Julia’s eyes widened slightly. I looked down at our hands, still tightly clasped together. She showed no signs of wanting to let go. “Are you sure?” She asked, her voice low and calm.
I nodded. “I walked in on it, on them. I wasn’t supposed to be home and neither was she.” The memory blooded back, and I tried to blink it away, but to no avail.
“Nora?” Julia asked, looking confused.
I shook my head again. “Teagan.” I replied. I pictured her in my head, blonde hair and bright blue eyes, all smiles and carefree attitude. My dad’s perfect woman, wrapped in the package of a girl barely older than me. Why hadn’t I seen this coming?
“Teagan?” Julia repeated, growing more confused with every word I spoke. “Is that the young woman that’s been staying with you?”
It had been four months since Teagan came to stay with us, almost to the exact day. I’d become friends with her. She’d invited me into her room, allowed me to borrow her clothes; I hadn’t knocked because she wasn’t supposed to be home, and she’d given me permission to go in and get whatever I needed when she wasn’t there. What did I need? I couldn’t remember now.
“That’s her. She’s twenty-one. My dad is forty-five. I don’t even know what he’s thinking.”
Julia sighed. “Well, he wouldn’t be the first married man to do something like that, but I don’t think that’s what you want to hear right now. I thought he and Nora were happy together?”
I wanted to say that I’d thought so too, but deep down, I knew better. No one argued as much as they did and could still claim to be happily married and in love. “Actually, it makes a lot of sense. The way he kept disappearing all the time, and how he took Nora’s side whenever we argued. He must have been feeling guilty about cheating on her.”
“You don’t think is a one-time thing?”
“No. This is so typical of my dad. He cheated on his first wife, Kathryn. He admitted that to me. He probably would have done it to my mom eventually, if they’d stayed together long enough for his eyes to wander.” I felt myself starting to get angry, and Julia must have sensed it, because she removed her hands from mine and began rubbing my back instead. It was such a motherly gesture, I wasn’t sure whether to scream in frustration or cry in gratitude.
“People make mistakes, honey. Maybe you should confront him about this, let him know what you saw and how it makes you feel knowing that he’s betraying Nora.”
“He already knows what I saw. I walked right in; they both saw me as much as I saw them. And he didn’t exactly chase after me to make sure I was okay. And besides, what loyalty do I owe Nora, after the way she’s treated me?” I wished the memory would leave my mind, but it stayed on, wanting to be remembered. My dad, locked in an embrace with Teagan. They had been kissing, but it was obvious they were planning on going much further.
“None,” Julia replied. “But she’s still the closest thing you’ve had to a mother. That has to count for something.”
“It doesn’t.” I sounded stubborn, but I didn’t care. Every parent I’ve ever known had betrayed me in some way. My mother by leaving, Nora by disclaiming me, my father by cheating and risking the only family I’ve ever had.
“They all suck,” I added. I knew it sounded immature, but after everything I’d been through in the last few months, maybe I deserved a few immature moments here and there. At the end of the day, I was still sixteen. Nothing was going to change that.
“They do,” she agreed. “But you won’t. That’s what matters right now, Lainey. You can’t own your parent’s mistakes, but you can make sure to never make the same ones, for your child’s sake.”
“I’m going to be the worst mom ever,” I predicted. “I don’t even know what a mom is, other than someone who leaves because they want their old life back, or publically disowns you at Thanksgiving dinner.”
“I’ll help you,” Julia promised. “I won’t claim to be the best mom ever, but I think I’ve done a pretty decent job.”
I let Julia embrace me, resting my head on her shoulder. It felt warm and safe in her arms, something I don’t think I’d ever experienced before. Adam made me feel safe, but it was different. I’d read somewhere that there were all different types of love, never two the same. I’d always felt cheated out of a mother’s love, but maybe, at least in this moment, I didn’t have to be.
“I think you should stay here, at least for tonight,” Julia said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “I don’t feel right sending you back tonight, after everything that’s happened, and how you’re feeling.”
“What about Hannah?” I asked, lifting my head up.
“What about her?”
“I don’t want to leave her alone.”
“Hannah will be fine, honey. Does she know?”
I shook my head. “I don’t even know if I should tell her.”
Julia brushed a few strands of hair from my face. “That’s your decision to make, Lainey. I can’t make it for you and honestly, I don’t even know what I’d suggest. It’s a tough one.”
“I just want to protect her,” I admitted.
“I know, but you can’t forever. It’s better you learn that lesson now, before this baby is fourteen and in the midst of their first big crush; you can’t protect the ones you love from everything and everyone that might be out to hurt them.”
The words rang true, but hurt, nonetheless. I wanted to protect Hannah, I had since the moment we became sisters. I was only a few months older than her, but those few months felt more like years sometimes. I wanted to protect this baby in the same way, but at the same time held onto a fear that the only protection they would need would be protection from me.
But as much as I wanted to protect Hannah, I knew I couldn’t tonight. I couldn’t go back to that house, to that family that felt so broken. I let Julia lead me upstairs and into the guest bedroom, a room I’d only seen maybe once or twice, when Adam gave me a brief tour of the house earlier in our relationship.
