Autumn Dreams

by Gayle Roper

  It was a great relief to learn that Mom suffered no internal injuries, only a broken clavicle. She had to remain in the hospital for two or three nights to be certain she was as fine as the doctor thought. After all, she wasn’t a young woman.

  “While we move her to her room, why don’t you all—” the doctor indicated the family spread around the waiting room—“go to the cafeteria and get something to eat. Give us thirty minutes, then come up to Room 215.”

  “I can’t stay with her while you move her?” Dad asked.

  “Not for the next half hour. Go. Eat. We don’t want you getting sick. Then you can stay with her as long as you like. We can even put a cot in the room if you want to spend the night.”

  In the cafeteria the adults clustered around one table, joined by Pastor Paul, and the cousins and Paulie sat at another. Warmed-over pizza and premade sandwiches were all that was left to eat, and Cass thought longingly of the roast left sitting on the kitchen table. Maybe tomorrow night. But wait. Tomorrow night she was supposed to go to Cape May on her reconnaissance trip. And on Wednesday at noon seven people were due to arrive for a three-day planning retreat for their software company. If Hurricane Rodney didn’t keep them away.

  Immediately guilt and indecision gripped her. Should she forget her trip? Send the seven people to another B&B? Certainly if Mom were seriously hurt, she wouldn’t go out of town, even though she was only talking a little over an hour to Cape May. If Mom were in a life-and-death situation, she’d gladly send her guests elsewhere. But what was required for the present situation? Would she be a terrible daughter if she wasn’t at the hospital every waking moment?

  At that instant Will looked over at her from his seat across the table. “It’s a good thing you’re around to take care of Mom. She’s going to need help.”

  “Yeah,” Hal agreed. “It’s a godsend that you’ve got the time to give her.”

  Cass felt Dan stiffen beside her as she digested the brothers’ comments. She had lots of free time? Her eyes narrowed. She worked just like they did, maybe even harder since it was her own business, not some large, faceless corporation that employed her.

  Even if she didn’t go to Cape May, time was an issue. Seven people were coming the day after tomorrow. Seven single rooms. Food to buy and prepare. The dining room to rearrange so they could eat together. Lunches thrown into the deal for a very nice increase in her usual price. Dinners for Dan and the kids. Rodney coming and the need to prepare SeaSong to ride it out with seven guests plus Dan and the kids.

  Dad frowned at Will and Hal. “I think taking care of Charlotte is my job, not Cass’s.”

  “Well, sure, Dad,” Will said. “But Cass will be available to you day or night if you need her.” He smiled at her. “Right, BB?”

  Dan leaned toward Cass and whispered for her ear alone, “It’s up to you. I’ll back you, but it’s up to you.”

  He was right; she knew it. She wanted to stand up for herself; she truly did. She had to if the brothers were ever to understand that she was one of five siblings, all of whom owed Mom and Dad their time. She took a deep breath but didn’t know how to begin without sounding selfish.

  Pastor Paul studied Cass for a minute. “Maybe Cass doesn’t have any more available time than you do, Will. Maybe you’re putting an unfair burden on her.”

  Will blinked, clearly startled at the idea.

  “After all,” Pastor Paul continued, “she runs her own business, and everyone knows that running a B&B takes over your life. Then she’s got Jared and Jenn living with her on top of that.”

  “And me,” Dan said. “Plus she’s got a business trip scheduled tomorrow night and seven guests arriving on Wednesday.”

  “She won’t mind postponing her trip, will you, BB?” Hal smiled and took a bite of his ice cream Popsicle. He clearly thought the issue settled.

  Maybe it was Hal’s assumption that she’d do as he wanted. Maybe it was hearing the hated BB another time. Maybe it was the residual adrenaline from witnessing Mom’s accident. Whatever, the dam broke.

  Cass stood and stuck her finger in Hal’s face. Her voice was low and angry. “Don’t ever call me BB again.”

  Hal blinked, his face frozen. He turned to Will with a where-did-that-come-from look. “But we’ve called you that all your life.”

  “Well, I’ve hated it all my life.” Her voice shook. “I know you didn’t mean anything nasty, but it is still a terrible thing to call someone, meaning what it means.”

