Seductive Chaos

by A. Meredith Walters

  “Well, I’m supposed to go with my friends.”

  Theo shrugged. “I rented a limo. The company always springs for them. We could all go together,” he offered and that seemed to take some of the pressure off.

  “Sure, that sounds great,” I agreed. I was relieved that Theo didn’t seem to be holding my idiotic behavior against me. He was such a nice guy and I really needed more nice in my life.

  “Great! I’ll pick you and your friends up at your place around eight on Saturday!” Theo gave me a wave and headed over to several of his co-workers that had come in to see the progress.

  My phone beeped in my pocket and I pulled it out to find a text from Cole.

  In New York. Wish me luck.

  Six words. That was it. But it lifted my mood instantly.

  Not even hesitating I quickly typed out a response.

  Good luck, Cole.

  I didn’t get a reply. I hadn’t expected one. But my day felt a whole lot brighter.

  By the evening, however, I was on pins and needles wanting to know what had happened in the meeting with the label. After receiving the text from Cole earlier, I had honestly thought he’d call afterwards. But there had been nothing but radio silence.

  I tried calling Maysie several times but her phone went straight to voicemail.

  “Have you heard from Maysie?” I asked Gracie after she got home from her last day at the coffee shop. She had gotten the job with the garden magazine and was set to start on Monday.

  Though, she seemed less than thrilled about it. I didn’t exactly understand what her problem was. It was a hell of a lot better than making espressos every day.

  “Nope, were we supposed to?” she asked, kicking off her shoes and padding into the kitchen to make herself something to eat.

  I followed on her heels. “Today was the meeting with the record label,” I told her.

  “Oh, that’s right,” Gracie mused; pulling out the leftover lasagna I had made the other night.

  “I just thought we’d hear something by now, but Maysie’s phone is off when I tried to call her,” I said, annoyed by how unbothered Gracie seemed by the situation.

  “Why don’t you call Cole, then,” she suggested. I grit my teeth together.

  “Why in the world would I call Cole?” I asked defensively.

  Gracie looked over her shoulder as she put the pasta in the microwave and turned it on.

  “I don’t know. Maybe because he was over here the other night and I could hear exactly what you were doing through our super thin walls,” she explained, giving me a wry look.

  “You were here?” I squeaked, mortified that Gracie had heard us. Not that it was the first time and it wasn’t as though I hadn’t been subjected to all manner of noises from within her bedroom.

  But I hadn’t wanted anyone to know that he had been here. I wasn’t ready to talk about what it meant because he had spent the night. I wasn’t ready to talk about what we were to each other now.

  “I do live here, you know,” Gracie responded dryly, taking her pasta out of the microwave and dumping it into a bowl. She grabbed a fork and passed by me on her way into the living room.

  “I didn’t hear you come in. I just thought you stayed out,” I excused lamely.

  “I’m sure you didn’t hear me. I don’t think you could hear much of anything with all the racket you two were making.”

  “Oh whatever! Like you’re any quieter,” I huffed.

  Gracie stirred her pasta with her fork and ate a mouthful as she regarded me.

  “I was surprised when I recognized Cole’s voice moaning your name. I hadn’t expected to find him here. Especially not now.”

  “Yeah, well he showed up and we hung out and. . .”

  “You decided to get naked?” Gracie supplied.

  “It wasn’t like that!” I maintained.

  “When is it ever not like that?” Gracie asked.

  “I didn’t plan for us to sleep together.”

  “Well, from the sounds of it, there wasn’t a whole lot of sleeping going on,” Gracie laughed.

  “I’m glad you think it’s so damn funny. Should we spend some time talking about your trip on the bone train with Mitch? Maybe we can dissect that for my amusement,” I snipped, irritated.

  Gracie cleared her throat and covered her smile with a cough.

  “Enough said. I get it. Sorry. You just made it clear you were done with all of that. And by all of that I mean Cole and his magic penis.”

