She had been taught very early in Boston to handle a rig by Edward, and she sent up a silent "thank you" as the horse clipped along the road headed out to the Bar S Ranch.
It really is beautiful here. The trees were in full bloom now, and the grass glistened in the morning sun while the dew dried on the tall stocks of field grass and flowers along the roadway. The heat started to climb as she rode along at a good clip, and she realized the weather would be warm today.
Seth mentioned the ranch wasn’t that far from town when he’d visited her house, so she didn’t expect the trip would take long.
In no time the ranch house came into view around the bend in front of her, and she was surprised to see the many flowers around the front. She hadn’t thought there would be any feminine touches to the home with his wife gone, but it appeared someone kept up the flowers and such. She could see there were pretty curtains blowing in the breeze at the kitchen window. When she stopped the buggy, she could hear a soft, womanly voice humming. Carmen. She’d almost forgotten about the woman whom Johnny had mentioned helping around the ranch.
Johnny came bounding out of the front door in greeting. “Mrs. Backman! What are you doing out here today?” He grasped the reins and wrapped them around the railing for her.
“I came to talk to your father, Johnny. Is he up and about yet?” Lily swept her skirts aside and stepped from the buggy.
“Yes, ma’am. He’s been up since early this morning, I think. Let me go find him for you. I think he's in the barn.” Johnny grinned and took off at a full run toward the barn.
Lily took a seat in one of the rockers sitting empty on the front porch. A moment later, the door opened suddenly and a large-busted, sturdy-looking woman appeared wiping her hands on her apron.
“May I help you?”
“Hello,” Lily replied. “I’m Mrs. Backman, the teacher from in town. I came by to see Seth, I mean, Mr. Sanford.”
Carmen approached Lily and held out her hand in greeting. “I’m Carmen. I help around the house and with the children for Mr. Seth. It is nice to meet you, ma'am. Is there a problem with the children?”
Lily took Carmen’s hand in hers, feeling the warm calloused palm. “Well, in a way, yes, but I need to speak to Mr. Sanford about it even though I know you are very close to them. They speak very highly of you.”
A smile spread across Carmen’s face at the mention of the children, and Lily could see the love she held for them in her heart reflected in her brown eyes. She knew they were in good hands with this loving woman.
“I will see about something to drink for you then, ma'am. Have you had breakfast?”
“Don’t go to any trouble on my account. I’m just fine, thank you.”
“I need to prepare breakfast for the children anyway, so I’ll just make some extra.” Carmen headed into the house before Lily could tell her not to bother fixing anything for her.
Lily stood, watching Seth and Johnny approach from the barn, so she was not quite at such a disadvantage when he came bounding up the steps.
* * * *
Seth had risen early, anticipating the long work day ahead with stalls to repair and tack to clean. He retreated to the barn, the welcoming quiet a balm to his restless soul after his encounter with Lily yesterday.
Seeing Daniel in the schoolhouse tore at his gut. He didn’t want to think of her with his nemesis in any fashion, much less in the scenes running rampant through his mind this morning. When Johnny came rushing into the barn to tell him Lily was there, Seth's blood rushed in his ears, and those very scenes changed. Now he imagined himself with her, and desire raced through his body, making it a little hard to breathe. He started toward the house with Johnny trying desperately to keep up. “She wants to talk to you, Pop.”
“I’m sure she does,” Seth replied, his eyes fixed on the pretty young woman gracing his front porch.
“Mrs. Backman, to what do we owe the pleasure?”
He let his gaze caress her form, and he noticed she looked quite fresh, even with the ride in the dusty buggy. Her spring frock, with the short sleeves and rounded neckline, was quite appropriate for the climate. However, it just left that much more to his overly vivid imagination of late.
“Seth, I mean, Mr. Sanford, we need to discuss the children.”
Hearing her words, he pulled his mind back to the sound with an almost audible groan. Here we go again.
“I didn’t mean to intrude, but since we were not able to finish our conversation at the school the other day, I thought we might be able to today.”
“Ah yes—our conversation that was interrupted by your… company.”
“Company, yes, I mean no. Mr. Roberts is, I mean, was not my company. He came by to give me a message, that’s all,” she stammered slightly.
She doesn't want to me know about her acquaintance with Daniel.
“Johnny, leave us, please. I’m sure Carmen probably has breakfast ready by now.”
“Yes, Poppa. Is Mrs. Backman joining us?” Johnny asked before he shut the door.
“She can if she likes, son.”
“Thank you. That would be nice.”
Frown lines appeared between her eyebrows, and he wondered at the expression. Did she think I would deny her food after she came all the way out here from town? “Please join us then, Mrs. Backman.”
He really shouldn’t care about her relationship with Daniel, but he did. Lord, this woman can get under my skin.
When the family sat down to eat, all eyes were fixed on Lily. Seth could tell the children were very tense during breakfast. Their normal behavior consisted of talking every chance they got during the meals. This morning, the silence was deafening as Lily, picking at her food, sat next to him.