  “It doesn’t mean anything anymore,” Hal protested.

  “It does to me. Every time I hear it, I cringe inside. I’m telling you both.” She looked from brother to brother. “Never again. I mean it. Never again.”

  “I hate to say I told you so, Will, but I told you so,” Lucy said. “I’ve told you for years it hurts her feelings.”

  “But she never said,” Will defended.

  “All you ever had to do was look at her face,” Lucy told him.

  “Then what do we call her?” Hal asked in a tone that just missed whining.

  “Cass,” she hissed. “Call me Cass. After all, it is my name.” And she sat down before her shaking knees gave way. She was appalled at herself. What kind of a daughter made a big deal out of a stupid nickname while her mother was being admitted to the hospital?

  In the ensuing silence everyone avoided Cass’s eyes as they gathered their trash and quickly left the table until only Cass and Dan remained.

  She turned to Dan. “Did I just make an idiot of myself?”

  He gave a little laugh. “It wasn’t quite what I expected you to say.”

  “It wasn’t what I expected me to say either.” She covered her face with her shaking hands.

  “Hey, don’t let it worry you.” He pulled her hands from her face and held them. He leaned close to her until their faces were only inches apart. “You said what needed to be said. This may not have been the best time, but it wasn’t the worst either.”

  She let her forehead drop to rest on his. “Thanks. What would I do without you?”

  When they finally stumbled home after the nurse made everyone but Dad leave Mom’s room, Cass rescued her dried roast and wrinkled vegetables and stored them in the refrigerator to resurrect another day. She sent Paulie home, Jenn and Jared upstairs, and reveled in a comforting hug from Dan. Somehow his hug made the unbearable bearable. What would she do without him? It didn’t abide thinking about, especially when he was holding her like she was precious. She told herself to just enjoy the moment. The future would come soon enough. Finally, he kissed her good night and took himself upstairs too.

  Cass stumbled into her little room beneath the stairs and pulled on her nightshirt, the one that read She sells seashells down by the Seaside. She stuffed her feet into cozy socks. Glossy Flossie might keep her warm through the middle as the animal cuddled against her, but her feet were constantly freezing without the socks. Not very classy, but then who would see?

  Cass sighed as she climbed into her little bed. She burrowed under the covers, Glossy Flossie purring comfortably in her arms. She buried her face in the cat’s soft fur and let the rhythmic rise and fall of Flossie’s contented purr and the sensuous feel of the silky coat comfort her.

  She’d been so sure she’d seen her mother killed.

  Thank You, God. Thank You!

  Then she’d taken her stand against BB.

  And thank You, Lord, for loving even us idiots.

  And what had she been thinking when she assumed taking in the kids would mean just a couple of extra bodies around? Talk about ignorant! And talk about feeling overwhelmed!

  Add Dan to the pot, and life was a full rolling boil. Dan. She felt such an aching, such a yearning that her throat hurt. How she loved him.

  Her breath caught. She loved him.

  The realization burst over her like the Fourth of July fireworks, all color and enchantment, filling her with wonder that the magic had finally exploded for her.

  She loved him
with all her heart.

  And he would leave her.

  The bright swirls of color filling her heart fizzled and died.

  Lord, I’m terrified and full of awe at the same time. I’m so afraid of when he leaves. Before when my heart wanted a soul mate, it was just a vague feeling of longing for what I saw so many others have, including the brothers. I felt left out, out of step, but there was no one I focused on, no unrequited love. Now my longing has a name. I can’t believe that such a wonderful man exists and that he seems to choose to be with me. Me!

  And then he’ll choose to leave, just as soon as You tell him what it is You want him to know. And I’ll be worse off than before because I’ll have had a taste of a man I could love for the rest of my life.

  And tears fell, much to Cass’s surprise. She wasn’t a weepy woman. She toughed things out. She didn’t cry. But her cheeks were still wet when she fell asleep.

  She awoke to the raucous blast of the smoke alarm and a choking cloud of smoke.

  Twenty-Four

  AT THE SOUND OF the alarm, Cass sat bolt upright in bed. Immediately she smelled smoke, lots of it. In the darkness of her little cell, she couldn’t see it, but she felt it in the heaviness of the air around her. Smoke. Terrible sulfur-smelling smoke! Fire!

