Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  I tried the lacy dress on and it was absolutely beautiful. It was a simple off the shoulder dress. The hem of the A-Line skirt felt a little short as it reached my mid-thigh, but the waist fit my figure perfectly. It kind of reminded me of the white sundress I wore at homecoming six years ago, and the thought conveyed a lot of heartbreak as I stared at myself in silence. I closed my eyes and sat on the cold, metallic chair holding my head between my knees.

  “Kylie?”

  “Yeah?”

  My head was still down, unable to look at myself anymore, I didn’t respond until she stuck her head through the curtain.

  “Abs?”

  “I can’t watch him leave again.”

  The One

  Abbygail

  When I woke up from my nap after my shopping spree with Kylie, it was close to nine. I almost decided to stay in. I changed my mind, though, when it wandered to the remaining hours I had left with Oliver. By the time I made it to the bar wearing the white dress Kylie forced me to buy, I realized that Claire was right: it was packed with high school acquaintances. I spotted Stephan working the bar as soon as I stepped inside. I also saw Tyler and Kylie talking with him at the counter.

  Oliver smiled when he saw me walk in. He was standing in front of a platinum blond girl who I could only assume was Adalynn. I shuddered, already dreading my encounter with her.

  I took a minute to admire Oliver from afar and licked my lips. The guy was too sexy for his own good…. everything from his five o’clock stubble, to his loose faded jeans and tight black t-shirt, made my insides quiver.

  Get a grip Abby!

  The music was loud, and I could feel the beat resonate through my whole body while I walked across the bar to join my friends. Or maybe that was just my heart beating out of my chest—at that point I was probably confusing both—but as I got closer, I couldn’t help being annoyed by my childhood nemesis’ voice. There was just nothing I could do. Even years later, she still rubbed me the wrong way.

  Stephan leaned over the bar for a hug. “I thought you weren’t going to show up.”

  “Yeah, I fell asleep. Can I get a bottle of water?”

  “Of course. No alcohol tonight?”

  I shook my head. “No. I think the real Abby is ready to find her way home.”

  He smiled a proud grin and kissed my cheek. “Best idea ever.”

  “Abby,” Adalynn hollered over the music, interrupting the moment I was having with my best friend. “I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever.”

  “That’s because you haven’t,” I replied monotonously.

  “So tell me. How have you been?”

  Really? Ugh. Maybe I should reconsider the whole booze thing after all…

  “I’ve been well.”

  “Claire told me you’re not with Tyler anymore. Back to old habits I presume?”

  Catching up on her ruse, I responded with a thin smile. She was extremely close to having her fruity drink splashed all over her face.

  “So what do you do?”

  “I doubt you care enough for me to answer that question, Adalynn. So, how about we not stand here and pretend to chitchat while we clearly don’t like each other. I’m not big on being fake… you know… fake tan, fake boobs, fake nails, or fake conversations.” I gave her a fake smile, which seemed appropriate at the time. “Besides, we all know what you really want is to step into my buddy’s pants over here. Fortunately for you, you don’t need to go through me to get to him anymore. If he’s interested, he’ll be able to let you know like any big boy can.”

  Both facial expressions were priceless. Adalynn scoffed and walked away joining her friends, so I took her spot on the stool and leaned on the bar to a smirking Stephan.

  He was proud.

  I hadn’t stood up to Adalynn since she became the cheer captain of the pompom blondies over six years ago.

  Oliver stepped closer, bumping into me. “Hey, buddy,” I turned to his grinning face. “It had never occurred to me that you had such great power over my dating life before, but it’s nice to know that if I want to get laid tonight I can choose my own women now.”

  I chuckled.

  “And it’s also nice to know that your temper and that mouth of yours remains the same even when you’re sober.”

  “Oh, Oliver Langton,” I responded with a devilish grin. “You can’t possibly imagine what this mouth of mine can do.”

  His stunned face was absolutely precious.

  As my eyes roamed the bar for familiar faces, I felt Oliver’s hand lift the tip of my high ponytail and pass his thumb over the nape of the back of my neck. I shivered under his touch.

  “When did you get a tattoo?”

  “I don’t know—a while ago. Why?”

  “Just curious.”

  I was actually surprised he hadn’t noticed it at my mother’s birthday party. He traced the letters. I hoped he didn’t realize what they meant.

  “Love?” he questioned. “Is it me, or is this kind of unlike you?”

  I smiled back with a subtle shrug. It wasn’t written love. It was our initials. The LO stood for Oliver’s reversed initials and the VE was actually an AE that was written upside down and joined by an orchid and its stem. I had our initials tattooed in the back of my neck to prove that I had put our story behind me.

  Needless to say, it was a big fat lie.

  Oliver

  “There’s something different about you tonight.” I remarked.

  “Different how? You don’t like my look? This brand new dress cost me a fortune just so you know.”

  I shook my head. “That’s not what I said, Abbygail. I like the dress. I love the color, and the boots.”

  I fucking love the boots.

  “It’s your eyes… they’re different.”

