“You look amazing!” Xavier said, as his gaze travelled over my face and he offered me the flowers.
“I’m not even ready yet. My hair’s still in curlers.”
He stepped forward to my side and pressed his hand to one of my curlers. “It’s not the hair. Not the make-up. Not the clothes. It’s you. You look amazing.” He was right in front of me and paused for a moment, waiting for me to let him know it was okay for him to kiss me. I should have closed the distance between us, but I couldn’t. He had to be the one to do it, because I couldn’t. I offered a smile and a small nod to let him know it was okay.
As soon as the smile was on my face, his lips were on mine. It was only a fleeting caress, but it helped to mend the hurt from Beau’s phone call.
“I’ll just be a minute,” I said to him when we broke apart.
“I’ll wait right here.”
I headed for the bathroom and unrolled my hair before setting the loose curls into a half-up style. It only took a few minutes, but when I came back out, Xavier had grabbed a similar glass to the one I’d used for a rose and put the bouquet he’d brought me in water.
“Who’s the rose from?” he asked, brushing his fingers over the petals. There was an undercurrent in his voice that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“Honestly?” I asked as I headed for a cupboard to grab my clutch purse. “I have no clue. It was just waiting on my doorstep yesterday.”
“So, it’s not from another guy?”
I stopped where I stood and turned to him. “What?”
“Well, it’s a red rose. They’re usually given as romantic gestures, aren’t they?”
“I wouldn’t know.”
“So, it’s not from Beau?”
“No. Why would I keep anything he gave me?” I swallowed down the end of my question as my mind travelled to the photos of Beau and me from the photo booth and his mask, both sitting on my bedside table. Ignoring my need to grab my clutch, and needing to reassure us both, I moved straight to Xavier’s side. His statement held too much question and hurt to be meaningless. “Do you honestly believe I’d do that to you?”
His brows were knitted together. “No. Of course not. I just . . .” He lifted his gaze to mine and gave me a smile. “Don’t mind me. Are you ready to go?”
I lifted my hand to his cheek. Beau had tried calling me on and off for most of the day, and I’d been steadfastly ignoring him, so it was with absolute confidence that I said, “Xavier, I promise you, you’re the only person I’m interested in seeing.”
Xavier grabbed my hand and held it in his. “Yeah. I know.”
We headed out to see the movie Xavier had picked for us, some romantic comedy I probably wouldn’t have picked myself. When he asked what I thought about it, I was truthful but polite.
“You hated it, didn’t you?”
I laughed. “I didn’t hate it. It’s just not something I’d pick myself.”
“I thought girls liked that sort of romantic movie.”
“Most girls might, but I’m not like most girls. I’d much rather a good action movie. I usually save the romcoms for when I have my best friend at my side, so we can laugh at how ridiculous they are.”
“I’ll remember that for next time. Who knows, maybe one day I can even take your best friend’s place.”
I squeezed his hand as another chuckle left me. “No offence, Xavier, you’re terrific and I’m glad we’re together, but Angel’s shoes are pretty big. I’d go so far as to say they’re impossible to fill.”
He grinned. “Sounds like a challenge.”
“A girl needs a best friend who isn’t her boyfriend.”
“I don’t see why”—he lifted one hand and tapped my cheek with his knuckle—“but I’ll take your word for it.”
I turned around to walk backward in front of him. “We need someone to talk to when our men are frustrating us,” I teased before winking.
He narrowed his eyes. “Surely I ain’t frustrating you.”
“No,” I said sweetly as I moved back to his side. “Not yet at least,” I teased.
His hold on me grew rigid. “I’ll make it my goal to not frustrate you ever. To never do anything that might make you leave.”
“You’re sweet, Xavier. I like that about you.”
