Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  “Abby, are you sure about this?”

  Please say no, and be strong enough for the both of us…

  “Oliver, I—” She paused and exhaled. “Oliver, I know you’re leaving tomorrow. And I promise I won’t ask you to stay. I just—”

  “Abby—”

  “I won’t say no because I can’t, Oliver. Listen, I don’t know about tomorrow, but right now, I want to take a page out of your book. I’m okay with this. I think the real question is, are you?”

  Fuck!

  I stepped away and locked the door.

  “Abbygail,” I uttered huskily as I grabbed her and pinned her against the wall. “Regretting this could never happen because I’ve been fantasizing about you for years. Besides, you made that decision for me when you came down the steps wearing those fucking boots. Tonight, beautiful, I’m going to let you ride me with those boots until you’re fucking raw.”

  “Let me?”

  Abby’s lustful smile crept on her gorgeous face. I think we both understood the game, trying not to get our hearts involved in the mistakes we knew we were making. It was just easier for us to play and pretend that we were okay with what was going on between us, rather than let our true emotions get mixed up into it.

  She pulled on my hair and leaned in to whisper ever so softly, “Oliver, by the end of the night, you won’t be letting me do anything. You’ll be begging me to climb on that hard cock of yours and fuck you until I’m raw!”

  By the time we made it up to her room my shirt was off my back. I was glad the lighting was dim enough for her not to see the extent of my tattoos. Some things were just better off a secret.

  My dick twitched as she unbuckled my belt and button to let my jeans hang loose from my waist. The way she looked at me felt like she wanted to swallow me whole. She pushed me down on her bed and let her hands caress my skin, sending waves of pure bliss all through my body. My little Freckle Face was teasing me, and she knew how to do it well.

  My fingers teased the hem of her dress as she bent down to grace my lips with hers. I stripped her down and she stood in front of me in a black and cream colored lace bra and Brazilian underwear.

  “Stop drooling,” she complained.

  “Can’t,” I pulled her back to me. “Too fucking beautiful.”

  I had barely touched her, yet I could already feel the heat emanating from between her thighs. I let my hand travel higher pushing aside the thin layer of fabric separating my touch from her wet silky skin. She moaned as I slipped my fingers inside to tease her.

  She straddled my erect body. Her dark hair fanned over our faces, and for the first time in my life I allowed myself to feel her in any way I wanted. There were so many things I wanted to say, but Abby sealed my lips with hers in the most heart-stopping kiss we had ever shared. We belonged to each other for the night, and I was going to show her what it meant for her to be mine.

  Never backing away from her lips I stood and spun her around. I was done giving her control, but Abby had her own plans. She wrapped her legs around my waist into a tight hold. The coolness of her leather boots against my scorching skin sent shivers throughout my body; she was driving me senseless…

  In truth she was the owner, making my body quiver at her simple commanding desires.

  I laid her down, hovering over her, marking her body as mine. Alternating between lascivious scrapes and adoring kisses, I couldn’t wait to have a taste of her dampness. The pressure of my cock pushing against her soaked underwear made her moan, and to my delight she grabbed my hair pulling me closer, yearning softly against the curve of my neck.

  My sweet Abby.

  Abbygail

  I couldn’t get enough. His touch. His skin. I wanted more. I needed more. I pulled his grinning face to mine, caressing his lips with my tongue and raised my hips craving more pressure, more friction. I smiled and he grunted, playfulness shining through his amused dark eyes. His kisses travelled lower, tempting me, leaving traces of his hot breath down my jaw and neck until he reached the curves of my swollen breasts, releasing them with an appreciative groan. My body shook. The graze of his callous hands and warm breath made my whole body scream with need.

  I felt his smile against my skin.

  “Oliver, please…”

  “Please what, Abbygail?” He knew what I wanted, yet he seemed amused by making me beg for what I needed.

  The contact of our lower bodies made him grow harder against the moisture of the thin lace of my lingerie. But he just hovered, looking at me with the most adoring smile, like there wasn’t anywhere else in the world he would rather be.

