by Jet MacLeod
“I hope so. I will write you and think about you every day until you return to me. Promise me that you will write me back, Reece, I couldn’t stand it if you didn’t,” she stated, frustrated by the situation that we were in.
“I will do my best,” I answered.
“That is all I can ask,” she replied.
I wanted to hold her. I wanted to remember the way her smile was when we sat under those trees. I wanted to stay every part of my body screamed out to tell her the truth, but it would kill her. I couldn’t do it.
“I love you, Reece,” she said, breaking my thoughts.
I turned and looked at her, unaware of the passion that was burning in my eyes. I wanted to lie her down and make love to her then and there on that blanket in our spot. I thought about it too long and my conscience won the battle. Somehow I had to tell her the truth; I had to make her understand everything about me.
“I love you, Rayne,” I replied.
Chapter Twenty
Rayne, the Gulch Pasture
I sat there in awe. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard him say to me. My eyes lit up with passion and I wanted to kiss him. I wanted him to say it again and again and again. I never wanted him to stop saying that to me.
“Tell me again,” I demanded.
“I love you, Rayne,” he said.
“Again,” I commanded.
“I love you, Rayne,” he answered.
I wanted to make him go on and on with it, but I decided that would be childish and stopped. It should have been enough for me that he even said it, but it wasn’t. I wanted more, more of him, more of those words, more time, more of everything when it came to him; I just wanted more. I didn’t care about whom it hurt or whom it didn’t, I wanted him with me, forever.
I snuggled up closer to him on the blanket. I loved the way that he smelled of leather, horse and the wind. I leaned into him, not wanting to move for hours. He circled his arms around me, no longer fighting the feelings that he had inside. I was ecstatic.
“Do we have to go back?” I asked him.
“It would be the proper thing to do, but we don’t have to leave right this minute. We have some time before we should be heading back. Is there something that you want to do?” he asked me in response.
“I just want to be with you,” I answered.
“I am not going anywhere,” he replied.
“Good,” I told him.
“Rayne…” he started.
“What is it?” I asked him.
I turned and looked at him. He had a strange look in his eyes. I didn’t know what it was, but it was bothering me. It looked painful, passionate, distant, and wanting all at the same time. I didn’t know how to explain it, but it was worrisome. I couldn’t fathom what was upsetting him so, but I knew that it had to be something.
“I have to tell you something important,” he started.
“What is it?” I questioned him, again.
“I don’t want to tell you, now, though. It will wait. Don’t worry. I’ll tell you after a while. Just not right now. Right now, isn’t the right time for it,” he told me.
“If you say so,” I said.
“I do. It’ll wait. I’ll tell you later,” he stated.
“Just don’t look so upset then and I won’t pester you to tell me about it,” I commanded.
“I will do my best to do that for you, Rayne. I love you, always remember that, no matter what. Promise me that you will always remember that,” he said.
“I promise,” I said.
He looked so worried about something, but I wasn’t going to pry, no matter how much I wanted to. I would let him come to me in his own time. I was just so happy that he actually told me that he loved that I didn’t want to push anything else at the moment. I told myself that if it was a dream that I didn’t want to wake up.
We sat there, I in his arms, under that tree for what seemed like hours. We watched the clouds move through the sky and the horses over the prairie. It was so peaceful there in his arms. I loved every minute of it and I didn’t want to leave. I was trying to figure out how we could stay there longer. I just wanted to be with him. I didn’t care what it meant or what it took. I wanted to be with him.
He didn’t stir or make a move to do anything but hold me. I so desperately wanted to kiss him again, like the way that we had that day in the ranch house. I couldn’t think of anything else as I sat there with him. I just sat there and relished in the fact that he said that he loved me and he was holding him in his arms. It was a far cry from us fighting each other about absolutely nothing.
“Are you alright?” he asked me.
“I am wonderful when I am with you. I love the feel of your arms around me. I love you, Reece, with all of my heart,” I told him.
I felt him stiffen around me like he was going to lose me or something. I wished he would tell me what was wrong, but I knew better than to push him. He would run away again and I would be alone. I didn’t want that, so I would let him brood until he was ready to talk to me.
“Do you want to ride and check on the horses?” he asked me, trying to break the silence.
I just wanted to be with him, I didn’t care where it was. I loved him and he loved me that was all mattered. I couldn’t care less what he did as long as he did it with me. It was then that I remembered that he would be leaving as soon as we returned from Amarillo and the round up. I was suddenly at a loss and I didn’t know what to do.
I felt myself begin to stiffen at the thoughts of him leaving. I wasn’t sure that he would return. He promised that he would try, but there was no way of knowing if he would return to me or not. It was a gamble that I would have to take. I couldn’t keep him cooped up with me and not let him find his happiness. If I did that, then I knew that he wouldn’t love me anymore. I would have to let him go and hope that his love would bring him back to me. It was the only thing that I could do, now. I would keep my promise and think of him every day.
