"

  Dallas looked at the owner of the voice and said, in a very appreciative tone, "Well-l-l-l, I'm beginning to like it here."

  Frenchy's head snapped around to look at Grae and she gasped. He was obviously just out of the shower, toweling his long unbound hair. It was just as obvious that the towel was the only piece of cloth he had, and it was in his hands, not on his body. Ordinarily, Grae strolled around naked whenever the urge took him, just like everyone else in the Tribes. Now was not the time for that, Frenchy thought frantically, as she realized he was collecting appreciative looks from all three women. Especially the one standing next to her.

  "Everyone wait here!" she yelled as she darted forward, grabbed Grae's hand, and urgently led her puzzled husband quickly back to the bedroom for a quick discussion about clothes and Earth girls while he dressed.

  When Frenchy reemerged into the living room, she was carrying a makeshift outfit for Dallas. She was mildly surprised to find her deep in conversation with Justa and paused for a moment to watch. Even Fuzzy was allowed to get in the odd comment, albeit with mandatory shutdown conducted at regular intervals. She was glad to see the pseudo-Polynesian girl interacting with the other two. Fuzzy struck her as a nice, outgoing kid with a speech problem. She used too much of it.

  "Hey babe," she said, "I've got some clothes for you. While you're not exactly illegal here undressed like you are, I figured you might be more comfortable wearing something."

  She gave her some of her own underwear, since Dallas shared her bra and panty sizes, despite their eight inch difference in height. Back in the old days, they used to occasionally swap stage costumes. That girl didn't have an hour glass figure, she reflected. As short as she was, it was more like an hour-and-a-half glass. After the underwear, a T-shirt and the wrap from a Galactic-style sari used as a wraparound skirt completed the improvised outfit. It even managed to make Dallas look sort of resort-style fashionable.

  Later that evening, Frenchy found herself alone in the living room. Sighing with weary relaxation, sh
e put her bare feet up on the coffee table and leaned back in the sofa, cradling a tall cool glass of what passed for iced tea out here among the stars. She was still wearing her tribal leathers, but, true to the tradition of pure American womanhood in which she was raised, her boots came off as soon as she hit the house.

  What a day. Dallas showed up out of nowhere, and she had to be outfitted. Then Grae got introduced with pointed side comments to Dallas about Frenchy's newfound monogamy. After that, it was breakfast then off to shop for clothes. Dallas now had custom made jeans, T-shirts and several Galactic saris. Fuzzy, at least from the front, now looked like a walking floral display. Frenchy had even let the girl make a selection of garishly colored oversized T-shirts, which she adored. They were way too big for Fuzzy, but, Frenchy smiled, that was the point. With her in one of those, she'd look like she was wearing a smock.

  As always when things were quiet, Yelen floated up in her consciousness. Frenchy spent a few peaceful moments in their wordless, warm communion. That was one of the nice things about her previous adventures, she reflected. Having a sister, even only in her mind, gave her a precious closeness she never knew before meeting Grae and hosting Yelen.

  With total silence and an effortless grace surprising in a big, hard muscled man, Grae came into the living room and sat down next to Frenchy, putting an affectionate arm around her shoulders. He wasn't interrupting, because, he, too, hosted a portion of Yelen's consciousness. All three peacefully enjoyed the quiet company and the slow ebb and flow of emotional communion.

  They sat like that for a while, when Frenchy became aware of another presence nearby. Without turning his head, Grae said quietly, "Dallas is standing in the hall looking in."

  The sensor in his empty eye socket had all around capability. It wasn't another eye, but he was still able to "see" someone behind him.

  Reluctant to break the mood, but feeling relaxed and mellow, Frenchy looked over her shoulder at where Dallas, now in jeans and T-shirt, was standing and waved her to a seat on the small couch opposite them. Dallas walked over and sat in the indicated couch, then looked at Grae and Frenchy without saying a word for the moment. She stayed quiet for a while, displaying a self-assured maturity that Justa and Fuzzy were years away from attaining. Finally, she said, "I'm not intruding, am I?"

  Frenchy shook her head with a little smile. "We were just sitting." By unspoken consent, Yelen was never spoken of by either of them except to Grae's parents.

  "You know," Dallas continued in the same calm voice, "this is all so new to me. I'm not sure yet what happened."

  Grae spoke up. "You were taken by slavers. I'll let Frenchy explain how that particular wrongness got started, but, for right now, it's enough for you to know that it exists. Some aspects are legal, I regret to say, but they were committing a crime when they took you from a restricted world, or, for that matter, any world other than mine. The slavers were caught and they'll be punished, but that still leaves your future. I imagine that's what concerns you now."

  Dallas nodded meditatively, relaxing comfortably back on the couch. "It did, or rather, it still does, but less so now that I've seen the two of you sitting together. Frenchy, I kind of guessed you got here the same way I did, but I'm happy for you, girl. You got out of the stripping racket and it looks like you found what you've been missing all these years."

  Frenchy gave her a little smile. "Thanks, Dallas. I guess I have. Oh, I wasn't captured by slavers." She turned and smiled at Grae, elbowing him gently in the side. "This big lug kidnapped me. It's a long strange story and I'll tell you all about it soon enough. What's important right now is you and what you want to do."

  Shifting slightly on her seat, Dallas replied, "What I want right now is to go home."

  She looked at Frenchy and Grae. "But I don't guess that's possible is it?"

  Frenchy shook her head sadly. "Not for you or me. Not that I'd ever want to. Earth is a restricted world. They wouldn't be doing you any favors even if they did take you back. How would you explain being captured by a UFO?"

