Behind Closed Doors

by Carla Cassidy

  She drew in a deep breath. “You probably think I’m crazy to be carrying on so for a cat. A lot of people don’t understand the bond that can grow between somebody and their pet.”

  Clay’s fingers touched her chin and he turned her head so she was looking into his warm, brown eyes. “Ann...I’ve never had a pet, but I do understand about love and loss.” He stroked her cheek and again she was struck by the gentleness and empathy in his touch.

  He put his arm around her shoulders and she leaned into him. Strange, how shared grief became somehow easier to handle. She’d spent so much of her life grieving alone, surviving fate’s hits.

  It felt good to have Clay’s arm around her, as if somehow he could shelter her from any more fear or pain. Although she knew it wasn’t true, she allowed the fantasy to wash over her, the fantasy that somehow Clay could shield her from anything life threw at her. For the moment, it was enough to keep her from losing her mind.

  The minutes ticked by, agonizingly slow as they waited to find out if Twilight would make it or not. Ann alternated between praying and crying and Clay remained a pillar of strength, holding her and occasionally murmuring soothing words.

  It was nearly midnight when Dr. Turwell finally emerged from the operating area and joined them in the waiting room. “We finally got him stabilized.”

  “Thank God,” Ann breathed.

  “Although he’s not completely out of the woods yet,” the doctor continued. “We’ll monitor him for the rest of the night. You can call in the morning and we’ll see where we are.”

  “Thank you, Dr. Turwell. I’ll call first thing in the morning.” Ann said. He nodded, then left the waiting room and returned to the private back area.

  “Let’s get you home,” Clay said, his arm still warm around her shoulders.

  The ride back to her house was less frantic. The adrenaline that had kept Ann going through the long wait in the clinic was gone, leaving behind exhaustion and the seeds of a growing anger.

  “Do you think the person who poisoned Twilight is the same one who’s been bothering me?” she asked.

  “I know it is,” Clay answered, a tic working overtime in his lower jaw. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her. He turned on the interior light so she could read the note.

  As she read, her anger exploded. “Dammit. Why is this happening? Who is doing these things to me?”

  Clay turned out the light and reached for her hand across the seat. “I told you we’ll find him.”

  Ann pushed his hand away. “When? When will you find him? You’ve been telling me that for a week and now Twilight was almost killed. What next? How long do I have to endure this terrorism?” She drew in a deep breath, realizing she was venting her anger at the wrong person. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t yell at you.”

  “That’s right. You shouldn’t yell at me. I’m on your side.” He offered her a tentative smile.

  “I am sorry, Clay.” She grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. “I know you’re doing all you can to try to find out who’s responsible for this. I’m just frustrated...and frightened.”

  This time he squeezed her hand reassuringly, then let go and once again grabbed the steering wheel. “Ann, I want a list of all your male students. I’m going to run their names through the computer and see what I come up with.” He raked a hand through his hair, frustration evident on his features. “I have to confess, initially, I thought maybe the notes and the phone calls were from some creep and he’d grow tired of the game and move on to somebody else.”

  “Then he tried to run me over in the mall parking lot,” Ann said.

  “And now this.” Again his hand raked through his hair. “We’re checking all the known stalkers in the area, to see if we can match what’s happening to you with anyone else. We’re doing all we can, Ann.”

  “I know.” She wrapped her arms around her shoulders, chilled despite the warmth of the car.

  “But you’ve got to do what you can to help us. If you think of anyone... a teenage boyfriend, a hotheaded coworker, anyone who might have something against you, you’ve got to tell me.”

  “I’ve thought and thought, and I can’t come up with anyone who would have any reason to seek revenge on me.” Tell him, a small voice niggled inside her head. Tell him about the lost years.

  She frowned and rubbed her forehead, a battle waging inside her brain. Why, what difference would it make?

  Surely those dark distant years of her life had no bearing on what was happening to her now.