  As he bent down to kiss me, I let my own hands travel down his body, inside the protection of his clothing. His eyes shot up to mine and every one of his features changed. His amused smile transformed, and he exhaled loudly. His playful eyes turned dark and hungry as I skillfully caressed his erection.

  “Fuck, Abs,” he grunted under my strokes.

  He appreciated every curve and bump of my quivering body with the wet warmth of his mouth, and he bit down on my nipples. I bucked against the pleasurable punishment making him laugh softly. His hands travelled down to my soaked folds as I grabbed a fistful of his hair bringing his lips back to mine.

  “Oliver, please,” I begged.

  He complied, finally, and removed the thin layer to rub his thumb over my swollen clit, circling until I cried out to the sensation of his touch.

  “My sweet Abby,” he grumbled.

  For tonight…

  I can do this… right?

  “Oliver.”

  “Tell me what you want, beautiful.”

  I always loved how Oliver would call me beautiful, but in the heat of the moment, it was enough to send me over the edge.

  I can’t believe he’s making me beg for this…

  “I want to touch you,” I whispered. “I need to feel you.”

  He chuckled. “I want to feel you come for me first, but I especially want to taste how sweet you are. You have no idea how often I’ve dreamt of making you come for me.”

  And you have no idea how often I’ve fantasized about you making me shudder under your touch…

  He ordered me not to move and stood in front of me to remove his boxers. I dreamt of Oliver numerous times, but my fantasies didn’t do him justice. He was a work of art.

  “Stay,” he ordered as I hoisted myself on my elbows to get a better view.

  I smiled an evil grin.

  No way in hell…

  “I thought I—fuck!” he muttered.

  He had no chance against my greedy tongue. I licked the small drip threatening to tip over as he pleasured himself, forcing me to watch.

  “Abbygail,” he ordered as he pulled away. I had to hand it to him: Oliver had powerful self-restraint. He leaned over took my lips and laid me back down with a small push of his hand.

  “Don’t move,” he ordered opening my thighs to his hungry eyes.

  “How often have you dreamed about this Abbygail?” he purred, traveling his pierced tongue across my wetness.

  I raised my hips craving more contact, but he pulled away.

  He cocked a brow. “I said don’t move.”

  I glared at him. He knew how much I wanted this, yet he decided to hover over my body instead of giving me what I needed. I pulled my hand down, feeling how wet I was, and pleasured myself. If he wouldn’t do it himself, I’d make him watch.

  He smiled. “Do you ever cry my name out when you make yourself come, beautiful?” he taunted. “Because last night, when my name rolled off your tongue, I could tell that it wasn’t the first time you’d called my name in ecstasy.”

  If you only fucking knew…

  I moaned and he took my mouth into a feverish kiss pulling my hand away from between my thighs.

  “I promise I am going to remember your moans for a fucking long time.”

  His teeth bit down on my lips unapologetically, and then his tongue travelled back down my body to where I so despera
tely needed him to be. I opened to the warmth of his breath. He lavished me with his tongue as I latched onto his hair. His two fingers moved inside me. He never took his tongue away from my swollen nub and I bucked uncontrollably against his hand. His touch sent waves and shocks of pleasure through every nerve of my body. I came, loud and fast, crying out Oliver’s name.

  “Abby, I’d give anything to be inside you right now, but—”

  “Told you you’d be begging!”

  “Abbygail!” he growled.

  I chuckled. “I’m on the pill, and I’ve also never um… not used extra protection.”

  This had to be the most awkward conversation ever, at the worst time ever.

  “Never?” he smiled.

  I shook my head. I may have been promiscuous, but at least I had always been careful with my promiscuity.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked.

  “What do you think?” I blindly admitted.

  He carried me to the reading lounge chair I had by my window, and laid my body over his. I admired his beauty through the moonlight and I caressed his lips softly with my own, enjoying the moment of tenderness that would be ending soon. I needed Oliver inside me. I raised my hips and took him hard and fast, giving him no time to adjust to my tightness.