  The corner of her lip lifted into a tentative sad smile. She reached over to my face and pulled a strand of hair away from my eyes. I held my breath, trying not to move. This had been the closest to me she had allowed herself to be with me in three days.

  “You’re home, Oliver.”

  She let her hand down and walked away to the dance floor to join Kylie and old classmates. I couldn’t tell if her admission was for my benefit or her own, but it touched me in places she would never understand. It took a lot of self-control to not obey my desires and take her home with me. Every time I saw her, she was even more beautiful than the last, and the more I spent time with her, the more I realized how much I missed us.

  The more I realized I wanted her.

  “I remember that look,” Stephan voiced over the loud music.

  “I do, too.” Tyler mocked. “It’s the same one he had all summer before he moved away.”

  “Do you remember her black bikini?” Stephan asked.

  “I don’t think any one of us forgot her black bikini.”

  I almost growled but refrained from doing so. I knew very well that if I did, my friends would mock the hell out of me. I remembered everything about Abby, and that summer.

  “Oliver, can I offer you a piece of advice?” Tyler suggested.

  I turned to meet his eyes.

  “You two have a bond. It’s hard to explain. Even though the both of you lived thousands of kilometers apart, you both lived in sync. I can’t even tell you how it’s even possible because I think the whole thing is beyond bizarre, but it’s real, Oliver.”

  Kylie left Abby on the dance floor with a girl I think was in our advanced math class in 10th grade. Before sitting down between Tyler and me, she leaned over the counter and kissed Stephan.

  “Six years ago,” he continued, “that girl was in love with you, and no matter the years, she was never able to give her heart to anyone else. The thing is I know you loved her, too. So my advice to you is, if part of you still feels remotely the same, don’t hold back because I know for a fact that if you dig into this deeply enough, you’ll realize that she and her heart still belong to you.”

  I chuckled. “I doubt that.”


  Kylie inched closer. “Why don’t you just trust him on this, and see for yourself.”

  Abby left the dance floor when a slow song started playing. Her eyes met mine with a shy smile when she saw me standing up. I had every intention of asking her to dance with me, until Adalynn’s presence assaulted me.

  “So Oliver, would you like to give an old crush a round on the dance floor?”

  As a matter of fact, I would. She’s just not you.

  Abby watched us, and her smile immediately fell. I couldn’t believe that even years later, she still thought I would have a thing for Adalynn.

  “Sorry, Adalynn. I’m going to pass, but thanks.”

  Her brows furrowed, but I just ignored her, and grabbed Abby’s arm as she walked by us. She gasped in surprise when I pulled her close to me.

  “Where do you think you’re going?” I murmured in her ear.

  “To get some water.”

  “Are you thirsty?”

  She looked up at me confused. “Why do you think I’m getting some water?”

  “What I think is that you still think I’m interested in Adalynn even though I already told you years ago that she’s not my type. So I’m going to ask you again. Are you thirsty?”

  “Well,” she stuttered. “No. But why are you acting weird, Oliver? What’s with you?”

  I picked her up and dropped her on her feet in the middle of the dance floor. “We’re dancing.”

  “Are we now?” she answered, crossing her arms over her chest.

  I could tell that she wanted to fight me on this, but looking into her eyes, I also saw the one thing that had been haunting my dreams for years. Sapphire. Six years ago it was the one color that intrigued me. I was clueless as to what it meant, yet I loved it because it only appeared when she was with me. But at that exact moment, having her standing in front of me, trying to defy me, I realized exactly what I had been missing. There was no mistake. Sapphire blue was her impulse. It was her desire.

  “And what would you have done if I’d said I was thirsty?”

  “We would have gotten you hydrated, then I would have dragged you back right here on this spot. We haven’t done this in forever, Abbygail. We’re dancing.”

  She smiled that smile I knew was only meant for me, and stretched her hands around my neck. Pulling her in, I wrapped my arms around her body.

  “Hi.” I looked down into those blue eyes I’d missed so much.

  “Hi,” she whispered back.

  “Have I told you how stunning you look tonight?”

  She nodded.

  “Well, just in case I wasn’t clear enough earlier, you look beautiful.”

  She settled her head in the crook of my neck letting her light touch and soft breath caress my skin. I breathed her in, not quite believing that she was the girl I was dancing with.

  The song ended and Be the One by The Fray started playing. For a fraction of a second, I froze, afraid of the memories the song brought to the both of us. In the years after I had left Carrington, I couldn’t listen to it anymore. I wondered if maybe someone had requested it as it was pretty old, and wasn’t something that randomly played in a bar so many years later.

  I listened to the lyrics. Six years later their meaning represented so much of what I felt for the girl I was holding in my arms. As I played with the tip of Abby’s hair, I softly grazed the back of her neck. She lifted her head off my shoulder and gazed into my eyes. My mind left the dance floor for a brief second and went back in time. The memory of our heated encounter in the girl’s locker room flooded my mind.

  “Oliver?” she called, bringing me back to reality.

  Without thinking, I put my lips to hers.

