Only Mine

by Susan Mallery

  “Impressive.”

  “I want you to know that we take care of our own. If you choose to stay here, then you would become one of us, and we would take care of you, too.”

  “I don’t need a lot of taking care of.”

  “I’m sure that’s true. I’m just letting you know how it would be. But from what my daughter tells me, you’re not thinking about staying.”

  He glanced at her, wondering what was coming next. As he wasn’t sure what Denise thought of him, he couldn’t guess her preference. Did she want him to stick around? Or would she prefer he left sooner rather than later?

  “I’m not looking to add more responsibility to my life,” he admitted. She might not like the truth, but he wasn’t going to lie to make her happy. “Dakota is great, though. I like her a lot.”

  “But not enough to stay.” Denise wasn’t asking a question. “You don’t have to worry. If you wanted to stay, that would be great. But if you don’t, she’ll be fine.”

  She was giving him permission to walk away. There wouldn’t be any guilt or games. In a way, it was the perfect situation. So why didn’t he feel better about it?

  They had reached his motel room. Finn felt funny about inviting her in but wasn’t comfortable standing in front of the door. Denise solved the problem by handing him back his second bag.

  “I hope you find what you’re looking for,” she told him.

  “What makes you think I’m looking for anything?”

  “Because you don’t seem very happy.” She tempered her observation with a gentle smile.

  With that, she turned and left. Finn watched her go, then let himself into his small room and shut the door. He put away the groceries, filling the tiny refrigerator. Then he paced restlessly in the room.

  He wanted to go after Denise and tell her that she was wrong. Of course he was happy. He’d spent the past eight years raising his brothers, and his job was finally done. He could go home, knowing they would be okay in the world. Why the hell wouldn’t he be happy?

  He flung himself on the bed and stared at the ceiling. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t happy. He hadn’t been for a long time. He wanted to blame his brothers but knew it was more than that. It was him.

  A next step seemed logical, he thought. If only he knew what it was.

  His cell phone rang, saving him from the pain of introspection.

  “It’s Geoff,” a familiar voice said when he answered. “You’ll want to watch the show tonight. I think it will make you happy.”

  “Not if Sasha plays with fire again,” he grumbled.

  “It’s better than fire,” Geoff promised him. “Make sure you watch.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  ALTHOUGH DAKOTA HAD SEEN most of the episodes of True Love or Fool’s Gold with Finn, tonight was different. While he was comfortably sprawled on the sofa, with Hannah on his chest, Dakota found herself restless and uneasy. No doubt it was the secret she was keeping. Being pregnant had a way of changing a woman’s perspective. She was thrilled about the thought of having a baby. Two months ago she’d thought she might never have a family, and now she had a beautiful baby girl and another child on the way. What was that old phrase? An embarrassment of riches?

  But there was always another side to any situation. In this case, it was telling Finn that he was the father of her child. Something she knew he didn’t want.

  “Have I mentioned Geoff isn’t one of my favorite people?” Finn asked. “He specifically told me to watch tonight’s episode and so far it hasn’t been very interesting. Or maybe that’s just me.” He glanced at her. “Am I the wrong demographic?”

  It took Dakota a second to realize what he was talking about. “I’ve heard the ratings aren’t very good. Karen, one of the production assistants, told me that Geoff was really sweating the numbers. I think it’s the show’s premise. I’m a big fan of reality television, but this concept doesn’t make sense to me. We all want to see people falling in love, but this feels fake.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “I don’t want to watch people falling in love.”

  She smiled. “Okay, okay. It’s a girl thing. A while ago on Biggest Loser two of the contestants fell in love. It was just the best. My sisters and I couldn’t stop calling each other about it.”

  “But you don’t know them. Why does it matter if they get involved?”

  “It just does. It’s fun to watch people fall in love. Which should make the show more interesting. I guess that’s the problem. No one is falling in love.”

  She glanced back at the screen and saw Sasha and Lani. “Here they are,” she said.

  Finn turned his attention to the television. Dakota found herself watching him rather than the show. He was a good man. Kind and responsible. He was also pretty fabulous in bed, but that shouldn’t matter. She smiled. Even though it sort of did.

  He turned up the volume on the remote with one hand while keeping the other on Hannah’s back. The baby was sleeping on his chest, her head on his shoulder, her nose pressing against his neck. It was the kind of image that turned even the most sensible of women’s hearts to mush. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to resist.

  “This is interesting,” Finn said.

  Dakota glanced at the screen. Sasha and Lani were in the park. Sasha sat on a bench while Lani sat on the grass in front of him. They were in deep conversation.

  “You’re such a baby,” Lani said. “Why aren’t you visualizing every day? It’s the best way to get what you want. Sure, you have to do the work, but this allows you to be in the right place at the right time. When you visualize and practice, you prepare yourself for success. I’ve been visualizing myself winning an Oscar since I was fourteen years old.”

  She stood and walked over to the bench, then sat next to Sasha. “I don’t know anyone in the business,” she told him. “I don’t have a lot of experience or friends I can ask. I’m doing this all on my own. This is how I make it real. This is how I get through the day. If you want it, Sasha, you have to believe in yourself. Most of the time no one else will believe in you.” She sighed. “I imagined myself on a reality show. I should have been more specific. I can’t get anyone to tell me ratings numbers. Have you heard anything?”

