We were at the birthing center, in the section where appointments were held, waiting to be called. We’d gotten there early at Adam’s insistence, which only made me feel more and more nervous as time passed. I had no idea what to expect. Hannah had suggested looking up twelve week appointments online, but I’d decided I was better off not knowing.
“Winslow?” Finally. I stood up, and Adam stood up with me. I turned to him in surprise.
“You’re coming with me?”
“Aren’t I supposed to?”
“Winslow?” The woman repeated. I hurried towards her, Adam close behind.
She led us a little ways down a hallway and then into a room that looked very similar to every examination room I’d ever been in. The familiar sense of dread fell over me.
“Thea will be in shortly,” the woman informed me, offering a quick smile before disappeared.
“Thea?” I repeated, but the woman was already gone.
“Apparently midwives prefer to be called by their first names,” Adam informed me with confidence, taking a seat.
I stood in the center of the room, arms protecting my stomach. “How do you know?”
He shrugged. “My mom probably told me. Why don’t you sit down?”
I shook my head. The sooner I sat down, the sooner I was going to be examined. No thank you.
The door opened seconds later, and a woman who looked to be somewhere in her mid-twenties entered. She had light brown hair, left loose around her shoulders, and big brown eyes. Instead of the traditional white doctor’s coat, she was dressed normally in a t-shirt and jeans.
“Hi?” I said. It came out sounding more like a question than a greeting.
The woman extended her hand. “Hi,” she said warmly. “I’m Thea. You must be Lainey, and you are?”
“Adam,” he said, standing up.
“You’re the doctor?” I asked, trying to get over my shock. I’d been picturing someone old, who resembled maybe Albert Einstein, and dressed in all white with scary medical instruments hanging from their necks.
Thea laughed, as if she knew exactly what I had been expecting. “Midwife,” she corrected me. “Not too big of a difference, but enough to land you here instead of over at the hospital, I can see.”
“His mom made the appointment,” I explained.
She motioned for me to sit down in one of the chairs, instead of the exam table. “Are you aware of any of the differences?”
“Some.”
“Okay. Well first things first – have you considered how you plan on giving birth when the time comes?”
I blinked at her. “I have a choice?”
Thea laughed good-naturedly. “Of course you have a choice. Some women prefer getting a cesarean section, some prefer to go a more natural route but with medication, and then others prefer to go completely natural, meaning no medication whatsoever. Women who prefer the latter typically come to midwives, because that’s what we offer.”
“None of it sounds too appealing,” I admitted.
Thea smiled. “No, but there are some definite pros to going the natural route, and I’m not just saying that because it’s my job. Some women may argue that it’s simply too painful, but I always remind them that our bodies are designed to give birth.”
“I don’t like medicine,” I told her. “I don’t even take it for headaches. It’s a phobia, I guess. That’s why Julia wanted me to come here.”
Thea nodded, understanding. “Well, nothing is set in stone. I always recommend my patients to set up a backup doctor, in case they change their minds or God forbid, something happens last minute that makes you unable to deliver naturally.”
“Like what?” I asked anxiously.
“Like a breached birth, or if your pregnancy becomes high risk later on for whatever reason. Nothing you need to necessarily worry about right now. I want to give you an exam today, since all I have on you is that you’re about twelve weeks along.”
She picked up a chart that had been left on her desk for her. “How would you describe your symptoms so far? Have you been experiencing morning sickness, heartburn, food aversions, anything?”
“I had morning sickness for a while, but it wasn’t that bad. I mean, I wasn’t puking constantly, so I survived. And I’ve had food aversions on and off. And cravings. I’ve actually eaten a few cheeseburgers and I haven’t had red meat in years.”
Thea laughed. “Well, pregnancy will do that to you. Have you had any cramping or anything?”
I shook my head. “Maybe a little at first, in the very beginning. I thought I was getting my period for a while, and then I missed it.”
“That’s pretty common,” she assured me. “No bleeding?”
“No, not at all.”
“Okay, good. And you’re sixteen?”
“Yeah, but I was fifteen when I got pregnant. Is that bad?”
She smiled and looked up at me. “Not as long as you’re healthy. Have you been eating enough?”
“How much is enough?”
“Are you going without food or allowing yourself to feel hungry?”
I shook my head. I’d ended up eating more than my share of the food Hannah had gotten for us earlier, and still didn’t feel completely full.
“Alright, good. That’s one of the most common concerns in teen pregnancies. Girls not gaining enough weight either because they simply can’t or in some cases, don’t want to, and the babies being born with a low birth weight. It doesn’t appear as if you’ve put on some significant weight yet, which is normal for the first pregnancy, so we’ll worry more about that a little later. This is your first pregnancy, right?”
“Yeah, of course.” I frowned slightly.
“I didn’t mean anything by that; it’s just a question I have to ask.” She wrote something down on her chart and then smiled at me. “Today is going to be a pretty painless appointment,” she promised. “All I really need to do is get a urine sample, a blood sample, go over any questions you might have, and then we’re going to see if we can hear a heartbeat for you. I’d also like to an ultrasound, just to make sure everything looks alright, and to make sure the dating is correct.”
