Only Mine

by Susan Mallery

  He started to turn away, but she grabbed the front of his shirt and held him in place.

  “You’re right,” she said. “No one asked you if you wanted to take on that responsibility. You did it because they’re your family and it was the right thing to do. You understood that. Just like you know, deep in your heart, that you don’t want Stephen in the business if he doesn’t want to be there.”

  Finn stared at her for a long time, then opened his arms. She stepped into his embrace and hung on as if she would never let go.

  “He should have told me,” he whispered. “He should have told me himself. I would have understood.”

  She doubted Finn would have made the conversation very easy. Even so, his point was a good one. This was not how he should have found out.

  She could argue that Stephen was still a boy, although that wouldn’t help her case of Finn letting them grow and live their lives. Besides, she understood his pain, even if she couldn’t feel it herself. He had given up so much, and now he felt betrayed.

  Families were hard. They were great, but they were hard. Or maybe it was just loving someone that made things complicated.

  As she held on to him, she realized that her mother had been right. Falling in love with Finn would be easy. Too easy. She was going to have to be very, very careful.

  DAKOTA AND HER SISTERS lay sprawled on several blankets in the backyard. Hannah sat between them, laughing at their various antics. The sun was warm, the sky was blue, and Buddy, one of Montana’s rescue dogs, a pale cream labradoodle, monitored them anxiously.

  “I can’t believe you’re really a mother,” Nevada said. “It happened so fast. Last month you were single and now you have a kid.”

  “Tell me about it,” Dakota said, rolling on her side and facing her daughter. “Obviously I’ve been thinking about adopting ever since I found out how difficult it would be for me to have children. But that was a theory. This is real.” She grinned. “Of course, I’m still single.”

  Hannah reached for her pink elephant. It was slightly out of reach, and she tumbled to her side as she stretched. Montana scooped her up and held her in the air. The baby laughed while Buddy whined nervously.

  “It’s okay,” Montana told the dog. “She’s fine.”

  Montana put the little girl back on the blanket. Buddy crawled toward her. When he was next to her, he angled his body to provide support and maybe protection.

  “He’s really good with her,” she said.

  Montana nodded. “He does great with little kids. Although he’s a bit of a worrier. He gets crazy when they fall. But he’s so patient. He doesn’t mind if little kids crawl all over him and pull his fur and tail. Some of it is the training, but most of it is his personality. He’s a nanny dog.” She leaned over and rubbed Buddy’s head. “Aren’t you, big boy?”

  The dog kept his attention on the baby. He whined a little, as if concerned they weren’t paying enough attention to what was going on.

  “I want a baby,” Nevada murmured. “At least I think I do, but not like this.”

  “You wouldn’t consider adopting?” Dakota asked, a little surprised by her sister’s reaction.

  “Sure I would, but not so quickly. Yes, this was a deliberate act, but you had to make the final decision quickly. Didn’t that scare you?”

  “It terrified me, but that’s part of the process. I suppose if I’d been picked by a woman who was pregnant, I would have had more time to get used to what was going to happen.” She touched her daughter’s soft, dark hair. “Except I wouldn’t change any of this.”

  “You’re braver than me,” Montana admitted. “The dogs are about all I can handle. Besides, I don’t think I’d be a very good mother.”

  “Why not?” Dakota thought her sister would be great. “You’re caring and nurturing. You give everything you have. Look at how you are with the dogs.”

  “That’s different.”

  “I don’t think it is,” Nevada said. “You’re not as flaky as you think.”

  Hannah dropped her elephant again, then reached to pick it up. Buddy nudged it toward her, as if wanting to make sure she was careful.

  “How is Finn taking all this?” Montana asked in a not-so-subtle attempt to change the subject. “He flew you to Los Angeles to pick her up. That was nice.”

  He’d done plenty of other nice things, she thought. And they weren’t all about transportation.

