The Consequences of Forever (Lainey)

by Kaitlyn Oruska

  “He seemed like a cool guy. If I give you an hour long back rub later, will you write it for me?”

  I smiled. “No.”

  “Two hours?”

  “No. Do you mind if I finish this? I really don’t want to get stuck doing it all day tomorrow or Wednesday.”

  “Why didn’t you do it over the weekend?” He was still peering over my shoulder, his breath tickling my ear.

  “I was busy all weekend,” I reminded him. “With you.”

  “True.” He nuzzled my neck. “But you like having me around all the time, right? I like having you around all the time.” He bit lightly on my ear lobe, and I pulled away from him.

  “Seriously, Adam. I need to finish this.”

  “Seriously, Lainey, you work too hard. You’re going to be one of those workaholics at whatever job you end up getting, aren’t you?”

  “Probably,” I murmured, finally finishing a paragraph I felt I’d been working on forever and letting out a sigh.

  “You’re done?” Adam asked, sounding hopeful.

  “Just that paragraph. I still have two pages to go.”

  “Okay, well, there’s a time and place for everything.”

  Before I could open another blank document, Adam slammed the computer screen shut and tossed it onto a chair in the corner of the room. “Adam!” I exclaimed. “What if you’d have broken it?”

  “I have good aim.” He rolled me over so I was lying on my back. I glanced over at the door, which was still wide open.

  “No one’s home,” he reassured me. “Mom and Dad went out to dinner and Greg is who cares where. It’s just us.”

  I outlined his face with my fingertip, taking in all of his features. His impossibly dark eyes, his full lips that separated into a grin to show his perfect white teeth. He was the most handsome boy I had ever known, and he was mine. Sometimes, despite the evidence I carried inside me, it was still so hard to believe.

  “How is it possible that I miss you when you’re in the same house as me?” He asked, tilting my chin up and kissing my throat. “I miss you every second we’re not together.”

  “It’s good to miss people,” I said softly, holding him close. “It shows you still care.”

  He lifted his head back up and studied my face. “I could never not care about you.”

  I hadn’t told Adam about the day at the restaurant, seeing Maggie and what she said. It was easier to pretend it hadn’t happened. As far as I knew, Julia hadn’t mentioned anything either.

  “Do you ever think about whether or not we’d still be together if I weren’t pregnant?” I asked. It came out of nowhere. I hadn’t even been thinking that before I said it, and Adam looked as surprised as I felt.

  “Where is this coming from?” He asked.

  “That isn’t an answer,” I replied, suddenly full of insecurities.

  “I’m not going to answer that because it’s ridiculous. I love you, Lainey. I’ve loved you from the day I met you, if not before, and I’ve loved you every day since. How could you even doubt that?”

  I didn’t doubt that. At least, I wasn’t aware of ever doubting it. “I’m sorry,” I apologized.

  Adam pressed his lips against my forehead. “Don’t be,” he whispered against my skin.

  We lay together side by side, entwining out fingers and staring at the ceiling. June suddenly seemed like a lifetime ago. It was getting harder and harder to remember the girl I was then, remember the way it felt to get butterflies the first few weeks together. We’d moved so fast, but it never felt wrong. Nothing about our relationship ever felt wrong.

  “I could have maybe found out the gender at the last appointment,” I said, breaking the silence. Adam looked over at me, surprised. He’d asked me how the appointment went, but I’d just told him everything looked fine, didn’t offer any specifics.

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I thought you’d want to be there. And I guess I’m kind of scared to know.”

  “Why?”

  “It makes it more real. I mean, obviously I know it’s real. But right now it’s just this figurative person that we’re going to meet in a few months; a promise of something to come, but not really here yet. Does that make sense?”

  Adam nodded. “Yeah, it makes sense. And finding out if it’s a boy or a girl adds more description, making it more real.”

  “More definite,” I agreed.

  “It’s okay to be scared. You know that, right?”

  I smiled softly. “I don’t want to be scared.”

