[AF04] - The Opal Deception

by Colfer, Eoin

  After several feet the tunnel widened into a bulb- shaped chamber. The walls glowed a gentle green. Mulch had explained that too. The walls were coated with dwarf spittle, which hardened on prolonged contact with air, and also glowed. Amazing. Drinking pores, living hairs, and now luminous saliva.

  What next? Explosive phlegm? He wouldn’t be a bit surprised. Who knew what secrets the dwarfs were hiding up their sleeves?

  Or in other places?

  Butler kicked aside a pile of rabbit bones, the remains of previous dwarf snacks, and sat down to wait.

  He checked the luminous face of his Omega wristwatch. He had dropped Mulch at Tara almost thirty minutes ago; the little man should be here by now. The bodyguard would have paced the chamber, but there was barely enough space for him to stand up, never mind pace. The bodyguard crossed his legs, settling down for a power nap. He hadn’t slept since the missile attack in Germany, and he wasn’t as young as he used to be. His heart rate and breathing slowed until eventually his chest barely moved at all.

  Eight minutes later, the small chamber began to shake violently. Chunks of brittle spittle cracked from the wall, shattering on the floor. The ground beneath his feet glowed red, and a stream of insects and worms flowed away from the hot spot. Butler stood to one side, calmly brushing himself down. Moments later a cylindrical section of earth dropped cleanly out of the floor, leaving a steaming hole.

  Mulch’s voice drifted through the hole, borne on the waves of the stolen shuttle’s amplification system.

  ‘Let’s go, Mud Man. Move yourself. We have people to save, and the LEP are on my tail.“

  On Mulch Diggums’s tail, thought Butler, shuddering. Not a nice place to be.

  Nevertheless, the bodyguard lowered himself into the hole and through the open roof hatch of the hovering LEP shuttle. Police shuttles were cramped, even for fairies, but Butler could not even sit up straight in a chair, even if there had been a chair wide enough for him. He had to content himself with kneeling behind the command seat.

  ‘All set?“ he inquired.

  Mulch picked a beetle from Butler ‘s shoulder.

  He shoved it into his beard, where the unfortunate insect was immediately cocooned by hair.

  ‘For later,“ he explained. ”Unless you want it?“

  Butler smiled, but it was an effort. “Thanks.

  I already ate.“

  ‘Oh, really? Well whatever you ate, hold on to it, because we are in a hurry, so I may have to break a few speed limits.“

  The dwarf cracked every joint in his fingers and toes, then sent the craft into a steep spiraling dive. Butler slid to the rear of the craft, and had to hook three seat belts together to prevent further jostling.

  ‘Is this really necessary?“ he grunted through rippling cheeks.

  ‘Look behind you,“ replied Mulch.

  Butler struggled to his knees, directing his gaze through the rear window. They were being pursued by a trio of what looked like fireflies, but what were actually smaller shuttles. The crafts matched their every spiral and jink exactly. One fired a small sparking torpedo that sent a shock wave sparking through the hull. Butler felt the pores in his shaven head tingle.

  ‘LEP uni-pods,“ explained Mulch. ”They just took out our communications mast, in case we have accomplices in the chutes somewhere. Those pods have got a lock on our navigation’s system. Their own computers will follow us forever, unless.“

  ‘Unless what?“

  ‘Unless we can outrun them. Get out of their range.“

  Butler tightened the belts across his torso. “And can we?”

  Mulch flexed his fingers and toes. “Let’s find out,” he said, flicking the throttle wide.

  The Eleven Wonders, Temple of Artemis Exhibit, The Lower Elements

  Holly and Artemis huddled together on the small island of rotting carcasses, waiting for the trolls to finish their bridge. The creatures were frantic now, hurling rock after rock into the shallow water.

  Some even braved placing a toe in the currents, but quickly drew them out again with horrified howls.

  Holly wiped water from her eyes. “Okay,” she said. “I have a plan. I stay here and fight them. You go back in the river.”

  Artemis shook his head curtly. “I appreciate it. But no. It would be suicide for both of us. The trolls would devour you in a second, then simply wait for the current to sweep me right back here. There must be another way.”

  Holly threw a troll skull at the nearest creature. The brute caught it deftly in his talons, crushing it to shards.- “I’m listening, Artemis.”

  Artemis rubbed a knuckle against his forehead, willing the memory block to dissolve.

  ‘If I could remember. Then maybe…“

  ‘Don’t you remember anything?“

  ‘Images. Something. Nothing coherent. Just nightmare pictures. This could all be a hallucination. That is the most likely explanation.

  Perhaps I should just relax and wait to wake up.“

  ‘Think of it as a challenge. If this were a role-playing game, how would the character escape?“

  ‘If this were a war game, I would need to know the other side’s weaknesses. Water is one…“

  ‘And light,“ blurted Holly. ”Trolls hate light. It burns their retinas.“

  The creatures were venturing onto their makeshift bridge now, testing each step carefully. The stink of their unwashed fur and fetid breath drifted across to the little island.