The rest of the walk to the restaurant passed in a flurry of friendly banter and soft, sweet kisses. Over the first two courses of the meal, we spoke of our high school lives, my family, our dreams for the future, and our favourite foods. By the time dessert was served, I’d given Xavier more information than I’d ever shared with Beau, and yet somehow it felt like I’d revealed far less about myself. And knew far less about him than I had thought I’d known about Beau.
All Xavier and I had shared were facts. No emotion. No personal observations.
What is knowledge but a collection of observations? It was something Beau had said to me when he was trying to prove that he knew me, even though he didn’t know my name or anything else about me.
I frowned and tried to push the thought out of my mind—and the feeling of betrayal that accompanied it. Beau had deceived me, and now I felt like I was doing the same thing to him in return.
It took Xavier almost the whole drive home to realise I’d settled into a funk.
“Are you tired?”
“Huh?” I asked, as his question drew me out of my own thoughts. It took a moment to roll his question through my occupied mind again. “Oh, um . . ., yeah. I’m feeling a little off, that’s all.”
“Did you have a good time tonight?”
“I did. It was lovely. When are we going to do it again?”
“Is tomorrow night too soon?”
“Someone’s keen.” I chuckled as I took his hands in mine. “But I’d love to. My treat this time.”
“I couldn’t let you do that.”
“I can’t let you pay every time we go out either.”
A frown dipped his brow and he shook his head. “But it’s a man’s responsibility.”
I raised my eyebrow at him. “You know how I feel about that man’s and woman’s duties bullshit.”
“Sorry, it’s how I was raised. You met Mom.”
I bit back the unfortunately I wanted to release. I didn’t think he’d appreciate that remark. I’d learned long ago that no matter how bat shit crazy parents were, most children stuck up for theirs without question. Angel had been the one to teach me that lesson. “Long before the meet-the-parents stage, in fact. But my views are how I was raised as well. Mum and Dad, they’re equals. In everything. That’s the sort of love I want in my life too.”
“I insist on paying tomorrow night, but after that we can talk,” he asserted.
“Deal.”
“Same time tomorrow then?”
“I’m looking forward to it.”
He leaned across the car and kissed my lips. Another sweet, slow kiss later, I left him to head back up to my apartment.
Alone.
Had it been a date with Beau, we probably would have crashed and banged our way back up to my place and fallen into bed together. With a sigh, I put on the country playlist and thought about the sort of end to a date we might have had if things had been different.
I really needed to make a new playlist. One for Xavier. I just didn’t have any music that inspired any thought of him. At least, not yet. Maybe after our next date.
“I LOVE you.” His eyes never left mine as he issued the quiet statement. “And I know I told ya I’d thought I felt that for others, but I ain’t never meant those words more than I do now. You—you’re special, darlin’.”
The feeling that rolled through my body was like nothing else. I studied his face, the chocolate and amber eyes, his sandy brown hair that tickled my fingertips. Sitting on his lap, resting my cheek against his naked chest, I was in heaven.
He loved me.
And I loved him.
I loved Beau.
It was then I noticed the direction of his ga
ze. It wasn’t focused on me. Instead, it concentrated on a spot just over my shoulder.
“I love you,” he repeated. Louder than before.
I turned and looked over my shoulder at the spot he was staring. Standing behind me was a heavily pregnant woman.
Cassidee.
A sob left me. “But I love you.”
He pushed me off his lap and rushed straight to Cassidee’s arms.
“I loved you!” The words were a scream on my lips as I tore from sleep. My forehead was drenched in sweat and my body shook. It wasn’t the first time dreams of Beau had turned into a nightmare, and I doubted it would be the last. Still, it left me desperate for his touch and unable to sleep.
I squeezed my eyes closed and turned my thoughts to Xavier instead. Sweet Xavier. He offered things that Beau never had. Safety. Security. Steady companionship. Those were the things I needed while I was away from my family. Not passion and heartbreak.
Knowing it would be impossible to return to sleep after the dream I’d had, I climbed from the bed and headed for a shower. I had to put focus on what I had, not what I wanted. Things that burned too brightly never lasted.