  “I’m terrified,” he laughed. “And I get more terrified every time I think about it. I’m going to be a dad, and that feels so unreal. I mean, my dad is so… grown up and mature and ready to take on the world. I don’t know if I’ll ever be that.”

  “You already are.” I didn’t know where I would be without Adam’s support, how I would have been able to handle this situation without him by my side, every step of the way. He was amazing.

  Adam shook his head. “Not the way he is. I guess I always kind of figured that when you grew up, you just magically turned into this new person. I didn’t realize it took so much effort and planning and work to get there.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean.” I rolled onto my side, putting my head on his chest and draping an arm over his stomach. “I always thought I was so ready to grow up and be independent and take on responsibilities. I guess I never really planned on it happening so soon.”

  “We’ll be okay,” Adam promised, kissing the top of my head. “We’ll figure it all out.”

  I closed my eyes and breathed him in, wishing I could absorb his words and make them true. I wanted to believe we would be okay, and when I didn’t think too much about it, I could. But then when I was alone, and the realization started to sink in, I felt overwhelmed. This was really happening.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  “I’m so excited.” Hannah squealed, jumping up and down. We were just outside Nolan’s front door, and I quickly glanced around, making sure no one was watching. The last thing Hannah needed was to embarrass herself before even entering the house.

  Adam raised his eyebrows at her. “Why?”

  “It’s New Year’s Eve and we’re at Nolan’s house. Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for this?”

  I knew exactly how long she had been waiting for this, even though I couldn’t understand why. Adam looked like he was considering asking for details, but seemed to decide against it.

  Nolan threw a big party for New Year’s Eve every year, and last year Hannah sulked for days when she didn’t receive an invite. I was happy for her, but at the same time concerned. She didn’t offer up too much information on what was going on between them, and considering Hannah was always full of too much information, that probably wasn’t a good sign.

  The three of us headed into the house and Nolan greeted us right away. “Hey Adam, Lainey, Hannah.” He shook Adam’s hand, kissed my cheek, and gave Hannah an awkward half-hug. “Glad you could all make it.”

  “We’re probably not staying until midnight,” Adam said, reciting from the lines Hannah had taught him on the ride over. “Lainey needs her rest, being pregnant and all.”

  Nolan nodded. “That’s cool. Hannah? You going to try and make it to midnight?”

  She beamed at him and shook her head. “Afraid not. I promised Lainey I’d spend the night with her and everything.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Well, there’s food and drinks everywhere, alcoholic and otherwise. Have fun.”

  He winked at Hannah and then disappeared in the crowd. Beside me, Hannah sighed. “I have no idea what I did wrong.”

  “Nothing,” I reassured her. “That’s just how he is.”

  “Do you want me to say something to him?” Adam offered.

  “No.” Hannah pouted. “If he doesn’t like me, then he doesn’t like me. I’m going to go find something to drink.” She hurried away before I could say anything else to her. I turned to Adam, feeling
helpless.

  “I hate when he hurts her.”

  “I know, but like you said, that’s Nolan. He saw right through my excuses. He knows Hannah has a curfew and there’s no getting out of it; Nolan isn’t going to go for that.”

  I knew he was right. Nolan was used to getting his way with everyone and everything, and there was no way he was going to date a girl that wasn’t allowed out past eleven, even on New Year’s Eve. “I think I’ll talk to him,” I announced, suddenly full of determination.

  “Lainey, don’t,” Adam warned. “He’s not going to want to hear it, and he’s not going to change his mind. If he doesn’t want to see Hannah, he doesn’t want to see her.”

  “But he does still see her,” I pointed out. It was getting harder to hear him over the music and the sounds of people talking and laughing. “I’ll find you in a bit, okay?” I kissed him quickly and walked away before he could stop me.

  I found Nolan fairly easily; he wasn’t hard to miss. He was talking to a few girls, scantily clothed and gazing at him as if he were a rock star. I walked up to him and tapped him on his shoulder.

  “Lainey,” he said, looking surprised to see me again so soon. “Do you need anything?”