“If you would like something else, I’m sure Carmen would be happy to fix it for you.”
“Oh no, this is wonderful. I’m just not much of a breakfast eater. Carmen is a very good cook.”
Silence prevailed until he finished and the children picked up their plates, took them into the kitchen and scrambled away.
“Would you like more coffee?”
“Yes, please.” Carmen appeared at her side to refill her cup. “I’m sorry I didn’t eat much. I hate to be so wasteful with your food, but coffee and something light usually satisfies me.”
“What else satisfies you, Mrs. Backman?”
Lily nearly choked on her coffee before she quickly looked up, and he gave her an innocent smile.
“Ah, well… um… why don’t you tell me more about your life here in Texas, Mr. Sanford?”
Seth wanted to keep her off guard. He didn’t need for her to get too involved with his life and the lives of his children, but unfortunately, that’s exactly where she was headed. She had made a trip specifically to his home to talk to him, especially about Anne. He wished he could get her to understand he was doing what he felt best for them.
“My parents moved here before I was born. They were some of the first settlers in the area when there wasn’t much here except tumbleweeds and bluebonnets. They never had any more children, and after I turned ten, they contracted cholera and died within a few days of one another. I had it too, but I survived. A local family took me in, and Jack Sanford—that was his name, taught me everything about ranching.”
“So how did you meet and marry your wife?” Curiosity shone bright in her eyes, and he attempted to stab her with a piercing look to dissuade this line of questioning.
He tried to conceal the pain, but it was impossible when thoughts of Victoria rippled across his mind.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to pry,” she whispered, and he vaulted to his feet. He grabbed both of their cups and took them into the kitchen, but she followed close behind. “Seth,” she murmured behind him when they reached the kitchen and he stopped to place the cups in the sink.
He braced his hands on the counter when he started talk, and his eyes focused on some unimaginable thing in the distance. “We were sweethearts from a young ag
e. We kind of grew up together, and when we were old enough, I asked her father if he would allow me to marry her.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t bring up things that are painful for you, but I need to understand how things happened if I am to be able to help your children, especially Anne. She is such a sweet girl, and I know she needs you, but you have to be able to let go of your own pain and guilt before you can help her.”
“I wish you would understand, Lily. It won’t do any good to bring up her death, not for me, nor for the children.”
* * * *
Even though Lily felt him stiffen against her touch, she continued with her questions. “Did you love her that much?” She really didn’t want to hear all the details of his love for his wife, but she had to ask. He obviously cared very much for her if he continued to grieve, even now.
“You obviously loved your husband enough to want to spend the rest of your life with him.” He didn't look at her. “Yes, I loved Victoria. I never thought of being with anyone else.”
“Yes, well… my marriage was almost one of convenience, you could say. My father picked him out for me.” Lily winced at her white lie. She really couldn’t let anyone know she hadn’t ever been married. They would send her out on the first train back East. The town already had issues with her age, and if they knew she had never been married and traveled unchaperoned all the way to Texas, it would be the end of her tenure.
“You weren’t in love with him?”
“No, I guess I wasn’t,” she replied, averting her eyes so that he couldn’t see the truth.
Chapter Eight
His curiosity was piqued.
“Why don’t we go out on the porch? I’d like to hear more about you and your life in Boston.”
He took her arm with his big hand and steered her out the door to the nearby chairs waiting for them. “Tell me about your family.”
“You are quite clever, you know.”
“Me? I don’t know what you mean,” Seth said with a bit of a sheepish grin, sure she hadn’t realized he was changing the subject to avoid discussing his relationship with Victoria.
“Yes, you. I know what you are trying to do. You're trying to change the conversation around to me so that I quit asking questions about you and your wife. That’s fine for now, but we will discuss this later.”
She stepped to the railing of the porch and stared out into the yard. The sunlight danced on the ground while the leaves on the trees around the house filtered through the beams. The breeze rustled the trees overhead and lifted several tendrils of hair that had come loose from the matronly bun fastened to the back of her head.
He wished she'd worn it down. The tight knot did nothing to disguise the strands of red reflected in her hair when the sun hit it. The palms of his hands itched to run his fingers through the silky mass.
“A few months ago, I found out the parents I thought were mine really weren’t.” The strain in her voice from the pain in her heart whispered loud and clear. “A wonderful prominent family in Boston raised me, but one morning, I went into my father’s study to retrieve some papers for him, and I came across my birth record. It didn’t have Edward and Kathleen’s names as my parents. Come to find out, my real parents were friends of theirs. My father died shortly before my birth, and when I was born, my mother couldn’t take care of me. She asked Edward and Kathleen to raise me and then left the area. I don’t know where she is now, but my parents were actually Irish immigrants, so I guess that explains the green eyes.”
“So in another words, we were both orphans, so to speak.” When he looked at her now, it was like he was seeing her for the first time, or as if he saw her in a whole new light.
