The Consequences of Forever (Lainey)

by Kaitlyn Oruska

  “Well, I’ll be sure to let her know you think she’s cute. Maybe she can stalk you next, if things don’t work out with Margo.”

  He didn’t bother correcting me on the name this time, and something in his eyes changed. “That won’t be necessary. I kind of have my eye on someone else at the moment.”

  I tilted my head to the side and studied his face. I wondered if he were really flirting with me, and if so, if I had been flirting back this entire time. Maybe it was pathetic, but I’d never had the experience before. Scott and I had started dating a second after high school began, and there had been none of that beforehand. We’d agreed we liked each other, and that was that. We went from walking side by side to holding hands, and shared a few make out sessions in his father’s den on the few occasions Hannah wasn’t with us. It had been easy; a flawless transition from friends to something slightly more.

  “I don’t think Melody would be too happy to hear about that,” I remarked, and he burst out laughing.

  “Okay, that time it was just too far off. You’re doing it on purpose.”

  I grinned and shrugged my shoulders noncommittally. “Maybe, maybe not.” The wind was picking up now, and Adam stepped a little closer, and tucked some hair behind my ear.

  “Sometimes you just… fall into relationships with people, you know? You have a conversation or share a common interest and the next thing you know, they’re calling you their boyfriend and you’re too bored with everything else to disagree, so it happens. It doesn’t mean you have to stay with that person, especially if someone much better comes along.”

  I bit my lip and looked into his eyes, unsure of how I felt about what I saw in them. There was an intensity about him, one that unsettled me. “How can you assume that someone else is better? Maybe you’re just bored again and looking for a way out.”

  Adam shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. And maybe I didn’t word things too well. I guess what I’m trying to say is, Maggie is fun. She’s a great girl, but she’s just… Maggie. There’s not much more below the surface. Maybe I’m just looking for something a little deeper, something I couldn’t feel for her.”

  “Maybe you should break up with her, then,” I remarked, stepping back slightly.

  “Maybe I should,” Adam agreed, and stepped towards me again, closing all space between us. He brushed my hair back again, this time letting his hand rest on my cheek.

  “I’ve seen you with him,” he said. “With Scott. If you didn’t hold hands every once in a while, I never would have thought you were anything more than friends. You don’t seem that happy with him.”

  “We’re fine,” I answered automatically, which was true. If nothing else, Scott and I were fine. We were always fine.

  “Why settle for fine if you can have something more?” He pressed, and for the briefest of moments, I wanted to answer him. I wanted to say that something more always led to trouble, that something more was never anything I had envisioned in my plans for myself. I wanted to admit that maybe Scott was perfect for me because he would never be anything more than what he was to me now, but I didn’t.

  I opened my mouth to answer, hoping that words would come out of my mouth without having to be thought up first, but they didn’t. I just stood there, my mouth opening and closing almost rhythmically, with Adam Montgomery staring at me with that same intensity that left me unsettled.

  “I am going to kiss you,” he told me calmly, and any protests I might have made were lost in the ocean breeze. “Is that okay?”

  I nodded slowly, not thinking twice about the decision and what it could mean. There was no way any of this could be real anyway, that a complete stranger could become a new possibility in the span of less than an hour. There was no danger where there was no reality.

  It felt like ages before his lips were on mine, and he kept his eyes open, as did I. We stared directly into each other for that brief moment, and I wondered if what they said was true, if eyes really were the window to the soul. If it was, I wondered what Adam saw in mine.

  He pulled away and neither of us spoke. For whatever reason, there seemed to be nothing left to say. We had found each other there, on that night and whether it was planned or not, it had happened. I had kissed a boy I’d never given a second glance to, and that changed everything.

  I wasn’t surprised when he kissed me again, or again after that. Somehow his lips felt like the most natural thing in the world on mine, and the way his fingers tangled in my hair and my arms wrapped around his waist seemed familiar, though it had never happened before.