  “He’s a good guy. The baby thing doesn’t freak him out. His brothers are a lot younger and that helps. He remembers the baby stage.”

  He was also careful not to get too involved, she reminded herself. That kept stress at a minimum for him.

  As she watched her daughter laugh, she wondered what it would be like if Finn weren’t the kind of man who planned to walk away. Having him want to settle down would be pretty amazing. Especially if he wanted to do that settling with her.

  “Dakota?”

  She looked up and saw her sisters staring at her.

  “You okay?” Nevada asked.

  “Fine. Just daydreaming.”

  “About a certain handsome pilot?” Montana asked with a grin. “He looks like he’s a great kisser.”

  “He is, but we’re just friends. Anything else would be foolish.”

  “On his part or yours?”

  “You know why he’s here,” Dakota reminded them. “When he figures out his brothers are doing fine on their own, he’ll leave. After all, he has everything he needs in Alaska.”

  “You’re not there,” Montana said loyally. “Or Hannah. Plus he has to like the town. Who wouldn’t want to live in Fool’s Gold?”

  “I’m sure there are hundreds of people,” Nevada murmured.

  Dakota decided she was tired of talking about herself. “Anyone know if Mom’s been on a date?”

  “No,” Nevada said. “There are a couple of guys I know—contractors who are really nice. They’re about her age. I suppose if I were a better daughter, I would offer to set her up. Only I can’t seem to do it.”

  “Do you think it’s a bad thing?” Montana asked, frowning slightly.

  “No. I want her to be happy and it’s been over ten years since Dad died, so I’m not thinking it’s too soon.”

  “Then what?” Dakota prompted.

  Nevada grinned. “I think I’m afraid she’ll find someone in thirty seconds. That would be so depressing. I can’t remember the last time I was on a date.”

  “Tell me about it,” Montana said with a sigh.

  “What about those contractors?” Dakota asked. “Any of them young enough to be interesting?”

  “I work with them. It’s not good to date someone you work with.”

  “Why not?” Montana asked. “If you work with them, then you get the chance to see them in all kinds of circumstances. You’ll know a lot about their character. Isn’t that a good thing?”

  Nevada shrugged and turned to Dakota. “I suppose you’re not interested in dating.”

  “I have a new baby.”

  “And a man.” Montana flung herself on Buddy. “Admit it. The sex is pretty fabulous.”

  Dakota didn’t hide her grin. “It’s even better than you could imagine.”

  FINN DID HIS BEST to avoid his brother. There was nothing Stephen could say that he wanted to hear. But two days after the broadcast, his brother cornered him out at the airport. He looked up from loading boxes into the plane and found Stephen standing there.

  “I’m busy,” Finn said brusquely.

  “You have to talk to me sometime.”

  “I haven’t seen you in a week. Don’t make it sound like you’ve been dogging my heels for days.”

  “You know what I mean,” his brother said, glaring at him. “You’re pissed.”

  Finn put the box in place, then straightened. “Because you went on national television and told the world I was a jerk? Why would I be pissed?”

  “I didn’t say that. I said…” Stephen shook his head. “Forget it,” he said
, turning away. “It doesn’t matter. You’re not going to listen. I don’t know why I bother trying.”

  Stephen started to walk away. Finn’s instinct was to let him go. The kid was acting like a spoiled brat. He’d made one attempt to get his point across, and when that didn’t work, he gave up. So much for Dakota’s theory that his brothers were ready to be on their own.

  Except he was supposed to be the mature one in the relationship.

  “All you had to do was tell me,” he said.

  Stephen came to a stop but didn’t turn around. “You wouldn’t have listened. You would have told me to get my ass back to college and to plan on being in the family business. You always knew Sasha wasn’t interested, and that left me.”

  Finn felt frustration building, but he did his best to ignore it. Communication, he reminded himself. That was the point of a conversation. Not to yell. Not to win.