  Dakota blinked. She didn’t know a whole lot about the entertainment business, but she was pretty sure contestants on a show weren’t supposed to talk about ratings.

  “What are you talking about?” Sasha asked.

  She groaned. “How is the show doing? Are the advertisers happy with the number of viewers? That kind of information is important. We want the show to be successful.”

  “What does it matter if it isn’t? We’ll be gone.”

  “It’s important because if we’re going to put it on a resume, somebody has to have heard about it. There’s no point in claiming stardom on a show no one saw.” She stared at him. “You make me crazy, and not in a good way.”

  “Part of my charm,” he told her and grinned.

  “You are not all that.” She looked past him. “For all we know, one of the camera guys has followed us. We should probably make out for a little bit, just in case.”

  As Dakota watched, they went into each other’s arms with practiced ease. But little or no romance. It was painfully obvious that they were simply going through the motions to get more show time.

  She winced. “Geoff made a huge mistake in showing that. I’m sure he’s going to think it will get people talking, but the viewers are going to feel like they’ve been tricked.”

  “Which means my brother is about to be voted off,” Finn said.

  She couldn’t tell if he was happy or not. “And then what?”

  “Hell if I know.” He kissed Hannah’s head. “Sorry, little girl.” He settled more deeply in the sofa and sighed. “If I had to guess, I would say that Sasha is going to head to Los Angeles. There is no way he’s coming back to South Salmon. Stephen told me he was going to finish college. I guess I’m going to have to be happy with one of them
getting through school.”

  Before she could point out that he had a fifty percent success rate, the scene shifted to Stephen and Aurelia. They were locked in what looked like a very passionate embrace. This wasn’t fake, Dakota thought, feeling her mouth drop open. This was hot and sexy and very real.

  “Oh, my,” she murmured. “I didn’t know Aurelia had it in her.”

  Finn sprang to his feet. She had to give him credit—he held Hannah so securely, the baby didn’t even stir. But Dakota saw the fury in his eyes.

  “She lied. She made it sound like all she was interested in was getting Stephen back to school. He lied to me, too. Damn him, he never said a word about this.” He turned to Dakota. “I’m going to kill them both.”

  FINN DIDN’T CARE about breaking the law. He knew it was wrong to kill anyone, especially a woman. He knew he would go to jail, and he accepted that. He wasn’t sure how this had happened, but he was going to make sure it stopped. And while he was out ravaging the countryside, he was going to find Geoff and put a fist through his face.

  In the back of his mind, he acknowledged that for the second time in as many months, he was contemplating murder. In his normal life, the one he liked back in South Salmon, he never had those kinds of feelings. He simply went about his day, fat, dumb and happy. Well, not fat or dumb, but still. He didn’t think about crushing another human being.

  It wasn’t him, he told himself. It was this damn town.

  Dakota took Hannah from him. The baby stirred and murmured a protest before falling back asleep. For a second, staring at her sweet face, he felt himself grow more calm. Rational thought took over. Then he looked at the television screen where his brother was making out with some cougar, and the rage returned.

  “Don’t go out there mad,” Dakota told him. “I know you’re not happy about this.”

  “Not happy?”

  He did his best to keep his voice level, more for the sleeping baby than because he didn’t want to shout. Right now yelling sounded pretty damn good. As did throwing something or maybe putting his fist through a wall. Of course, if he put his fist through a wall, he ran the risk of breaking something and right now the only thing he wanted to break was Geoff’s face.

  “If I can’t imagine hating her, how am I going to kill her?”

  “Are you talking about Aurelia?” Dakota’s eyes widened. “You can’t kill anyone. Not only is it wrong, it’s not in your nature.”

  “It could be. I’m very capable of protecting my own. I knew she was a cougar. I knew it and I should have done something right away. She was so sweet the last time I talked to her, pretending she cared about Stephen going back to college. It was all an act.”

  “You’re going to protect your brother from the woman he’s probably in love with? That makes sense. Finn, sit down. Take a breath. This isn’t the end of the world.”

  “She’s nearly ten years older than him. Her life is established. What is she doing with my baby brother?”

  “I’m sure she’s asking herself the same question. I don’t know Aurelia well, but I’ve met her several times. I saw her in school. She’s not aggressive. She has a horrible mother and lives a very small life. I’m sure she’s as upset about this as you are.”

  He deliberately looked at the television screen where the couple in question was still kissing. “Yeah. I can see she’s really broken up about it.”

  Dakota shifted the baby in her arms. “Maybe she’s not upset right now, but I’m sure…”

  “She wants something from him. Whatever it is, she’s not going to get it. She’s using him. She’s probably been planning this from the beginning.”

  Dakota didn’t look convinced. “Don’t do anything rash.”

  He ignored her request. “Are you going to tell me where she lives?”

  “No. And you shouldn’t go looking for her or your brother until you’ve calmed down.”

