Love's Sweet Surrender

by Love's Sweet Surrender (lit)

  Lily stood in stunned silence as she watched the wagon pull away from her and head out of town. Not sure what to make of Seth Sanford, she picked up the basket she'd been carrying when the horse scared her, and she headed back toward the school. She had plenty to do without thinking about him and how nice it had felt being held against his chest. It was just because I was startled, that’s all.

  Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, she approached the school and stepped inside. There were lessons to prepare, and she had the daunting task of separating the children into groups according to their learning abilities and their ages today. She had hoped to be able to spend some one-on-one time with Anne, but it didn’t appear that was going to happen in the next few days. She needed to get the children on a schedule and figure out how to incorporate some games into their learning to keep their attention. Not having much time to prove her worth to the people of Parkville, she would have to create some vast improvements in the structure of the curriculum. It was a daunting task, to say the least, but she felt exhilarated just thinking about it.

  * * * *

  Seth woke early the next day to a cloudy, almost rainy, morning. When he headed out to the barn to saddle his horse, the sight of the woman with her big green eyes floated in front of him. Trying to block the memory of her against his chest, he wiped his hand over his eyes.

  Damn, it has been too long since I have been with a woman, that’s all. He shivered at the memory of her in his arms.

  Six months. It’s been six months since… since Victoria died.

  The dimness of the barn fit his mood this morning as he saddled his horse to fix some fencing in the east pasture. Mounting the big gelding, he jammed his heels into the side of the powerful animal, and the horse broke into a full gallop within seconds. The gelding's hooves pounding into the dirt beneath him and the rush of air in his ears, usually helped to quell the memory of his wife, but today nothing seemed to dissipate the guilt surrounding him.

  Victoria haunted him last night in his dreams again, calling to him to help her, but he couldn't reach her. She was always too far away with her hand outstretched, beseeching him. He had dreamt the same dream almost every night since her death, but last night it was different. No longer was it Victoria crying for him to help her. After the first few moments of the dream, the image changed. Now, it was the big, green eyes of Lily, the beautiful teacher, which disturbed his sleep.

  Rain fell from the sky as he flew across the hills and valleys of his property. Pelting him with big drops, the rain soaked him to the skin in a matter of minutes. Instead of heading to the fence he knew he needed to repair, he headed to the hill with the big oak tree just past the river.

  The horse skid to a halt beneath the tree and its rapid breathing filled the silence. The rain continued to come down in large drops as Seth slowly approached the stone resting beneath the tree.

  He touched the cold marble and knelt beside it then traced the letters with his fingers while hot tears scalded his cheeks. “Victoria Marie Sanford. Beloved wife and mother. Born 1851. Died 1883. Aged 32 years.”

  She had gone riding that morning in the south pasture as was her usual routine. Victoria loved to ride alone in the mornings. She said it helped her to clear her head.

  When she hadn’t returned home by early afternoon, he went looking for her. He had found her not far from where her grave now stood. Victoria had been lying on the ground in a pool of blood, her horse nowhere to be found. He picked her up in his strong arms and cradled her against him, then rode as fast as he could without hurting her back to their house.

  During the ride, she whispered how she'd come across some men squatting on their land. They had built a campfire and were laughing and joking as they passed around a jug of whiskey. When she had approached them, she could see lots of money on the ground. She said she must have startled them, because one of the men became enraged, pulled his colt revolver and shot her in the chest. They had taken her horse and left her for dead.

  Seth’s eyes glazed over with the hatred he felt and the pain in his heart. It was so unfair! She had everything to live for, and everything had been taken when they killed her. She was no longer there to be his loving partner or a mother to their children.

  For several months after her death, he spent days with his gun tied to his thigh. He set up rocks on fence posts, and he would practice, practice and practice some more, until his aim was just right. Before Victoria's death, he hadn't much use for guns, but it had become a part of him. The cold steel of the revolver in its holster never left his side. One day, he would find the men who were responsible for her death, and he would make them pay with their lives.

  He sat next to her grave for some time before he realized the rain had stopped, and the sun was beginning to set in the sky. When he had gone over the events in his mind again, he could hear her voice crying for help. God he hated that sound! He should never have let her go off alone that morning. If he had been there, if only he had been there, he might have been able to stop it. It was his fault, and now he would pay for the rest of his life, as would his children, who would now grow up without a mother.

  The sun had set before Seth rode back into the yard of their home. Walking through the front door, he didn’t even notice the children playing on the floor until Jarod came up and wrapped his arms around Seth’s waist. Unable to give Jarod the reassurance he needed, Seth pulled himself from his son’s grasp, grabbed a bottle of whiskey from the sideboard and retreated to his office.

  Chapter Six

  The next morning found Lily already at the school as the children began filing in. It is cloudy and raining again today, so the children will be restless.

  When Johnny, Jarod, and Anne came in the door, it was obvious something was wrong by the looks on their faces. Unfortunately, she wasn’t able to get them alone to find out what was bothering them before the other children arrived. The three children were very quiet and pensive throughout the day. There were no smiles from any of them, so Lily made it a point to talk to them after school.