  Besides, she’d finally gotten the courage to tell Greg and had watched him turn away from her. She’d tell Clay if she thought any of it would help, but she didn’t think it would.

  He pulled into her driveway and whatever anger had surged inside her died once again, leaving only the despair. She couldn’t imagine going inside and knowing Twilight wouldn’t greet her with a cranky meow. He wouldn’t curl up at the foot of the bed and keep her feet warm through the night. A sob hiccupped out of her.

  “Come on, let’s get you settled in for the night, then I’ll get out of your hair.” Together they got out of the car. He placed his arm around her shoulders as they walked to the front door. She fought the impulse to lean against him once again, knowing leaning on Clay could become a habit.

  Once inside, she sank down on the sofa, again nearly overwhelmed by anguish. Twilight was her family, her baby. She felt as if the cat had been a gift, a survivor like herself in need of nurturing.

  “How could somebody harm an innocent animal?” she asked Clay through tear-blurred eyes. “What kind of person could do such a thing?”

  He sat down next to her and with his thumb swiped an errant tear from her cheek. “A monster. But unfortunately this world is full of monsters disguised as human beings. In my twenty years on the force I’ve met a million.”

  “Is that why you’re retiring? Chucking it all?” she asked curiously. “I’m sure you get tired of dealing with the worst of human nature.”

  He shrugged. “Sure, I see a lot of bad, but I also see the best human nature has to offer. It’s rewarding work. I’ve always felt like I make a difference, help keep the monsters at bay for good people.”

  Without thought, she reached up and placed her palm against his cheek. She could feel the whisker stubble that darkened his jaw, and beneath that the warmth of his skin. “You’re a good man, Clay Clinton,” she said softly.

  “No, I’m not,” he countered. “If I were a truly good man, I wouldn’t be thinking about kissing you right now.”

  Ann’s breath caught in her throat as a thrill shivered through her. Although she knew it was probably a mistake, knew she was too fragile at the moment to make rational decisions, she couldn’t stop herself. “What I want to know is why you’re just thinking about it and why you aren’t doing it.”

  His eyes flared with fiery intensity and Ann leaned toward him, wanting to immerse herself in the flames. His mouth claimed hers hotly, hungrily. There was nothing tentative about the kiss. It was as if he’d been preparing for it for a long time.

  As he deepened the kiss, his tongue meeting hers, his arms wrapped around her and pulled her closer. She melted against him, wanting to conform herself to his broad chest. Her fingers played in the thick hair at the nape of his neck, as she marveled at the silkiness of the strands.

  Still the kiss went on, breathtaking yet life giving. Warmth suffused her, chasing away the cold core of heartache. Her body felt electrified and shivers of delight continued to work up her back. She knew he was just as affected by their kiss. His breathing had deepened, become irregular and his hands moved up and down her back in slow, sensual strokes.

  When he finally broke the kiss, he disentangled her arms from around his neck, then leaned back and drew in a ragged breath. “Whew,” he finally said. “I’d better get out of here before caution gets thrown to the wind.”

  He started to rise, but paused as Ann held on to his arm. “Clay...
please. Let’s throw caution to the wind.” She couldn’t believe the words had fallen from her mouth, but the minute she spoke them she realized it was exactly what she wanted. She dropped her hand from his arm.

  “Ann...” He stood up. “I don’t want to take advantage of you. You’re shaken up and in an emotional frame of mind.” Despite his words, she saw the want in his eyes, knew he desired her as strongly as she desired him.

  “I’m a grown woman, Clay. You aren’t taking advantage of me.” She stood and moved so she stood mere inches from him.

  “Yes, but...”

  “Shhh.” She placed a finger over his lips. “I know. In a month’s time you’re going to Hawaii. Tomorrow doesn’t matter. All that matters is the here and now. Stay with me tonight, Clay. Make love to me.”