Even after my shower, I needed to clear my head, so I went for a ride around the streets, going as far out of Mooresville as I dared without risking getting lost. I found a tiny cafe and stopped for some morning tea. It was the break I needed from everything.
When I arrived back home, there was another present waiting for me in front of my door. A small, heart-shaped box of chocolates. Once again, I looked around the empty hallway as if the gift-giver would still be hanging around, but saw no one. I turned the box over and lifted the lid to see if I could find any card, but there was nothing.
Two presents in two days from a secret admirer. My brow dipped into a frown as I tried to figure out who it could have been from. And how they’d managed to get right to my doorstep when the building was secure.
I took the box inside with me, tossing it into the bin as I passed. It might have been an innocent gift, but I wasn’t so crazy as to eat random chocolates left on my doorstep.
The rest of the day passed in a blur as I tried to focus on everything but the dream I’d had of Beau that lingered at the edges of my mind like it had all day. Every time I’d closed my eyes, he was there teasing me before declaring his love for Cassidee.
It was almost a relief when the buzzer sounded to let me know Xavier had arrived. I didn’t worry about talking to him, just pressed the button to allow him access.
I smiled when he knocked on my door a few minutes later.
“Hey, Xa—” The name died on my lips when I met a gaze of brown rather than blue. I narrowed my eyes. “Beau.”
“I wanted to talk—”
“Did you not get the hint the other night when I told you to fuck off? What do I need to say to make it clearer?” I started to close the door in his face.
His hand shot out and stopped the motion. “Will ya please just let me talk?”
I continued to push on the door, hoping it would shut. “Why should I?”
“I thought we were tryin’ ta be friends.”
“We were. At least, I was trying. But not anymore. I won’t take your insults.”
“That’s why I’m here.” He nudged further into my apartment, but I held up my hand to stop him. As if some sudden thought struck him, his gaze travelled the length of my body.
“Wait.” He looked around the hallway. “Ya buzzed me up. Straight up. Without question. You’re—”
I crossed my arms and glared at him, waiting for the penny to drop. His gaze rested on my glossed lips.
“Are ya goin’ on a date?”
“That is what a girl usually does when she has a boyfriend, is it not?”
“Boyfriend . . .” He dropped his chin to his chest. “Of course.” The words sounded like they’d been squeezed past vocal cords strained to their limit. “Xavier?”
“Of course.”
“What makes him so special?”
I frowned, confused at the question.
“What makes him more special than me?” Beau stepped closer to me. I let go of the door and put my hands on his chest to stop him getting any nearer.
My breath left me in a scoff. “Are you kidding me?”
“No, I ain’t kiddin’ ya. I wanna know. What makes him worthy of—”
The buzzer rang again. I clenched my teeth and squared my shoulders. “Please leave.”
“Why? Don’t ya want him to see me here?”
“Beau, I didn’t want to see you here.” Without breaking eye contact, I reached over to the intercom and let Xavier in.
He dropped his chin to his chest and sighed. “I’m here because I wanted to apologise for my call the other night.”
“So you do understand how inappropriate it was?”
“Ya sound surprised,” he said.
“After the way you spoke to me, I kinda am.”
“It drove me crazy when I saw about you and—” The elevator dinged and Beau turned to it. “Xavier.”
Leaving Beau standing at my door, I jumped back inside to grab my bag. By the time I made it back to the entrance, Beau and Xavier were standing chest to chest in the hallway outside my apartment. Beau’s top lip was pulled up into a sneer and Xavier had drawn himself up to his full height. I couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other in their soft hisses.
“Hi, Xavier,” I said after I’d pulled my door shut and checked that it was locked. My sole focus when I turned around was on Xavier, as I tried in vain to ignore the pull Beau had over me.
Xavier tore his eyes off Beau and onto me. “Phoebe.”
