Memories of a Highlander

by Susan Bella Ikin

  “Donald, I’m sorry man, but ye have to come to Da’s solar. One of the riders has just returned, and ye need to hear what he has to say”.

  The mood was now broken for me, and I saw Eleanor looking at me quizzically. I spoke over my shoulder to the door.

  “Just a minute, have pity man”.

  I thought I heard a chuckle on the other side of the door, but couldn’t be sure and didn’t really care. The timing was awful, but it could have been worse. Five minutes later and I would have had Eleanor in my arms, preparing her for our first joining. It was better that we had been interrupted before getting that far, it would have been unfair on both of us to have left it at that point. I stepped towards Eleanor.

  “I will be back as quickly as I can. Climb into bed and wait for me. If ye fall asleep, I will wake ye up”. I stepped forward and kissed her gently before turning and leaving the room.

  Once the rider delivered his news, I knew that I would not be joining my wife in bed that night. He had found someone who knew Lachlan, and knew him to be an evil man who used and hurt women as he pleased. His family was powerful enough that he could pick powerless victims. If they spoke out against him, he would accuse the women of looseness, adamant that they were slatterns who bestowed their pleasures on many men, and as he usually chose women who did not have anyone powerful enough to stand against Lachlan’s family, he had been able to abuse a few women without being held to account. Why he had chosen Eleanor to be his next victim was anyone’s guess. She came from a powerful enough family, but perhaps it was because he had convinced her father of his good intentions and that, coupled with the fact that Eleanor was headstrong, he thought he could get away with abusing her without reprisal. Or maybe in his twisted way, he did want to marry her, and thought that if he compromised her first, she would not chase him off as she had chased off everyone before him. It didn’t really matter, he was the worst kind of man, one who abused his superior strength and power to injure those who could not fight against him. Worse still for our piece of mind, he had been spotted on the borders of our lands. I feared for Eleanor, and I know that Liam did not want anyone such as him near Mary either. Even though he appeared to have his sights set on Eleanor, an evil man such as himself would not care who he harmed.

  The rider had found someone who had told him that Lachlan had been skulking near a village to the east of the keep only the day before, so we determined to go in search of him at first light. The planning session for our expedition took until late in the night to finish, and by the time I returned to my chamber, Eleanor was long asleep. Even though I had said I would wake her, she looked so peaceful that I could not. The covers had slipped off her shoulders and almost to her waist, and in the flickering light of my candle, I could see her small but perfect breasts exposed. I nearly groaned in frustration as I realised the significance of her getting into bed naked. She had obviously been willing to further our explorations of each other’s bodies. I toyed with the idea of climbing into bed with her for the rest of the evening, but I wanted our first time to be unhurried, not rushed as it would be if I joined her now. I wrote a brief note, pausing to consider if Eleanor could even read. I knew that Mary could though, so I did not put anything personal in the note, nothing that she would be embarrassed for Mary to read to her, and resolved to find out more about Eleanor when I returned.

  In the grey light of pre-dawn, I rode out with Da, Liam, and several of our most cunning trackers and fearsome warriors. We left many more behind to protect the women and the elderly of the keep and the surrounding village. Ian wanted to come with us, but even though his skills with a blade had improved vastly over the last year, he was still noisy when tracking, and we might require silence. Liam asked him as a special favour to keep Mary, little Robert, and Eleanor safe, and he pledged to do so. I grimly smiled at Liam as we turned to leave.

  “It’s a pity that D’arcy could not have taught Ian a thing or two before he left”.

  Ian looked at me sharply.

  “What do ye mean by that?”

  “Well, ye know that the man is a master swordsman. He could have taught Ian a lot. Us too when it comes to that. I could not best him in a fight, and neither could ye. Anyway, it is of no matter He is gone. I wonder how he is going in the Holy Lands? I hope he survives – I liked him”.

  “Aye, I did too. I would be happy for him to meet little Robert as well. I know Mary still misses him, and I do as well. He is an uncommon man and a brave one as well”.