  She gasped as he drew her to him once again. His mouth claimed hers in another mind-reeling kiss. His hands went to her hips and he pulled her intimately against him, allowing her to realize the extent of his arousal.

  When the kiss broke, she took his hand and without a word led him down the hallway and into her bedroom. She’d never had a man in here before, although many nights she’d slept alone and dreamed of passion, and strong masculine arms holding her tight.

  She didn’t turn on the lamp. The illumination from the hallway spilled into the room, creating a soft, penumbral light. She stood by the edge of the bed, eager yet afraid of appearing too brazen.

  He seemed to sense her fear. He unbuckled his gun belt and placed it on the nightstand, then approached her. With a soft smile he kissed her on the cheek, then began to unfasten the buttons of her blouse. Once he had them all unbuttoned, he slid the blouse off her shoulders, kissing first one, then the other as the blouse fell to the floor.

  He started to unsnap her slacks, but she stopped him, wanting to be an active participant in their foreplay dance. Her fingers trembled as she undid his shirt. It had been so long...so very, very long. As his shirt fell away she leaned forward and pressed her lips against his hot flesh. He hissed inwardly and tangled his hands in her hair, pulling her up so their lips could meet again.

  Within minutes they had divested themselves of the rest of their clothing. Ann pulled down the bedspread and together they got into bed beneath the sheets.

  Flesh against flesh, warmth against warmth, Ann felt drugged from the tactile pleasure of Clay’s body wrapped around hers. His lips moved from her mouth to the hollow of her throat, blazing a trail of fire each place they lingered. The slight wisp of whiskers only intensified her pleasure and she gasped aloud as his mouth moved from the base of her neck to the turgid tip of one of her breasts.

  Moans welled up in her throat, moans too powerful to keep inside her. Deep and throaty, they escaped her as his mouth continued to trek down her stomach and across her inner thighs.

  Teasing, maddening, he caressed her with his hands and mouth, exploring her inch by inch, loving her in increments that made her want to scream.

  Every nerve ending felt electrified beneath the magic of his touch. She sobbed his name as he carried her closer and closer to fulfillment. When she finally reached it, she clung to him, crying with joy.

  “Wait...I’ve got to catch my breath,” she finally gasped.

  He smiled and kissed her cheek. “You are so beautiful,” he whispered.

  She rolled over on top, straddling him, her eyes gleaming with renewed fire. “And you are a very generous lover. But, now it’s your turn.”

  She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, at the same time touching the tips of her breasts to his chest. The light spilling in the bedroom doorway loved her, imbibing her skin with a rich golden hue. Her pale hair spilled onto his chest as she moved her mouth down the flat of his abdomen.

  As he had done to her, she explored his body with gentle touches and sweet kisses, exhibiting a passionate nature that both surprised and enthralled him.

  It didn’t take long before Clay realized his control was about to fail. She felt too good. Her lips were too hot. With a low moan he rolled her over on her back. He braced himself above her, gazing into her dazed dark blue eyes. For just a moment it was as if he were no longer looking at her, but rather into her, seeking her soul, seeking the very essence of her.

  The moment was lost as he entered her warmth. She wrapped her legs around him, pulling him deeper. He closed his eyes, overwhelmed by sensation. He wanted it to last forever, but knew he was rushing toward the brink and couldn’t stop it.

  He wanted to tell her to wait just a minute, to stop moving so sweetly, so seductively against him. He wanted to tell her to lie still so he could regain a little bit of control, but she met him thrust for thrust, making it impossible for him to speak, impossible for him to do anything but love her.

  He cried out her name as he reached his peak, vaguely aware of her crying out at the same time. In that moment they seemed to melt together, become a single entity through an incredible form of osmosis. It was as if not only their bodies had bonded, but for a brief space in time their souls had touched as well.

  When they were finished, Clay rolled off her, but kept her enfolded in his arms. They didn’t move but instead waited for heartbeats to slow, for their breathing to return to normal. She moved so her head rested on his chest and he stroked her hair, enjoying the sweet fragrance of the silky strands.