  “I wouldn’t want you to do something that made you unhappy,” he said. “I thought you were studying engineering because it was interesting, not because you wanted to be an engineer.”

  His brother faced him. “I took an introductory class my freshman year and got hooked.”

  Stephen shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. “Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t want to be you. I like flying. It’s fun and it gets me places, but it’s not my life. Not wanting to be part of the business doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate what you’ve done. You gave up a lot when Mom and Dad died. You were there for us. I’m only a couple of years younger than you were when it happened and I can’t imagine doing what you did.”

  Finn shifted uncomfortably. “You don’t have a couple of kid brothers depending on you. That changes things.”

  “You took care of us,” Stephen said earnestly. “I really appreciate that. We both do.” He gave him a halfhearted smile. “Me more than Sasha.”

  Finn found himself relaxing his shoulders. “Dad wanted the business to stay in the family. Bill’s always on me about selling and I didn’t want to, because of you two.”

  “I thought you loved flying. I thought the business was everything.”

  “I do love flying, but carrying cargo back and forth isn’t my idea of a good time. I want to start a charter company and take people places. Maybe teach flying to kids.” Finn drew in a breath. “Sometimes I’ve thought about going somewhere else. Starting over. The world doesn’t begin and end in South Salmon.”

  “I didn’t know you realized that.”

  “I have my days.”

  Stephen’s humor faded. “I’m sorry about what happened on the show. We didn’t know the cameras were there. We were just talking.”

  “I kind of figured that out,” Finn admitted. “I just wish you’d come to me before and told me. It might have changed things.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry.”

  Words he didn’t hear very often, Finn thought. Good words. “I’m sorry, too. I didn’t mean to push you into something you didn’t want to do.”

  “Thanks. I guess it worked. I’m going back to college.”

  Finn stared at him. “Since when?”

  “That’s how the conversation with Aurelia started.” Stephen looked confused. “I said I was going back to college and then we were discussing engineering.”

  “Okay. I remember that.”

  “Let me guess,” his brother said, rolling his eyes. “You heard the part about me not wanting to go into the family business and got mad. Did you hear anything else?”

  Finn shook his head. “Apparently not. I guess I should’ve listened harder.”

  Stephen looked uncomfortable again. “About Aurelia,” he began.

  “I’m really grateful to her,” Finn told him. “I don’t know how she got you interested in school again, but I’m glad she did.”

  “It’s more… You’re right,” his brother said. “She, ah, has really been talking to me about the importance of an education.”

  There was something else. Finn could tell Stephen was either hiding something or trying to distract him. What he didn’t know was what the something was.

  He thought about pushing, then decided to let it go. Dakota was right. His brothers were grown-ups. They could handle their own lives. At least Stephen was going back to college. Finn knew Sasha was headed for Los Angeles or maybe New York. But Stephen would complete what he’d started, and that was a win.

  WHAT HAD BEGUN as a quiet lunch with her sisters had somehow grown into a chickfest. It seemed that nearly every woman Dakota knew in town had come into the Fox and Hound that day for lunch. Tables had been pushed together in the center of the restaurant. The tourists sat in booths, watching the loud group.

  Dakota sat at one of the square tables. She and Hannah were the center of attention. Actually, it was mostly Hannah. The baby was passed from arm to arm. She was cuddled and cooed at and rocked and held.

  “At least you’re not dealing with baby weight,” Pia said. As she spoke, Pia shifted in her chair. She was about six or seven months pregnant, with twins. Just looking at her made Dakota uncomfortable.

  “How do you sleep?” Dakota asked.

  “Restlessly. If I can get comfortable I sleep really well. The problem is getting comfortable. That and wanting to eat Cincinnati. I’m hungry all the time. What is it about being pregnant and wanting food? Sure, I’m eating for three, but two of them weigh less than five pounds. You’d think I was giving birth to linebackers.”

  “It will be worth it,” Mayor Marsha told her.