  I looked at Liam as he spoke. He seemed a bit unsure of himself, which was not like him.

  I shrugged my shoulders, it wasn’t the most important thing to think on this morning. Hopefully today I would come face to face with Lachlan again, and this time he would not walk away.

  Eleanor

  I woke up in the morning, naked, cold and shivering. I looked around me, confused and a little angry. Where was Donald? I had thought for a long time before I made my decision last night, and I had decided that we had waited long enough. Donald had shown me enough to let me know that as well as being a good, gentle, honourable man, he was also a man who knew how to wring every last bit of pleasure from a woman’s body. He had been patient enough with me, and I had spent enough time thinking through the events of a few days ago to have decided that one bad experience should not stop me moving on with my life, and experiencing all the joys that were open to me. Lachlan had given me a fright, and had caused me a few bruises, but he had not succeeded with his vile idea, and I had been so worried about the powerlessness I had felt during our encounter that I had unwittingly given him even more power than he actually had. I had allowed him to take over my life, to make me afraid that every man was as awful as he was, when I knew that wasn’t true. Donald was the best example of everything that was good and kind that I had encountered, and I could easily see why he had grown to such a good man. His father was a good laird, he ruled with a strong but fair hand, and listened to the gentle wisdom of his wife. Their influence was clear not only in Donald, but also in Liam, and Ian, and I was sure as Stewart grew he would appreciate the example set by his father and older brothers and would emulate them as well.

  So I had decided that it was time to take back the power that I had allowed Lachlan to take from me, and to enjoy the life that I found myself lucky to be living. Whatever attraction there had been when Donald and I first met was still strong, and despite the animosity between our families, we had managed to end up married. I had been welcomed into his family, even if mine had shunned me, and Mary and I were becoming sisters and friends. My husband had indicated that he would welcome any children that were born into our union, and my mind was torn between thoughts of how we would make those children, to images of Donald’s big, strong hands holding a little baby. I was sure that I must have fallen asleep with a smile on my face, yet Donald had not even been to bed – his pillow was still unmussed. I got up to dress, seeing a bit of parchment with some handwriting on it. My heart sank. I could not read. I picked up the parchment however, knowing that Donald had written a message on it for me, and held it to my lips. Parchment was very expensive, and it meant a lot to me that Donald had used some for me, when he could have just left a verbal message with someone. I hoped that it wasn’t too intimate, as I needed to find someone to read it to me. My first thought was Mary. I didn’t know anything about the customs of the English, but maybe they taught girls to read. I knew that some local families did, but not mine. Even my brothers were barely able to read, and their writing was barely legible, according to the few tutors who had worked for us.

  I knocked softly at Mary’s door, hoping that I was not disturbing her and Liam, and blushing at the thought that they might be enjoying the sort of morning I had been looking forward to. Mary’s voice bid me enter, and I tried the handle of the door. The bolt was not engaged, so the door opened. Mary was just settling Robert down.

  “Is Liam around?” I asked, peering around the room, ready to shut my eyes if Liam was th
ere. Mary smiled at me.

  “No, I thought you knew. They left at first light. I sleep light since Robert was born, so I woke up when Liam tried to sneak out of bed. He wouldn’t say where they were going, he just told me they had news of someone making trouble in one of the outlying villages so were going out to investigate. He said we should stay close to the keep until they get back, but if we must leave, we have to take Ian with us. What have you got there?”

  “Something is written on this parchment. I think Donald wrote it to me. Could ye read it please?”

  Mary moved towards me, her eyes sympathetic as she reached for the parchment.

  “Are you sure you want me to read this? It might have something personal on it. Do you want me to teach you to read?”

  I decided that I wanted to read very much. Donald could read and write, and I assumed he would teach our children to do the same, and I didn’t want to shame them by not being able to read something if they wrote it. I nodded, then took a seat when Mary moved towards the window for better light to read by.