Julia brought me some of Adam’s clothing to sleep in, and a few towels in case I wanted to shower. She sat at the edge of the bed, and asked me if I needed anything else. She was going to call my dad after she went back downstairs, let him know where I was and that I was safe. It hurt to know that he probably wouldn’t even care, that he’d probably be relieved he didn’t have to deal with me tonight. I wondered what would happen if Julia didn’t call him, if he’d bother trying to search for me, or just assume I was fine.
“Thank you for everything,” I said to Julia as she prepared to leave. Part of me wanted to ask her to stay, at least until I fell asleep, but that seemed like an odd request, even if I kind of believed that maybe she would agree to it. She seemed like that type of person, willing to do whatever she could to ease someone else’s sadness or anxiety.
She turned to me and smiled warmly. “You don’t have to thank me, Lainey. You’re my family now; don’t forget that.” She closed the door behind her.
I took a brief shower, mostly to wash away all the bad feelings the night had caused, changing in the loose white t-shirt and pajama pants, and fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit the pillow. For once, I didn’t dream.
I awoke what felt like minutes later. I could feel a presence in the room, and immediately felt dread. Maybe for once my dad decided to act as a parent, and had come to get me, insisting I was going to sleep in my own bed tonight. I opened my eyes, and found Adam sitting next to me on the bed, watching me carefully.
“Are you awake?” He asked.
I sat up. “Yes. What are you doing?”
“I just got home.” He reached over and smoothed some hair from my face. I hadn’t brushed it after the shower, and it had dried weird. I could feel it sticking out in all places.
“I thought you were sleeping at Nolan’s.”
“I was, but my mom left me a message saying you were here, so I came home.”
“You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to. What’s goi
ng on?” There was concern in his voice, but that was normal anymore. I had no idea when I’d become someone people needed to be concerned about, but it had happened, for whatever reason, and all I could do was ease his worries.
I closed my eyes and groaned. “Can we talk about that in the morning? How was the party?”
Adam laughed, not oblivious to my attempt at changing the subject, but willing to oblige to it. “A disaster. Michelle made a huge scene because she swore the sapphires Hank got her for their anniversary were fake,” he informed me.
“Seriously? In front of all the guests?” It wasn’t all that surprising, not if you’d ever met Mrs. Reeves, or so much as happened to be near her whenever she was in an especially feisty mood.
Adam nodded. “In front of everyone. I guess she already knows that no one actually likes her, so it doesn’t matter how she acts in public, but still. Nolan was embarrassed. He’ll never admit to it, but you can tell.”
“You’re lucky,” I told him suddenly.
He looked caught off guard. “I am?”
“Yeah. Your parents would never have a big fight in the middle of the ocean. And your dad would never cheat on your mom, right?” I suddenly needed to know the answer to that last question, maybe more than any other answer. I needed to know that the Ned Montgomery I’d come to know in bits and pieces over the last month was in no way capable of ever doing to Julia what my father had done to Nora.
“Right,” he agreed, looking more concerned.. “Are you alright?”
I smiled softly and reached over, losing the tie he was still wearing. “I will be. You look so cute in a suit.”
He made a face. “Promise me that when we get married someday, you won’t make me wear one of these.”
“When?” I asked with a smile.
“Yeah, when. Now promise.”
“No way.” I tugged at his tie, pulling him down onto the bed with me. He pulled the blankets over us, and I rested my head on his chest.
“I love you,” I told him, meaning it more than maybe I ever had. This was the safest I’d felt in so long, lying in bed with Adam, knowing that Julia was just down the hall, there for me if I were to need her for anything.
“I love you, too,” he said, kissing the top of my head. “More than anything.”
I took his hand and placed it over my bump. It was comforting, in some way, to have his hand there; as though he were touching me and our baby all at the same time.
“Almost more than anything,” I whispered.
He smiled down at me. “You’re my world, Lainey Winslow. And you’re always going to be.” His voice was husky but strong, his words reassuring and at least in that moment in time, ringing true.
I fell asleep with those words being the last I heard, and slept better than I could ever remember sleeping.
August 22
“It looks like it’s starting to clear up,” Adam said, picking up a long piece of driftwood and studying it. “I wonder where this came from.”
I took the driftwood from him and smiled to myself. “You never know. When we lived in this house really close to the beach in Oregon, when I was maybe five or six, my dad and I used to go to the beach every morning and see what we could find that wasn’t there the day before. We had a really big collection of driftwood at one point.”
Adam reached for my hand. “What happened to it?”
I shook my head. “I don’t remember. I think maybe we left it at that house.” I was fairly certain that was what happened. My dad had never been great at paying rent, and the few times we’d rented really nice houses ended in us being kicked out within a few months.
“That’s sad,” Adam remarked, and for the first time I realized it was. Those little pieces of driftwood, however damaged, were a tangible piece of a memory. It would be nice to have some of them.
“You can take this home with you,” Adam said with a smile. “Hang it right next to your bed, where you can see it, so you have to think of me every night before you go to sleep.”