  “That’s not going to be for a very long time.” He started for the door, then turned around and came back. He kissed Dakota on the cheek and Hannah on the top of her head, then stalked out.

  Once outside of Dakota’s house, he paused, not sure which way to go. He had no idea where Aurelia lived. He’d have to start with Stephen.

  He moved toward the center of town. His brothers shared a room in a small motel opposite the park, just off the lake. Fifteen minutes later, he was knocking on the door to the motel room, but no one answered. No doubt Stephen was hiding from him. A smart move, considering Finn’s mood.

  He started back across the parking lot, only to see Stephen and Aurelia approaching. The couple was holding hands and came to a stop when they saw him.

  He stood his ground, waiting.

  About forty feet separated them. Stephen whispered something to Aurelia, then the two of them walked closer. As they passed under a streetlight, Finn could see that Aurelia had been crying.

  The information didn’t change anything, he told himself. She was a good actress. Too bad she hadn’t been paired with Sasha. They could have found fame and fortune together.

  “Obviously we have to talk,” Stephen said when they were close enough to have a conversation.

  “We can have it out here or in your room.” Finn glared at Aurelia. “Or we could go back to your place and you could tell me your plan.”

  Aurelia’s eyes widened. More tears slipped down her cheeks. “It’s not what you think,” she whispered.

  “Do I look like I believe that?”

  “Don’t,” Stephen told him, then led the way to the motel room. After using his key, he pushed open the door.

  Aurelia went in first. Finn followed.

  The space was small. Two double beds, a long dresser with an old television sitting on top, a chair in the corner and the door leading to an even tinier bathroom. The digs weren’t impressive, but then Geoff didn’t feel the need to pamper his contestants.

  “I know you’re upset,” Stephen began.

  “You think?”

  His brother ignored that. “Despite how angry you are, you’ll treat Aurelia with respect. If you don’t, this conversation is over.”

  “You’re going to make me?”

  Stephen stepped between him and Aurelia. “Yes.”

  There was quiet determination in his brother’s voice. A strength in the way he stood. Finn was careful not to let his surprise show. Neither of his brothers had ever tried to stand up to him before. They preferred to sneak off rather than confront him directly. Maybe Stephen was finally growing up.

  “All right,” he said, folding his arms across his chest. “Tell me why I shouldn’t believe the worst.”

  Aurelia and Stephen looked at each other. Finn was aware of silent communication between them, but he couldn’t interpret it.

  “We never meant for this to happen,” Aurelia said quietly.

  “You came on the show,” Finn reminded her. “It’s a show about meeting someone. Obviously, you wanted to meet someone. I agree that you probably had no control over who you were matched with.”

  He could feel his fragile control slipping. The anger returned and with it the need to lash out. “Look at him,” he demanded. “He’s twenty-one. He’s still a kid. His running away to be on this show proves that. If you think there’s anything to be gained, any money, you can forget it.”

  Stephen stepped between them again and put his hand on Finn’s chest. “Don’t,” his brother growled. “Don’t push her, don’t threaten her, don’t make this end badly.”

  On the one hand, Finn appreciated Stephen’s maturity. On the other hand, this was the wrong time for it to show up.

  “Stop,” Aurelia said. She stepped between them and separated them, holding them at arm’s length. “You’re family. Try to remember that.” She looked at Stephen. “Please let me do this. Finn doesn’t mean anything bad. He’s worried about you and that’s a good thing.”

  “I’m worried about you,” Stephen told her. “I don’t want him to upset you.”

 
Aurelia shook her head. “It’s not him. It’s what’s happening around us.” She turned to Finn and dropped her arms to her sides. “You’re right. I did come on the show looking for something. A lot of it was about my mother, which I’m not going to get into now.” She managed a slight smile.

  Her whole face changed when she smiled, Finn thought. She went from plain to pretty. There was an intelligence in her eyes. He could see why Stephen found her so appealing. But that didn’t make the relationship right.

  “I should have thought this through,” Aurelia admitted. “When they first put me with Stephen, I was so embarrassed. He’s younger and attractive and outgoing. Everything I’m not. But I was afraid to walk away. It would just be another rejection. I also wanted the twenty thousand. I want to buy a house of my own.”

  She clutched her hands together in front of her waist. “I know you can’t understand. You’ve always been successful. Look at what you’ve done with the family business and with your brothers.”

  She glanced at Stephen, then back at Finn. “I’ve never had the courage to stand up for myself. I’ve always been so afraid. Being around Stephen has shown me who I can be if only I’m willing to take the risk. He’s taught me to be brave. I didn’t know I could be.”

  “I’m sure this would be very compelling to someone who gave a shit,” Finn told her. “But I—”

  “I wasn’t finished,” she told him firmly, staring directly into his eyes. “I would appreciate it if you would let me finish what I have to say.”

  “All right,” Finn said slowly, surprised she was willing to take him on. He was pretty sure he had intimidated her, so this act of courage was unexpected. It was possible it made him like her a little.

  “I’m not a cougar. I wasn’t looking for a younger man. I don’t know what I was looking for, and maybe that’s the problem. I never thought I would find anyone. I never thought I was good enough. But I am. I deserve love as much as anyone else.”