His arm slipped around my waist, and a second later his lips were on mine. Rather than the sweet kisses we’d shared the night before, he slipped his tongue between my lips and kissed me hard. The movement was possessive, not passionate.
Because Beau had turned up on my doorstep without notice, I understood the desire. It was no different to the impulse that had seen me kiss Xavier at Richards Racing.
Beau cleared his throat and Xavier squeezed me tighter for a second before releasing his hold. When he did, his hand didn’t leave my waist, but he didn’t make eye contact with me either. He glared straight at Beau, making it clear whose benefit the kiss was for.
Instead of meeting Xavier’s eyes, Beau’s gaze found mine. I pressed my lips together to ease the ache from Xavier’s punishing kiss.
“We should be going,” Xavier said, using his hold on my waist to draw me down the hall toward the elevators.
Beau’s hand shot out to grab my arm. “Can’t we finish our conversation first, Phoebe?”
I was about to say we were done when Xavier’s hold on my waist tightened around me. He slipped himself between Beau and me. “I’m sorry, I’ve made plans for Phoebe and me, and we can’t be late.”
Beau finally acknowledged him again, raising his hand in mock surrender. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt an exclusive date.” Beau spat the word at me as if it was dirty. As if he didn’t understand the meaning behind it. As if I didn’t already know his apparent distaste for monogamy.
“You can see yourself out, can’t you, Beau?” I asked, making it clear the only answer was yes.
Beau turned away from us, resting both his hands against the wall and bowing his head into the space, but didn’t answer me.
“And say hi to Cassidee for me, won’t you?” I asked through a tight throat.
“Sure thang,” he muttered without looking at me.
There was something in the tone of his voice; sorrow, maybe? It didn’t make sense, but it was the only emotion I heard in the two words. I was sure I was imagining it.
Xavier urged me along with his hold on my waist. “Let’s go.”
I stared back at Beau until I physically couldn’t anymore. He seemed so intent on tormenting me. On not wanting to be with me, but not wanting to let me go either. I didn’t know what his problem was.
My frown was
permanently set by the time the elevator doors slid shut.
“Why was Beau here?” Xavier asked, closing in on me and forcing me against the wall of the elevator.
“You’d have to ask him.” The words slipped out without thought.
He grabbed my chin between his fingers and forced my gaze to his. “I’m asking you. Does he want you back?”
“No. God, no. And if he did, I’d tell him where to shove it.” I rested my arms around Xavier’s shoulders. “I’m not interested in being hurt like that again.”
Xavier held my gaze while we rode the elevator down to the ground floor. The questions that burned in his blue eyes almost hurt.
“I can’t deny it makes me happy to hear you say that. Because you’re mine now, Phoebe. Ain’t you?”
The possessive edge to his voice set my nerves on edge, but by the time he asked his last question, the edge had burned off to self-doubt. I smiled to reassure him. “Of course I am.” I sighed as I tried to push down the part of me that longed to give that answer to Beau. “So, what’s on the agenda tonight?”
He stared into my eyes for a beat more before smiling. “That’s a surprise. Let’s just say, it’s to do with music and I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.”
“Intriguing. I can’t wait.”
“Me either.”
Xavier’s perfect date ended up being tickets to a concert he was certain I’d love. When I found out we were seeing a live band, I was excited and started to wonder which of my favourite bands he’d managed to get tickets for. Arriving at the venue to see an array of plaid, denim, and more leather boots and cowboy hats than I’d ever seen in one place, a sense of trepidation grew.
“Xavier, what’s the band’s name that we’re seeing tonight?”
He grinned. “There are a couple of bands and a solo artist.” He rattled off the names and my stomach clenched.
No. No. It can’t be.
I fought against the urge to run from the venue as fast as I could. They were all bands on my Beau playlist. All songs that reminded me of our time together. I couldn’t believe my second date with Xavier was going to be filled with so many memories.
Phobic (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #2) Page 15