I decided that until we left for Amarillo that I would spend as much time with him as I could. I didn’t want him to forget me so easily when he got back to his ranch. I wanted to impregnate my image on his brain and make him think of me every day until he returned to me. I wanted him to want me so bad, that when he got to his ranch all he could think about would be me and getting back to me.
“I’ll help you up,” he said, taking me by the wrist.
He was such a gentleman and sometimes it sickened me. I didn’t want him to be a gentleman; I wanted him to want me with a passion unrestrained. I wanted him to do things to me I had only heard about from other women in town. I wanted him to ravish me and I didn’t care what that made me. I knew that he wouldn’t only because he was a gentleman and I hated that.
“Rayne?” he inquired.
“I’m fine. Let’s go for that ride,” I said, mounting my horse with his help, “It will be a good way for me to see the herds. It has been a while since I have done that.”
“Alright, then,” he stated mounting his horse.
“Which way are we going to go, today?” I asked.
“That is up to you, Miss Rayne. We can ride until it’s time to get back for dinner, if you would like,” he stated.
I would like, I would like very much, I thought. How did he know how to get me started with just a little phrase? It was most unnerving, but I guess that is what it is like to be in love. We were in love with each other, so I let it go.
“Well, would you like to see the horses or the cattle first?” he questioned me.
“Why don’t you just lead that way,” I suggested.
He laughed, slightly, but it was a pleasant sound. His eyes were smiling as well. His whole face lit up with a happiness I could only hope that I could keep there. I would have to try my best.
“Follow me then,” he said, pulling on the reins of Scout and heading away from the crop of trees.
We descended, slowly, into the gulch pasture that the horses stayed in. He would his way
around the herds and the walls of the gulch to the stream that would its way through the pasture. He stopped there to let the horses drink and have their fill. He pointed to a small group of horses in the distance. He told me about them all, how they acted towards each other and how they respected the break ups among the herd. He explained the social status of each horse and why we needed to sell a few of them to protect the herds from themselves.
He led me around the different herds pointing out the stud that was leading them. He showed me the mares that were going to be giving me new horses in the spring time of next year. He knew everything about them. I couldn’t believe how much he loved the horses and how much he took pride in taking care of them properly. I could tell that the herds were thriving with his direction. It was another reason that I didn’t want him to leave.
This was my business, my life and he was making me money. It was a crass and unloving feeling but it was the truth. He had stepped up and was taking the reins of the horses that I owned. I could only think of Silas’ father and how he had been there before Reece was.
It was an unfair comparison and I didn’t like making it. Silas’ father was a good man, good father, and a good horseman, but he wasn’t Reece. I was letting my love blind me and I knew it. I couldn’t compare them equally because they had both been in my life at different times.
I shuttered on the back of Whiskers, thinking about Silas’ father. I didn’t want to remember the pain that his death caused me. I only wanted to deal with the here and now with Reece. I didn’t want to think about the bad things that happened in life. I just wanted to live my way, with whom I wanted and how I wanted.
“Reece, do you like it here?” I asked.
“Yes, ma’am, I do. It is peaceful and beautiful. It also has three things that I care for very, very much,” he said.
“And what would those be?” I inquired, tilting my head to the side.
“They would be horses, Silas, and you, silly. I would have thought that you would have known that. But, I guess I haven’t been that good in showing you how much, I am sorry for that. I truly am,” he stated in response.
“Well, then, you are forgiven, since you care for me so much. Reece, where are we going now? Where are you taking me?” I asked as we head in a different direction.
“I want to take you somewhere. It has nothing to do with the ranch and with the livestock. It is a place that I like to visit. Do you think that you can keep up? Do you think that Whiskers can keep up with Scout?” he asked me.
“I think that she can. She is a fast horse, but why do you ask? Is there a reason that I should be worried about where ever we are going?” I asked him.
“Not if you trust me,” he replied.
It was a test of faith on my part and I already hated it. I could only wonder what he was thinking and why was taking me to this place. He wanted me to trust him, and I did, but I was also worried. I can’t fathom his reasoning behind this sudden change in plans. It wasn’t like him to do something like this, I thought. Did he want me off balance? Because, it was working, very well.
“I do trust you, Reece. I just want to know where I’m going is all. I don’t like not being kept informed,” I stated, knowing that I sounded like a frightened child.
“There is nothing to be worried about. I am not going to let anything happen to you. So, calm down. We will be there soon enough and then you’ll see. That’s all I am asking for, from you right now, just trust me,” he said.
It was easier said than done. I didn’t know why but I felt the need to trust him with more than just my heart. I wanted to trust him with my life. It seemed so easy to do and I wanted it so bad, that I just let it happen. I trusted him completely and without reservations about anything.
“I trust you. I just don’t like not knowing where I’m going. Can you at least tell me that?” I asked him.
“Just keep up and you’ll see,” he replied.
I was stunned. He wasn’t even going to give me a hint. He urged Scout into a gallop and ran off with me following him. I didn’t know if he was leading me to my death or to some place wonderful and at the moment, I really didn’t care. I was blinded by love and I followed without hesitation. I thought to myself that I would later berate myself for such blind faith, but then I remembered that is what love was based on completely.