  It was as if it was just the normal thing to do. It was sweet and innocent but quickly transformed into something more meaningful. I let everything I had ever felt for Abby transpire in that kiss. All my feelings of grief and desire bunched up into one incredible moment. But when we came up for air for the first time in minutes, she met my eyes, furrowed her brows and before being given any time to react, she disappeared.

  Abbygail

  I touched my bruised lips. I couldn’t believe I’d let it happen. He wasn’t supposed to kiss me…I wasn’t supposed to kiss him back.

  Will these feelings I have for him ever leave?

  I looked up into his eyes,

  No, Abby. They probably won’t.

  I panicked.

  The cool air hit my face after I abandoned Oliver on the dance floor. I felt my heart thrumming and realized the implications of what I had just let happened.

  This is going to hurt…

  Oliver

  “Where did she go?” I asked my friends.

  “We need to talk,” Stephan said.

  “I don’t want to talk. I want to see her. Where-did-she-go?”

  His stern face told me I wouldn’t be winning the conversation, so I complied and followed him outside.

  “Ready to talk now?” Stephan demanded. I discerned anger in his tone.

  I already told you no, but whatever…

  “Are you going to give me a choice?”

  “None whatsoever. I’m going to talk, Oliver, and you’re going to listen to what I have to say.”

  I nodded. He was using valuable time.

  “Oliver, you’re entitled to your opinion about how I handled things with Abby when you left, but you have no right to tell me what I should, or should not have done to help her. I dealt with the cards you handed me when you fucking left. I took care of her the best way I knew how, and I didn’t tell you because I knew you wouldn’t have come back–”

  “You don’t know that–”

  “I am not done talking. You asked me to take care of her, not to be your reporter. If you wanted to know how she was doing, you should have picked up a goddamn phone and called her yourself.”

  Oh if you knew how often I tried…

  “But you didn’t. Your reasons are your own and I refuse to judge them. Whether you agree with me or not, her story is not mine to tell. She’ll do it herself if and when she’s ready.”

  I stepped away from him and let out a loud groan. I needed to shake off my anger towards him, but mostly towards myself. He had no idea how much I wanted to do everything he accused me of not doing. He had no idea how many times I tried... no one did.

  “You know, Oliver, way before you were in love with her, Abbygail was your best friend. You two were so inseparable—it drove me nuts—but over a few months after you’d left, I realized that she would have done anything for you. You were her best friend. Had you called her and asked her to leave everything and fly to BC to be with you, she would have done it in a heartbeat. That’s how much you meant to her, Oliver. She believed you were her entire world, and when you left without looking back, she felt like she lost everything.”

  I stopped pacing and looked at him.

  “I refuse to see her destroyed again,” he threatened. “And trust me when I tell you, if you continue down this path, she will be.”

  “I’m not going to hurt her.”

  “I believe that you don’t want to, but I don’t believe that you won’t… and to prove myself right, tell me, Oliver, what will your plans be after Sunday morning? Because trust me, I know where all of this is heading. I know what she’s thinking. I know how she’s feeling, and I’m telling you right now, you can’t just figure out things as they go.”

  “What do you want me to tell you, Stephan? I don’t know what my plans are. Fuck… I don’t even know how I’m feeling right now. It’s all just mixed up in my head. You know how much I loved her. And now—fuck!” I looked up at the starlit sky and back at my friend. “I don’t have the answers that you want Stephan, but I promise that I am not going to hurt her.”

  He looked at me, unconvinced, but I bailed before giving him the satisfaction of telling me so.

  Root Beer Slushies

  Abbygail

  I rounded the corner of my street and spotted someone
sitting on the step of my mother’s front porch. Parking my car under my carport and crossing the street I realized that my mother’s visitor was her teenager next door neighbor.

  “Cole?”

  He looked up and I saw his bruised eye, his split lip and the blood spatter on his shirt.

  “Cole, what in the world happened to you?” I opened the door to my mother’s house and helped him inside. “Mom?” I shouted from the entry hall. “Mom, please come here.”

  Cole often came to the rec center and to be honest I had noticed a few scrapes and bruises, but I assumed it was from altercations with classmates. Turned out I had read the situation all wrong.

  “Cole, who did this to you?”

  He ignored my question, and stared at his shaky hands. I had known my next door neighbor since he was about three years old. He was always a good kid but things changed as he got into his teenage years. His parents divorced when he was about thirteen years old. At first, they had joint custody, but a year into their ordeal, something happened, and I never saw Cole’s dad again. Things shifted after that, and got from bad to worse.

  “Mom!” I yelled again.

  “I’m coming, I’m coming.” I heard her say from upstairs. “Abbygail, what’s got you so worked up to—Oh dear, Cole?”

  He looked up to her with a saddened face. Cole had always really liked my mom. For years, at least once a week, he would cross over to her house and claim a freshly-baked banana muffin she made just for him.

  “Mom, can you get a clean facecloth, warm water, ice and whatever else I can’t think of to clean this up, please?”

  She turned back the way she had come, and I sat Cole on a nearby chair to get a good look at him.

  Who the hell did this?

  “Cole, sweetie, please tell me what happened.”