  “Fuck.” He bit down on my lip. I smiled, feeling full of the man that I had yearned for years.

  He fisted my hair and pulled away to look into my eyes. “You’re evil,” he accused, rewarding me with the sexiest grin I had ever seen.

  “I know.”

  As promised, he let me set the pace. I rocked slowly feeling every inch of him. Rolling my hips over his, as his dark lustful eyes focused on mine. Deep moans escaped us as we lost control to the rasp friction.

  I could hear Oliver’s ragged breathing: it was unsteady like mine. Every thrust that was making him grunt louder than the previous one was telling me he was getting closer. I took my hands off his chest, wrapping one around his neck and the other one in between my thighs. The bold move made Oliver grumble something unintelligible. I closed my eyes at the sensation. Holding me down on him as he gripped my hips, Oliver took one hand off my waist and put it over my own hand. The pressure of our fingers around my clit made my head spin. I moaned.

  “Abbygail, look at me.”

  He pressed his forehead against mine and maintained my gaze as we got lost into every sensation our joined bodies would allow us to take.

  Deja vu

  Oliver

  I woke up a few minutes past 5:00. Abby and I had spent the entire night holding and kissing each other, and now she was sound asleep in my arms. I thought our night together would have been the one mistake I allowed myself to make with her, but in the end, I came to the conclusion that it was no mistake at all. I didn’t want to leave the comfort of her bed, and even less go back to my life thousands of kilometers away from her, but we lived separate lives and it was time for the both of us to grow up and move on from the past.

  After I withdrew myself from her, and watched her sleep soundly, making sure I’d remember every single detail of her perfect face. I knew I’d be seeing her again someday, and by then, I could only hope that she would overcome her fear of love and find a way to be herself again.

  “Abbygail,” I whispered. “You have to find what makes you happy. I need you to find love and be free of pain because I need to know that you’re going to be okay. I need you to be the girl I’ve spent my entire childhood with because she was the most amazing person I’ve ever met. Find your happiness, Abs, and I swear to you, I’ll find mine.”

  I left a soft kiss on her lips, and pulled away. As I stood up from her bed, she stirred. I was afraid I’d woken her up, but she simply turned and hugged her pillow.

  Before stepping into the shower, I texted Stephan: he was the one driving me to the airport and would be picking me up in about twenty minutes. I needed him to stop by the gas station for me.

  ···

  “This seems like Deja vu,” Stephan said as I opened the door to my old house. He was waiting for me on the front porch steps.

  “It does.” I frowned because of how similar I felt to the teen who’d left home, six years earlier.

  “Here,” he handed me the two glasses I asked him to buy for me. “Did you have a frozen drink craving or something this morning?”

  “Something like that,” I responded with a soft chuckle. I took the glasses and put them on the table beside the door. It was cold enough outside, they wouldn’t melt. “I need to go pick up my stuff at Jenna’s. Be back in a sec.”

  Jenna was already waiting for me, sitting on the split level steps when I opened the door. She was holding two coffee-to-go mugs and two banana muffins. I grinned, the house smelled like home.

  “Figured you’d be hungry,” she said with a warm smile.

  “Jenna, I’ve been looking forward to those muffins since I got back. I was afraid you’d forgotten about me.”

  “Old habits die hard, Oliver. You should know. Besides, it’s my job to take care of you now, and once in a while, that will include some home-baked goods.” she teased. “Are you all ready to go?”

  “Just about.” I nodded and gave her a peck on the cheek. “I just need to pick up my stuff in my room.”

  “How was your date?” she asked as I went up the three steps.

  I didn’t answer. I was pretty sure the expression on my face would explain plenty.

  “I assume it was good, considering you spent the night there.”

  Yeah, this is way too awkward…

  I ran down the steps and placed my luggage by the door.

  “Just so you know, I’m not going to put you on trial, Oliver. You two are both adults and are able to make your own decisions. Even if they are as stupid as I suppose they are.”