  In the end, it was Hannah that found me, and the surprise written all over her face was something I’d never seen before, and it was somehow exhilarating.

  I left Adam on the beach that night, not knowing what the next day would hold for us, much less any of the days that would follow. I left him standing there, his leather jacket still wrapped around me, my lips chapped from his kisses, our phone numbers not exchanged. I would find him in the foyer of Bella Vista the next morning, a goofy grin on his lips and a hopeful look in his eyes, and the rest of forever would begin.

  If only either of us knew the challenges a simple word like forever could bring.

  Part I

  When We Were Young

  Chapter One

  My dad believes everything happens for a reason. He tried to raise me to believe the same, but it never stuck.

  Sitting on the floor of my bathroom, the only light in the room coming from the tiny window above the sink, it was even harder to believe that there’s a reason for everything that happens. It seemed more like a cop-out than ever before, a way to avoid taking responsibility for your actions.

  How I was supposed to take responsibility for this particular action, I wasn’t sure. I’ve always heard that life moves fast, but I never felt it until I met Adam. It seemed to me that our summer had turned to fall in the blink of an eye, and now it was Halloween. It was also time for consequence.

  The blue cross gleamed against its white background, mocking me. All my life, the word positive meant good things, promising things. It meant a good outlook on life, a definitive yes to every question you didn’t want to hear a no to. It wasn’t supposed to mean that life as I’d known it was ending, though you’d think I was used to that by now. My life had never stayed the same for very long, but I’d never expected this, not in a million years. And still, there was no one to blame but myself.

  When I first realized my period was late, I wasn’t concerned. I’d never been regular, and last year Nora even tried talking me into getting on birth control in order to fix that. I’d turned her offer down, concerned about what it would mean if Scott ever found out. Our relationship was new then, and we hadn’t discussed where it was going. The reality was, I hadn’t wanted any of that with Scott, and I never considered for a minute that I’d meet someone new less than a year later, someone that I would want that kind of relationship with. If everything happened for a reason, Adam must have been the exception to the rule.

  The sound of Hannah’s footsteps broke me from my spell, and my eyes darted to the bathroom door, which I’d forgotten to lock. Hannah and I shared both a bedroom and a bathroom, and privacy was something that had long since gone out of existence. I sprung to my feet and tucked the pregnancy test into a half-full box of tampons. Hannah hadn’t turned down Nora’s birth control offer, and she’d gotten her period about a week after I was supposed to. I remembered because she’d screamed in agony about cramps almost the entire week, and I’d played the role of sympathetic stepsister and caregiver. I wondered for the briefest of moments how she’d handle labor, and pushed the thought aside. The tampon box would be a safe enough hiding spot for now.

  I opened the bathroom door before Hannah could, and we nearly collided into each other. “What were you doing in there?” She demanded.

  “Nothing,” I replied, my heart pounding wildly. Hannah might come across as borderline goofy at times, but don’t let that fool you; she
was smart, and exceptionally good at reading people, especially me. We might have been complete opposites in just about every way possible, but we were also extremely close. We’d both wanted a family all of our lives, and we took our roles as stepsisters seriously. If there was anyone in the world I could trust with my newfound secret, it was Hannah. I just wasn’t quite ready to admit it to myself yet.

  Hannah raised an eyebrow. “Okay then. I came up to tell you dinner’s ready.”

  My stomach turned at the thought of food. I’d never been a big eater to start with, but the nausea I was experiencing lately was enough to turn me off of it for good. “What are we having?” I asked.

  Hannah grinned. “Pizza and wings, can you believe it? Michael ordered it when Mom was on the phone with Erin, and didn’t tell her until she was ready to start cooking, so it was too late for her to try and cancel.”

  I smiled despite myself. Nora was stringent about healthy eating, and refused to let take-out enter the household, especially the deep-fried kind. She was infamous for calling back pizza shops and demanding the order be cancelled after catching my dad in the act.