  Dallas put her elbow on the couch's arm and leaned her head on her hand. "Damn," she said calmly, "I figured that. I was a millionaire, too. So, now what?"

  Frenchy wasn't surprised at Dallas's casual attitude to her lost fortune and world. Dallas was as much a hardnosed survivor as she herself was. Facts were facts and, if something was lost, no sense crying over it. In addition, stripping for a career didn't lend itself to getting attached to places. "Sounds like you were a success, babe," Frenchy said wryly. "I never took that much off a stage."

  Dallas waived airily. "Business, babe. You're looking at a business genius. Still, I guess I'm wondering where my next meal is coming from."

  Grae spoke up. "That's one thing you don't have to worry about. The Arm gave you funds." He looked at his wife. "And you're Frenchy's friend. Where I come from, and it's her place now, too, that means a lot. Anything we can do, we will."

  Frenchy glanced at her husband with gratitude. "There's something else," she said. "Galactic civilization is okay, I guess, but neither one of us likes it much."

  She indicated the Grae's Tribal dress and her own. "This is what we wear back home, and Lycanth's nothing like this planet. Things can get a little hardnosed back there, but it's still better than worlds like this. It's clean.

  "Would you like to come back to Lycanth with us when we go home? We won't be there a lot because Grae's got a job and I do too. We're Federation Arm Enforcers. That's kind of like the FBI back on Earth. Oh, I'm not a full Enforcer, yet. I'm here going through the Academy and Grae's doing a temporary stint there as an instructor. But we have family and the Tribes are a good place to set down roots. I think you'd like it." Grae nodded his own approval of Frenchy's offer.

  Dallas looked at the pair for a thoughtful moment. "Well, it sounds like a plan. What am I getting into?"

  The rest of the evening was spent telling Dallas about Frenchy's adventures and about the beautiful desert world of Lycanth, its shape-changing fauna, and the Tribes.

  The next several days proved interesting. Given she now had three strays under her care, Frenchy applied for, and got, a leave of absence from the Academy. That part was almost pro forma, because all of the important classes were over. She was just marking time until graduation next week. The leave gave her time to catch up on news with Dallas as well as manage Justa while keeping Fuzzy from flooding the air with words.

  Grae came home with an announcement. He was barely through the door when he told Frenchy, "The Arm's found Fuzzy's daddy. Also her husband."

  "Husband? She never said anything about being married."

  Grae nodded at her. "I know. Still, the Arm ran a missing person search on Setton's World's database system, and good old Daddy popped up. When they contacted him, he mentioned her husband. They are on the way here now to pick her up and take her home."

  Frenchy smiled. "That's great! I'm so glad for her!"

  Grae gave her a knowing smile in return. "Yeah, and for us. It ought to be a little more peaceful after that."

  Frenchy blushed. "That's not what I meant. Oh, okay, yelling 'FUZZY!' whenever you want to get a word in edgewise can be a mite wearing on one."

  Grae snorted. He also followed the proven method for damming the girl's cataract of words. "No doubt."

  Frenchy plowed on gallantly. "Still, she's a nice girl. I'm happy for her. Looks like she's going to come out of this all right. She'll be happy to meet Daddy and her husband again..."

  "Sounds like you've caught whatever she has," Grae interrupted dryly.

  Frenchy frowned back repressively. "I'm going to tell her right now."

  "Fine. I'll get some ear plugs."

  The frown deepened. Then she went to the hall. "Fuzzy," she yelled, "come here. I've got some good news."

  Fuzzy came bouncing out, followed, oddly enough, by Dallas. Frenchy noted the girl was dressed in one of the oversized T-shirts she now habitually wore around the house. She started to speak then
obviously thought better of it. Grae smiled and said, "Go ahead, Fuzzy."

  "I come now, you call," she started. "You say you have good news for me and I all over curious what you want. You tell me what..."

  "FUZZY!" This was from two voices in unison.

  Frenchy gently took the girl's arm with a smile. "Yes, dear, we have some good news. Come into the living room and I'll tell you."

  When they were all sitting in the living room, Frenchy leaned forward and said, "Fuzzy, Grae heard from the Arm, today. They've found your Daddy and your husband. They're on the way here. They ought to be here in a few days. Fuzzy, they're coming to take you home."

  If she was looking for signs of excitement, Frenchy was a disappointed woman. Fuzzy looked at Frenchy for a few seconds with a puzzled expression, then said, "I have husband, now?"

  Frenchy felt sandbagged. "Honey, you didn't know you had a husband?"

  Fuzzy nodded with a wide-eyed expression. "I not have husband when I left. Daddy must have married me while I gone here. I don't know who he choose, but I sure he choose right. Daddy big man in Clan. He choose right, I sure."

  Fuzzy assumed a starry eyed expression. "Oh, that's good thing Daddy did. I not have husband before, but that's okay. I want to see who Daddy pick. Daddy big man in Clan, so husband must be big man also. I think I like idea. You married and I like man you married. I think I hope I get man like you, Frenchy. If he like your man, then everything be very good. I think..."

  Frenchy was too flabbergasted to yell, so she leaned forward and gently put her hand over Fuzzy's mouth, meanwhile trying to get over the shock. If she understood everything Fuzzy was saying, always an iffy proposition, then the girl was married by proxy after she was kidnapped! She looked at Grae for confirmation, and he nodded. "I think they have a proxy marriage custom, mistress. Not the way we do things, but Fuzzy seems excited."

  Sure enough, the girl was smiling happily, nearly bouncing in her seat with not-so-suppressed energy. Noticing Frenchy's look, she nodded. "Daddy pick husband for me. Now I go home with him. I hope he have big loneilone."