“I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Lily. Are you sure about this?”
“It’s perfect. I really should be going now. I have several things to do this afternoon. Thank you so much for breakfast and keeping my secret. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She swept down the porch, untied the buggy from the railing and climbed in. When she pulled away from the house, she waved to him and with a huge smile turned toward town as Seth sank into one of the rockers on the porch.
“Now what the hell am I going to do?” he grumbled and raked his fingers through his hair again.
Carmen came out of the front door, and he jumped in response to her voice. “Mr. Seth?”
He hadn’t heard her at all while his thoughts centered on the brown-haired woman who had just turned his day upside down.
“Sorry, Carmen. I didn’t hear you. What can I do for you?” He stood again, ready to head back toward the barn. He had work to do, and hopefully it would keep his mind off Lily.
“That’s quite all right. You are preoccupied by the new schoolteacher, yes?”
“Yeah, you could say that,” Seth replied with a sheepish grin.
“She is a pretty one. You could do worse.”
“It’s not like that, Carmen. She’s concerned about the children. That’s all, nothing more.” Seth dodged her curious look a little too convincingly and was afraid Carmen saw right through his facade of indifference.
“Of course,” Carmen replied with a wide grin.
“I’m going to the barn. Make sure the children stay near the house, please. And wipe that grin off your face. She means nothing to me.”
Seth stepped off the porch, and with a swift stride he arrived at the barn but not before Carmen’s hearty laugh reached his ears.
Damn meddling woman.
The dimness of the barn surrounded him, but he truthfully wasn't sure if he meant Carmen, or Lily. Both of them needed to stop trying to make him do things he didn’t want to do. Not that he didn’t like Lily--he liked her a lot, probably too much if he were to be honest with himself, but she was going to be nothing but trouble. He didn’t need her type of woman in his life, the type who wanted to help all the time, a fine, upstanding woman. He was fine just the way things were. Carmen took care of the children, and he could concentrate on finding the men responsible for killing Victoria.
Lily wanted him to open his heart and let the flood of emotion out he'd kept hidden for so long. He could feel it in the warmth of her hand on his arm or on his shoulder. He could see it when she looked at him with those green eyes with the little flecks of gold, the same ones he had found so easy to drown in. He could hear it in her voice when she spoke in a whisper for only his ears. She was trouble. He had known it from the first time he had seen her on the train. She had spunk when she’d stood up to all of the townspeople and asked them to let her try to teach their children. Her kindness was breaking down his resolve in small little pieces and tearing down the iceberg around his heart. If he wasn’t careful, she would burrow herself there before he knew what hit him.
The wall he’d put between himself and all the other people around him, even his children, had started to crumble, but he would just have to build it back up, that’s all. She had chipped a good-sized hole in it, that’s for sure, but he would fix it. He had to make the men pay for what they’d done, and that was all he lived for now. Until that was accomplished, nothing else mattered.
The sun started to set in the evening sky, and Seth realized he would have to leave soon. He had dreaded this evening all day, even while he tried to occupy his mind with chores around the house. When the children had found out he would be having dinner with their teacher, they talked about it continuously. Carmen had quickly informed them after Lily's visit that their Poppa would be calling on Mrs. Backman. It had put them in a twitter all afternoon and first thing this morning. He knew he had to go through with it, since Lily wouldn’t take no for an answer, but that didn’t mean he had to like it.
When she opened the door, his eyes widened, and he took in her appearance. She had not put her hair up on her head tonight, and he hadn’t realized how long her hair really was. It settled at her hips with a bit of a curl, and she’d pulled it back in a pretty ribbon. The dress she wore was satin brocade that hugged her curves, showing off her perfectly rounded bosom and the nice flare of her hips. She looked absolutely beautiful!
This is going to be one hell of a long night. Blood rushed through his veins and settled between his legs as he stifled a soft groan.