  Get out! Get out! Grab Flossie and get out. Get the kids out. Get Dan out.

  She reached for the light on the tiny table by the bed. In her haste and fright, she knocked against the lamp, and it went tumbling over the far side of the table to crash in the tiny square of space between the bureau and the wall. Even over the blare of the alarm she heard the pop as the bulb shattered.

  In blackness she slid from bed onto the narrow alley of floor, barely registering the chill in the November air. She knew she had to be low to stay under the worst of the fumes, to find air that was safe to breathe. Keeping her head down, she reached up, feeling for Flossie who lay sleeping somewhere in the blankets, oblivious of the bleating alarm. Cass had thought the animal was going deaf, but now she knew for certain. No creature with working ears could miss the cacophony of the alarm.

  She felt all over the comforter without finding Flossie. She took a deep breath, rose up on her knees, and threw the comforter over the foot of the bed, no easy task in her position. She skimmed the blanket with her hands. No Flossie. She threw it back too and felt wildly about. She was running out of air and time. Her hand smacked into a pile of warm fur that grunted at the slug she’d inadvertently given it. Cass grabbed the startled cat, tucked her under one arm, and dropped back to all fours to crawl out of the room.

  She’d taken no more than two steps when the door to her room burst open. Dan rushed in, bringing very dim light from the kitchen and setting the thick smoke to swirling wildly in the new air currents.

  “Cass! Cass!” he yelled, then tripped over the foot of the bed. With a yelp of pain he sprawled full length where a minute or two before she had slept.

  She could hear Jenn and Jared calling her name from the smoke-shrouded kitchen. She yelled, “I’m coming! Go outside! Go!”

  “Cass!” Dan was flailing around in the bed, searching for her, and she realized he couldn’t see her down on the floor.

  “I’m here,” she shouted over the bleat of the alarm, reaching up and slapping at the bed. She connected with his leg, stinging her hand.

  Dan growled something and rolled off the empty bed right on top of her. As his weight hit her, she collapsed facedown in the tiny space between the bed and the dresser, her hip, already sore from the fall by her mother’s car, catching one of the dresser knobs as she fell. Pain. Then all the air whooshed from her lungs as Dan landed on top of her, his feet dangling in her face.

  Flossie, caught beneath Cass, let out a fierce howl at the indignity of being squashed and began to claw her way free. The animal had only her rear claws, but her desperation made them more than enough.

  “Ouch, ouch, ouch!” Cass yelled as fiery scratches burned down her arm. She managed to lift her upper body enough to free the cat who streaked from the room. She collapsed immediately as Dan squirmed, trying to turn toward the door in a space not meant for anyone his size to move.

  “Out!” Dan swatted at her.

  “Off,” Cass gasped, elbowing him in the solar plexus.

  Dan groaned and shifted to the side as much as he could, which wasn’t much. “Just get out,” he yelled. “The smoke is gathering in here.” He coughed, a deep, ugly rasp, and scrambled to turn himself around, kicking her a couple of times in the process.

  Cass pulled herself forward on her elbows like a soldier under fire. When she was free from the bulk of his weight, she got back to her knees and began crawling. Her head spun, her lungs burned with the effects of the smoke, and her stomach heaved at the noxious rotten egg smell.

  “Hurry.” Dan’s hand found her rump and pushed. He coughed some more.

  Cass crawled into and across the kitchen and out the door the kids had left open behind them. Once outside she got to her feet and headed for the sycamore. The clean, cold air washed over her. Sinking to her knees, she pressed her hands to her aching chest and breathed it in. Wonderful!

  “I called 911,” Jenn said, holding her cell phone in Cass’s face. “I called them as soon as I got outside.”

  Cass looked up at Jenn, who had on a fuzzy blue robe and white bunny slippers.

  “Good girl. Thanks, Jenn.” She reached out and patted a bunny slipper. But was a cell phone the first thing to grab in case of fire?

  Beside her, still on his hands and knees, Dan inhaled and coughed, inhaled and coughed.