“Okay,” I agreed, feeling my nervousness come back. “Do I need to put one of those weird robes on?”
“Nope, nothing like that. Do you think you could get the urine sample for me first?”
I thought of the two water bottles I’d had at lunch and nodded. Thea removed a cup from one of the cabinets and handed it to me, giving me directions to the closest bathroom. “While you’re gone I’ll grill Adam,” she said with a wink.
I headed down the hallway and after getting lost momentarily, found the bathroom. It felt like ages before I was capable of doing what I needed to do, and when I made it back to the room, Adam and Thea were still there, waiting patiently.
I handed the cup to Thea and she placed it on her table, and then put a small strip in it. She removed the strip, studied it, and smiled. “Everything looks good there. I’ll be right back.”
She left the room, and I turned to Adam, feeling a bit self-conscious. “This is weird,” I said.
“How?”
“It doesn’t feel weird for you?”
“Not really.”
I sighed and hoisted myself back up onto the table. Thea returned and went back to the cabinet, this time removing a syringe. My eyes widened.
“Don’t look so scared, Lainey,” she advised. “I just need to draw a little bit of blood for some more tests. Nothing major.”
I closed my eyes while she did it. I remembered when I was little, and had to get blood taken for some reason I couldn’t remember now. I’d been so scared, I thought I was going to pass out. The feeling hadn’t changed at all, more than ten years later.
“All done,” she announced seconds later. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
I looked away while she packaged and labeled my blood. “You don’t get queasy at the sight of blood, do you?” She asked.
&nbs
p; “I don’t know. I always try not to look.”
She laughed. “Once you survive another six months of pregnancy, none of this is going to feel too major. Once you survive labor, you’ll be able to survive anything at all, trust me.”
“Do you have kids?” I asked.
“I do. Two boys. One is eleven, and the other is two.”
I looked at her, surprised. She was so young.
“My first was born when I was seventeen,” she explained. “So you can believe me when I say that I know a little of what you’re going through. Although, I didn’t have an Adam standing by my side throughout all of it.”
I looked over at Adam, sitting in his chair, looking far more comfortable than I felt, and realized that despite all the negatives of our situation, I was actually pretty lucky. He smiled at me.
“How long have you been a midwife?” I asked.
“About six years. My birthing experience with my first son wasn’t very pleasant, and when I did research, I regretting not going the natural route. Then I realized I needed a job that paid more than waitressing, so I put myself through school and ended up here.” She smiled. “One of the best decisions I’ve ever made, too.”
“Why was your experience bad?” I asked nervously, not sure I wanted to hear the answer.
“I’m not going to answer that, because you don’t need to be worrying about what can go wrong and how scary labor is. All you need to remember is, if your body couldn’t handle giving birth, it wouldn’t have allowed you to get pregnant in the first place.”
“I guess.”
“Do you have any questions?”
“No.”
“You’re a sixteen year old girl dealing with an unplanned pregnancy, and you can’t think of a single question to ask your midwife?”
“Nope.”
“Alright. Well in case you change your mind, I’m going to give you my personal numbers so you can reach me anytime. I’d recommend calling my cell first, but if I don’t answer, I can guarantee someone at my house will and they’ll be able to find me for you. Okay?”
“Okay, but why?”
“I do this with all my patients. In a few months, I’m going to be helping you do one of the most important things you’ll do in your lifetime. I think that calls for something a little more personal than a doctor/patient relationship, wouldn’t you say?”
“I guess.”
“You’re not much of a talker, are you?”
“I’m scared,” I admitted.
Thea nodded. “I know you are. But you’re not alone. You’d be scared even if you were thirty-six instead of sixteen. But in the end, it’ll all be worth it, I can promise you that. Do you really not have any questions?”
“How often do I have to come here?” It was the only one I could think of to ask.
Thea chuckled. “Once a month. When it gets closer to your due date, we’ll discuss having appointments more often. Is that all?” I
I nodded and she turned to Adam. “What about you, Adam?”
“How soon can we find out the gender?” He asked. I hadn’t even thought to ask that question.
“That depends. In my experience, I’ve been able to detect if you’re having a boy a little earlier than with a girl. I usually leave when my patients get ultrasounds up to them, unless I have a reason to want one.”
“Are you going to be doing the ultrasound or is someone else?”
“I am. Everything that happens to you during your pregnancy and through labor is going to be me. I’m certified in every aspect of prenatal care so that I can give my patients their full treatment myself, instead of having to deal with multiple different people every visit.”
I felt somewhat relieved. “Good.”
We didn’t have any more questions, so Thea advised me to lie down. She lifted my shirt up lightly, and pressed her fingers against my lower stomach.
“What are you doing?” I asked anxiously.
“Just feeling around,” she assured me. “Making sure everything feels normal, and that you’re where you need to be.”
“Am I?”
“Yes, everything feels right. Are you ready to hear your baby’s heartbeat?” No, I thought, but nodded. Adam walked over to the table, standing beside me and taking my hand in his.