  “It was different this time.” I sounded like such a girl. Ugh!

  “Of course it was.” Gracie rolled her eyes and I had to wonder when she became so cynical. That was normally Riley’s MO. Gracie was the peppy optimist. Something had changed in her and I found it disturbing at how hostile she sounded.

  Gracie got up and looked down at me, her expression softening, her pinched mouth relaxing. “I just don’t want you to get hurt, Viv. And Cole always seems to hurt you.”

  “I won’t let him. I’m not even sure he’ll have an opportunity to get close enough to hurt me.”

  Gracie’s eyes were troubled. “He’s always that close, Viv. Even when you pushed him away.”

  I chewed on my bottom lip stared down at my hands. “He told me he loved me,” I admitted in a whisper.

  Gracie sat back down heavily. “He what?” she gasped.

  “He said he loved me.”

  “Wow.” I looked up at my friend and she seemed almost as dazed as I was.

  “I’m pretty sure he wants us to be together,” I finished.

  “You’re pretty sure? What does that mean?”

  “It means we didn’t have a chance to really talk about it! I kicked him out!” I threw my hands into the air in frustration.

  Gracie started to giggle. I looked at her sharply and she covered her mouth. But then she was laughing hysterically. And then I joined her. We were laughing like a couple of mentally unstable hyenas.

  “You two are absurd!” Gracie chortled.

  “I know!” I agreed.

  “You seriously belong together. There’s no one out there that will ever put up with either of you for very long,” Gracie continued, settling down.

  “Hey!” I whined, not liking the sound of that at all.

  “It’s the truth! Look at yourself. Look at how you are together! You’re both overdramatic, narcissistic, attention seeking fools.” I started to bristle at the insult, even if I got the impression she didn’t mean it as one.

  I wasn’t narcissistic was I? I could be dramatic. But narcissistic? Really?

  “You’re both stubborn and unyielding. And 100% made for each other.”

  “But the other women. . .” I started to say.

  “Yeah, there’s that,” she said, getting serious.

  “How can I ever trust him?” I asked, my voice a plea.

  Gracie shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not sure I could ever get past all that. But I’m not you. And I can’t pretend to understand the crazy dynamics of your relationship. Trust is something you will obviously have to work on if you want to be together. It will take time. Do you want to be with him?”

  Did I want to be with Cole?

  He drove me crazy. I hated and loved him in equal measure. He lit me on fire and stoked the flame.

  When we were together, I didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  When we were apart, I only wanted to be with him again.

  Did I want to be with him? Yes I did. But at what cost to myself?

  “I think I do. I just don’t know if I’m up for it.” I clenched my hands together in my lap.

  “I guess you have your answer then. It doesn’t really matter what anyone else has to say about it. I can’t pretend to understand why you’d want to put yourself through that. But I’ll support you anyway. It’s what friends do. And if he ever touches another woman, I’ll break each and every one of his fingers. . .slowly. . .one at a time. Just for you, Viv,” Gracie promised, grinning.

 
I chuckled. “Good to know.”

  I was back in Bakersville putting on my tuxedo. My nuts felt like they were in a vice and I was pretty sure I had picked up the wrong sized monkey suit.

  I straightened the shiny silver tie and took the ring out of my lip. My hair was wild, but there wasn’t much I could do about that.

  I looked like a fucking waiter.

  The things guys did for the chicks they loved.

  I smoothed out the collar and figured it was about as good as it was going to get.

  I slung my black jacket over my shoulder and headed out the door.

  Time for my grand gesture.

  I just hoped I didn’t take a kick to the gut for the effort.

  Four days ago I had been in New York. Four days ago I had finally figured out what I was going to do.

  I had finally manned up and made a decision.

  And it had been fucking liberating.

  After playing with the guys at Garrett’s, not much more was said about the upcoming meeting and what we planned to do. We left it open ended and up in the air. Not the best plan when you were sitting down with your record label to talk about the future of your music.