  “This should be interesting,” I remarked, following Hannah out of our bedroom. I turned back and glanced at the bathroom door, closed once again, and wondered if I should come up with an excuse to go back and find a new hiding spot.

  “Girls, your future heart attacks are getting cold!” Nora called up the stairs, and my decision was made.

  My dad was already spreading the food out on the table, a victorious grin on his face, when we got to the kitchen. Because we lived in a bed and breakfast, we had a formal dining room with a very large table for guests, but my dad had insisted we get a small table for the kitchen, with just enough room for us. Nora hadn’t been too happy with the idea of eating in a separate location from our guests, but it was one thing my dad wasn’t backing down on. He claimed that owning a bed and breakfast made life strange enough; we at least needed to have family dinners most nights out of the week.

  “I got the hot sauce on the side,” my dad announced. “I know my girl over there isn’t too fond of spicy stuff.” He winked at me and I forced a smile. For ten years it had been just the two of us, and we had a strong bond. If what I had just found out minutes before was hard for me to accept, I wondered how hard it would be for him. He had high hopes for me; I was supposed to be the one to accomplish all the things he hadn’t been able to.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking my usual seat at the table.

  Nora sighed as she sat down across from me. “I have half a mind to just whip something up for myself,” she remarked, staring disdainfully at the pizza. There were two, one piled high with just about every type of meat you could imagine, the other piled high with the pizza parlor’s version of vegetables. Both had a thin layer of grease resting on top. My stomach turned, and by the look on Nora’s face, so did hers.

  “Oh, just eat it,” my dad said, waving his hand dismissively. He grabbed a piece of the meat lover’s and took a big bite, closing his eyes for emphasis. My dad loved junk food. We had all but lived off of it the years it was just the two of us. I took a slice of the vegetable pizza, and picked off a piece of broccoli stalk, placing it in my mouth. I made a face; it tasted nothing like the broccoli Nora steamed for us.

  Hannah poured a heavy dose of hot sauce on her wings, rolling her eyes at us. “You two are so… I don’t even know the word for what you are. You’re both way too thin as it is. I don’t think a little pizza and fried chicken is going to hurt you.”

  I wanted to laugh out loud at the irony of Hannah calling me too thin. If that were even remotely true, it wouldn’t remain that way for much longer. I suddenly felt much worse, and put the pizza down on the plate.

  Nora frowned at her. “It has nothing to do with weight management, Hannah. Why is it that everyone seems to think eating healthy has to do with losing or maintaining weight? The entire purpose of food is energy and nutrition, and eating junk like this does nothing for either.” She pushed her empty place away and shook her head.

  “Just think of it as me giving you a break, considering all the cooking you’re going to be doing tomorrow and Saturday,” my dad spoke up. Saturday night Bella Vista was holding its first ever fundraiser, a buffet dinner party masterminded and hosted by Nora and her best friend, Erin. The money was going towards families affected by the most recent hurricane Haven had experienced. The damage wasn’t as bad as it had been in years past, but there were still families that needed extra help that insurance companies weren’t paying for, and they couldn’t afford out-of-pocket. It was a good way to both raise awareness of hurricane safety, as well as offer some free advertising for Bella Vista. Nora had already contacted a few people who worked for travel guides and magazines, asking them to attend.

  “I’m going to heat up some of the chicken stir fry we had yesterday. Lainey, would you like some?”

  I glanced up and noticed all three of them were staring at me, as if my answer would settle some unknown score. I cleared my throat. “Um, no thanks. I’m not that hungry anyway.”

  “You haven’t been lately,” Nora remarked as I made another attempt at eating the pizza. “Is anything bothering you?”

  Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Hannah making a face. “No, I’m fine,” I lied. “I just ate a big lunch.” Actually, I hadn’t eaten much lunch at all. My stomach had been in knots, worrying about the test hidden in my book bag, waiting for me to take it after school.

  Nora looked like she was about to say something, but my dad spoke up before she could. “So you girls are sure you don’t want to go trick or treating when we’re done dinner? I’d be more than happy to chaperone.”