  “Clay?” She didn’t look at him.

  “Hmm?”

  “Thank you.”

  He emitted a burst of laughter. “Sweetheart, I should be thanking you. That was...” He sought words and realized all that came to mind seemed inadequate to describe what he’d just felt. “It was very special.”

  She looked at him, her eyes dewy and her lips slightly swollen from his kisses. “Yes, it was special.” A small frown appeared across her forehead. “Clay...I just want you to know...I don’t sleep with every policeman I meet.”

  He smiled. “And I don’t sleep with every attractive damsel in distress I meet.” Clay felt himself stir, desire once again swirling through him. Even now, so soon after being sated, he wanted her again...and again.

  “Will you stay here for the rest of the night?” she asked.

  “Okay,” he agreed, tamping down his rising desire as she stifled a yawn with the back of her hand. “But I’ll have to leave early in the morning.”

  She nodded. “Just hold me through the night.”

  Once again she lay her cheek against his chest and he resumed caressing her hair. Her sweet scent filled the air and her silky skin seemed to surround him. He could feel the press of her soft breasts against his side, and beneath the warm flesh, the resounding beat of her heart. A sense of incredible peace stole through him.

  He was grateful he’d told Ann about his pending retirement and plans to leave the mainland, so there could be no mistake about what he had to offer her. He didn’t want to hurt her, and as long as she understood his future plans there could be no misunderstanding, no misconceptions about what they had just shared.

  Still, he couldn’t deny that he felt something for Ann aside from his enormous physical attraction. She intrigued him. He found her a curious mix of contradictions. Controlled, yet with a passionate streak. Strong, yet oddly vulnerable. A loner whom he sensed was lonely. Definitely intriguing.

  He closed his eyes, knowing sleep was only moments away. He’d just about fallen into slumber when Ann moved out of his arms. “Wha...what’s wrong?” he asked as she crawled out of bed.

  “Nothing. It’s okay. I just need to do something.” She walked over to the bedroom door and closed, then locked it. “Now I can sleep,” she murmured as she got back under the covers and cuddled against him.

  Immediately she fell asleep. Her breathing grew deep and regular and her body seemed to melt against him in complete and utter surrender.

  He frowned, his gaze going to the door she’d closed and locked. It bothered him that the outer doors being locked up tight was not enough, that she also had to lock the bedroom door to feel safe. Th
e night he’d slept on her sofa, he’d heard her lock her bedroom door and had assumed she’d been locking him out. Now he realized that hadn’t been right. She’d been locking herself in.

  Was it only the events of the last week that had her so frightened or had she always been afraid? Clay couldn’t imagine living with such fear. He touched her hair and looked at her features in the moonlight streaking through the window.

  He hoped he could find the crazy man causing her grief, prayed he could find him before anything else bad happened. More than anything, before he retired from the force, he wanted to give her a sense of security, a feeling of safety to last her a lifetime. Most of all, he wanted her to be able to go to sleep without feeling the need to lock her bedroom door.

  Chapter 9

  Clay woke up with the dawn, for a moment disoriented by the strange surroundings. The faint glow of light danced on the brightly colored bedspread and immediately he remembered. He was with Ann.

  At some point in the night they had separated, each seeking their own side of the bed. He turned over and looked at her, his heart expanding at her beauty even in sleep. She was curled in a fetal ball, her hands folded beneath her cheek. Her hair was a curtain of pale silk fanning out across the pillow.

  Before his hormones could fully awaken, he slid out of bed, not wanting to disturb her sleep. He dressed quickly, then kissed her softly on her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open at his touch and her lips curved upward in a smile.

  “I’m leaving. I’ll lock you in and call you later this morning,” he said.

  She nodded and before he was out of the room she was once again asleep. He locked her bedroom door and closed it behind him, then carefully locked the front door when he left.