Always Yours

by Grace Owens

  “So how was your night?” Hanna asked with a smirk as I walked in behind Allie.

  She must have taken a shower, her blonde curls now wet as she walked up to grab her coffee from Allie. Even though she didn’t seem as well off as Allie this morning, she still looked a hell of a lot better than I felt. Hanna could have been a swimsuit model on a normal day, but today she looked like a model that had been up partying all night; which was sort-of true.

  “It was fine,” I mumbled in response, not really knowing what else to say. My whole body was aching and my head was still pounding; all I really wanted to do was to go back to sleep and not wake up for the next month or so.

  “That’s all you have to say?” Allie asked wide-eyed, digging through her luggage before she handed me a bottle of aspirin. “You left us last night to hang out with a guy, Gertie. That’s huge. So after spending the whole night with him, all you have to say about it is ‘fine?’”

  “Yes,” I answered hesitantly. “Look, I met a guy. He was handsome. We did things we shouldn’t have and now I’m back. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right?”

  “Could you at least give us his name?” Hanna asked. Then she gestured zipping her lips, locking them and throwing the key away, saying, “Then I promise I will never speak of this again. But I mean, we kinda have the right to know since you left my bachelorette party to hang out with a stranger. Which is sort of dangerous, by the way. If it hadn’t been for the constant text messages and pictures you sent me, we probably would have gone to the police. People disappear here.” She went on a rant as Allie nodded her head in agreement.

  “But of course, if you were to ever bring him up, we’ll be here to listen eagerly,” Allie filled in.

  “Okay, his name is Tyler.” That was what he had told me last night, so it was only a half-lie. I hated lying to the girls, but I just couldn’t tell them the truth for some reason. How could I possibly tell them that I had gotten married? Me, the future cat lady? And to a stranger without inviting my two best friends on top of that. There was just no way.

  ”What does he look like?” Allie asked excitedly.

  ”Allie,” I started, flopping down on the small couch, knowing this would be a much longer conversation. They had promised only to question his name, that was it, but the look in her eyes made me continue. Maybe it would feel better to talk about him, to get him out of my system. ”He’s tall, he’s got this weird looking hair that is all over the place and his eyes are a creepy shade of blue.”

  ”Creepy?” Hanna asked, raising her perfectly shaped eyebrows. “You left the club with a guy that has creepy eyes?”

  Well, they had been creepy back in the day. But now, I didn’t know what they were except for the fact that they were blue.

  ”Just blue, then,” I said, hoping that would satisfy her enough.

  ”Hmm,” Allie hummed, ”What color is his hair?”

  ”I don’t really know.” I shrugged my shoulders. ”Auburn?”

  ”Was he good in bed?” Hanna asked bluntly, catching me off guard.

  I could feel my cheeks burn as the blush rose from my neck up to my face. I didn’t even know why they would assume I did anything with the guy that involved the bed. ”I’m not going to answer that.”

  ”It’s an honest question,” she defended and Allie nodded. ”You obviously did something with the man judging by the way you look and the glow on your face.”

  ”It doesn’t matter, I’m still not going to discuss that,” I said, partly because I couldn’t even remember half of my night and also because I was ashamed. ”It’s too private.”

  ”We tell you all the time,” Allie whined disappointingly.

  “Have I ever asked you to?” She shook her head. “I’m sorry, but I really don’t want to talk about it.”

  “Did he hurt you?” Hanna asked carefully after a while.

  “No,” I said, shaking my head. He hadn’t hurt me last night as far as I could remember, at least not in a bad way. I was sure I would remember that.

  “I love you,” Hanna said, standing up to hug me.

  “And so do I,” Allie said, joining us. It felt good to be squished between my two best friends. Especially after the night I just had. “And I’m proud of you for stepping out of your comfort zone last night, even though it was a little bit further than we had expected.”

  My left hand felt heavy with the weight of the rings as if to remind me that they were still there, that I was legally bound to Cailean as his wife. I hid my hand out of view from prying eyes. If one of the girls saw them, I would never live it down.