  I nodded, ignoring the looks the other girls were giving me. I recognized them as Maggie’s friends, the ones that were at the restaurant with her the other day. I avoided their eye contact the best I could.

  “I need to talk to you,” I stated. Nolan raised his eyebrows, and the girls made oohing sounds.

  “Alright. Um, I’ll be back.” He winked at the girls and then followed me out of the crowd and into what appeared to be a study. I’d never been in that room before, but it was quiet and seemed to block out most of the noise.

  “I want you to stop leading Hannah on,” I announced as soon as he closed the door behind us.

  “What?”

  “Stop leading Hannah on. She’ll kill me if she knows I’m telling you this, but she really likes you, and it hurts her when you lead her on and then ignore her.”

  “I don’t ignore her,” he protested.

  “Really? Then what do you call the way you greeted her tonight? You barely even looked at her.”

  “I don’t know what she told you, but she isn’t my girlfriend.”

  “Maybe that’s the problem.” I crossed my arms over my chest, feeling stronger and braver than I actually was. “Either make her your girlfriend, or leave her alone.” I knew I was way out of place making a demand like that, but Nolan seemed more taken aback than insulted.

  “Is that what she wants?” He asked.

  I blinked; surprised he was even asking that. He could tell I was caught off guard, and smiled slightly.

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I know she likes you, and I know she wants more than to make out every once in a while. And I realize I’m way out of place right now, but she’s my stepsister and my best friend and I love her, and I don’t want to see her hurt.”

  “I don’t want to see her hurt, either,” Nolan admitted. He walked over to a couch near the grand fireplace, and sat down, motioning for me to join him.

  “You don’t?” I asked, sitting on the opposite end, careful to keep a good amount of space between us.

  “Of course not. Hannah is a sweet girl. We have a lot of fun together.”

  “But?”

  “But,” he grinned sheepishly. “I don’t know if she’s my type. I mean, like I said, she’s sweet and a lot of fun, but she isn’t at the same level as all the other girls I date, if you know what I mean.”

  “You mean she won’t sleep with you.”

  “That sounds a lot worse said out loud, but yeah.”

  “That’s horrible,” I protested, shaking my head at him. I stood up, considering leaving, but then changed my mind. “Is that all you care about, whether or not a girl is going to sleep with you?”

  “Right now? Yeah. I don’t need anything serious.”

  “Why? Because the girl could get pregnant and you’d end up stuck with her?” I demanded.

  “What? No. I didn’t mean that at all.” He stood up. “Look, Lainey, I think what you and Adam have is pretty great and to be completely honest, sometimes I’m a little jealous. But I don’t want that. Not now.”

  “Jealous?” I repeated. “Why?”

  Nolan looked embarrassed. “Who wouldn’t be? Adam adores you, and it’s clear you feel the same way about him. Any guy would want a girl that worships him the way you do.”

  I wasn’t so sure worship was a good word for how I felt about Adam, but this was Nolan I was talking to, so I decided to let it slide.

  “Hannah could be that girl,” I pointed out. Nolan studied my face for a moment, and something I didn’t understand and couldn’t describe passed between us.

  “Maybe,” he agreed, breaking off eye contact. “Maybe.”

  I swallowed against a lump that had formed unexpectantly in my throat. “Well, I guess I’m going to go find Adam now.”

  I turned to leave, but right before I reached for the door, Nolan spoke again. “Lainey?”

  I turned slightly. “Yeah?”

  “I’m really not as bad as you think I am.” His voice sounded soft, almost wounded.

  I stood still for a moment, considering that. “Okay,” I said, opening the door and walking out. I wasn’t sure if I believed him, but the conversation was over as far as I could tell.

  I spent the next ten minutes looking for a familiar face in a crowd that seemed to have multiplied within the last few seconds. I finally spotted Adam, and immediately froze in my tracks. A mane of long, curly dark hair caught my eye, and attached to it was Maggie. And attached to Maggie was Adam; or at least one of his arms.

  I walked over to them slowly, suddenly feeling more out of place than I could remember feeling in a while. Parties were never my thing, and seemed even sillier now that I was four months pregnant, but being with Adam carried a certain amount of confidence with it; a confidence I could quickly feel dissipating.