  ‘Light,“ repeated Artemis. ”That’s why they like it here. Hardly any light.“

  ‘Yes. The Glo-Strips are on emergency power, and the fake sun is on minimum.“

  Artemis glanced upward. Holographic clouds scudded across an imitation sky, and right in the center, poised dramatically above the temple’s roof, was a crystal sun, with barely a flicker of power in its belly.

  An idea blossomed in his mind. “There is scaffolding on the near corner of the temple. If we could climb up and get to the sun, could you use the power cells from our cuffs to light up the sun?”

  Holly frowned. “Yes, I suppose. But how do we get past the trolls?”

  Artemis picked up the waterproof pod that had been playing Opal’s video message.

  ‘We distract them with a little television.“

  Holly fiddled with the pod’s on-screen controls until she found brightness. She flicked the setting to maximum. Opal’s image was whited out by a block of glaring light.

  ‘Hurry,“ advised Artemis, tugging Holly’s sleeve. The first troll was halfway across the bridge, followed by the rest of the precariously balanced bunch. The world’s shaggiest conga line.

  Holly wrapped her arms around the tele-pod.

  ‘This is probably not going to work,“ she said.

  Artemis moved behind her. “I know, but there is no other option.”

  ‘Okay. But if we don’t make it, I’m sorry you don’t remember. It’s good to be with a friend at a time like this.“

  Artemis squeezed her shoulder. “If we make it through this, we will be friends. Bonded by trauma.”

  Their little island was shaking now. Skulls were dislodged from their perches, rolling into the water. The trolls were almost upon them, picking their way across the precarious walkway, squealing at every drop of water that landed on their fur. Any trolls still on the shoreline were hammering the earth with their knuckles, long ropes of drool swinging from their jaws.

  Holly waited until the last moment for maximum effect. The tele-pod’s screen was pressed into the rubbish heap, so the approaching animals would not have a clue as to what was coming.

  ‘Holly?“ said Artemis urgently.

  ‘Wait,“ whispered Holly. ”Just a few seconds more.“ The first troll in the line reached their island. This was obviously the pack leader. He reared up to a height of almost ten feet, shaking his shaggy head and howling at the artificial sky. Then he appeared to notice that Artemis and Holly were not in fact female trolls, and a savage rage took hold of his tiny bra
in. Dribbles of venom dropped from his tusks, and he inverted his talons for an upward slash. Trolls’ preferred kill strike was under the ribs. This popped the heart quickly and did not give the meat time to toughen.

  More trolls crowded onto the tiny island, eager for a share in the kill or a shot at a new mate.

  Holly chose that moment to act. She swung the tele-pod upward, pointing the buzzing screen directly at the nearest troll. The creature reared back, clawing at the hated light as though it were a solid enemy. The light blasted the troll’s retinas, sending him staggering backward into his companions. A group of the animals tumbled into the river. Panic spread back along the line like a virus. The creatures reacted to water as though it were acid dappling their fur and backpedaled furiously toward the shore. This was no orderly retreat. Anything in the way got scythed or bitten. Gouts of venom and blood flew through the air, and the water bubbled as though it were boiling. The troll’s howls of bloodlust changed to keening screams of pain and terror.

  This can’t be real, thought a stunned Artemis Fowl. I must be hallucinating. Perhaps I am in a coma, following the fall from the hotel window. And because his brain provided this possible explanation, his memories stayed under lock and key.

  ‘Grab my belt,“ ordered Holly, advancing across the makeshift bridge. Artemis obeyed instantly. This was not the time to argue about leadership.

  In any case, if there were the slightest possibility that this was actually happening, then Captain Short was better qualified to handle these creatures.

  Holly wielded the tele-pod like a portable laser cannon, advancing step-by-step across the makeshift bridge. Artemis tried to concentrate on keeping his balance on the treacherous ground. They stepped from rock to rock, wobbling like novice tightrope walkers. Holly swung the tele-pod in smooth arcs, blasting trolls from every angle.

  Too many, thought Artemis. There are too many.

  We can never make it.

  But there was no future in giving up. So they kept going, taking two steps forward and one step back.

  A crafty bull ducked low, avoiding Holly’s first sweep. He reached out one talon, cracking the pod’s waterproof casing. Holly stumbled backward, knocking over Artemis. The pair keeled over into the river, landing with a solid thump in the shallow water.

  Artemis felt the air shoot from his lungs, and took an instinctive breath. Unfortunately he took in water rather than air. Holly kept her elbows locked, so the ruptured casing stayed out of the river.

  Some splash drops crept into the crack, and sparks began to play across the screen.

  Holly struggled to her feet, simultaneously aiming the screen at the bull troll. Artemis came up behind her, coughing water from his lungs.

  ‘The screen’s damaged,“ panted Holly. ”I don’t know how much time we have.“

  Artemis wiped strands of hair from his eyes.