  “Thank you,” I whispered, feeling tears burn behind my eyelids.

  “Okay, let’s get you in the shower and then we can go get something to eat,” Hanna said, helping me up from the couch.

  Eating was the last thing I wanted to do, but we had one more day here in Vegas and having left the girls last night, I felt the need to spend some time with them.

  ↞ ♥ ↠

  Standing in the shower, I broke down. The reality of what had happened hit me like a ton of bricks and the tears flowed down my cheeks like a river. I was married. Not only that, but I was married to the only person I truly hated. The guy who had made my school years absolutely miserable. How had I not noticed that he wasn’t who he said he was? Had I really been that drunk? Bits and pieces of my memory had been coming back since I had first woken up, but it still wasn’t enough to answer all my questions.

  The hot water cascading down my back made me remember his hands on me – slow and gentle yet eager as if he hadn’t been able to get enough. Embarrassingly enough, I also remembered my own eagerness to feel someone touch me in such a way and how it had felt so much more amazing than anything I had ever felt before.

  I wish I could remember more.

  I wanted to know how I could have been so foolish as to fall for his game. I knew who Cailean Baker was, what he had looked like, how he’d spoken with a soft British accent that made every girl in school fawn over him. Everyone except me, that was. Yet, here I was, married to the guy.

  As I stepped out of the shower, the rings were twinkling and staring at me from the bathroom counter. I had finally gotten them off my fingers, mostly because they looked so expensive and I didn’t know what a shower might do to them. I didn’t have any words to describe them – that was how beautiful they were. Small flashes of our trip to the jewelry store were coming back, but I wasn’t sure if it was more of a dream than my actual memory.

  ”Those,” I’d said, my eyes wide as I’d looked at the rings before me. It was a set of two rings – one engagement ring and a wedding band – the band thin just like the engagement ring, but unlike the engagement ring, the band didn’t have a big round cut halo diamond on it.

  I’d tried them on and they had fit so perfectly, almost as if they had been made for my small fingers. I’d turned my hand to look at the rings in different angles and caught sight of the price tag.

  ”Maybe not, after all,” I’d said reluctantly, feeling my mind sober up a little bit, and had taken the rings off with such care as if they had been my first born child.

  ”Why not, love?” Tyler had asked in confusion. I wasn’t going to admit that there was no way I could afford those rings, no matter how pretty they were. I could manage with a ring from a vending machine since it was obvious that this place wouldn’t be in my price range whatsoever. As if he had read my mind, Tyler had added, ”If it’s the fucking price you’re so worried about, you can stop. I told you to choose anything in this store and I meant it. You’re my wife and you deserve something beautiful.”

  I tilted my head to look at him, to see if he was really serious or not – there was no way a man would ever spend so much money on a couple of rings. An odd sense of familiarity had struck me as I looked into his eyes, but I’d quickly pushed it away as I saw him nod to the sales person.

  ”Tyler,” I’d hissed, ”Those rings are worth more than what I make in a year. You can’
t possibly buy them just like that.”

  ”Of course I can,” he’d said with a big smirk on his face. He had bent down and kissed me quickly, his lips lingering on mine a moment longer before going over to the cash register to pay, leaving me too dazed and too stunned beyond words to be able to stop him.

  I let out a big sigh and shook my head at the rings. There was no way I could wear them – one, they were way too expensive and knowing my luck, I would do something to lose them, and secondly, they belonged to Cailean and I would have to find a way to give them back to him along with this marriage.

  “So, are you going to see him again?” Hanna asked, slurping her milkshake.

  We were sitting at a diner, eating greasy food and talking about her wedding. Even though I hadn’t been hungry, I had to admit that the French fries tasted heavenly and I felt so much better than when I had woken up this morning.

  “Who?” I asked, not wanting to even think about Cailean anymore. I had realized shortly after tucking my rings away in a safe place that I had no way of returning them to him – I didn’t have his number and who knew where he lived these days? Sure, I could probably look him up, but he didn’t deserve the extra effort it would take me to find him.

  I was more than okay with not seeing him again… ever.