  “Are you okay?” She laid her hand on his back as, head down, he struggled for breath.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.” His voice was raspy, but he was obviously breathing more easily all the time. He turned and sat, leaning his back against the tree. She turned and propped herself against the tree beside him. They stared at the house as they waited for the fire engines.

  Poor firemen, Cass thought. All volunteers, pulled out of bed in the middle of the night.

  “Where’s the fire?” Jared asked after a few minutes. “There’s no fire.”

  “What do you mean?” Cass stared at SeaSong. As far as she could see, Jared was right. “But all the smoke—” It poured out the back door and out the window over the kitchen sink.

  Jared, wearing only old sweatpants that looked as if they’d lost all their elastic or their drawstring and threatened to slip off his narrow hips at any minute, walked to one side of the house and then the other. “Something’s weird here.” He disappeared down the side yard.

  “Be careful!” Cass called after him. A gust of chill wind whipped by. She wrapped her arms about herself in a futile attempt to keep warm. She wanted the throw that Paulie had brought for Mom. She looked down at her She sells seashells down by the Seaside nightshirt and shivered. If it wouldn’t keep her warm in bed under the covers unless the cat cuddled against her, there wasn’t a ghost of a chance it’d do much good out here. At least she had her heavy socks on. Poor Dan’s bare feet must be freezing. He sat beside her dressed in a t-shirt and jeans.

  Cass shuddered, and Dan slid his arm around her shoulders. “Lean in. We’ll keep each other warm.”

  Cass leaned, angling so her back rested against part of Dan’s chest. Immediately his body heat eased her shivering. He rested his cheek against Cass’s head, and she closed her eyes to enjoy his nearness.

  “I’m just glad there aren’t any other guests,” she said, thinking of the chaos and danger if there had been. “And thank goodness the insurance is paid.”

  Dan’s arm tightened about her. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” he said softly. Then his voice turned rough. “You scared me to death.”

  She turned and looked at him. “Do what?”

  “The kids were both out in the yard when I hit the kitchen, but you weren’t anywhere in sight. All that smoke, so dense in the kitchen, and your closed door. I thought my heart would stop.”

&
nbsp; “Yeah?” Sorry as she was that he’d been worried, she definitely felt toasty at that revelation. “And that’s when you crashed into my room?”

  “That’s when I came to save you,” he corrected, kissing the top of her head.

  Jared reappeared on the far side of the house. “Still no fire. And there’s only smoke in the back. Could be the way the wind’s blowing or something. I went up on the front porch and peered in the door and windows. No smoke.”

  Dan hauled himself to his feet, and Cass felt the loss of his heat immediately. Sighing, she climbed to her feet too. She could hear the sirens drawing closer by the second.

  “You’re right, Jared,” Dan said. “Now that I’m thinking more clearly, there was no smoke until I pushed the door open to the kitchen. Then there was plenty, and it smelled like rotten eggs.”

  “Reminds me of a chemistry experiment gone bad,” Jared said.

  Cass studied SeaSong. Jared and Dan were right. Something was weird here.

  Jared pointed. “How’d the kitchen window get broken? Did any of you break it?”

  Cass, Jenn, and Dan shook their heads as they followed Jared and stood staring at the kitchen window, or rather the place where the window had been. All that remained in the lower sash were a few shards sticking out at varying angles like transparent knives.

  “Maybe the heat from the fire blew it out?” Cass suggested.

  “What heat?” Dan shuddered with the cold. “There’s no heat, just like there’s no flames.” He started toward the kitchen door.

  Cass grabbed his arm. “Where are you going?”

  “If there’s no heat and no flames, there’s no fire. I want to see what’s going on.”

  “Yeah, me too.” Jared was excited, ready to race into the house with Dan.

  Cass grabbed Jared with her other hand. She glared at them both. “Let the firemen go in first! They’re almost here.”

  Even as she spoke, Greg Barnes pulled up to SeaSong for the second time that night. The fire department was right on his bumper. Men in their heavy coats, boots, and hats filled the yard. One shooed Cass, Dan, and the kids back out of their way. Others grabbed the hoses and attached them to the nearby hydrant. Neighbors who had begun appearing at the sound of the blaring alarm gathered in little groups, whispering among themselves. All the commotion almost drowned out the still bleating alarm.