“I do that anyway,” I admitted. We stopped walking and Adam took the driftwood from me, putting it down on the sand so he could wrap his arms around me.
“You’re all I ever think about,” he confessed. “It’s actually getting to be a problem.”
“Maybe we shouldn’t see each other for a while,” I suggested, not meaning a word of it.
He grinned. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across mine. “I wish we could have been together through the hurricane. I would have shared my water supply with you.”
I laughed. “You’re so generous.”
“I do what I can.” He smoothed back some hair that had gotten lose from my ponytail. This was the first time we had seen each other in three days, the longest stretch of time we’d been apart since we met. It was amazing, how long those two days had felt. Haven was put on lockdown; the hurricane wasn’t bad enough to force evacuation, though it was suggested.
The Montgomery’s had left, going up north to visit family. We’d stayed behind, my dad swearing that if Bella Vista were going down, we’d go down with it. He was being dramatic, but that wasn’t unusual. The only option we had for evacuation was to stay with Nora’s parents anyway, and I was pretty sure she’d rather be taken out by a hurricane than attempt to survive a few days of that.
“I’m just glad I survived,” I said with a laugh. “Being cooped up in a room with Hannah for two days wasn’t any fun.”
“I bet,” he grinned, his white teeth gleaming in the early afternoon sun. “Next time I’ll stop by and get you first. If Nora tries to chase after us and stop us, maybe she’ll get whipped away by the wind.”
“That’s not nice,” I protested.
“Neither is she.”
I couldn’t argue with that. Her dislike for Adam seemed to be growing more with every day we spent together. Over the few days he was gone, she’d taken a few opportunities on lecturing me about getting too serious too fast, but I decided against mentioning that. Adam picked up the driftwood and we continued walking along the beach.
“We have a new guest,” I said after a few minutes. Most of the guests we’d had when the hurricane hit left early, wanting to get home before any potential problems could arise.
“Really?” Adam asked, looking amused. “I thought you tended to get guests pretty often.” He nudged me with his hip.
I grinned at him. “Don’t be smart. This is different. Apparently she wants to stay on for a month at a time, instead of weekly.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I heard my dad and Nora arguing about it. We still get a good amount of guests in early fall, so Nora didn’t really want to have anyone staying on long term and taking up a room, but my dad kept insisting it would probably be better for business.”
“Who won?”
“My dad, surprisingly. He didn’t back down for once.”
“Wow.”
“She seems nice,” I continued. “Really young, maybe twenty or so. She already got a job waitressing somewhere in town, I think that’s one of the reasons Nora couldn’t really turn her down.”
“I don’t understand why she’d want to turn any guests down. Maybe Nora feels threatened.”
I rolled my eyes. “Nora couldn’t feel threatened by someone if she tried. And I think it has more to do with the fact that renting a room monthly is cheaper than renting it by the week. They set it up like that in the beginning, and never had anyone interested in it so they never changed the fees when we started getting guests more regularly.”
“That makes sense. If she’s that young, it might be cool having her around. You could get a break from Hannah every once in a while.”
I smiled. “If anyone takes this new girl as a threat, it’s Hannah. She’s really pretty.”
“Not as pretty as you.”
“You haven’t even met her.”
“I don’t need to. I just have the confidence that I have the
prettiest girlfriend in all of Haven.”
“Her name is Teagan,” I continued, smiling to myself at his flattery. “She’s from Connecticut.”
“How does someone from Connecticut end up in Haven long-term?”
“I think she just wanted something new. I can understand that. Nora said she was brought in by the hurricane, but I think she’s just bitter over losing the argument with my dad.”
“You don’t want to stay in Haven forever?” Adam asked, looking genuinely surprised.
“Maybe not forever.”
“I never want to live anywhere else,” Adam declared. “Visit, yeah, but I always want to live here. It’s home.”
“I don’t think anywhere I’ve ever lived really felt like home,” I admitted. My mind flashed back to that cabin on the beach back in Oregon, but as soon as it appeared, it was gone. I couldn’t even be sure I was remembering it correctly.
He squeezed my hand. “Your home is with me, now.”
“Yeah?”
“Oh yeah. You’re stuck with me forever.”
I smiled and leaned against him as we continued our walk. Nothing sounded better than forever with Adam.
Chapter Seventeen
I woke up the next morning, Adam’s side of the bed empty, like it had been the night we’d slept over at Nolan’s. I rolled over onto his pillow, breathing in the remaining scent of his cologne and smiled to myself. Then I remembered why I was there.
I got up and made the bed so that it looked like it hadn’t been slept in, then changed into the clothes I’d worn the day before and made my way downstairs. I was nervous, though I didn’t know why. I found Adam and Julia sitting at the kitchen table, serious looks on both of their faces, and felt my stomach drop.
“Good morning,” I greeted them, trying to sound as upbeat as possible, like I hadn’t wandered over there the night before in the almost-freezing weather, probably looking like the world as I’d known it had ended. But then, in a way, it had, so maybe my looking that way wasn’t so far off base.
The Consequences of Forever (Lainey) Page 17