  I wound over to his other side, and a look of relief crossed his face when he saw me. “Lainey, hey,” he said, pulling his arm away from Maggie. She pouted and glared at me.

  Adam reached for me and pulled me close to him, as if protecting me from something. I forced myself to make eye contact with Maggie. It was the best way to show her I wasn’t afraid of her, even if maybe in some ways I was.

  “I’m surprised you’re out this late,” she remarked, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “Shouldn’t you be in bed, preparing to give birth?” The girls immediately around her laughed.

  “Shut up, Maggie,” Adam said.

  “That wasn’t what you were saying a few minutes ago, and definitely not what you were saying a few months ago,” she replied suggestively. More laughter from her friends.

  Adam clenched his jaw and glared at her. “You’re not impressing anyone but yourself and your little clones.”

  “I used to impress you,” she reminded him. “Before you decided you wanted a goody two-shoes. Guess that didn’t really work out the way you were expecting, now did it?”

  “It’s working out just fine,” he retorted.

  I tugged on his arm. “Adam, let’s go.”

  He shook his head. “We just got here.”

  “Why don’t you go drop your wife off and come back?” Maggie suggested. “I’ll be here all night.”

  “Why don’t you shut the hell up?” Hannah appeared from out of nowhere, and shoved Maggie back. “Seriously. Your voice is the most annoying thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

  Maggie stumbled, but caught herself before she fell. “You’re going to regret that, bitch,” she warned. For once, her words weren’t followed by laughter from her friends. They were all staring at her, wide-eyed, as if waiting for a sign about what to do next.

  Hannah stepped towards her again, but Adam let go of me in order to grab her, holding her back. “She isn’t worth it, Hannah,” he said in a low voice.

&nbs
p; “Wow, Lainey. I knew you were good at making trap babies, but I didn’t know you had trained guard dogs, too.” Maggie didn’t miss a beat, adjusting her too-low shirt and smirking at me.

  “Don’t go there, Maggie,” Adam warned.

  “Where, the truth? You know it as well as I do, Adam. Little Lainey over there was terrified of losing you to a real woman once you went off to college, so she got herself knocked up so you’d feel obligated to stick with her. Isn’t that right, Lainey?”

  I instinctively reached for his arm, feeling all the muscles tighten up as I did. “You’re lucky you’re a girl,” he snapped.

  She grinned. “Yeah, I remember thinking that a few months ago,” she agreed, smirking at me.

  “Remember, Lainey. When Adam gets tired of playing house with you and your trap baby, give him my number, okay?” She shot Hannah one more cold stare and then turned, becoming part of the crowd, with her posse of friends following close behind.

  “What was she talking about?” Adam demanded.

  “Nothing,” I said, just as Hannah began telling the real story.

  “We ran into her at the restaurant with your mom, and she told Lainey to tell you, well, what she just said.” She shot me an apologetic look.

  Adam stared at me in disbelief. “And you didn’t think that was worth mentioning?”

  “Honestly, no,” I admitted. “I didn’t want to feed in to her.”

  He shook his head. “She’s so ridiculous, it’s unbelievable.”

  “You’re the one who slept with her,” Hannah pointed out, wrinkling her nose. “I swear, sometimes men have no taste.”

  I looked at Adam and frowned. “She has a point.”

  “What the hell?” Adam threw his arms up in frustration. “That was forever ago!”

  “Well, sometimes forever isn’t that long,” I replied, hating how true those words had the potential to be. Adam gave me a hurt look, as if he suspected a double meaning, and I quickly looked away. The night that had promised to be so fun and stress-free had turned out to be exactly opposite, and I didn’t know why I was so surprised.

  Hannah entwined her arm in mine, and we stormed away from him, out the front door, and back out into the cold, almost January night. We sat at the curb in front of Nolan’s house and stared up at the sky, which wasn’t clear that night. Few stars sparkled. Less than an hour in, and the party had already stopped being exciting.