She brushed her fingers across her nose. “Is there flour on my nose or something?” She chuckled and said, “Please come in.”
“Uh… sorry." He dropped his gaze and stepped inside the house.
“Can I get you something to drink?” Lily asked, closing the door and following him into the living room. “I’ve made coffee, but I also have some tea or water. I think I even have some whiskey left by the previous occupant here somewhere.”
“Whiskey? Really?”
“Yes. It was hidden in one of the kitchen cupboards up in the corner. I’m not one for liquor, so I thought I would save it for company. Would you like some?” He searched around him for somewhere sturdy to sit and decided on a sofa off to his left. “You can sit on the sofa if you like. It’s sturdy enough I think.”
“Thanks. And yes, I’ll take a little of that whiskey.” He eased himself down; hoping the piece of furniture would hold his weight.
“Coming right up. Dinner will be ready shortly. I just need to finish the gravy. I'll be back in a moment.”
When she returned, she handed the small glass to him, and he gulped it down in one swift motion. Her eyes widened in shock, but she didn't say anything. She took the glass and disappeared to the kitchen.
She returned a moment later and said with a teasing smile, “You might need to take this one a little slower. The bottle isn’t that big.”
“Sorry.” He brought the glass to his lips and sipped the amber liquid slowly.
“It’s quite all right. Please excuse me. I’m going to put dinner on the table if you’d like to go into the dining room.”
Seth stood, and his head began to swim just a bit with the change in position. Whiskey on an empty stomach does bad things to my mind. He took a deep breath and followed her pretty little backside into the dining room. Finding an empty seat at the table, he eased into the chair.
The good china was out, with some nice silver and even some pretty wildflowers in a glass vase to compliment the tablecloth. He hadn’t sat at a regular dining table in a long time. It made him a bit uncomfortable when he eyed all the delicate things in the room, from the curtains to the china and the cloth napkins on the table. He’d forgotten a well-to-do family in Boston raised her, so she would be comfortable in a setting like this, but he wasn’t.
Lily came back through the doorway of the kitchen, carrying a heavy serving tray with chicken, beautifully fried to a perfect golden brown, and placed it in front of him. While she bent over the table to set the dish down, his eyes took in a wonderful display of bosom revealed to his appreciative male gaze. The dress obviously had been made specifically to catch a man’s attention, and catch it, it did.
She stopped at the back of her chair and he scrambled to his feet to hold it for her. Positioned behind her this way, he caught the hint of lavender again, and he groaned softly.
Peeking over her shoulder, she asked, “Is there something wrong?”
“Uh… no, everything is fine,” he mumbled, sitting back down in his chair. “This looks wonderful. I didn’t know you could cook.”
“Actually, I’m a pretty good cook, if I do say so myself. I used to bother the cooks back home to teach me, so I’ve learned to cook several things. I love to experiment in the kitchen.”
His gaze moved to her lips, and his mind raced to a conclusion he was sure he shouldn’t be thinking at all with her innocent words. She didn’t mean what his mind conjured up, and he almost groaned
aloud again. “Would you mind if I have a little more of that whiskey?”
“No, of course not.” She reached for the bottle and refilled his glass before handing it back to him. His hand shook slightly when he reached for it.
This is going to be a very long night. He took the glass and swallowed the entire contents in one gulp.
She placed her napkin in her lap and grasped her fork as he set the glass back down on the table. “Now, shall we discuss the children?”
“Children?” he squeaked, his voice rasping like he hadn’t spoken in a very long time. His mind had gone completely blank. He tried to pull his scattered thoughts back to the matter at hand instead of on how her lips might taste.
“Yes. The children, your children." She looked at him with a patient smile. "You know, Johnny, Jarod and Anne?”
“Yes,” he said, trying to focus on his meal. “The children. I’m sorry. My mind was elsewhere.”
“Why don’t you tell me more about your wife? I’m actually very curious about her. Johnny has told me a few things, but maybe you could shed some light on her personality and such.”