  ‘Go,“ he spluttered. ”Go.“

  They trudged through the water, stepping around thrashing trolls. Holly chose a clear spot on the bank to climb ashore. It was a relief to be on dry land again, but at bar least the water had been on their side, as it were; now they were truly in troll territory.

  The remaining animals encircled them at a safe distance. Whenever one came too close, Holly swung the tele-pod in its direction, and the creature skipped back as though stung.

  Artemis fought the cold and the fatigue and the shock in his system. His ankle was scalded where the troll had snagged him.

  ‘We need to go straight for the temple,“ he said through chattering teeth. ”Up the scaffolding.“

  ‘Okay. Hold on.“

  Holly took several deep breaths, building up her strength. Her arms were sore from holding the tele-pod, but she would not let the fatigue show in her face, or the fear. She looked those trolls straight in their red eyes and let them know they were dealing with a formidable enemy.

  ‘Ready?“

  ‘Ready,“ replied Artemis, although he was no such thing.

  Holly took one final breath, then charged. The trolls were not expecting this tactic. After all, what kind of creature would attack a troll? They broke ranks in the face of the arc of white light, and their disconcertion lasted just long enough for Artemis and Holly to charge through the hole in the line.

  They hurried up the incline toward the temple.

  Holly made no attempt to avoid the trolls, running straight at them. When they lashed out in temporary blindness, they only caused more confusion among themselves. A dozen vicious squabbles erupted in Holly and Artemis’s wake, as the animals accidentally sliced each other with razor-sharp talons. Some of the cannier trolls used the opportunity to settle old scores. The squabbles chain-reacted across the plain until the entire area was a mass of writhing animals and dust.

  Artemis grunted and puffed his way up the ravine, his fingers wrapped around Holly’s belt.

  Captain Short’s breathing had settled into a steady rhythm of quick bursts.

  I am not physically fit, thought Artemis. And it may cost me dearly. I need to exercise more than my brain in the future. If I have a future.

  The temple loomed above them, a scale model, but still over fifty feet high. Dozens of identical columns rose into the holographic clouds, supporting a triangular roof decorated with intricate plaster moldings. The columns’ lower regions were scarred by a thousand claw marks where younger trolls had scampered out of harm’s way. Artemis and Holly clambered up the twenty or so steps to the columns themselves.

  Fortunately there were no trolls on the scaffolding. All of the animals were busy trying to kill each other, or avoid being killed, but it was only a matter of seconds before they remembered that there were intruders in their midst. Fresh meat. Not many of the trolls had tasted elf meat, but those who had were eager to try it again. Only one of the present gathering had tasted human meat, and the memory of its sweetness still haunted his dull brain at night.

  It was this particular troll who hauled himself from the river, carrying twenty extra pound’s of moisture weight. He casually cuffed a cub who had come too close, and sniffed the air. There was a new scent here. A scent he could remember from his short time under the moon. The scent of man. The mere recognition of the smell brought saliva flowing from the glands in his throat. He set off at a pitched run toward the temple. Soon there was a rough group of flesh-hungry beasts hurtling toward the scaffolding.

  ‘We’re back on the menu,“ noted Holly when she reached the scaffolding.

  Artemis unhooked his fingers from the LEP captain’s belt. He would have answered, but his lungs demanded oxygen. He whooped in gulps of air, resting his knuckles on his knees.

  Holly took his elbow. “No time for that, Artemis. You have to climb.”

  ‘After you,“ Artemis managed to gasp. He knew his father would never allow a lady to remain in distress while he himself fled.

  ‘No time for discussion,“ said Holly, steering Artemis by the elbow. ”Climb for the sun. I’ll buy us a few seconds with the tele-pod. Go.“

  Artemis looked into Holly’s eyes to say thank you. They were round and hazel and… familiar? Memories fought to be free of their bonds, pounding against cell walls.

  ‘Holly?“ he said.

  Holly spun him around to the bars, and the moment was gone. “Up. You’re wasting time.”

  Artemis marshaled his exhausted limbs, trying to coordinate his movements. Step, grab, pull.

  It should be easy enough. He’d climbed ladders before.

  One ladder at least. Surely.

  The scaffold bars were coated with gripped rubber, especially for climbers, and were spaced precisely sixteen inches apart, the comfortable reach distance of the average fairy. Also, coincidentally, the comfortable reach of a fourteen-year-old human. Artemis started to climb, feeling the strain in his arms before he had risen six steps. It was too early to be tired. There was too far to go.

  ‘Come on, Captain,“ he gasped over his shoulder. ”Climb.“

  ‘Not just
yet,“ said Holly. She had her back to the scaffold and was trying to find some pattern in the approaching bunches of trolls.

  There had been an in-service course on troll attacks in Police Plaza. But that had been in the event of a one-on- one situation. To Holly’s eternal embarrassment, the lecturer had used video footage of her own tangle with a troll in Italy over two years ago. “This,” the lecturer had said, freezing Holly’s image in the big screen, and rapping it with a telescopic pointer, ‘is a classic example of how not to do it.“