  “Johnny, may I speak with you and your brother and sister before you leave?” Lily stopped them as the other children began filing out of the schoolhouse at the end of the day.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  “Children.” Lily bent down to look into their eyes. “Is there something wrong?”

  All three kept their silence.

  “I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what the trouble is,” Lily prodded, taking Anne’s hand in hers.

  Still the children were silent, until there was a sound from the back of the room, and all four sets of eyes rested on the tall, handsome man who now stood formidably in the doorway.

  “Children, wait in the wagon,” Seth ordered as Lily watched him approach.

  “Yes, Poppa,” the boys said in unison, scrambling toward the door. Before he turned and fled the room, Johnny stopped momentarily at the doorway and looked back at Lily with eyes that pleaded for her to understand.

  “Mr. Sanford.” Lily rose to her feet and turned her back on Seth as she retreated behind her desk. He is very intimidating when he’s angry. A chill rolled down her spine, and she shivered.

  “Mrs. Backman. I believe that we need to get a few things straight relative to my children.”

  “Oh?” Lily questioned, turning back around to face him when he stepped closer to her desk.

  “Yes. I will thank you not to pry into our business, ma’am. The children have been through a lot in the last six months with their mother’s death.”

  “I understand that, Mr. Sanford, but you need to allow them to grieve as well. If they aren’t allowed to grieve, they will not be able to move past it.”

  “Mrs. Backman,” Seth growled with anger bright in his eyes. “I understand you must have lost your husband around about the time I lost my wife, but that doesn’t make you an expert on how to deal with grieving children.”

  “I don’t proclaim to, Mr. Sanford, but I do know childre
n, and yours have kept their feelings bottled up inside for six months. Your daughter won’t speak. Do you know why?”

  “No,” Seth admitted. “She hasn’t spoken since her momma died.”

  “Precisely, Mr. Sanford. Has she cried for her mother? Have you talked to her about her mother? Have you allowed her to cry with you over the loss? You need to get those children to open up to you about their feelings concerning her death. From what Johnny has told me, it was rather tragic, and I’m sorry for your loss, but it would be better for all of you if you were all able to grieve. You would be surprised at how much better you would feel.” Lily finished her speech and sat down in her chair, completely worn-out by their conversation and trying to make Seth understand.

  “What I do with my children is my business, Mrs. Backman, and I’ll thank you to remember your place.” Seth seethed with anger, and Lily saw the irritated sparks flashing in his eyes. “You are their teacher, and as their teacher, you are to teach them to read, write and do sums, not counsel them on how they should be feeling or acting.”

  When he was through, he turned on his heel and stomped out of the building. The door slammed behind him with a resounding bang.

  “What an infuriating man!” Lily jumped to her feet after Seth slammed the door behind him and started to pace across the floor. “He’s going to be impossible to deal with.” After a moment she grabbed her things from her desk and headed toward the door only to find Madge’s nephew standing in the doorway. He pulled his hat from his head and water sluiced from the brim onto the floor.

  “Sorry ma’am. I didn’t mean to disturb you, but my Aunt Madge insisted I come over and talk to you.”

  Lily returned her things to her desk. “Ah yes, Daniel, isn’t it? Your aunt told me that you might be interested in some tutoring.”

  “Yes, ma’am, Daniel Roberts. My aunt raised me after my parents died when I was a kid, and because I had to help her with the boarding house, I didn’t get a full education. My readin’ and writin’ ain’t the best.”

  “I would be happy to help you.” He looks vaguely familiar. “Do I know you from somewhere? I mean, not just the boarding house when you brought the tub up, but from somewhere else? Did you ever live in Boston?”

  “No, ma’am. Never been out of Texas,” he mumbled, and his face turned a little paler under his tan.

  “Well, I’m sure it will come to me. I’m usually really good with faces and such. When would you like to start?”

  * * * *

  Daniel had heard her argument with Seth when he approached the schoolhouse. Nosy little misses. She needs to keep out of other folks' business if she wants to stay on here.

  She hadn't been unaware of his presence in the back of the room until she was ready to leave, and it gave him a chance to study her. Her big green eyes and slightly curly hair made her a pretty piece to look at, but he was afraid of spending too much time with her, afraid she would recognize him. Their sessions would have to be short and to the point, just enough to satisfy his aunt.

  “Could we just do maybe an hour or so, just so we can start slow, that is?”

  “Yes, of course. You do realize that if we only spend an hour at a time, and if that is only a couple of days a week, it will take some time for you to relearn everything you should have learned in school.”

  “That’s all right, ma’am. I ain’t in no hurry. How’s about we start tomorrow afternoon?”

  “That would be fine, Mr. Roberts. I have some things to do tonight anyway for the children, so tonight wouldn’t be a good idea. If you’ll come by here about three tomorrow afternoon, we can start then.”

  “I’ll be here at three then. Thank you, miss,” he said, turning his back on her and heading for the door.

  Once he reached the outside, he cursed under his breath. Damn it! She's going to catch on for sure if I'm not careful. He slapped his hat on his leg before he slammed it back on his head and quickly headed toward the nearest saloon.