“I guess you could say that, yes. Anyway, after I confronted them about it, they told me the whole story. I was so upset at the fact that I was no longer a Backman, but actually a Flannery, that I applied for the position here. When the mayor accepted my application, I took the job, and here I am. Now you know my life’s story.” She finished with a sigh before she turned back around, and their eyes met.
After a moment he said, “There is just one thing that confuses me.” His gaze locked on her with great intensity.
“What’s that?”
“You said your adoptive parents' last name is Backman, correct?”
Lily’s face drained of color, and her voice squeaked. “Yes.”
“Then how is it that your last name remains Backman now?” Seth asked with a raise of his eyebrow. “Unless you really had never been married at all.”
* * * *
“Uh… well, you see…” Lily said, trying to figure out how she was going to get out of this one.
“You never were married, were you, Lily?” Seth's eyes narrowed in distrust.
Bowing her head to hide the terror in her eyes, she whispered, “No.”
“Why did you lie?” he growled and bolted to his feet, coming to stand directly in front of her, forcing her to look at him again.
“I couldn’t tell the town that I was a twenty-two year-old woman wanting to come to a place I’d never been before because I'd found out my parents weren't really my parents, Seth! They would have never let me come here. How would they have felt if I told them my fiancé broke off our engagement because I'm nothing more than the daughter of an Irish immigrant family?” she cried, standing toe-to-toe with him.
His height put her at a disadvantage, requiring her to tip her head back slightly to look him in the eye.
“Your fiancé really broke your engagement because of your heritage?"
"Yes."
"Why? That seems so cruel. He sounds like a cur."
"Arthur Welmington has a pedigree longer than your arm. To be married to a woman not of a blue blood, Yankee family just wouldn't do. I'm sure he thought my heritage would harm his business dealings or some such nonsense."
He sighed. "You’re right. The townspeople wouldn’t have entertained your application, much less offered you the position.”
“You aren’t going to tell them, are you? Please? You can’t tell them! I know that I’ve only been here a week or so, but give me a chance!”
He turned his back on her to look out over the yard and ran his hands through his hair. Now he was faced with the white lie she had told to secure the position here. Would he keep her secret? She didn’t know.
“Seth, please. You can’t say anything to anyone,” Lily pleaded, moving next to him and placing her hand on his arm.
* * * *
Now what was he going to do? If he kept her secret, it would surely come back to bite them both in the end, but he was beginning to realize he wanted her to stay for his own personal reasons, and revealing her lack of widowhood could be detrimental to her position here.
His gaze moved to her hand on his arm as the heat of her touch burned through his shirt like a branding iron on his skin.
Damn! Not even Victoria’s touch could scald me like hers does. His eyes moved from her hand to her face again, and she stared at him with those big green eyes brimming with tears. He knew he wouldn’t, couldn’t, say anything to anyone in town. He needed her here. His children needed her here.
“I won’t say anything, Lily,” Seth answered in almost a whisper.
“Thank you!” She threw her arms around his shoulders and hugged him like he was her savior.
Lost in the feeling of her in his embrace again, he set his hands on her hips to pull her close. He could smell the sweet scent of lavender in her hair, and it felt so good to hold her. He had almost forgotten what it felt like to hold a woman, and this one seemed to fit too well. Too well for my sanity. He brought his hands up to her waist and gently pushed her back until she let go.
“Oh! I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that,” she murmured, embarrassment coloring her cheeks.
“It’s all right.”
She was just a mite too close for his comfort right now as his body cooled from his reaction to holding her close.
“Now that you’v
e managed to change the topic of conversation to me, we need to change it back to the children. After all, that’s why I’m here.”
When he stepped away from her, Lily moved toward the chair and sat down, relaxing against the back.
“What? Oh yeah, the children,”
He had been lost in the sway of her skirt when she turned toward the rocker, so he had almost missed what she said. “Maybe this is not the right place for this conversation.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I don’t want the children to overhear something I’m not prepared to tell them just yet.”
“What do you suggest then?" Her big green eyes widened. "We could always have this conversation at my house.”
Lily’s suggestion was innocent, and he thought for sure she wasn't aware being alone with her was the last thing he wanted to do. “No! I mean, it wouldn’t be proper for me to be alone with you at your home.” It sounded ridiculous even to his ears after their conversation the other night, but it was the best thing he could think of right at this moment.
“Why not? The town thinks I'm a young widow, and having my students' parents to my home to discuss their children’s behavior isn’t out of the ordinary, I would think.” Lily stood and placed her hands on her hips. “I think that would be perfect. How about tomorrow evening? You could come to church and then come over for Sunday supper.”
“Uh… well… I don’t go to church.” Seth sighed and tried to think of a reason to avoid this situation she was determined to put herself in.
“Well, you don’t have to go to church, just come over in the afternoon for supper then. We can discuss the children in privacy. I think it’s a perfect idea.” Lily’s face brightened at the idea, and Seth closed his eyes before he pinched the bridge of his nose.
Love's Sweet Surrender Page 7