He shot her a piercing glance. Damn it! Why does she have to prod? Why can't she leave well enough alone?
Standing quickly, he moved toward the window and stared out into the darkness. He really didn't want to share things about Victoria, but before he knew it, he was telling Lily everything.
“Victoria was a very beautiful girl with her long, blonde hair and pretty blue eyes. All the men in the area sought out her attention, but she only had eyes for me. We had been sweethearts for so long. It seemed only natural for us to be married, so when we were old enough, we did. I bought the land out where our house now stands right before we got married and started building our place. She was so excited to have her own house. Her parents had been kind of poor, so she didn’t have much growing up. She had several brothers and sisters, and there was never enough to go around, but when we got married, I made it up to her. She had everything she wanted, pretty clothes, a nice place and lots of things that made her happy. When she found out she was with child, she was so excited. She would tell me all the time that she wanted nothing more than to be a mother, and she would dream of having a baby to take care of. Everything was perfect. We had our place, we had our children, and we had each other. Then it was all gone. In one swift motion, it was gone. She was gone.” Tears burned his eyes as the words spilled from his mouth. The pain was still so raw and so real.
He hadn’t realized it, but Lily stood behind him, and when he stopped talking, she slipped her arms around him and just held on. She placed her head against his back, and he could feel her warm skin through his shirt and something else.
He loosened her arms and turned around only to see tears streaming down her cheeks as she looked up at him.
Tears for me?
He brushed the tears from her cheek with his thumb. His thoughts scattered when he looked into her eyes still shining bright with more unshed tears. All thoughts of Victoria faded into the background of his mind as the woman before him began to capture his heart.
I need to taste her. He captured her lips with his in a soft but all-encompassing kiss. The salty tang of her tears on her lips shot straight to his heart. They were tears she had shed for him, and the feeling that engulfed him was beyond anything he had ever felt before. No one had ever cried for him.
With a soft moan, he deepened the kiss, sliding his arms around her and pulled her tight against his chest, losing himself in the taste of her mouth.
* * * *
Before she’d been able to comprehend what was happening, his lips were on hers. The pressure on her mouth increased, and she felt the tip of his tongue slip along the crease of her lips. She opened to him and allowed the intimacy he asked for. She’d never been kissed like this before, but the feeling spreading through her was like a wildfire. Heat consumed her to the point that her whole body began to warm to his touch.
A loud knock on the door interrupted their kiss, and they jumped apart guiltily. His gaze moved across her face in almost a caress.
When the knock came again, she stammered, “I… uh… I need to see who is at the door.”
She sucked in a ragged breath to calm her shaking nerves before she headed toward the front door. With trembling hands, she smoothed her hair back and straightened her skirt.
Opening the door, she saw Madge standing on her porch with a bright smile on her face.
“I came to invite you for supper. I know you and Daniel have been spending a lot of time together. I thought it would nice if you came over to spend the evening.”
“I… uh …”
“I know it is late notice and all, but I hate to think of you eating all alone every night.” Madge stepped through the doorway, and Lily stepped aside.
Lily felt him before he touched her. She knew with every nerve ending in her body that he stood behind her, and when she heard Madge exclaim in surprise, it confirmed her suspicions. His warmth penetrated her very soul.
* * * *
Why in the devil did I kiss her? His mind raced, and he ran his fingers through his hair. That was the last thing he needed to do right now, and he sure didn’t need to get involved with her. When he heard Madge mention Daniel Roberts and Lily seeing each other, he moved to make his presence known to the woman at the door. With a possessiveness he didn't quite understand, he laid a hand on Lily's shoulder.
“Hello, Madge, nice to see you.”
“Seth. What a surprise.” Madge's gaze swept from him to Lily and back again. “I’m sorry, Lily. I didn’t realize you had company.”