  “I’m excited about the babies,” Pia said. “It’s the baby weight that has me nervous. I’ve been doing some reading. I think if I breast-feed, that helps.”

  “Breast-feeding twins is going to be a challenge,” one of the women said with a laugh. “But it will help you lose the weight. Plus it’s better for the babies. Something about the immune system and bonding. Everybody gets to bond.”

  “Raoul is already bonded,” Pia muttered. “I wish he could breast-feed.”

  Dakota grinned at the thought of the former football player nursing a child. “He can be supportive in other ways.”

  “He’s certainly trying,” Pia admitted. “He loves these babies and they’re not even born yet.”

  “And you love him,” Nevada told her from across the table.

  Pia smiled slowly. “I do. He’s pretty amazing. I got so lucky when he fell in love with me. Of course, I tell him he got lucky when I fell in love with him. I think it helps to keep him humble. I just know it would be so hard to be doing this alone.”

  “Twins are a challenge,” the mayor said. “Still, you would have had all of us. Just like Dakota does.”

  Dakota nodded. “I definitely don’t feel alone in this.” Which was true. While it would be nice to have a man around—a partner to be there and pick up the slack—she knew she could always ask for help and it would be there.

  Although she had to admit to a twinge of envy when Pia talked about Raoul. Her friend’s eyes lit up, and her mouth curved into a special smile. Her mother looked the same way when she talked about her late husband. Being in love did wonderful things to a woman, Dakota thought wistfully.

  She’d always told herself that she would find that special someone eventually. Now she was less sure. Hannah was wonderful, and she was so grateful to have her, but being a single mother would make the whole “falling in love” thing more complicated.

  Had she been holding her baby, she would have whispered that she was more than worth it. As it was, Hannah was on the opposite side of the table with Gladys, one of the older ladies in town.

  “So, does breast-feeding keep you from getting pregnant?” Pia asked.

  “I think so,” Denise said, then tilted her head. “Or is it not breast-feeding? It’s been too long for me and tragically, I’m not having sex with anyone.”

  “Tell me about it,” Gladys said, reluctantly passing Hannah to Alice Barns, the police chief. “Sure there are more men than there were, but they’
re all too young. How about shipping in a few older guys?” She grinned. “But not too old.”

  Everyone laughed.

  “I know you don’t get your period for a while after you’re pregnant,” Denise said. “I remember that much. But I think you can get pregnant before it starts. It seems to me that at least one of my boys was the result of that lack of information.” She chuckled. “Not that I’m complaining.”

  “About the boy or the sex?” Gladys asked.

  “Both.”

  Dakota leaned back in her chair and enjoyed being with the women she loved. This town was special. Whatever happened, there was support and understanding. Look at her situation. Everyone was there for her as she adopted Hannah. If she’d chosen to become a single mother the old-fashioned way, they would have been there for that, too.

  Not that it was likely, she reminded herself. One in a hundred. It might as well be one in a million. If she ever did get pregnant, she should go buy a lotto ticket. There was absolutely no way—

  Dakota sucked in a breath. Everything inside of her went still as she realized she hadn’t had her period in a while. Certainly not since she’d gotten Hannah and even some time before that.

  Thoughts swirled as she tried to figure out what was going on. The obvious answer was that she was pregnant—except she couldn’t be. Her doctor had been very clear on that. She could still hear Dr. Galloway delivering the harsh news.

  “It’s very unlikely you’ll ever conceive through intercourse. I won’t say it’s impossible, but statistically the reality is it’s not going to happen.”

  She placed her hand on her belly and wondered what on earth was going to happen if the doctor was wrong.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  “I DON’T UNDERSTAND,” Dakota murmured, despite having said the same thing about six times already. “I can’t be pregnant. I can’t. It’s supposed to be impossible.”

  Dr. Galloway, an older woman with a sensible haircut and a kind smile, patted her leg as she removed Dakota’s feet from the stirrups and helped her sit up.