  “You just want candy,” Hannah pointed out.

  He grinned. “I think we’re a little too old,” I added, again with the irony. Maybe this is why people are always claiming being a teenager is confusing. You’re either too old for something or too young for something else. It was enough to make your head truly spin, if you let it.

  “You’re never too old for Halloween,” my dad declared. “I was trick or treating into my twenties. Would have kept going if Kathryn would have allowed it.” Kathryn was my dad’s first wife. They’d married right out of high school, and had my older half-brother, Mason, a few years later. They both lived in Delaware, and I’d only actually met Mason a handful of times, the most recent being when we’d moved to Bella Vista and he’d come down to check it out.

  “Speaking of Kathryn, I spoke with Mason last night.” Everyone turned their attention to my dad, who was back to shoveling pizza into his mouth. I wondered if he was trying to eat it as quickly as possible in fear of Nora sneaking it away from him when he wasn’t looking.

  “What did he say?” Hannah asked eagerly. Since she’d only met him once, she insisted they weren’t actually stepsiblings, and had developed a strange little crush on him.

  My dad chuckled. “Something you’re not going to like, I’m afraid. Do you remember Cynthia?”

  Hannah wrinkled her nose and I nodded. “Yeah, he told me about her a while ago. His girlfriend, right?”

  “Well, fiancée now, officially. He proposed, and they’re going to get married sometime in June. No date has been set yet, but they were thinking of coming down here and doing it, maybe renting a few rooms for guests.”

  Nora came back to the table with her new and improved dinner, a frown on her face. “You didn’t tell him that was okay, did you?”

  My dad looked up at her, surprised. “I told him it was up to him what he wanted to do,” he answered. “Is that a problem?”

  Nora pinched her lips together. “Yes, Michael, that is a problem. We’re already booked all of June.”

  My dad waved his hand dismissively. “If he wants to have it here, we’ll call the people that reserved rooms and ask them to reschedule.”

  “It isn’t that simple, Michael.”

  “Nora, if my son wants to get married here, then he is going
to get married here. It is that simple.”

  “We’re trying to run a business here, Michael. We can’t be sending guests away just because your son suddenly decides he wants a beach wedding and can’t possibly have it anywhere else.” Their eyes met in a silent argument; Hannah and I exchanged glances.

  “Well, I’m stuffed!” Hannah announced, jumping to her feet.

  I put down my half-eaten slice of pizza and nodded in agreement. “Me too.”

  “Okay girls, then just go on up and do some homework. I’ll clean all this up.” Nora said, not taking her eyes off my dad, who remained silent. But I knew as soon as we left the room, an argument would begin, and it wouldn’t end until somehow gave in.

  Hannah and I locked arms and dashed up the steps into our bedroom. “So who do you think’s going to win?” Hannah asked, flopping down onto my bed. My bed, unlike hers, was always made, and she claimed that made it more comfortable.

  I sat down beside her. “Nora,” I answered. “There’s no way she’s going to turn away guests that already reserved rooms, especially not for Mason.”

  “I don’t get why she has such a problem with him. Mason is awesome.”

  “You met him once, three years ago,” I reminded her.

  “So? He was awesome then, and most people don’t just stop being awesome,” she sighed wistfully. “I guess I don’t have much of a shot now though, do I? I mean, he’s getting married and all.”

  I laughed. “I don’t think you had much of a shot to begin with, Hannah. He’s twenty-five, you’re fifteen. Kind of a big age difference.”

  Hannah grinned. “Yeah and Mom still can’t deal with the fact that Adam is eighteen. That’s only three years.”

  “Two years and two months, minus a few days,” I corrected her. “And I don’t think Adam’s age has as much to do with it as the fact that he isn’t Scott.”

  Hannah nodded her agreement. “True that,” she said. “You’d better watch out if Mason’s wedding is here, she might try and smuggle you and Scott in after.”