Thea took something from her desk that looked a bit like a walkie talkie with a tiny microphone attached. “This is a fetal Doppler,” she explained. “We use this to hear the heartbeat, and determine the heart rate. Now, don’t be concerned if you don’t hear anything. Twelve weeks is still a little early.”
She pressed the Doppler against my stomach, and a few seconds later, a faint sound filled the room. My eyes widened and I looked up with Adam, who looked as shocked as I felt.
Thea smiled, looking pleased. “Well, Mom and Dad, how does it feel to hear your baby for the first time?”
Part II
In a Family Way
Chapter Sixteen
“Lainey?”
I blinked at the sound of my name. Julia Montgomery came into focus, standing before me, looking concerned. A quick glance told me that I was at her house, standing on her doorstep. I couldn’t remember if I’d knocked.
“Hi,” I said, trying to force a smile. It felt more like a cringe, so I stopped.
“What are you doing out here?” Julia asked. “And without a jacket! Honey, don’t you realize it’s barely forty degrees?”
I hadn’t realized that, but I didn’t say anything. Instead I allowed Julia to usher me into the house, where it was noticeable warmer.
She led me to the living room and to the couch where I’d spent much of my free time this past month, with Adam. It had gotten to be awkward, being at Bella Vista when I didn’t have to be, knowing the truth about how Nora felt. Knowing that one mistake, maybe the only one I’d ever made in my life, had cost me her love, possibly forever.
This was the first night I’d been home before curfew in a month. And what a big mistake that turned out to be.
I felt Julia wrap a blanket over my shoulders before sitting down beside me. She grabbed both of my hands and began rubbing them in hers, warming them. December had caught everyone off guard, becoming much colder much faster than it had in previous years, breaking records on some days. Now it was four days before Christmas, if you wanted to count the day that was mostly already done, and colder than ever.
“Adam isn’t here,” I heard Julia telling me. “He isn’t coming back tonight. He told you that, didn’t he?”
I felt myself nod. I’d talked to Adam earlier that day, when he was getting ready for the Reeves’ anniversary party. It was being held on a yacht, out of cell service so I couldn’t reach him if I needed him. I’d been invited, but declined. My nausea had been missing in action for a few weeks now, but I didn’t want to risk enticing it to return.
“I know,” I whispered. I started to stand up, realizing I had no idea why I was there. “I should go.”
“No, honey, sit,” Julia insisted. “I didn’t mean for you to leave, I was just reminding you in case you forgot. You aren’t looking too much like yourself tonight.”
I didn’t need a mirror to know that was the truth. “Okay.” I eased back into the couch. It wasn’t like I had anywhere else to go.
“Did something happen?” Julia asked.
I felt myself laugh, surprising both her and myself. “You could say that.” I could hear the bitterness in my voice, and hated it.
“Is it the baby?” There was a touch of anxiety in her voice, and I quickly shook my head, instinctively placing my hand over the lower part of my stomach. There was the tiniest bump there now, only visible if you knew to look for it.
“No, the baby’s fine,” I reassured her.
Julia looked relieved and I offered a small smile. “I’m going to get you some tea, okay?”
I nodded. Julia left the room, leaving me alone and feeling completely drained. I’d walked there, a walk that might have normally taken close to a half an
hour, but it certainly hadn’t felt like it. I could still remember leaving Bella Vista, hurrying out the door as quickly as my feet would carry me, like it had happened just moments before.
I leaned back against the soft cushions of the couch and closed my eyes. This was bad. I didn’t even need to overanalyze it to know that. In some ways, this was even worse than when I found out I was pregnant. At least then I knew my options, knew the possible outcomes of every one of them. This time, I had no answers, and no way of finding any.
Julia returned, two cups of tea in hand. “It’s lemon balm,” she explained to me. “I did some research on teas that are safe for pregnancy, and this was one of them. I’ve never tried it before but it’s supposed to be pleasant, and helpful with anxiety.”
The jittery feeling in my stomach was back, the feeling only anxiety could cause. I eagerly took the cup from her and sipped tentatively. It was too hot, but I was still so cold it didn’t matter. I drained the cup in a matter of minutes.
“Do you want more?” Julia asked.
I shook my head. What I really wanted was a nice warm bed to fall asleep in, but the thought of going home brought the jittery feeling back, so I quickly dismissed it.
Julia took my cup and placed it on the table, her still-full one beside it. She reached for my hands again, this time just holding them gently in hers. They were already warm, I realized. As if they’d never been cold in the first place.
“Lainey, you do realize you can talk to me about anything, right? You’re my family now, I’m here for you no matter what.” J
ulia’s voice was gentle; loving, even. I felt my eyes fill up, and quickly blinked them away. Family, I thought. What did that even mean anymore?
“Nora and I haven’t spoken since Thanksgiving,” I found myself saying, almost against my will. I didn’t want to talk about that anymore, I was so tired of dwelling on it. “Literally. She hasn’t even yelled at me, or pushed any adoption pamphlets on me. She just ignores me and acts like I’m not even there.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?” Julia asked gently.
I shook my head. If only it were just that. “No, it’s not. But it’s why I shouldn’t be so upset about this.” I took a deep breath. “My dad is cheating on her.”
The Consequences of Forever (Lainey) Page 16