“I should be going anyway.” He moved toward the door and grabbed his hat from the rack nearby. “Thank you for dinner. We will have to continue this… uh, conversation another time.”
“But…” Lily’s voice reached his ears just as he pulled the hat down on his brow.
“'Night, Madge. Lily.” He walked out the door and tipped his hat to the two women. He swung into the saddle and turned toward home.
Once he reached the outskirts of town, he chastised himself for what had happened. I should never have kissed her. What the hell was I thinking? He couldn’t betray Victoria like that. He wouldn’t be able to move on with his life until he found her killers, and to encourage Lily was just wrong. He would have to set things straight with her immediately.
His mind ricocheted to Madge’s comment about Daniel and Lily seeing each other, and he wondered if her words held any truth. He knew Daniel had dropped by the schoolhouse the other day, and they had seemed friendly enough, but he couldn’t help wondering. Were they romantically involved? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t like the thought of her kissing Daniel like she had just done with him moments before. She felt so soft in his arms and her lips on his… he needed to stop thinking about it, or he wouldn’t get any sleep when he returned home. The uncomfortable bulge behind the fly of his pants made him squirm in the saddle as the house came into view in the distance.
Chapter Nine
The two women watched Seth mount and ride away before Madge turned back toward Lily and apologized. “I’m sorry, Lily.”
“Don’t worry yourself, Madge. He only came over so we could discuss the children, nothing more. There isn’t anything between us except friendship.”
Madge had been startled to see Seth at Lily’s when she stopped by, but when she followed Lily into the dining room, she noticed the two place settings at the table. Obviously there was more to this evening than Lily was letting on. Madge picked up a couple of the dishes herself to bring into the kitchen.
“Are you sure I didn’t interrupt something?” She placed the dishes in the sink and smiled when Lily blushed “After all, Seth is a very handsome man and a very eligible bachelor.”
Lily avoided looking at her and said, “Really, Madge, it was nothing.”
“It didn’t look like nothing to me when he put his hand on your shoulder.”
Lily shrugged. “We'
re friends, Madge. It was just a friendly gesture.”
“All right, if you say so. There is nothing wrong with being attracted to the man. He’s a fine specimen, if you ask me. I may be old, but I ain’t dead.” Madge smiled when the pretty blush returned to Lily's cheeks.
“Obviously not, Madge.” Lily returned her smile. “He is very handsome at that, but he’s very much still in love with his wife.”
“He’ll have to move on sooner or later. Nothing wrong with you helping him move on, you know.”
“I’m not sure he ever will. He is still harboring a lot of grief, guilt and anger right now.” Lily grabbed more dishes and returned to the kitchen again.
“Very true, but it’s a start if he’s willing to spend time with you, even if it’s under the pretense of discussing his children.” Madge pulled the tablecloth from the table and began folding it.
“It’s not a pretense, Madge. His children need some guidance and to be able to grieve for their mother. I’m trying to convince him to help them with it. In order for him to allow them to grieve, he has to himself. He has so much anger and guilt from her death, I just don’t know if he’ll ever be able to move past it.” Madge followed behind as Lily slid the dirty dish into the water and began to scrub it clean. Lily quickly changed the subject. “How is Daniel doing?”
“He’s fine. He enjoys your afternoons together with his tutoring.”
“He’s a very smart man, but he needs to focus more.” Lily gave her a questioning look. "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
“Has he always whispered? I mean, is there something wrong with his voice?”
Madge was shocked. She had never thought about it, but no, Daniel didn’t whisper. “Why no. Why would you say that?”
“He always seems to talk very softly when he’s around me, and I’m not sure why. I guess at some point I’ll ask him. I just thought maybe there was some medical reason for it, that’s all.”
“That’s rather odd. His voice tends to be a bit gravely, I guess, but nothing that would cause him to talk in a whisper. Maybe he’s attracted to you, Lily, and it’s his way of getting your attention.”
Love's Sweet Surrender Page 8