  “Dearest Eleanor,

  I would stay with you tonight if I could, but there is something I must take care of. Please don’t go far from the keep and never go anywhere alone until I get back. Stay near Mary, and Ian will keep the both of you safe until Liam and I return. We hope to only be gone for a few days, and I will explain all to you on my return.

  Stay safe my love,

  Donald”.

  Mary passed the note to me and I clutched it to my heart. Donald had probably not known if I would have to get someone else to read this to me, so he hadn’t said anything that would embarrass either of us but his love for me shone through. I nodded my thanks at Mary and went back to my chamber, lying on the bed and clutching the parchment to my chest, every now and then raising it to my lips and kissing it. He loved me. I was sure of that. Which was the most wonderful news ever, because I loved him too. I dozed off, seeing images of Donald as he had appeared to me, both over the last few days, and before. With the clear eyes of hindsight, I saw the events of a year ago afresh. I saw his distress when he hurt me in the stables, and I saw him look at me when I appeared at dinner on that first night. He had wanted me even then, but he knew that it could not be. That was why he had stayed up all night, drinking in the hall. He had stayed away from the sleeping chambers, not trusting himself enough to be near me. It made sense now that Liam had been sent to return me to my home, as it would not have been a good idea for Donald and I to be on the road together, and could he have left me at my home and walked away? I also thought over my own behaviour of the past year, and the reason I had been so frustrated at being confined by my family. The restlessness I had always felt at being shut in had been intensified by my seeing a glimpse of what else was beyond my family’s keep. My dreams of learning the pleasures of the flesh had been intensified by images of learning them at the hands of a red-haired giant of a man, who could be both brutal and tender, but would always be gentle to me.

  I moped around the keep for a day and a half before Patrice finally put me to work cleaning out the root stores, sorting through for spoiled onions and separating them from the good ones. Tired and dirty, I had a bath that night and went to bed, deciding that the next day I needed to get out and clear my head. It could not be long until Donald returned, and I didn’t want him to return to a grumpy wife.

  The next day dawned clear and bright, a perfect midsummer day, and I managed to talk Mary and Ian into going for a ride. Mary was reluctant to leave Robert, but she had so little time to herself that Patrice joined my argument, and got Mary to agree to go out for a short ride, which secretly relieved Ian. Mary said she would feed Robert, then we could go out for some brief exercise to give the horses a small run, so long as we stayed close to the keep so she would not be far away when it was time to return to feed Robert again. Ian made the mistake of asking how she would know when it was time, to which Mary cheekily responded that her breasts tingled when they were again full of milk, and Ian blushed furiously and stalked away, causing Mary to laughingly chase him, apologising for her forthrightness. After Mary managed to appease Ian, she returned inside and Ian and I saw to the horses, rubbing them down and waiting outside with them when Mary reappeared.

  “Oh, it is such a beautiful day today, I’m glad you talked me into this. I think Patrice is happy to have time with her grandson too. She was making faces at him when I left. The boy will be spoiled rotten soon I think”.

  We rode out of the keep, telling the gate guards which way we intended to go, and how long we planned to be. I noticed that Ian carried his sword strapped to his back, as well as a dagger in his boot, and meant to ask why he was being so cautious, but soon forgot when Midnight got the scent of fresh grass and we ran ahead again. I remembered what Donald had said, and held Midnight back so that I didn’t get too far from Ian and Mary, and looped around to go back to them, running Midnight backwards and forwards so that he could show everyone what a beautiful and clever horse he was. Ian smiled at me, his happiness at my obvious enjoyment evident, and I thought all was right with the world on this beautiful sunny day. We stopped briefly in a clearing for some food, Mary insisted she had to eat a small amount often to ensure a good supply of food for Robert. Ian grouched at this and stomped off into the bushes, leaving Mary and I giggling at our wickedness in teasing the poor young man.