  “Don’t play dumb, Gertie,” Allie chided me as if I was one of her kindergarteners. “You know who.”

  “How? I live in Washington and he lives God knows where,” I answered.

  “So can we still set you up with Sebastian’s cousin?” Hanna asked excitedly.

  Wow, they sure were on a roll. I had finally had sex with a guy after years of interfering from my friends and now they thought I would do it again so soon? I thought for sure I had bought some time off from the pestering.

  “No,” I answered in a short tone.

  Sebastian, Hanna’s fiancé, was a nice guy, so it had nothing to do with him, but I was done. I needed to accept the situation I was in and move on. Sex was obviously too complicated for me since I had ended up with jerks both times it had happened for me.

  Yeah, I was done.

  Chapter 3

  ◆◆◆

  ONE WEEK AFTER getting back home from our adventurous Vegas trip, Hanna was standing in front of a mirror, trying hard not to bawl her eyes out. She looked so beautiful that I would be surprised if Sebastian didn’t cry when he would see her in just a few moments.

  Her ivory lace dress was fitted snugly against her upper body, flattering her more than any other dress she had ever worn, and the bottom flowed out from her knees. I believed they had called it a mermaid dress when we had been to the bridal shop and now I understood why – she looked like one taken right out of some magical movie.

  “Gertie, dear, will you hand me the veil, please?” Hanna’s mother, Eleanor, asked me and snapped me out of my staring. She was a small woman, but she had Hanna’s bright blue eyes and blonde hair; although it now had a silver hint to it.

  “Yes, of course,” I answered, scrambling around the room in a haze, trying to find the veil. I was a horrible bridesmaid, not knowing a thing about weddings – my own having been done in a drunken state in front of Elvis, or at least I assumed it had been since I still couldn’t remember the ceremony.

  “Here,” Allie said, handing me the veil.

  “Thank you.” I gave her a shy smile.

  I watched as Eleanor put the veil in Hanna’s blonde curls that were hanging around her shoulders. The moment was so intimate that it made me feel a pang of jealousy. I didn’t consider myself married at all. I hadn’t seen Cailean since I had walked out on him that morning, the rings were tucked away safely in my jewelry box in my bathroom and as far as I was concerned, my last name was still Anderson. Still, technically and legally - at least by what he had told me and I had a feeling he wasn’t lying - I was married to Cailean Baker and I didn’t remember much of what had happened that night. While I didn’t have a mother to put a veil in my hair, I did have a father to walk me down the aisle. No matter if he wanted to or not.

  I pushed my feelings aside. Today was Hanna’s day and my focus needed to be on her, not myself. At least until the wedding was over and she was on her way to her honeymoon – two weeks of vacation in Paris. She was a lucky girl who was about to marry the man of her dreams, someone who knew her for who she was, unlike me who had practically married a stranger. Still, a honeymoon in Paris to add to her fairytale wedding was something almost every girl would want.

  Hanna’s wedding was held in her parents’ garden and I couldn’t blame her for wanting to have it here – it was huge, beautifully decorated with flowers and to top it all off, it was by the waterfront. Hanna’s parents were rich and they had no problem showing it off to people, so when Hanna had made the decision to move from New York to Washington State for college, her parents had bought this home as a vacation home – although, I would have called it a vacation mansion.

  As we stood about to go down the aisle, I tried not to focus on anything but the rolled out mat in front of me and my goal - the makeshift altar. Hanna had forced us to wear high heels, saying that it made us walk more feminine. This might have been true for Allie who didn’t mind heels one bit, but for me, it was like seeing a newly born foal trying to walk, which wasn’t a pretty sight. I had tried to practice, but no matter how many times I had walked down my hallway, my walk was nowhere near catwalk ready, especially not on grass. Vegas had been enough for my high heels adventure.

  The music started and I almost sank to my knees, overcome by my weak nerves. The wedding planner reminded us for the hundredth time to walk slowly because people wanted to enjoy watching us. “Although, don’t walk like snails,” she said, sending me a look. I gave her a curt nod and started walking, my mind too busy focusing on my walk to notice much of anything.