  He pushed through the swinging doors and swaggered up to the bar. Holding up a finger, he motioned for the barkeep to bring him a drink. Moments later a shot glass full of whiskey appeared in front of him. He wrapped his hand around the glass and brought it to his lips when another man slid up next to him. His gaze met the man's in the mirror over the bar for a split second before he tipped his head back and threw the contents of the glass into the back of his throat.

  "We hittin' the train tomorrow?"

  Daniel hissed out of the corner of his mouth, "You fool! Do you want to get us locked up? Don't talk about this here!"

  "Sorry, boss. I just wanted to make sure 'fore I head home tonight."

  "Check with me tomorrow." He turned to his right and pinned the man with an angry stare. "If you ever approach me in public again, I will blow your brains all over the floor."

  The other man held up his hands and backed away. He spun on his heels and disappeared through the swinging doors, and Daniel turned back toward the bar and motioned for another drink.

  * * * *

  With her thoughts zipping across her mind in quick secession, Lily walked back to her little house. Thoughts of Edward and Kathleen crossed her mind; the parents she had thought were hers who turned out not to be, in reality. She couldn’t hate them for what they had done, but she was still angry with them for not telling her all these years. They weren't happy when she told them she had taken the teaching job here, but they said they understood. When Arthur had called off their engagement, news spread like wildfire. He'd told her it had been because he didn't love her, but her other friends made sure she knew the gossip being spread around the community. By the next afternoon, the entire town of Boston knew about her real parentage and of her broken engagement. What a hypocrite! She sighed. It's probably best.

  Then the strange man, Daniel Roberts, tripped across her mind. He seemed nice enough, she supposed. His aunt came across as the most vivacious, talkative, exuberant person she had ever met. Madge had such a bubbly personality that it shined bright in everything she did. Her nephew seemed to be just the opposite. He also seemed to be very jumpy. When he had talked to her about the tutoring, he constantly shifted his glance around him. Very strange indeed.

  The Sanford children. She had almost gotten them to open up to her, that is, if their infuriating father hadn’t come in with his snapping blue eyes and angry disposition. He had obviously been very upset with her for prying into their business, but he just wouldn’t listen when she tried to explain her actions. I'm only trying to help, for heaven’s sake. Pulling out her key when she reached her house, she unlocked the door and pushed it open.

  She dropped her purse on the table and turned up the wick on the lamp to illuminate the room. A strong arm snaked around her waist, and a hand clamped down on her mouth not allowing her to scream. She struggled and squirmed against the arm holding her tight against the solid chest behind her, trying to break the firm hold.

  When her booted foot delivered a well-placed kick to a shin, the hand came off her mouth and the arm disappeared.

  She grabbed the lamp and swung around.

  “Damn it, woman!”

  The lamplight spilled across the threshold, and she was surprised to see Seth Sanford hopping on one foot, holding his shin in his hand.

  “What the hell did you do that for?”

  Anger rippled down her back and she shouted, “What are you doing?”

  His eyes snapped while he stood rubbing his shin. “I came over to apologize.”

  Hands planted on her hips, she snorted, “You have a funny way of doing it then. Since when do you come up behind someone, put an arm around her and cover her mouth if you are here to apologize?”

  * * * *

  Seth really hadn’t come to frighten her. When he reached home, his behavior with the schoolteacher had embarrassed him, so he dropped the children off and drove back to town with the intention of apologizing.

  She'd been completely unaware of anyone around her while she walked in
the rain. He was afraid that if he startled her, she would scream and alert the whole town to his presence in her house. He really didn’t want anyone thinking there was something going on between him and the pretty teacher, not now, not ever.

  The infuriated female in front of him now, with her chest heaving from exertion and fright, caught his male attention. Anger made her face flush and her eyes sparkle, and he wondered what she would look like sated after making love. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. I don't need her kind of female. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to frighten you. I knew you hadn’t heard me come up behind you, and I didn’t want you to shout in surprise, that’s all. You seemed to be lost in thought.”

  Her anger seemed to deflate, and her shoulders relaxed.

  “I’m sorry, too. How is your shin?”

  “Probably bruised pretty good, but I'm sure it'll be fine.”

  “Well, since you are here, please come in so I can close the door. The rain is coming down much harder now.”

  Seth moved inside the little house and closed the door behind him to shield them from the rain.

  “Would you like some coffee?”

  He caught himself watching the sway of her hips beneath her frock when she moved toward the kitchen.

  “This rain will chill you to the bone even if it’s still rather warm outside.”

  “Sure. Thanks.” His eyes began to wander about the front room of the home. She’s done a lot with it in just a few days. It had been very dark and dingy when he had been here before, and the people of Parkville had tried their best to spruce it up a little for the arrival of the new teacher. Lily had hung some pretty curtains on the windows, and her books lined the shelves along each wall that he had built himself. She returned from the kitchen a moment later, bringing his attention back to the beautiful woman in front of him.

  “The coffee will be ready in a few minutes. Did you take the children home before you came back? I hope they are not sitting out in the wagon still.”