  But we were all still little too volatile. And even though we had a moment where we came together in total synch the way we always had been able to, it didn’t erase the months of bad blood that had built between us.

  So I had left that day and gone home and packed for New York.

  Jose met me at the airport on Tuesday around lunchtime. I had just landed and sent a quick text to Vivian. She had responded immediately. And even though the text had been short, it still made me happy.

  I wasn’t sure with how we left things whether she would have written back at all.

  But she had. And that gave me a sliver of hope on this otherwise shitty day.

  I had flown up by myself. Jose had insisted that I come in before the other guys. He had arranged for someone to collect Jordan, Mitch, and Garrett just before the meeting.

  “You and I have some shit to discuss,” Jose declared, steering me towards a black sedan. I threw my overnight bag in the back. I hadn’t known exactly what would happen once I got to New York, so I had come prepared to stay over. If things went south, I wasn’t sure I could head back to Bakersville right away.

  Who knows where I’d end up?

  “You are one hard asshole to get ahold of. Is there a reason you haven’t returned any of my calls? I need to know what you’re planning to do today. I have people on the line waiting to know what you decide, Cole. This isn’t how shit is done!” Jose said tersely. He clenched his teeth as he wove through traffic.

  “I get that. I just wasn’t sure what I was going to tell you,” I answered honestly. No sense in mentioning the fact that I had spent most of the past week drunk off my ass and feeling fucking sorry for myself.

  “Then we talk it out. I need your head in the game. I want to get you to where you need to be, Cole. I thought we were getting on the same page. I thought you wanted this. I hope like hell I didn’t misread you. I thought you were someone who would fight tooth and nail for the fame and the recognition. You want it. I see it every time you get on that stage. And everyone else sees it too. Which is why Deep Hill fucking wants you. They don’t go after just anyone. But they’re going after you.”

  I didn’t say anything. I watched as the Manhattan skyline got closer and closer. Jose’s lip service was kind of grating. This was a guy who only wanted me for what I could give him.

  I could suck three ways to Sunday but if I could make him a buck or two, Jose would surgically implant his lips to my ass.

  “Are you hearing me, Cole? This is your chance! You’d be a fucking idiot of you didn’t do it. Do you realize how many young artists would murder their own grandma to have the chance that is sitting in your lap? Open the glove compartment,” he barked, obviously irritated by my lack of response.

  I thought about telling him to shove his demands straight up his nose, but didn’t want to end up in the Hudson River sleeping with the fishes.

  I opened the glove compartment, not sure what I was looking for.

  “Get those papers out,” he directed.

  I pulled out a stapled stack of paperwork and saw my name and Jose’s at the top.

  “That’s your new contract. The one that let’s me work with you. Just you. There’s a pen in there as well.” He thought I was just going to sign it. That I was going to do whatever the hell he told me to do.

  “What’s the hold up? Just sign it. It’s a standard contract. Nothing crazy.” He was being awfully pushy.

  Traffic into Manhattan was a bitch. And things inside the car were getting markedly tenser.

  “I’m not signing these right now, Jose. There’s a lot going on. I need to get through the next few hours, if you don’t mind,” I said firmly. I was sick and tired of this dick bossing me around. He was supposed to be working for me, not the other way around.

  Jose seemed shocked by my new set of balls.

  “Yeah, sure. I get it. I wouldn’t worry about today. I’ve already spoken to Tate at the label and we’re going to be able to dissolve the contract without a whole lot of bullshit. The label will keep the album but you’ll be able to go elsewhere when all is said and done.”

  “You did what?” I couldn’t believe Jose had taken it upon himself to do that shit! Who the hell did he think he was? I had never said that was the direction I wanted to go in! I didn’t appreciate anyone, let alone Jose fucking Suarez, handling my life for me.

  “It’ll just be a matter of signing some papers and then it’s over. I’m sure you’ll get the bad little boy scolding. But who gives a fuck? You’re moving on to bigger and better things, my friend,” Jose was saying, but I barely heard him.