  “I would never hurt her.”

  “I know.”

  “And I promise she’ll be happy, one day.”

  She rested her hand on my cheek in a motherly way. “I’ve always believed that you know her better than I, so I trust that she will.”

  “I’m going to leave her letters on her doorstep. I want her to read them after I’m gone.”

  She frowned. “And you think that’s a good idea?”

  I shrugged. “I honestly don’t know. I’m pretty sure she’ll be pissed. She is an Evens after all!”

  Jenna pretended to look offended.

  “But I do need to ask you for a favor.”

  “Anything you need.”

  “After she’s done being pissed off at me, can you give her this?” I handed her an envelope. “I’ll let you judge when the time is right.”

  She nodded, took the envelope, and handed me one in return. “It’s for you.”

  “Ready?” Stephan asked as he stepped inside the house. “We need to get going.”

  “Yes.” I gave Jenna a sloppy smooch, picked up my bag and Abby’s small package. “I’ll give you a call once I arrive in BC.”

  “You’d better!”

  “These are like the best muffins on the planet,” Stephan stated as we crossed the street to his car.

  “I know.”

  I walked up to Abby’s front porch and dropped the letters on the table beside the root beer and the blue raspberry slushies, with a small message I knew would make her laugh.

  “What did you just leave on Abby’s front porch?” Stephan asked as we stepped inside his car. It pleased me that he was still trying to protect her.

  “The truth.”

  I watched the house disappear from my rear view mirror as we drove down the street, and Stephan looked at me curiously. “Did you really tell her to move on?”

  “Did she tell you that’s what I said?”

  I shook my head when he nodded. “That’s not what I said. I told her I wanted her to discover love and be happy. There’s a huge difference.”

  Abbygail

  I watched them through my bedroom window. It was the past revisiting itself all over again. Steph
an saw me when he walked back from my house to his truck. I put my finger over my lips. I didn’t want him to tell Oliver I’d be watching him leave. He grabbed his phone and dialed as soon as Oliver disappeared into my mother’s house.

  “Hello?” I answered after the sixth ring. Stephan wouldn’t be giving up until I gave him the satisfaction of picking up.

  “Why don’t you want me to tell him you’re there?”

  I shrugged looking at him through the window.

  “Don’t you want to say goodbye?”

  “He said goodbye before he left my room.”

  “And what about you?”

  I shrugged again. “I pretended I was sleeping.”

  He rolled his eyes. “Did he tell you he’d be coming back soon?”

  I shook my head. “He’s not staying, Stephan. What we allowed to happen this weekend was meant to be the end of our story.”

  “And you’re okay with that,” he stated more than questioned.

  “Doesn’t matter if I am or if I’m not. He and I are not meant to be together.”

  He exhaled loudly, annoyed with me. “What did he say when he said goodbye?”

  “To move on.”

  “He told you to move on?”

  I didn’t know why he was so surprised. “Sort of… anyway, it doesn’t matter what he said or how he said it, Steph. I knew what I was getting myself into. Don’t worry about me. You said it yourself: I’ll figure this out.”

  He looked displeased, but he didn’t argue. Whether he agreed with me or not wouldn’t make a difference, and he knew that. “I need to go. I’m picking you up for our run at six tomorrow morning.”

  “That’s too fucking early,” I complained.

  “Yet you’ll be up and ready. Later, babe!”

  I watched him follow Oliver inside my mom’s house.

  ···

  I frowned when Oliver walked up the steps to my front porch with some kind of box in his hand. For a second, I feared Stephan had told him I was watching and that he’d come back to say goodbye again. My heart wouldn’t have been able to handle a second goodbye. But seconds later he got into Stephan’s truck empty handed and they left. Once they were out of sight, I wiped off my tears and ran downstairs. I opened the front door and saw a small box beside the two glasses of frozen drinks. I grabbed both cups, and read the small message her left me. ‘It’s time you’ve tasted what you’ve been missing out on.’