I followed him, galloping along on Whiskers through the pastures and expanses of prairie that we trod over on our way to a small creek that fell some distance into a pool. The pool was clear and ran into the stream that led into the gulch pastures. I was amazed at such a sight in the middle of Texas. Falls weren’t that common and this was a tiny one if it could even be considered a falls.
“It’s beautiful, Reece. How did you find this? Wow, this is a great place,” I stated.
“I found it one afternoon a couple of weeks ago. I was following the water back to see its source and found the pool and falls that fed the stream. The creek only goes back a few feet and must be fed by an underground spring or lake. It keeps flowing all day and when it rains it gets faster and slightly bigger. You need to see it then, that is when it is remarkable,” he said.
“I can’t believe that I have never seen this before,” I replied, “I mean I have lived on the ranch most of my life and I have never been out here. I think that’s amazing. This is a beautiful place. Thank you for sharing it with me. It means a lot to me.”
He dismounted and came over to me. I didn’t know what he was thinking, but I let him help me down from Whiskers’ back. He held me close as he walked us to the pool. He put a hand in, cupped it, and brought it to my mouth. It was cool and crisp.
“Spring water,” I said.
“Yup, this is a treasure for you. There is only one thing that you have to do about it and that is keep the cattle and horses away from here. Then, you can come drink from it whenever you want. It will remain this way if you do that,” he said.
“Wanna go swimming?” I suggested.
“No, we can’t,” he replied, “It would disturb the water. Pretend this is a holy place. You can drink from the fount but you must never enter it. Once you do, it will never be the same. Promise me that you won’t do that, ever. It would destroy the pool and the water.”
“I promise,” I answered with my eyebrows crossing.
“I don’t mean to sound angry, but you will thank me when you can come here and drink without thought. The streams that the horses and cattle drink from, we can’t use because they use it too. Does that make sense? If anyone ever gets sick, use water from here to bathe them, give it to them, and cook for them with this, it will help heal them. But, don’t ever enter the pool, then the water will lose its magic and it will no longer work,” he explained.
“I understand. But, how do I get it back to the ranch if I can’t enter it? How do I harness such magic from the water?” I asked him.
“With canteens and water bags. They will hold enough for you. Nothing more than your hands should grace the water in that pool. It is a gift from God and you must take care of it,” he told me.
“I love you, Reece. Thank you for showing me this. I will be good and do as you say,” I answered, looking at the sky, “I think we should be heading back now, don’t you?”
“Yes, it is time. Come on, Miss Rayne, I’ll help you up,” he said, giving me a boost back onto Whiskers’ back, “Here are the reins.”
He mounted Scout flawlessly and took up the reins. He pointed in a direction, I wasn’t sure whether it was north, south, east or west, and started to gallop away. I followed him, knowing that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me and he would get me home in the same manner in which we had left. I had nothing to be afraid of when I was with him. He loved me and I loved him that was all that we needed to know, now.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rayne, the Ranch House
We ate in silence. The day’s events were running through my head. I couldn’t believe that we had spent the entirety of the day on horseback r
iding around the pastures. I wasn’t complaining. I was in love.
He sat there staring at me from across the table with the look in his eye. It made me wonder what he was thinking and if it was about me. He smiled, that heartbreaking smile that he had, at me and I returned the favor. He was looking even more rugged and worn than usual. I guess it had to do with the fact that the he hadn’t been in town to see the barber and his hair was growing longer. He was starting to look like a cowboy that rode long and hard and didn’t care what anyone else thought about him.
“Think we should be leaving next week for the round up,” I said and then asked him, “Are you ready?”
“I guess so,” he replied, simply.
“Well I hope that you are, because it is going to be a difficult ride there and back. Jed will push us all to the brink. I hope that you’re ready for such an adventure,” I told him.
“I’ve been looking forward to it, actually. I miss riding the trails like that. It’s one of the reasons that I became a rancher and a horseman. I love to ride. I love to feel the wind rushing past me. It makes me feel free and alive,” he explained.
“Well that’s good, because it won’t be a real democracy on the way. Jed is a hard foreman and he will push and push. But, then, I am sure that you are used to that. How many rides have you been on?” I asked.
“In my time, a good number, but they weren’t this extensive. We only had to drive the stock into town. They weren’t that exciting. I would just help drive it to the round ups in Amarillo and then back to the ranch,” he told me.
“Sounds like more fun than sitting here waiting for the hands to come home,” I stated, matter-of-factly.
“I guess so, but not much more,” he stated, “Dinner was good. I’ll have to thank Cookie for that later. Well, I’m beat. I’m going up to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.”
He got up and cleared the dishes from the table. I knew that Cookie would be in later to get them from the small chamber, I call my kitchen. I watched Reece leave the room and head for the stairs to his room. I wished that he wouldn’t go, but we had a long day and I knew he was tired because I was tired as well. I wondered if I shouldn’t be going to bed soon myself. It didn’t seem that important at the time and I decided to sit in the living room with the lamps and read some.