  “So they want to dissolve the contract?” I clarified. Damn it! The guys were going into this blind. I had to tell them what was going on. This shit wasn’t cool.

  “You didn’t think Pirate Records would want to keep an unknown band on after the drama you’ve had on the tour? Apparently Primal Terror has been pretty vocal about your infighting. And Pirate is a young company. They don’t want to be attached to such an unpredictable act. But it’s no skin off your nose. You’ll come up smelling like roses.”

  “And what about Garrett, Jordan, and Mitch?” I asked, interrupting him.

  “What about them?” Jose seemed confused.

  “Where does that leave them?”

  “I don’t know. But they’re not my concern. Making you bigger than Jesus is,” Jose grinned and it chilled me to the bone.

  I didn’t say anything else. The wheels in my head were turning a million miles a minute. We finally pulled up almost an hour later, in front of the non-descript stone building that housed Pirate Records headquarters. It definitely wasn’t the fancy glass skyscraper one would expect to see when going to a record label. It was squished between a hairdresser and a dry cleaner.

  I got out of the car and Jose made to follow me. I held my hand out, stopping him.

  “You don’t need to come with me,” I told him, reaching into the backseat and grabbing my bag. I rolled the new contract up in my hand and smacked my knee with it.

  “I’m your fucking manager, of course I’m coming with you. I’ve got to make sure things go the way they’re supposed to. Then afterwards we can go over that new contract.”

  “No, we’re not,” I stated, handing him the rolled up paperwork.

  “What the hell are you doing, Cole?” Jose narrowed his eyes at me.

  “I’m giving you your shitty contract back and I’m telling you to go fuck yourself.” I grinned a little maniacally and started to open the door.

  “You stupid little shit. Do you realize what you’re doing? You’re throwing away everything. You think you’ll get anywhere without me?” he sneered.

  I shrugged. “I don’t really care. I just know I’d rather live in the fucking streets than sign those papers. You were supposed to be th
e manager for Generation Rejects. You’re a backstabbing, calculating, cunt and you’re definitely not the sort of person I want representing me. I’d say it was nice knowing you. But then I’d be talking out of my ass.”

  I didn’t give Jose a chance to respond. I climbed out of his car and shut the door. I flipped him the bird and walked up the sidewalk.

  Damn, that felt good.

  The sound of Jose’s squealing tires as he pulled away was the best thing I had heard so far today.

  One down, one to go.

  I had to wait for a while once I found my way to the label’s reception room. The other guys weren’t there yet and the longer I sat by myself, the more I started to question the sanity of my decision.

  I had just fired Jose. I had just flushed my great opportunity down the fucking toilet.

  I was throwing everything into the ring for guys who may not want me in the band anymore.

  Whatever the risk, I couldn’t have done it any other way.

  Finally Jordan, Mitch, and Garrett showed up. They saw me in the corner and came over to join me.

  “Where’s Jose?” Mitch asked.

  “Gone,” I said shortly.

  “Gone? What do you mean he’s gone? He’s supposed to be here!” Jordan demanded, sounding a little panicky.

  “I fired him. We don’t need him here, guys. We’ve got this. And we definitely don’t need someone like Jose running the show. That guy’s a snake.”

  “You made that kind of decision without talking to us about it first?” Jordan demanded and I rolled my eyes.

  “Don’t start this shit now, Piper. Do you trust some guy who has spent the last few months trying to break up the band to look after our best interests?” I snarled.

  “You can’t make decisions like that for the band, Cole. This is the fucking problem!” Jordan’s voice rose and Garrett shushed him.

  “He handed me a new contract on the ride over here. A contract for exclusive representation by him. Excluding the three of you! He was planning on to drop you on your ass, man. So I dropped him on his first,” I shot back, glaring at him.

  Jordan didn’t say anything. His shoulders slumped and he sat back in his chair.