  We could still see the keep from where we sat, and we saw a small group of men making their way to the gates, where there was a substantial pause, then the gates were opened to admit the men. I turned to Mary.

  “That wasn’t them, was it? They would have just ridden up and the gate would have opened straight away, wouldn’t it?”

  “I couldn’t see from this distance, Eleanor. Maybe we should get back, just to see what is going on”. She called for Ian over her shoulder, and Ian appeared, listening to our explanations. We mounted up and moved forward, Ian insisting that we move slowly to observe the guards on the gates. If anything appeared wrong, he wanted us to turn and ride away. We had just passed another group of trees, when all of a sudden a rider burst out of the trees and rode straight towards me. I screamed as I recognised Lachlan, and turned Midnight to give him his head. Midnight was a good horse, and normally the fastest I had ever known, but he had already ridden hard today and was tired. I heard shouting behind me and turned quickly to glance over my shoulder. Lachlan was gaining on me, and behind him I could see Ian chasing us, with Mary riding toward the keep. I leaned down low on Midnight’s neck, whispering to him, and let him run. Midnight was not only a fast horse, but a cunning one, and he knew that I was afraid and that I was afraid of what was chasing us. Each time Lachlan drew near and reached for the reins, Midnight would feint to the other side, and run in a zig zag pattern. I had trained him to do this, knowing that running in a more chaotic fashion than just a straight line would confuse a pursuer, and also throw off the aim of any archers that might have followed. Even though Midnight had not been trained for war, he had been trained for some tasks. But even my wonderful horse could not run for ever, and Lachlan’s horse was obviously fresher. With a final lunge, he grabbed the reins and then gripped my arm hard and tried to drag me from my saddle onto his horse. I don’t know how much of Donald’s brief training I remembered, and how much was pure panic, and anger, but I managed to throw off Lachlan’s balance, and he toppled from his horse. Unfortunately for me, he didn’t loosen his grip on my arm, and he dragged me down with him. Midnight was well trained enough to avoid us as we fell, but a hoof of Lachlan’s horse caught me in the side and sliced through my clothing, cutting my skin, but at least it did not land on me and crush me. As a result of the sharp pain, I fell, and Lachlan stood over me, laughing. Behind him, I saw Ian only a short distance away. His horse was tired too, but he had ridden it hard and was not far from us. All I had to do was stall.

  I kicked out at Lachlan’s knee, causing him to grunt and stagger. I launched myself at him, aiming a punch for his groin, and
managing to connect once before he grabbed my hair and pulled me upright, making me grip my braid so that it wasn’t pulled out from my skull. He tried to kiss me but I twisted my head sideways, and flung an elbow into his ribs. That earned me a punch to the stomach. As he bent down to laugh at me again, I came up fighting, trying to gouge his eyes, but I was winded and not fast enough. Lachlan grabbed my wrist, twisting it to the point where I thought it was going to break and forcing my arm up behind my back so high that I had to bend over a little to stop the shoulder being wrenched out. Just then I heard Ian’s horse thunder up, and Ian jumped off without slowing. I heard his sword scrape from his scabbard.

  “Let go of her or I will kill ye where ye stand”, he shouted, all traces of the boy gone from his voice.

  As quick as lightning, a blade appeared in Lachlan’s hand and he pushed it to my throat. I tried to move my neck backwards, out of reach of the blade, but my shoulder screamed in protest and I cried out. Lachlan sneered.

  “She will die first, then ye, ye little whelp. Or maybe I will kill ye first so I can have my pleasure of her, and leave her body here for that fool to find. Who does she think she is, to refuse me? And who does he think he is, that he can stop me from taking what is mine?”

  “He is her husband, my brother, Donald McGarrow, and he is a better man than ye will ever be. I won’t warn ye again, let her go. If ye let her go now, I will give ye a head start while I take her back to the keep. Then I will start hunting ye. Ye have a fighting chance to escape. If ye don’t let her go now, ye will never get that chance”.