  I was vaguely aware of Sebastian who was standing at the altar. I had seen him earlier in the morning, as handsome as ever. It would definitely be interesting to see how Hanna and Sebastian’s kids turned out because Sebastian had black hair, curly just like Hanna’s; however, his eyes were brown where hers was blue. He looked like a black-haired Ken doll while Hanna looked like a Barbie doll. Match made in heaven if you asked me.

  After an agonizing walk that felt like it was miles long, I finally reached my destination beside Allie and then Olivia, Hanna’s other bridesmaid who I didn’t know much about other than she was a co-worker of Hanna’s who hadn’t been able to make it to Vegas with us, joined us to my right. I mentally patted my back and felt a small smile of pride on my lips and I finally dared to move my eyes up from my flowers, only to land on a pair of bright blue eyes that were twinkling with amusement.

  No.

  I felt my knees buckle and luckily for me, Olivia caught my arm before I fell to the ground.

  “Are you okay?” she asked in a whisper, her voice full of concern. “Don’t lock your knees, it will make you faint.”

  “I’m alright,” I lied.

  My mind was racing with questions as to why he was here, but when the music turned into the wedding march, it didn’t matter why Cailean was here or how he had gotten here, I wasn’t going to let him destroy my best friend’s wedding. I couldn’t do anything about it at the moment anyway, so when Hanna started walking down the aisle with her father, I turned my gaze to her and was determined to avoid Cailean and his eyes for the rest of the day.

  I hadn’t attended many weddings during my lifetime, but I could still say with confidence that Hanna’s had been the most beautiful wedding in the history of weddings. It was simple yet extravagant – just like she was. During the whole ceremony, all I could feel was Cailean’s intense eyes boring into me. However, I refused to look at him, concentrating very hard on what was being said by Hanna and Sebastian as they promised each other forever. It made tears sting behind my eyelids, but I didn’t know if it was because it was simply beautiful or because it made me so happy to see Hanna’s dreams come true after all the hard work
and sacrifices they had both endured to get to this moment.

  As if on instinct, my eyes found Cailean’s and he flashed a panty-dropping smile my way that would have made any other girl fall all over him. I heard Olivia whimper and there was no doubt in my mind that she was smiling shyly back at him. If he hadn’t been looking straight into my eyes, I could have brushed off the whole exchange as if he was flirting with Olivia instead of me. I could see why girls wanted him – why even I had found him attractive a week ago – but for now, all I could feel was panic.

  How am I supposed to get out of this situation?

  I had been good this week – I hadn’t looked him up even though the urge to do so had been strong, and I had only gazed longingly at my rings twice. Sure, there had been a few pity parties thrown into the mix, especially after finding out how much a divorce would cost me, but work had kept me busy and when that had failed, a gory Netflix show had worked just fine. Smutty romance novels hadn’t really worked like they’d had before and I found myself wondering why.

  I snapped my eyes back to Hanna and Sebastian just as the ceremony was wrapping up. Allie started walking, following behind the newlyweds with her husband, Nick. It made my panic grow even higher as it dawned on me who I would be walking down the aisle with – my very own husband.

  “Hello,” he said with a smile tugging at his lips as he took my arm in his. “Fancy meeting you here.”

  “Mphmm,” I grumbled, trying to ignore the static charge I was feeling from his touch.

  I pulled away from him as soon as we reached the end of the aisle, before he got the chance to say anything, and hurriedly went to help prepare for the reception. I was planning on ignoring him until I could get out of here and then for the rest of my life.

  My plan only worked for an hour or so, though. I saw Hanna walking over, tugging someone who seemed rather unwilling to follow her.

  “Hanna, I really don’t need to be set up with your friends. I already have someone to warm my bed,” I heard Cailean protest cockily, and I almost choked on the tortilla chips I was eating. It made me want to get up to run, because I had a sinking feeling about where Hanna was headed. It all made sense now – her comments about how she was going to set me up with Sebastian’s cousin. That was why he was here – he was Sebastian’s cousin.